The Sound of a Crying Angel
by Kraven Ergeist
Summary: THE DIFFERENCE OF A LIFE, BOOK 2 :: The Angels have come, and the children are ready. But do they even comprehend that the greatest threat comes not from without, but from within? SHINJI X REI :: FINISHED! :: Concluded in: Book 3, The Boy Who Shouted "I".
1. Chapter One

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

Book Two: The Sound Of A Crying Angel

September 5th, 2015

Seated in their docked war machines deep within the compound of the Geo-Front, Shinji, Rei and Asuka watched in a mixture fascination, horror and, in Asuka's case, condescending elitism, as what they had just been told was an angel proceeded to tear up, mangle and maim what had to be two dozen JSSDF VTOL craft, before the live feed was cut when the Angel knocked out the camera.

"So that's what we're up against?" Shinji mumbled, pensively. His screen switched over to a secondary camera angle. "I can see why you'd need an Evangelion to be able to beat something like that."

"Heh," Asuka smirked. "They actually think a couple of helicopters are going to do the trick?"

"The VTOL are clearing away," Rei noted, watching the scene through the screen inside her entry plug. "I suspect they are planning on dropping an N2 mine."

Shinji and Asuka had about two seconds to blink before the image of the angel was replaced by static.

"What's an N2 mine?" Shinji asked, after staring at the snow for a few seconds.

"Are you serious?" Asuka gawked. "They let you pilot an Eva without knowing what an N2 mine is?"

"Asuka…" Shinji moaned.

"An N2 mine," Rei explained, "Is a highly advanced explosive device, capable of making devastating, isolated strikes against a target, accurate to within a city block. It's the most powerful weapon the UN controls."

Shinji nodded. "I see. Do you think it worked against the angel?"

"Doubtful," Rei shrugged.

About five seconds later, the video screen popped back up again.

"Guess not," Shinji muttered.

"Come _on_!" Asuka whined. "I want to get going already!"

"Don't worry, Asuka," Shinji smiled. "It doesn't look like there's anything stopping it from knocking on our door." Looking to Rei's screen, Shinji nodded. "Rei…what have you deciphered so far?"

Rei paused for a moment. "The Angel has limited mobility, but makes up for it with two very powerful long range weapons. Its first is what appears to be an optical laser, which can be fired several times in succession. Its second weapon is an insubstantial lance that emits from its arms, which can also be used several times in succession. I have yet to deduce it's maximum range, but until I do, we must assume it to be unlimited."

Asuka rested her face in her hands. "It doesn't matter _what_ this angel thinks it can throw at us! I swear, it's going to be _nightfall_ by the time this angel reaches Tokyo-3!"

Shinji sighed. "Calm down, Asuka…you'll get your chance to show off how awesome you are, I guarantee it."

Asuka threw a glare at the Second Child. "Did I catch a note of sarcasm escaping your lips?"

Shinji smirked. "Come on, Asuka. Sarcasm? Me?"

Asuka returned his smirk. "You just wait, Shinji! I'll crush this angel so fast, you won't even have time raise your gun!"

Shinji smiled. "For our sake, I hope that's true."

xxxxx

"Well, Ikari, I must confess, our weapons have proven ineffective," The Chief Commander of the JSSDF said to Yui and her crew. "However, I sincerely doubt that your organization will have any more success where we have failed."

Yui stood tall and proud (never mind the fact that she measured less than 180 centimeters), her husband, second in command stationed at her side. Naoko Akagi and Captain Katsuragi stood directly behind, while the bridge was controlled by Maya Ibuki, Hyuga Makoto, and Shigeru Aoba.

Yui smiled, crossing her arms tightly. "Don't worry, gentlemen…NERV was created for this exact purpose. There wouldn't exactly be a reason for our being here if we weren't capable of handling this situation."

"For all our sakes," the chief nodded, before their platform sunk into the compound, "I hope you're right."

Yui smiled, before bringing up all three pilot screens. "Okay, you guys, this is everything we've been planning for the past fourteen years. Are you ready?"

Asuka smiled. "Bring it on!"

"I shall perform to the best of my ability," Rei nodded.

"We're ready mo – er, Commander," Shinji nodded.

Yui nodded. "Good. Captain, if you please?"

Misato stepped into the pilots view. "Alright, pilots. The Angel's ETA is in two and a half hours. When it arrives, you'll each be placed into combat at three strategic locations around the city. You'll each be armed with two standard issue progressives knives, and there will be numerous fire arms stationed through the map."

Each pilot nodded, respectfully.

"This is our darkest hour yet, guys," Misato frowned. "I need to know if _any_ of you have any reservations, or anything else that might make you hesitate on the battlefield."

Asuka laughed out loud. "Reservations? Are you joking? I've been itching for this my whole life!"

"We are the only ones capable of this task," Rei muttered. "For that reason, we must fight."

"I _would_ like to know about what it is we're fighting," Shinji sighed. "But I already know that's not really an option. Don't worry – I won't let you down, Captain."

Misato nodded. "That will do. Commander, if we're ready to begin?"

Yui nodded. "Proceed."

Misato turned back to the deck. "Begin primary activation protocol!"

All at one, the three Evangelion units began to hum to life, their entry plugs calmly resonating down their respective Eva's spinal column. Rei sighed lightly, as her mind expanded to encompass that of her Eva.

"First Child synchronizing at 38 percent!"

Shinji let an easy breath loose as the surrounding tube turned into an Omni-max theatre complex in a matter of seconds, spinning lights and colors fading in and out of existence as his whole world got larger and smaller at once, and all of the sudden, it was if he himself was stuck in the Eva cages with a plug in his back.

"Second Child synchronizing at 43 percent!"

Asuka couldn't help but grin as her Eva came to life in her grip, her war machine powering up to a level unmatched by any in the entire world.

"Third Child synchronizing at 49 percent!"

"Alright!" Asuka shouted. "Let's kick some ass!"

Rei blinked, turning to Shinji's panel. "Asuka is…enthusiastic, yes?"

Shinji sweat dropped. "'Enthusiastic' doesn't even begin to describe it…"

xxxxx

"Alright, guys," Misato intoned as the Eva's finally unlocked from their catapults amidst the dark city. "The Angel's almost here. Is everyone in position?"

"Roger," was the unanimous reply.

"Very good," Misato nodded. "Now, remember, the first priority is beating the angel. Do not give a second's regard to the city – all civilians have been evacuated to safety, and buildings can always be repaired. The best course of action of course would be to take out the angel without incurring any damage to your Eva's or the city, but I'd like to think realistically about this. Basically, kill the angel, do it in as efficient a manner as possible without making any unnecessary risks. Are you ready?"

Again, "Roger," though Shinji's was a little forced.

"Second Child's blood pressure is 112 over 80," an announcement made itself known to Misato.

"Shinji, what's wrong?" the Captain demanded.

"Nothing!" Shinji hiccoughed. "Just a little tense. I'll manage."

Asuka laughed. "Relax, Shinji! You've got _me_ at your back! What could go wrong?"

"Incoming!"

Before anyone could cry uncle, a plume of energy shot down the street, just missing Asuka as she dodged into an intersecting avenue. The blast continued onward, before splitting off in three perpendicular directions.

"Asuka, are you all right?" Shinji hollered, bringing his rifle to bear, scanning every direction.

"Just fine," Asuka laughed. "That Angel's going to have to try harder if he wants to his me with _that_!"

A second blast came. This time, Asuka wasn't so lucky.

"Unit 02's left arm from the shoulder down have received damage," came one of many innocuous alerts from within NERV.

"Come _on_, you guys, help me out here!" Asuka commanded.

"We could if we could _see it_, Asuka!" Shinji protested. "It's using a ranged weapon!"

"Then what the hell is your rifle for, dummkopf!"

Shinji didn't respond as another blast from the Angel made its way to him. He leapt, scaling a building whose top most portion was fortunately (or unfortunately, from the building's point of view) not entirely underground.

Shinji reached the top, and bared his rifle. With the higher ground now in possession, Shinji found the Angel easily, returning fire.

"I got it!" Shinji shouted, steel determination and accomplishment in his voice.

"Angel spotted at point R-27!" Misato hollered. "All units, target that point!"

Rei and Asuka found their way to him, just in time for him to dodge a very specifically aimed eye laser. Apparently, achieving high ground also meant making yourself into a target.

Rei and Asuka released a volley of bullet fire, hitting the Angel hard enough to knock it back. Their AT fields weren't close enough to neutralize each other, so the fire had no real lasting effect on the Angel.

"Shinji," Rei opened up communication in a hushed voice. "In the future, would you please not make yourself into such an easy target? I would prefer it if you did not die during our maiden campaign."

Shinji cringed. "Uh…sorry, Rei. I'll be more careful."

"If the soap opera's done now, I could use some help here!" Asuka hollered.

She was currently engaged in hand-to-hand combat against the Angel, and the Angel – though the Eva possessed greater muscle strength, the Angel's weapons _were_ its arms – was winning.

"Damn it!" Asuka screamed, dodging extending and recoiling arm lances like she was Neo from the Matrix. "It's not going to take this thing long to connect with one of those things!"

"Hang on!" Shinji cried, coming up behind her. "We're on our way!"

"Idiot!" Asuka screamed. "Don't get in the same line of fire!"

Shinji had about a millisecond to think "huh?" before the Angel activated its eye laser at close range. Shinji and Asuka were thrown back, while Rei, ever the tactical genius, had already positioned herself atop another fortunately, or unfortunately, placed building, launching herself at the Angel.

Flipping through the air, she knocked the Angel senseless with direct blow with the kneecaps, landing on its far side. Catching the Angel stunned, Rei shot her arms under the Angel's, twisting its arms back into a nelson of sorts.

A total gamble, but it seemed to work.

"Now!" Rei shouted.

Asuka swore as she tore to her feet, grabbing her knife, lunging at the Angel's exposed core.

Rei tensed as she felt, more than saw, the angel charge up its eye laser again, and she put her Eva's whole body into her strangle holding, shoving the Angel so that its "face" was staring straight at the ground.

Big mistake.

The force of the eye laser threw both Angel and Unit 00 into the air, sending them both tumbling to the ground. The Angel, by some twist of fate, or perhaps by its own volition (who could really say the two were not one in the same?) had landed behind the Eva's defense line, and was literally steps away from the center of Tokyo-3, where it prepared to burrow its way into the compound, trying to find the source that endlessly called to it.

Shinji interposed himself before it could, knife in hand. With a shout, he rammed it into the angel's core. The force of his jab, however, was not nearly enough to break it. Unfazed by the Eva's attack, Sachiel prepared its eye laser once again.

Shinji cringed. "Take it, Shinji! Just _take_ it!"

Seizing a hold of the Angel's right arm, the optical blast hit Shinji at full force, pushing him with a tidal wave of pressure. That Shinji had expected. What he hadn't expected was the singing burning that his entire body felt as the blast hit. It was if every fiber of his skin was aflame, and the burn did not go away once the blast had resided.

"Damn it!" Shinji screamed. "Just die!"

Using his leverage of the Angel's arm, he dug his knife deeper and deeper in the Angel's core, praying to whatever God would listen that it would drop before it could fire another one of those blasts.

It didn't. Instead, the Angel grabbed his knife arm with its one free hand, and squeezed. The entire arm swelled as the Angel's muscled mass quintupled, delivering what felt like, a gigaton of force.

Shinji swore that he felt his forearm crumble, and almost lost his grip on his knife, but kept his hold. At this rate, he'd run out of sufficient strength to push it that extra inch or two needed to suffuse the Angel's core. And the throbbing in his arm was getting worse and worse.

Two things suddenly happened, neither of which Shinji was very pleased with.

One, his Eva's right arm snapped.

Two, the Angel fired its eye laser again.

Shinji, for one, was not happy.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

His shout of twisted agony was heard throughout the entire facility. Suddenly weak and small, the blast carried him away, ramming him into yet another unfortunate piece of civilian architecture.

His arm felt like it was in tatters, and his whole body scream as the burning stinging of the Angel's eye laser delivered a sensation much akin to peeling off one's skin, before dunking them in salt water.

Hearing faint sounds coming from his radio, indicating his weakening synchro-graph, pulse rate, ego level among other such signs that made him and Eva at all compatible, Shinji sat back, unsure of what he could possibly do under that kind of physical duress. He really couldn't focus on anything; his mind could only shrink in terror as he saw the angel charge up a third blast.

The first had been agonizing. The second had taught him the definition of pain. There was no doubt in Shinji's mind that he would not survive a third.

The last thing he saw before slipping into unconsciousness was Unit 00 suddenly seizing the Angel's arms once again, and Unit 02 appearing before it, delivering a spinning kick that struck the butt of Unit 01's progressive knife, ramming it all the way into Sachiel's core.

xxxxx

September 6th, 2015

Shinji awoke with a start, clutching his right arm, convinced that it possessed a second elbow where his forearm was, a shout of panic clear and loud. His eyes slowly regained focus, as pale yellow light began flooding his vision, marred by a sudden splotch of blue.

"…Rei?" Shinji coughed. "Is that you?"

A hand touched his, and Shinji recoiled.

"Shinji – it's me."

Shinji's heart was in his throat as panicked all over again. He stuttered out an apology, as he caught his breath. He felt Rei's touch again, and still flinched away.

"Calm down, Shinji…" came Rei's soothing voice. "Everything's all right."

Shinji clenched his eyes shut, beads of sweat collecting on his face. _It's just Rei…_ he told himself. _It's just Rei…it's just Rei…_

Slowly, Shinji opened his eyes, trying to make out the blurry blue blotch, as it slowly came back into focus. As definition returned to his world, he saw Rei's worried face, as he reached up to where she was, feeling her take his hand.

"…Sorry, Rei…" Shinji muttered. "I guess I'm a little jittery…"

Rei made no response. She just stood by his bedside, content to hold his hand, offering what comfort she could.

Slowly, Shinji's scattered memory pieced itself together. "Did we win?"

Rei nodded, reaching up with her other hand, stroking his face. "You provided Asuka and I the necessary edge to stop the Angel. And at no small price. The damage you sustained was tremendous – to you and Unit 01."

Shinji nodded, lying back down. "I don't know how I'm going to be able to do this Rei."

Rei shook her head. "Statistically, you sustained an unusually large bulk of the Angel's assault. It will not always be this hard for you."

Shinji shook his head. "You don't understand Rei…I don't perform well under that kind of duress."

Rei squeezed his hand tightly. "Shinji…"

"They taught me how to fight, Rei…" Shinji muttered, still shivering. "They taught me how to fight…they taught me how to kill…" Shinji covered his face with his hands. "…But they never taught me…how to handle _pain_…"

Rei frowned, placing his hand against her cheek. "Try not to remember that right now, Shinji… Are you well enough to stand?"

Shinji sat up, slowly dropping his legs over the bed, shifting his weight onto the floor. He took a few steps back and forth, before nodding.

Rei smiled. "Good. The Commander…your mother…wishes to speak with you."

Shinji nodded, icily. "I bet she does."

Glancing up, Shinji saw Asuka peeking through the open door at him. Their eyes met for an instant, before a faint "eep" was heard and her eyes disappeared.

Shinji allowed himself a brief chuckle before following Rei out of the hospital room.

xxxxx

Though it was nice to be recognized for his accomplishments, Shinji had never particularly enjoyed being the center of attention. As hard as it had been at school, here it was worse.

Here, there were adults.

Affection in front of strangers at school is one thing. Affection in front of all the staff at NERV, from the spunky captain, to the Rei's surrogate mother and creepy scientist, to the freshly graduated bridge bunnies (one of whom kept causing Shinji to blush with her smile), was something else entirely. Shinji could not imagine a worse time to be hugged so dearly – or repeatedly - by his mother.

"Uh…mom?" Shinji cringed. "You're, um…you're still the Commander of NERV, and, um…I'm still one of your pilots…"

Yui hardly acknowledged the boy's protests as she continued to bawl over him. "Oh, Shinji, I saw that Angel hurt you and I thought the worse! Are you _sure_ that you're okay?"

As Shinji proclaimed for eighth time that he was fine, Asuka still stood at ease by Rei's side, practically neglected since arriving. "Rei and I helped too! I was the one who killed the Angel, after all!"

Receiving no comment from either the staff or her blue haired co-worker, Asuka blew a stray lock of hair out of her face. "I wish Daddy were here…"

Rei didn't respond to her. She did, however, give her surrogate mother a hopeful look. Naoko Akagi glanced up at her, frowned, and looked away.

Rei felt a cold chill run down her spine. After proving herself an effective pilot despite her relationship with Shinji, her mother still wouldn't recognize her. Or perhaps, that was precisely why she wouldn't – proving that, despite Naoko's desire for Rei to cease involvement with the "Ikari boy," she was still capable of piloting effectively probably earned her more credit than the washed up professor thought she was worth. Rei had always felt the distinct impression that the blonde did not like her – she never suspected, however, that she might ever be envious.

No, not envious. That was not the correct term for a master who finds that their charge does not need any contribution of theirs in order to remain successful.

Rei bit her lips pensively, as the Commander finally released her son from her death like hold.

Shinji blushed, furiously, as he returned to the ranks with his fellow pilots. Offering Asuka a pitiful look, he shrugged. "Really, I'd have thought she'd be professional enough to contain herself until she was off duty."

Before Asuka could offer her unavoidable teasing, Rei shook her head. "Mothers are…obligated to care for their children. When their brood is placed in dire circumstances, a mother's psychology can becomes very…unstable. It is understandable that she would behave this way. If not for her duty as Commander, you would have woken to her face and not my own."

Shinji nodded, understanding, as Asuka's teasing fell on deaf ears. He knew deep inside how his mother felt about him. He knew that it couldn't be easy for her to watch him go into battle. He also admired her strength and adherence to duty. To allow your own young into harms way without any action to prevent it…

Rei had been staring at Professor Akagi for the entirety of her speech. The scientist, for her part, refused to even look at her.

"Well done, pilots, well done," Yui nodded, recomposing herself. "You all performed remarkably well. Rei, for a sync ratio of only 38 percent, your acrobatics were astounding. And Asuka, brilliant finishing move. If not for your mastery of combat arts, it's not likely any of us would be here."

Asuka held herself proudly, while Rei merely allowed herself to smile.

"Unfortunately, I have other duties to attend to, so I will defer you to the Captain for the time being. Until we meet again, I bid you all farewell."

All three pilots respectfully saluted as their Commander's platform sunk into the complex.

Shinji noticed that his father was absent from his usual stance at his mother's side. Tucking that bit of information away for later, he turned with his co-workers to face his Captain.

"Just to reiterate, well done, pilots," Misato beamed, proudly. "You've each performed above and beyond our expectations. Now, I know that all of you are exhausted form your first battle, but I needn't remind you that Angel attacks are sometimes unanticipated. So, I'll need you all in tiptop condition, and ready to fight at any time. That being said, I expect each of you to show up to sync training on a regular basis. That will be all. I'll see you all tomorrow."

The three pilots politely bowed, before turning to go.

Shinji let go of a breath hadn't known he was holding. "We…we just walked away from out first victory…"

Asuka crossed her arms, proudly. "What did you expect? I'm the best there is, and you two aren't shabby! We crushed that Angel like it was tin foil!"

Rei nodded. "We were victorious today. I hope that we may walk away from future battles in such a manner."

Shinji hung his head, involuntarily. "I don't. I don't ever want to have to go through something like that again."

Asuka slapped him hard on the back. "Oh, buck up, Second Child! So you got a little singed! You're alive, aren't you? Don't be such a whiner!"

Shinji threw her a glare. "Don't even think about telling _me_ what and what not to handle, Asuka! You weren't the one who - who was hit at point blank range – twice – by a freaking heat ray! You – you try taking one of those things! I've never hurt so - so badly in my entire life!"

Asuka stared, a disappointed frown on her face. "Shinji…"

Shinji turned away, breath increasing. "Do you have - do you have _any_ idea how much it _hurts_ have one of your arms _broken_? To – to have it snapped in _two_, right in front of your face?"

Rei took initiative and placed her hands over his shoulders, coolly massaging him, trying her hardest to get him to relax. "Stop this, Shinji…I told you before, you were simply unlucky today. Tomorrow will be better."

Shinji threw her a pained looked. "How do you _know_ that? How do you know there won't be another Angel attack tomorrow? Or the day after?"

Rei frowned.

"Oh, that's right – you already do!" Shinji scoffed. "You were just ordered not to tell me!"

Rei scowled. "Shinji…that's not fair…"

Shinji pulled away from her. "You know what's _not_ fair? Keeping things from the person who cares about you! I don't care if you think it's in my best interests, or if my mother order your or what…but I don't like being lied to!"

Rei frowned. "Shinji…I'm not lying to you…"

Shinji shook his head. "Of course, it's really not that simple, is it? Who am I to question your honesty, when I can't even be honest with myself?"

Rei and Asuka gave him a puzzled look.

"This isn't the life for me, Rei," Shinji frowned, biting his lip. "I'm…I'm no good a soldier…I mean, here I am, trying to pilot Eva and save the world…when all I ever wanted was to be closer to the girl I liked…"

Asuka took that moment to step in. "If I may interject your little lover's spat to say something…Shinji, I haven't been all that honest either."

Shinji and Rei blinked, confused.

"All those times I said it was easy for me?" Asuka offered. "Well, it wasn't. Piloting Eva is anything but easy for me. It doesn't come naturally for me. It took me eight years to even get it to start up. After I finally got it moving, I told myself it was easy…I poured myself into my training, but really…I've been struggling ever since…"

Asuka shook her head. "I know it doesn't sound fair to tell you not to be selfish…but you're not the only one struggling here. Rei and I…we're putting in just as much as you are. And besides, Rei's got a point – it won't always be you getting hurt. It could have just as easily been _me_ getting blasted by those heat rays. And I _was_ hit by one of them, albeit glancingly, in case you forgot. It's not any easier for me…or for Rei."

Asuka managed a smile. "On that note, aren't you glad it was _you_ in the path of that blast, and not her? Or _me_, if you can bring yourself to admit that you're crazy over me?"

Surprising even himself, Shinji managed a laugh. "Yeah…I guess you're right. Thanks, Asuka…that really puts things into perspective for me…"

Rei nodded, leaving a mental note to personally thank the red-head later.

Asuka wrapped her arms around both pilot's shoulders. "Now, if all the angst and self pity are out of the way…who wants ice cream?"

xxxxx

Yui descended into the bowels of NERV where Gendo and Ritsuko stood in the dark laboratory.

"H-hello, Commander," Ritsuko stuttered, looking embarrassed.

Yui stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "Ritsuko, must you continue to address me that way? And please, hold yourself straight! Hasn't your mother taught you anything?"

Ritsuko stood up, rigidly. "Yes ma'am!"

Yui let out a sigh, before nodding to her husband. "Sorry, dear…I know you think coddling Shinji is a waste of time, but I truly feel that he needs it in order to persevere. You understand, don't you?"

Gendo nodded, returning the kiss that his wife gave to him. "Do whatever pleases you, dear. You are the Commander of NERV, after all."

Noticing the jealous blush on Ritsuko's face, Yui nodded. "Of course…now, on to business…"

Gendo nodded, before pressing a switch on a remote, which slowly lifted the steel casing up from over an enormous glass tube, much akin to the kind Rei was normally contained in – only much, much larger.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Yui pondered. "We have no idea how it will react."

Gendo nodded. "We had no idea what trying to isolate Adam would do either. The result was the Second Impact. But you and are still alive, and so long as the Angel's continue to riddle us with their vagaries, we must continue to experiment until we understand them fully."

Yui nodded. "I know…but to-"

"Hush, my dear," Gendo chided. "I promise that once this is all done and over with, you will thank me for encouraging this."

Yui nodded, reluctantly accepting her husband's words. Looking up at the tube, she eyes it's specimen ruefully. She touched the glass, letting the cool surface moisten at her touch.

Staring down at her, with a cold empty, skeletal gaze, was the dead body of Sachiel. Off in the distance, more gigantic tanks loomed, unfilled, their numbers continuing on for an even sixteen plus.

In the background, Ritsuko's voice was like a fluttering of wings to the woman. "First Children cellular induction proceeding steadily at seventy percent…eighty percent…ninety percent…we have full induction, Commander."

Yui nodded, giving her husband a fearful nod. "Begin the operation, Ritsuko."

Slowly, the Lance of Longinus, attached to a sturdy waterproof crane, lowered down vertically into the pool, proceeding steadily, until it came into contact with Sachiel's broken core.

Yui threw her husband one last look, before cringing.

…Half a second later, the lance breached the core shell…

…And the depths of NERV echoed…

…With the sound of a crying Angel…

xxxxx

A/N: Just felt like leaving off on a dark note.

I wanted to build some tension between Shinji and Rei, but I wasn't ready to give them growing pains just yet. I also thought it appropriate that Asuka act as a savior of sorts. This sort of thing is bound to happen again, but of course, Asuka's resilience only lasts so long.

I also thought it was important to depict that, while still proud, Asuka was capable of admitting her weakness to her closest friends. It makes her much more of a human being, and much more practical to write with.

Hope everyone likes this new edition to my "Difference Of A Life" Story arc. Hopefully, this book will pull off another good eight chapters or more, before proceeding into Book Three. If things go as planned, Book Two should end at about the same time the series ends, while Book Three should encompass EoE and beyond.

Again, this is only speculative. As adverse as my plans have proven in the past, it would not surprise me if something entirely different transpired.

Read and review!

I'm out.


	2. Chapter Two

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

September 6th, 2015

Amid the metropolis of Tokyo-3, three pilots strolled down the street, each holding a cone of ice cream. Shinji glanced at Rei who eyed the concoction, warily.

"Rei…?" Shinji piped. "What's wrong?"

Rei blinked. "What…is this?"

Shinji tried not to laugh. Asuka didn't.

"You've never had ice cream before?" the redhead blurted. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Shinji gave Asuka a peeved look. "Try it, Rei…it's good."

Rei nodded, raising the cone to her mouth. She dabbed at the sugary desert, testing its flavor. She then took another taste. And another.

"You like it?"

Rei took another taste. "It is good."

Shinji smiled as Rei enjoyed herself, before she froze, suddenly, dropping the cone in a daze.

"Rei?" Shinji stopped walking.

Rei looked petrified, like a terrifying idea had suddenly come to her.

"What's up with her?" Asuka queried.

"Rei!" Shinji grabbed her wrist. "What's wrong?"

Rei snapped out of her reverie. "I…I don't know, Shinji…I just…had a terrible feeling… Like being stabbed through the heart…and twisted into something horrible…"

Shinji placed a comforting arm on her shoulder. "Rei…I think I should take you home…"

Rei nodded. "Thank you…I am sorry our leisure had to be cut short, Asuka…you had mind to treat us."

Asuka shrugged. "No problem. Ice cream's cheap, and you don't look so good."

Shinji offered Rei a shoulder to lean on. "I'll go ahead and take her home. I'll see you in school tomorrow, Asuka."

Asuka shook her head. "I'm not doing anything. Why don't I lend a hand?"

Shinji watched as Asuka took Rei's other arm over her should and smiled.

"Thank you…Asuka…" Rei voiced, sounding weaker by the minute.

Worried, the two rushed her home.

xxxxx

Eight of the fifteen members of SEELE hovered around an oblong table, staring down the Commander of NERV.

"If I had to think of a list of adjectives to describe the way in which your Eva's defend the Black Moon, Ikari, the last one to see that list would be 'economic,'" Lorenz Keel offered, bluntly. "You mean to tell me that after all the funding our department provided you, _this_ is the best result your organization can muster? Surely, you're not serious!"

Yui Ikari crossed her arms. "I doubt that any amount of training would turn any amongst yourselves into satisfactory pilots at fourteen years of age, Mister Keel. And certainly, not against something The Dead Sea Scrolls have invariably defined as being 'invincible.' Considering that my pilots have just accomplished two impossibilities, I think my department deserves a little bit more respect."

Keel placed a firm hand on the table before him. "Respect, I offer willingly. I am a bit more hesitant when I am asked to continuously provide resources to a facility has proven to be sub-par in its accomplishments."

"The costs required to bring the city and your Eva's back up to the full potential they had _before_ the Angel attack are enough to bankrupt a nation, Ikari," the long nosed representative added, scornfully.

"And don't forget," the large nosed representative voiced. "You are also in possession of the lance much sooner than we had originally bargained for."

"NERV will be the first to have use for it," Yui reasoned. "What would you do with it in the meantime? Set it up in a museum?"

"This department has grown suspicious of your actions, Ikari," Keel growled. "Why does NERV need to be in possession of the Lance of Longinus? Why did you salvage the body of the Third?"

"For our scientists to study, of course," Yui nodded, without missing a beat. "If there is any chance to improve our odds in combat, then we must discern all we can from what gets left behind."

Keel frowned. "You're planning something, Ikari…this is plain to us."

Yui smiled. "What do you have to fear? When you still have two Eva's that you have withheld from the organization that needs them most?"

There was a long silence.

"Those two are still being tested," a member offered, weakly.

"By whom?" Yui demanded. "Am I not the highest authority on bio mechanics? Are my top two scientists not the second and third highest? Who better to test Unit 03 and 04 than us?"

The Commander's argument was met with only silence.

"I'll make you an offer," Yui stated bluntly. "You put Unit 03 and 04 under my jurisdiction, and I will include this department in my little 'pet project.'"

Keel clenched his hand into a fist. "Ridiculous! What right to have to make deals with this organization? Who do you think we are? Anything you're working on at NERV is already under our jurisdiction!"

"Not true," Yui smiled, smartly. "As soon as the Angel and the lance touched Japanese soil, it became my responsibility. My offer remains. That is my final word in the matter. I would hear your response the next time we meet."

Keel glared as Yui stood to her feet. "I do not recall dismissing you!"

Yui smiled back. "Good. At least your memory isn't going."

Keel could only gasp in shock at Yui's impertinence as she disappeared from view.

xxxxx

Naoko gave Rei and Shinji a suspicious look as she stepped into her apartment and saw the two of them sitting at the kitchen table. "What is _he_ doing here?"

Before Rei could get up to offer an explanation, Shinji stepped forward. "I'm sorry, Professor Akagi…Rei wasn't feeling well, so I walked her home. There was nobody here, and I didn't think it was a good idea to leave her all alone."

Naoko crossed her arms. "And I'm supposed to believe that you two were doing nothing?"

Shinji blinked. "Professor…? Didn't you here me? Rei is sick!"

Naoko stepped over to the table where the two sat. "I think it's time that you left, young man. I can take care of my daughter, thank you."

Rei coughed, staggering to her feet. "Shinji…"

Shinji shook his head. "Rei, don't stand up. Please, try to relax."

"Ahem," Naoko cleared her throat. "I'm waiting."

Rei did not obey Shinji's request. "Mother…Shinji has done nothing wrong. He was merely looking out for my well being."

Naoko placed an angry hand on the table. "I don't care if he's willing slit his own wrists for you! Just because the _Commander_ deems it acceptable for you two to go out doesn't mean I have to like it. And I'll be damned if I can't control what goes on in this house!"

Shinji nodded. "I understand. Rei, I'm sorry. I'll leave. I…I hope you feel better soon."

Rei couldn't only stare in grief as her one comfort vanished out her front door.

Afterwards, Naoko went to the bathroom to retrieve some pills that were suited to Rei's specific needs.

"Mother, was that necessary?" Rei asked. "What is it about Shinji that you detest so much?"

Naoko eyed one of the pill jars, nonchalantly. "It's not your place to question my judgment, Rei."

Rei bit her lip. "If you would explain your reasoning to me, then it would be easier for me to comply with your wishes."

Naoko stepped up to her, a glass of water and handful of pills in her hand. "This discussion is over, Rei. Now here: takes these."

Rei frowned, but obeyed, ingesting the four different color capsules her mother handed her and downed it with the glass of water.

"Now, go to your room and lie down," Naoko said. "You'll feel better in the morning."

As Rei left the room, Naoko sat at the table, holding her head.

Of course, the only reason she was home at all was to see to it that Rei remained healthy after the induction of her cells into the 3rd Angel. With the samples within Terminal Dogma, they were capable of keeping the clones relatively quiet. But with the induction into something the size of an Angel, not even the walls of NERV would stave of the deafening cries emanating from the 3rd. Had she been any closer, the sound might have killed her.

Naoko got up and checked to see that Rei was sleeping – one of the drugs she had given had contained a sleeping agent. Assured for her momentary safety, Naoko left to return to Headquarters.

xxxxx

"Congratulations, Shinji!" both his parents said at the dinner table.

Shinji tried his hardest to smile. It had been months since both his parents could be see eating together at the table. He should be happy, and honestly, he was. But the thought of Rei buckling under his grip kept putting a raw pit in his stomach.

"What's wrong, Shinji?" Yui asked, after passing her husband a plate of vegetables. "You've just won a great victory for humanity! You should be proud of yourself!"

Shinji shook his head. "Well…after we left headquarters, Rei got sick."

Yui passed her husband a troubled look, before feigning ignorance. "Oh? Was it a fever or something?"

Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. I took her home. And as usual, Professor Akagi chewed me out."

Yui wrinkled her nose. "Don't let that old bat frighten you, Shinji. She's all bluff and bluster. If she were to even lay a finger on you, I would send her tail end packing before the sun set."

Shinji chuckled, lightly. "I'd like to see that."

Gendo calmly ate his rice. "Remember, Shinji, even though she may seem unreasonable, you are still obligated to respect your elders. She's a bit touchy, but she's also one of the smartest women on Earth. Next to your mother, of course."

Yui passed her husband a wry smile. "Now, Gendo…flattery will get you nowhere."

Gendo smiled back. "It wasn't flattery. Besides, I'm convinced that there simply _is_ no proven method of 'getting anywhere' with you."

Yui smiled. "Don't you know it."

Shinji just rolled his eyes as his parents joked on.

He still hadn't told them how much fighting that Angel had _hurt_. The searing burn was still there, the throbbing in his arm wouldn't die down.

_Rei…_ he thought silently. _Please be alright…_

xxxxx

Asuka marched home, somewhat disgruntled at not getting to spend the afternoon with the other pilots. Kicking a stray pebble along the sidewalk, a sudden sounds of screeching tires made itself evident to her, as a Renault Alpine pulled over next to her.

"Oh, hey Asuka!" came a familiar voice.

Asuka glanced at the people in the car. "Captain? Miss, uh…Ibuki?"

Maya waved, shyly.

Misato smiled. "Oh come on, we're outside of NERV, and we've been working together for most of the year. You can call me Misato."

Asuka blinked. "Alright."

Misato frowned. "Now, if I had to guess, the last person I'd have thought you were is a pilot who just saved the city she's walking through. What's with that gloomy look? And where's your entourage?"

Asuka wrinkled her nose. "They dumped me."

Misato put the car into park. "Well, that deserves an hour or two of shopping to take things off your mind. Whaddya say? A nice chance for us girls to get to know each other a little better?"

Asuka hesitated. She hadn't planned on doing anything that day. And it _had_ been a while since she'd been to Tokyo-3's mall.

"Alright," Asuka smiled. "I'm in."

xxxxx

Deep within the heart of NERV, their latest experiment was producing hordes of new data for two of the three of NERV's most valued scientists. After scouring the outflow of what could only have been brainwaves, Naoko and Ritsuko Akagi came to a startling conclusion, before the number one scientist at NERV entered.

"Oh…Commander…" Ritsuko stammered.

"Yes, it's me, Ritsuko," Yui intoned sarcastically. "Don't get your panties in a bunch."

The mention of undergarments seemed to put a halt to Ritsuko's progress for the moment, as Naoko sighed, tiredly. "About time. What took you so long?"

Yui shrugged. "Sorry. Some of us actually care about our family's well being."

Naoko gave the Commander a furtive glare. "And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Yui sighed, dryly. "Naoko…could you _please_ lighten up on Rei and Shinji? It's not hindering our projects as of yet, and it's the only way for their respective sync rates to remain as they are."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "You mean it's what the Supreme Commander ordered you to do?"

Yui threw her subordinate a meaningful stare. "You just wait. Those old fossils will have that buffoon ousted before long."

Naoko shook her head. "Not if you keep pushing your luck with them. What about that little stunt you pulled, offering them the results of the Evangel Project in exchange for control over Unit 03 and 04?"

Yui smiled. "A bluff, Professor. They have no idea what we're doing. Besides, once we have control over all five Eva's, not even their dummy plugs will pose anything close to a threat."

Naoko smiled in agreement. "And, if the Evangel Project _does_ turn out as we'd planned, we won't even need to _use_ the Evas when the end comes."

Yui smiled. "Speaking of which, what have you discerned so far?"

Ritsuko finally snapped back to attentions, eager to impress her superior. "Ma'am! We've uncovered…something unexpected. We've detected certain waveform patterns that are identical to _brainwave_ patterns in human beings. Look."

Yui eyed the papers Ritsuko shoved before her with jaded interest. Interest took a greater hold over her, however, when she eyes came upon what Ritsuko had pointed out.

"Doctor, are you sure of this?" Yui demanded.

Ritsuko nodded. "The Magi are 98.97 percent in agreement."

Naoko nodded, having already sent he results. "You know what this means…"

Yui nodded, gravely. "Our enemies…the Angels…can _think_. They can learn, be taught, and even communicate if they so chose… They are, in fact, sentient beings!"

Ritsuko gasped. "Commander…do you think that if this project goes as planned…?"

Yui nodded. "Yes. We could potentially _communicate_ with the Angels…"

xxxxx

September 7th - 8th, 2015

Rei wasn't in class the next day, or anywhere at NERV Shinji could see, which either meant that she was somewhere else within the bowels of NERV, or still home sick.

Shinji wasn't sure which circumstance he disliked the most.

"Come on, Shinji," Toji sighed. "Quit your moping around!"

Kensuke elbowed him. "Yeah, tell us how the fight went! They won't show any footage over the news! You're our only source of information!"

Toji threw the young man a stare. "That's probably because it's _classified_ information."

Kensuke rolled his eyes. "And since when do you know the definition of a word that big?"

"What was that!"

In addition to his friend's furtive attempts, the red headed foreigner tried her best to cheer the young man up.

"Come on, Shinji," Asuka urged. "Quit your moping around!"

Shinji just sagged his shoulders, unable to offer up a proper reply.

"Look, you're a nice guy and all," Asuka went on. "But keep up the act and I'm going to have to start hurting you."

Shinji got the distinct impression that Asuka wasn't joking.

"Sorry," he muttered, impatiently. "It's just that nothing seems to be right."

Asuka blinked. "What do you mean, nothing seems to be right?"

Shinji shrugged. "Well, I'm the midst of a some holy war for one thing. I'm going to be fighting for an indefinite period of time. The girl I care for the most is sick at home and there's nothing I can do for her, my two local friends aren't offering any sympathy, nor is my newest friend, who, incidentally, could stand to be a bit less hot headed. No offense."

Asuka shrugged. "None taken. But hey, things could be a lot worse, you know?"

Shinji blinked. "Like how? My girlfriend's mother hates me, _my_ parents are never home…"

"Would you stop focusing on all the bad in your life?" Asuka gasped. "God, how does Rei put _up_ with you! It's like all you think about is how much your life _sucks_! And it doesn't, in case you haven't noticed."

Shinji blinked. "How do you figure?"

Asuka listed off the reasons on her fingers. "Well, for one, you work for the most powerful company in the world and are making a six-figure salary before the age of eighteen, you're currently dating a reasonably attractive girl – and hey, I'm not saying you couldn't do better, hint-hint, I'm just stating the facts – you've got your health, your parents, though frequently absent, are also alive and kicking, and you've got me for a friend. Who could ask for more?"

Shinji was silent as he thought that over.

"I suppose you're right," Shinji said. "Usually it's Rei's job to help me put things in perspective, but you managed it surprisingly well."

Asuka smiled, arms crossed.

"One question though," Shinji looked up at her. "Do you _really_ feel that way about me, or is this just some competition with Rei?"

Asuka blinked. She hadn't been expecting _that_ one.

"I'd just as soon take my own advice," Asuka said, smartly, hiding her uncertainty. "It doesn't matter if you're already taken. The fact that we're still friends is a pretty handsome consolation prize."

Shinji smiled. "Really? So, no feelings of jealousy whatsoever?"

Asuka smirked. "None."

Shinji grabbed his bento and headed off. "That's good. Mind if I join you and Hikari for lunch? I can be a pretty good conversationalist."

Asuka nodded. "Sure. Let me just grab my lunch and I'll catch up with you later."

"I'll meet you there."

Asuka watched the boy leave, sighing heavily.

"No feelings of jealousy whatsoever," she repeated to herself, grabbing her lunchbox. Smiling, Asuka looked over to where Shinji had just been moment before.

"For now…"

xxxxx

OMAKE!

Shinji smiled as Rei enjoyed herself, before she froze, suddenly, dropping the cone in a daze.

"Rei?" Shinji stopped walking.

Rei looked petrified, like a terrifying idea had suddenly come to her.

"What's up with her?" Asuka queried.

"Rei!" Shinji grabbed her wrist. "What's wrong?"

Rei snapped out of her reverie. "I felt a great disturbance in the Force…as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror…and were suddenly silenced. I fear  
something terrible has happened."

Asuka blinked. "Uh…Shinji? I hate to tell you this…but I think your girlfriend's a Jedi."

Shinji threw a fist in the air. "Kick ass!"

xxxxx

A/N: I know, it's kind of a short chapter, but I really haven't been able to think up enough decent filler material between Angel battles. Something big is going to come into play to disrupt the flow of this fic so that it doesn't just become another retold series fic like so many others. However, it's going to come into play towards the middle of the series, and until then, I'm at a bit of a loss.

Oh well, I guess a little tension between Shinji and Asuka will suffice for now.

Read and Review!


	3. Chapter Three

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

October 8th, 2015

"The children have been doing very well, haven't they?"

Ritsuko glanced up from her work to see Maya's smiling face. Their work together had been minimal, with Ritsuko constantly tagging behind her Mother and the Commander. With all of Ritsuko's focus on Yui Ikari, it was doubtful she'd even noticed the young bridge bunny's eyes becoming increasingly drawn to her.

"It's to be expected," Ritsuko smiled. "Captain Katsuragi is no amateur. And the pilots have been training most of their lives."

"But still…" Maya urged, bringing up some still motion caps from the most recent Eva battle. "Shinji's marksmanship is increasing…" The slide shifted to see Unit 01 strafing the buildings, plastering the 4th angel with pallet rifle fire. "Rei's agility is impossibly high for her sync rate…" The slide shifted again, revealing Unit 00 angling around Shamshell's dual laser whips. "And Asuka…wow. I've never seen such brute force before…" The slide shifted again, revealing Unit 02 literally wrestling the Angel into a strangle hold, shoving her knife directly into its core. "Every way you look at it, the children are becoming stronger every day."

Ritsuko bit her lips. "Yes. They are."

Maya blinked. "Is something wrong, Sempai?"

Ritsuko shook her head. "Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but…they're children. Children shouldn't have to fight adult's battles."

Maya frowned. "I know what you mean. But there isn't much we can do, is there?"

Ritsuko threw the Commander a look of longing, before averting her gaze as Yui noticed her.

"No…there isn't much we can do."

xxxxx

"I'm telling you, Confucius was nuts!"

They were eating lunch at school as Shinji and Rei blinked as Asuka spouted off on one of her absurd rants.

"Anyone who thinks that suppressing human desires like that can't have ever been laid in his life!"

Rei nodded. "That is a fair statement, but I disagree with your reasoning. The Pillars of Asian society believes that the basic drives of humanity are fundamentally flawed. Since life is a zero sum game, and nothing lasts forever, desires lead to sorrow. Confucius, as well as the Buddha, sought to end such suffering by forgetting the passions ever existed. This is the nature of Nirvana."

Hikari, who had also been watching as she picked at her food, nodded. "I have to agree with Rei on that. Besides, if we let all our passions and drives run free, the world would be in chaos."

Asuka frowned. "I still say that those monks just wanted to make themselves feel good with the fact that they never amounted to anything in life. The whole point of life being a 'zero sum game' is competition! That's what makes life fun and enjoyable!"

Rei shook her head. "You would have a 'fun and enjoyable' life while other starved in the streets? Because a zero sum game basically translates to the concept of there being two men and three apples. If one man gets two apples, the other only gets one. If the one man gets all three, the other starves."

Asuka smirked. "So you're assuming that apples cannot be cut?"

Rei sighed. "You know what I'm implying, Asuka."

Asuka grabbed Shinji by the neck, putting him in a headlock. "Shinji, help me out here! You agree with me, right?"

Rei threw Asuka an awkward look. Shinji, on the other hand, just cringed.

"Sorry, Asuka. I'm Shinto by blood. You can't ask me to argue against my own culture."

Asuka released him, digging into her food. "I swear, you two are impossible."

Shinji had mind to get back to his lunch as well, before Rei's arms slid around his waist.

"Rei?"

"Hmm?"

"Is something wrong?"

Rei shrugged. "No. Why would there be?"

Shinji smiled. "Is someone getting jealous?"

Rei frowned. "It is…disturbing to see her touch you, even if it is so slightly."

Shinji sighed. "Rei, she's just being friendly. And what were you just saying about suppressing our passions?"

Rei blushed.

Shinji got to his feet. Asuka was busy talking to Hikari, more critiquing Asian culture, no doubt. "Come with me, Rei."

Rei blinked, hesitating, before following Shinji to a secluded area behind the school, hidden from most others.

Rei glanced around. It was dark and private, and strangely cold.

"Yes, Shinji?" she said, smiling. "What did you want?"

Shinji turned around to face her, a blush forming on his face. "Rei…when's the last time we ever kissed?"

Rei blushed, suddenly. "Shinji? What…why now?"

Shinji bit his lip. "Cause…I mean, we've been doing the whole 'boyfriend - girlfriend' thing for a month now. But have we really done anything different?"

Rei looked away, unsure. "What…what more do you want?"

Shinji shivered. "I…I want you, Rei…"

Rei looked up as Shinji began kissing her. She found herself trapped, his arms leaning against either side of her against the wall, as he devoured her mouth, whole. She was torn between riveted and petrified. The boy she loved was kissing her, deeply. But here, no one could see them. She could scream, and no one would come. It was all so…electrifying.

"I want…" Shinji muttered as he let go to catch his breath. Stroking her face, Shinji smiled at her. "I want…all of you…"

He kissed her again, seizing her shoulders, letting their bodies press together, almost uncomfortably. Shinji's hands slid around behind and began stroking her back.

Rei blushed, heavily. "Shinji…" she giggled, as his fingers rubbed against her bra strap through her blouse.

Her eyes suddenly flew open, however, when his hand began to untuck her shirt.

"Wait…"

Shinji did not wait. His hand found his way up the back of her shirt, roughing her delicate skin, feeling the soft warmth.

Rei let out another desperate sigh, before regaining herself. "Wait. Shinji, no…stop…"

Shinji's hands stopped moving. Looking at her guiltily, Shinji bit his lip. "Rei?"

Rei pushed his hands off of her. "I…not here…I can't…just…stop…"

Shinji frowned, looking away. "I see. It's still too soon, isn't it?"

Rei nodded, casting her gaze to the floor, a shivering blush on her face.

"That…that's fine," Shinji grunted. "I can wait. I…I'm sorry for pushing you. I'll…I'll stop."

Rei trembled, her arms wrapped over her stomach. "…Thank you…"

Shinji hesitated, before walking out of sight.

Rei waited a second longer, and retucked her shirt.

Where had _that_ come from? She understood Shinji's desire to consummate their relationship was strong, but was he so incapable of controlling himself that he would resort to such measures?

No, Rei scolded herself. She trusted Shinji with all her soul. He would never do anything against her will. Sure, he was insistent, but he _had_ stopped.

And what if he hadn't?

Rei trembled at the realization that if Shinji had in fact decided to force himself on her, she was not fully confident that she could stop him.

Rei commanded her mind to stop thinking such awful thoughts. Shinji was the most honest and pure hearted person she knew. He would never, ever, do something like that.

Rei crouched, her arms wrapped around herself, unable to stop herself from shaking all over. Unable, she realized, for a few brief moments, completely unable to stand.

It had scared her. It had scared her like she had never imagined possible.

Shinji was the most honest and pure hearted person she knew.

She slowly rose to her feet, arms still clutching herself. Clenching her eyes, Rei mentally harangued herself. _All he did was place his hand on my back! What is so terrifying about that?_

He would never, ever, do something like that.

Rei inhaled deeply, reopening her eyes.

Right?

xxxxx

Gendo and Yui Ikari stood, facing the Eva cages, watching as the maintenance of all three Evas carried itself out. Two angels in, and already the Evas were almost fully restored. Tax dollars that the UN had vested in NERV slowly drained before them.

"The second angel has been defeated," Gendo said with a smile.

Yui nodded. "Indeed it has. Naoko and I have been working around the clock to try to uncover its secrets. We salvaged the body of the fourth and discovered even more information than from the third."

Gendo placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Try not to push yourself too hard, Yui. Sometimes, I worry that you're overtaxing yourself."

Yui smiled back. "Don't worry, Dear. I'm well aware of my limits. If I can put up with you for twenty years _and_ raise a teenager, _this_ is nothing."

Gendo joined her chuckling, lightheartedly. "That's my Yui. Always putting a smile on everyone's face."

Yui caught her breath when Gendo kissed the side of her face.

"Dear!" Yui blushed. "You know NERV's policy on displays of affection. If the children can't, then we can't either."

"Don't be like that, Yui," Gendo sighed, gently rubbing her back. "If you constantly live without any of life's little pleasures, you'll begin to forget what they were."

Yui nodded. "Even so, save it for when it's more appro - Mmph!"

Yui was caught off guard as Gendo swept her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

"Come now, Yui…live a little," Gendo winked, standing her back up.

"Oh…you!" Yui flushed, straightening her collar. "You just wait till we get home! Than I'll show you a thing or two about 'little pleasures!'"

Gendo smiled back. "Should I be appeased or insulted?"

"Watch it now," Yui shot back. "I cook your meals!"

"Say no more," Gendo held up his hands, calmly shutting his eyes.

Yui sighed, returning her gaze to her Eva. Perhaps if she were to lighten up a bit more, she'd be more capable of accepting her son's relationship with Rei. It came a bit too close to incest in her opinion. The fact that Rei was sterile made little difference in her mind. In the eyes of the law, and even by the laws of nature, the relationship was sound. But for the woman who knew the girl inside and out, it was a bit more difficult to accept.

xxxxx

For the woman who raised the child since their birth, it was even more difficult.

"I swear…" Naoko ranted as she prepared dinner. Whether the pot in front of her was boiling because of the burner or because of her glare was something of a mystery. "Convincing the supreme commander that it was a piloting necessity for the two of them go out…that Asuka is either the most brilliant of all the pilots, or the most arrogant."

Ritsuko was setting the table. Rei was in her room studying. She'd been there all day since she got home. "Still on about that? It's been over a month, Mother, let it go."

Naoko sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you act around the commander either, Ritsuko. You know how important her work is, and she's busy worried that she's offended you. Mind telling me _why_ you behave so impolitely around her?"

Ritsuko blushed, looking away. "I just…admire her, that's all."

Naoko leered. "You admire her more than your own Mother?"

Ritsuko flushed. "Well…you said yourself that she was your superior."

Naoko wrinkled her nose. "You could disagree with me just a little, dear."

Ritsuko sighed, smiling at the older Akagi. "Don't worry, Mother. At least we all know who the better cook is."

Naoko returned her attention to the stew boiling before her. "That I'll agree on. I've tasted that woman's food enough times to safely say she can't cook to save her life."

Ritsuko sighed. "She's not _that_ bad, Mother."

Naoko shrugged. "Oh, her cooking's edible, certainly, but she refuses to use any flavorings to spice things up a bit."

Ritsuko winked. "Like that time they let you cook for them?"

Naoko nodded. "Oh?"

Ritsuko smiled, recalling the memory. "Gendo turned red as a pepper when he tasted it! And poor Shinji…ran to the bathroom and stuck his head under the faucet. They had no idea you had decided to serve up your famous Tabasco and whisky rice!"

Naoko smiled. "That's supposed to be our little secret, dear!"

Ritsuko chuckled. "There's no one else around."

Naoko set the pot down on the table. "Speaking of which…Rei! Come to the table, Honey, dinner's ready."

Rei opened her door, sleepy eyed, making it to the table looking somewhat sullen.

"Rei?" Naoko asked as they sat down. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Rei shook her head. "It's nothing."

Ritsuko sipped the broth in her bowl cautiously. No hot sauce. They'd gotten off lucky. Not that Rei would have minded. The girl could palate a hill of fire ants.

"Rei," Naoko said, wisely. "It's when someone says that there's nothing going on when people really start to suspect something. Now why don't you tell me what's on your mind?"

Ritsuko scratched her nose, feeling like somebody's line just got stolen.

Rei bit her lip. "I just…don't feel good."

Naoko nodded. They had made sure that Rei was a safe distance away from NERV before initiating the induction process with the Fourth Angel, but maybe the added distance hadn't been enough. "Maybe you should lie down?"

Rei blinked. "I've been lying down since I got home. I only got up because you called me to dinner."

Naoko threw Ritsuko a dirty look as she chuckled in response. "Hush, you."

xxxxx

Shinji and Kensuke sighed as they each put down their plastic arcade guns as the screen in front of them flashed a Game Over. Behind them, Toji was sinking tiny basketballs into an even tinier hoop. Said Hoosier had been absent from school for the past few weeks, and Kensuke had invited everyone out to an arcade the weekend after he had returned.

"Well, I'm spent," Kensuke said, turning out his pockets. "You got any tokens left?"

Shinji shook his head. "That was my last one. I was hoping that with you on my team, we might have lasted longer."

Kensuke turned up his nose. "Well if someone hadn't kept shooting the civilians…"

Shinji cringed. "I can't help it! They just pop out on the screen, and I don't think, I just shoot!"

Kensuke rolled his eyes. "This is the guy who's supposed to be protecting the Earth?"

Shinji leered. "It's important for to stay sharp and not have to worry about civilians in combat. That's what the shelters are for."

Toji sunk his last ball in. "Well, that's it for me, fellas. I'm off."

Kensuke blinked. "What? Where are you going?"

Toji turned around. "To the hospital. My sister's been in there ever since the first angel battle."

Shinji, who had been sipping from a Styrofoam cup, dropped it, spilling its contents about the already sticky arcade floor. "Toji…"

Kensuke scratched his head. "Dude…why didn't you tell us about that? We would have…I dunno…written a get well card or something."

Shinji looked petrified. "Toji…you mean to say that…she was hurt in the first battle?"

Toji nodded, but did not make eye contact. "Yeah."

Shinji gulped, clenching his hand into a fist. "Oh my…Toji, I'm-"

"Don't apologize," Toji said, sternly. "It's not gonna solve anything and it wasn't your fault. It just happened, okay? I'm dealing with it. I don't…I don't need your sympathy."

Kensuke looked back and forth between Shinji and Toji as the latter made his way off into the evening sunset.

"Damn…" Kensuke muttered. "Just like Toji, always keeping things to himself. I swear…"

Shinji bit his lip. "I…I hurt his…"

Kensuke patted his friend on the back. "Hey, no sweat, Shinji. He's cool, I'm cool, you should be too."

Shinji shook his head. "I hurt her…"

Kensuke shook his head. "Don't make such a big deal out of, man."

Shinji wasn't listening. He kept thinking of a scared little girl. In his hands. His Eva's hands. Her soft skin, her naked flesh, the look of terror in her face. A scream emanated from her, as her clothes tore off her body, before his hands…his Eva's hands…

"She was…" Shinji breathed. "She was so scared…"

Kensuke blinked. "Shinji?"

Shinji shook his head and took off. "I gotta go!"

Kensuke looked strangely at him before waving. "Alright, man. Don't kill yourself."

Shinji didn't even hear it.

He ran.

xxxxx

A/N: Well, I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter. My preference is to write for character interactions, so I can safely say that I'm going to try to just have the characters simply mention as many Angel battles as I can. I'll include written descriptions of the important ones, but I don't like writing Angel battles.

I introduced a bit of tension between Shinji and Rei here, and not the good kind either. Here, we also see Gendo as being…human? Passionate, even? Toji and Kensuke stop being such minor roles, and we finally see Maya speak! And yes, she does have her same old crush on Ritsuko, just as Ritsuko has a crush on Yui. Yuri love triangle, anyone?

In case anyone's wondering about Ritsuko living with her mother at the age of thirty, well…they both work at NERV, and one assumes that Naoko invited Ritsuko to stay with her for as long as they worked together. Besides, with someone as important as Rei under the roof, having two adults present seems like an idea they'd feel safer with.

Read and review!

I'm out.


	4. Chapter Four

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

November 6th, 2015

"Shoot it!" Asuka screamed, as her shield gave way.

Using fifty-four perfect Eva replicas to confuse the Fifth Angel had seemed like a good idea. At the beginning of the battle, nineteen of each Eva unit had surrounded the Angel – only one of each was real. But the Angel had proven able to destroy all of the dummies long before the Evas could wear down its shields. And using two requisitioned NASA reentry shields had done little to stave off the barrage Ramiel could inflict.

"Almost…" Shinji gritted his teeth, taking aim with his positron rifle. It was the middle of the night, and they were taking on the Fifth Angel in the middle of the city. A drill was protruding from its base and digging its way into Central Dogma.

"What's taking you so long?" Asuka demanded. She and Rei were setting up a barricade with their two shields, protecting Shinji as he aimed his rifle at the Angel.

"We don't have enough power left for another shot after this!" Shinji yelled back. "We're using half the power of Japan as it is! I'm making sure this shot counts!"

Ramiel opened fire once more, this time fully piercing the requisitioned space shuttle shields.

Shinji cringed as he heard the girls cry out in pain as the blast hit them.

"Shinji…" Rei moaned.

"Now!" Shinji cried, his target locking on.

He fired his last volley, this time piercing the angel's shell.

"Rei! Asuka!" Shinji cried. "Tell me you're alright!"

"About time, Baka!" Asuka shouted. "You certainly took your sweet time! Jeez, it felt like my skin was melting off!"

"I'm sorry, Asuka," Shinji sighed. "If I hadn't locked on, it might have missed or glanced off. If that had happened, it would have just fired again."

Asuka just crossed her arms. "Hpmh!"

"Rei?" Shinji asked. "Are you alright?"

Rei caught her breath. "I am…uninjured…"

Shinji frowned. "I'm…I'm sorry, Rei…I'm sorry it hurt you."

Rei shook her head. "No, don't. I've gone through every possible outcome of this battle. In all scenarios, we would have each been damaged to an extent. Your actions minimalized such occurrences." She let him see one of her rare smiles. "Thank you."

Shinji nodded. "That's a relief."

Asuka growled. "Speaking of relief, do you mind picking us up here, Captain? I _really_ need to use the bathroom!"

"Just go in the entry plug," Misato laughed.

"Eww!" Asuka yelped. "I have to _breath_ this stuff!"

"It's yellow enough as it is," Misato chuckled. "You won't notice."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you, Captain?"

"More than you know."

Shinji just sighed.

xxxxx

November 7th, 2015

"Absolutely out of the question," Keel practically hollered in fury. "This board's decision is non-negotiable – and Ikari, if you even _think_ of stepping out early this time…"

Yui Ikari held her hands up, defensively. "Peace, Keel. I'm merely asking you to consider the possibilities. We've defeated three Angels so far, surely my request deserves at least some consideration."

The big headed SEELE board member tapped his fingers on the table. "And for what purpose, may we ask, do you _need_ 03 and 04? Your department has performed to standard with the units we have provided you."

"'To standard?'" Yui asked. "Just the other day, this department claimed that I had been performing sub par."

"Sub par," Keel said, sternly. "But acceptable. And imagine the added costs your facility would need with two additional Evangelions to maintain."

"Costs that you would spend just as readily under another facility's care," Yui reminded. "So you're saying that NERV, the corporation charged with the future of humanity, only requires sub par results in order to succeed?"

"What use would you have for the other two units, Ikari?" The long nosed board member asked, pointedly. "The Marduk Corporation has yet to locate the children for those units."

Yui smiled. "Now, now, sirs…I may be your underling, but who do you think I am? If you think I don't know the truth about the Marduk Corporation, then you're sadly mistaken. The children of Eva are handpicked…from a junior high school class where my own son attends."

Keel frowned. There was a vast silence over the board.

"My offer still stands, sirs," Yui said. "Turn over the charge of Units 03 and 04 to me, and you will be the first to know when I have any results from the Evangel project."

Keel glared. "Do not think you have any power over this committee, Ikari. We will find out what you are working on, one way or another. We will not permit you to keep secrets from us."

Yui nodded. "As you say, sir."

More silence.

"I take it that will be all?" Yui asked, standing.

Keel frowned deeply. "…Dismissed."

xxxxx

November 8th, 2015

Seated atop the roof of the school, Shinji, Rei, Asuka and Hikari picked at their meals. Shinji and Rei were sitting together, pondering the truths of the world, while Asuka and Hikari gossiped on more pedestrian issues.

"So, the school dance is coming up soon," Hikari offered. "Thinking about taking anyone, Asuka?"

The red head just huffed. "Like there's anyone in the entire school worth taking."

Hikari sighed. "Don't be like that. There ought to be someone."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Well, the only guy I might have taken is currently strung up with someone else."

Hikari nodded, looking at Shinji. He was blushing after some comment that obviously made him feel uncomfortable. This fact was heightened by Rei's look of utter confusion.

"There was this one guy I used to know…" Asuka smiled, thinking back. "Older, handsome, a total hunk. Way out of my league, though."

Hikari blinked. "That's the first time I've ever heard you imply that something was beyond your reach, Asuka."

Asuka shrugged. "Well, for one thing, the guy was, like, thirty. And second, he was my guardian, so…"

"Well, you can't have everything, Asuka," Hikari sighed. "You're the envy of most of the girls in this school. You pilot Eva, all the guys in the school want to date you, you're a college graduate-"

"The world loves me, the ground I walk on turns to gold, and I may grow up one day to find the cure for cancer," Asuka rolled her eyes. "If life's so wonderful, then what the heck is there left for me to shoot for?"

Hikari shrugged. "You've got to stop being so pessimistic."

Asuka shook her head. "Sorry, Hikari. Got too much to worry about." She took a sip of her soda. "So, what about you? Got any prospects for this dance?"

Hikari smiled, blushing. "Maybe one…"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Just tell me it's not Suzuhara…"

Hikari looked away. "Umm…"

Asuka gawked. "You're kidding! You'd settle for that dweeb? Hikari, have some self respect!"

Hikari frowned. "I know he seems…brash…and obnoxious…but he's got a sensitive side to him!"

Asuka took another sip of her drink. "Your choice, Hikari. I swear, this is what makes me different from everyone else! Shinji's interested in the albino and you're on about Dorkus Maximus! Why do you guys settle for so little?"

Hikari looked away. "Asuka…we're not settling for little. Love isn't about finding the perfect person…but finding an imperfect person and loving them anyway."

Asuka shook her head. "I'll never understand you."

Hikari frowned. "If you just try to _look_ at people, you won't always see them in such a bad light!"

Asuka sighed. "Nah…I'm convinced that maybe there's something better out there waiting…"

Hikari shrugged. "Your choice."

Asuka nodded, returning to her lunch. Eying the happy couple over her shoulder, she frowned.

"Now, if only one of us would think the same…"

xxxxx

Yui looked up as a knock came at her door. "Come in."

A man with a ponytail stepped in and bowed.

Yui stared hard at the figure before her. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

The man bowed again. "Special Agent Ryoji Kaji, ma'am. I'm here with a message from the First Branch."

Yui blinked. "A message? Why wouldn't they contact me in person."

Kaji handed her the manila envelope he was carrying. "Find out for yourself. In any case, I'll be working under you for the time being."

Yui opened the envelope suspiciously, eying the pamphlet inside. Scanning its contents, Yui's face turned into one of ire and then of rage. "This…this is impossible…"

Kaji recoiled as she hurled the pamphlet across the room, the paper billowing out in a flutter of beauracratic jargon.

"That miserable old _fool_!" she screamed, enraged. "This is an outrage! Who does he think is he _is_? He can't _do _this to us!"

Kaji gulped, knowing it was not in his best interests to antagonize her further - and was quite knowledgable of how often messangers returned home with bullets intended for the antagonists. "Um…technically, he can."

Yui fumed, crumbling the folder of the unfortunate letter into a ball. "Those old fossils! This is there doing, I know it!"

Kaji bowed again. "If that is all, then shall I keep my bags packed? From the looks of things, I'll be making the trip overseas again very soon."

Yui waved him off, totally irked. "Go on, get out."

Kaji obeyed, a wry smile on his face.

As soon as the door was closed, Yui picked up her phone. Moments later, Naoko and Gendo rushed into the room.

"Effective at ten hundred hours this Saturday, all three Evas, their respective pilots, as well as all other personnel, and any and all Angel specimens in our control are to be placed under the jurisdiction of the First Branch in Germany. Consequently, at such time, all of the above are to be transported to the First Branch."

Gendo gapped as his wife handed him the board decree. "How has this happened?"

Yui threw Naoko a terse look. "They're trying to get me under control."

Naoko nodded. "I told you antagonizing the board was a bad idea."

Gendo scanned the readout. "It says here that 'All personnel are to reassigned to the First Branch, whereupon command of the Eva's will be placed under High Commander Soryu's jurisdiction. Commander Yui Ikari, Sub Commander Gendo Ikari and Professor Naoko Akagi are to be placed under command of High Commander Soryu.' Are they merging our two branches? Who will be left to command the Third Branch?"

Yui steepled her hands together. "There won't be anyone. This division will become a dummy branch. The First Branch already has the Adam specimen, so the committee must already know that the Angels will find their way there. They'll want Lillith, as well as any other angel's we've salvaged."

"There's more," Gendo observed, reading on. "They…they also want us to select a candidate for the Fourth Child before our departure. This pilot is to be sent to the First Branch along with the staff of the Third Branch."

Yui nodded. "I know. They're making good on their deal. They already have the Fifth Child in Germany, so all they need one last candidate. They'll put Unit 03 and 04 under NERV's control, all right! Under that God blasted Commander Soryu! Those sneaky bastards!"

Naoko gritted her teeth. "What are we going to do?"

Yui, for all her knowledge and skills, could only shake her head. "They've given us most of the week. We're the smartest people on Earth, we'll figure something out."

Yui returned to her pensive position, lacing her fingers before her face. Not before long, her eyes opened, and a smile came to her face.

"Gendo, dear, would you leave the Professor and I alone for a few minutes?"

Gendo blinked, before nodding. "Alright, Yui…if that's part of your plan…"

Yui winked. "I know what I'm doing, dear. Trust me,"

Gendo nodded, turning away. "I do."

xxxxx

Shinji and Rei idled home, a comfortable silence falling between them.

"So…" Shinji offered. "The school dance is this weekend. You feel like going?"

Rei frowned. "I…I would, but…I don't know how to dance."

Shinji smiled. "Good, me neither."

Rei blinked. "I don't understand…"

Shinji sighed. "It's called a dance, but all it really is, is a bunch of students hanging out. Everyone will be dressed up, music will be playing…it'll be fun."

Rei considered.

"So how about it?" Shinji asked, diligently.

Rei smiled. "I like music."

Shinji smiled. "Then it's settled. Don't let your mom talk you out of it, okay?"

Rei nodded. "I don't even plan on notifying her of it. Though, I may require Ritsuko's help in finding appropriate attire."

Shinji smiled. "Okay then."

They idled on some more.

"So what's new with you?" Shinji shrugged.

Rei blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Shinji smiled. "Ever since I've known you, Rei, you've never really talked about yourself."

Rei blushed. "There is…not much to say…"

Shinji smiled. "Sure there is! I'm an idiot - I need you to point out all the minutia. All I notice are the obvious facts." He kissed her cheek. "Like how beautiful you are."

Rei blushed. "You…flatter me…"

Shinji eyed her, oddly. "Rei…have I ever lied to you about anything?"

Rei frowned. "No…no, you haven't."

Shinji smiled. "Then you know that when I say that you're beautiful, you know that I mean it."

Rei drew in her breath. "Shinji…?"

"Yes?"

"Be…be quiet for a moment…" Rei said, placing her arms around him from behind.

Shinji shuddered as he felt her body pressing against him. He wanted to tell her how much he enjoyed it, but she had instructed him to be silent, so he did so. He felt her kiss the back of his neck, before resting her head on his back.

"Can you…" Rei sighed. "Can you be happy…with this?"

Shinji looked back at her, verifying that he was allowed to speak.

"I couldn't ask for anything more."

Rei frowned. "Could you? Could you really, Shinji? In our entire relationship, you'll be satisfying with just hugging and kissing? Never will you desire to touch me elsewhere, to take me to your bed, or any such things that lovers do?"

Shinji bit his lip. "Well…I can't say I don't _want_ any of that. But…but if you really don't want any of that…well, I guess I can live without ever looking forward to anything deeper."

Shinji broke out of her grip and held her shoulders, staring into her pure red eyes. "If it's for you, Rei, I'll do anything. I thought you understood that by now."

Rei smiled, resting her head on his chest. "Oh, Shinji…"

Shinji sighed, already submitted to the fact. "So, is that what you're saying? That the idea of doing anything ecchi scares you?"

Rei hummed in reply. "I'm afraid I'll have to reply with one of my older excuses, Shinji: I am not saying the option does not lie ahead of us…but merely that it lies _ahead_, and not in the now. You must simply appreciate what we have now…"

Shinji sighed, happy with her reply. "Of course, Rei. Whatever you wish."

Rei sighed, burying her face into his chest. "…After all…" she said, barely above a whisper. "…We may end up…losing everything that's between us…"

Shinji choked up. "Baka…don't say things like that…"

Rei didn't reply. She simply held the boy she loved with every ounce of passion she could muster.

She found that it still wasn't enough to surrender her body to him.

xxxxx

Yui was just finishing up in her office when a call came from outside the complex.

"Doctor Akagi wishes to speak with you, ma'am," came the telephone secretary.

"Put her through," Yui said, organizing her papers.

There was a click and a pause.

"Um…Commander?" came Ritsuko's stuttering voice.

Yui sighed. "Yes, what is it, Ritsuko?"

"It's, um…" Ritsuko said, uneasily. "It's about Rei, ma'am."

Yui nodded, packing up. "Yes?"

"She's…well…" Ritsuko stammered. "She told me just a short while ago that she was planning on attending a school dance…with the Second Child."

Yui felt a cold sweat develop on her brow. "What did you say?"

"She…asked me if I would help her pick out a dress…" Ritsuko admitted. "She also requested that I not tell mo…Professor Akagi, so I decided that I wouldn't betray her trust by telling you…"

Yui smiled. "No, you did the right thing, Ritsuko. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll grill Shinji when I get home."

An audible gulp sounded from Ritsuko line. "Don't…don't let her know that I let this get out."

Yui nodded, putting on her coat. "Not to worry, Ritsuko…you're far too valuable of an informant to be revealed just yet. Your involvement will not be known."

Ritsuko thanked the commander several times, before Yui hung up the phone. Sighing, he rubbed her temples.

"I _cannot_ deal with this now…"

xxxxx

A/N: I know, another chapter where a whole lot happens on the sidelines, and nothing really gets done where it matters. Sorry, but I promise, the next chapter will be more eventful.

Read and review!


	5. Chapter Five

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

November 10th, 2015

It was Friday, the day of the dance, and Rei was in her room, eying her reflection. She had on shiny blue dress. Ritsuko had taken her shopping the day before and bought it for her. Though she honestly could not see its practical use, Rei had to agree that it was aesthetically pleasing.

"I will go to the dance with Shinji," she told herself. "It will be…enjoyable."

The prospect of the experience loomed over her head, causing her to sweat, nervously. She bit her lip, tasting the oily lipstick Ritsuko had provided for her. Already, her eyes stung from the liner Ritsuko had spent diligent time assisting her with.

Staring at her reflection, Rei couldn't help but smile. While it had been arduous to prepare, she had to admit the result was pleasing.

Rei had never before felt very much kinship towards the faux blonde who lived with her and Naoko. Before, she had simply been Doctor Akagi, an aide for her mother as she worked at NERV. These past few days, she had become so much more to her.

Rei had been astonished that Ritsuko had agreed to keep the dance a secret from Naoko. This, more than anything, had convinced Rei that she could trust the woman she knew as Sister.

A knock sounded at her door. "Rei?"

It was Ritsuko.

"Yes?" Rei replied, tearing herself away from the mirror.

"It's, uh…Mother's on the phone," Ritsuko said, apologetically. "She wishes to speak with you."

Rei suppressed a nervous stutter as she opened the door and accepted the phone from Ritsuko.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Rei," Ritsuko commented, before turning to go.

Rei nodded, closing the door, putting the phone to her ear.

"Mother?" she asked into the receiver.

"Rei," Naoko replied. "You will not go the dance tonight."

Rei felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. "…What?"

"Did you not hear me?" Naoko's voice sounded bitterly in her ear. "You are not to go to this dance tonight. I'm very disappointed that you would try to keep something like this a secret from your own Mother."

Rei found herself at a loss for words. "Mother…I…"

"Consider yourself grounded for the evening," Naoko spouted. "We all need to get up bright an early tomorrow for the trip to Germany anyway."

Rei felt a tear trickle down her face. "…Yes ma'am."

"Never try to pull the wool over my eyes again, Rei," Naoko said, coldly. "Good evening."

Rei sat down on her bed as the line went dead, her hand falling to her side, the phone tumbling from its grip. More tears followed, as he hands came up to hide her face in sorrow and shame.

Behind her door, Ritsuko frowned, biting her lip.

"Forgive me…" she whispered, before walking away.

xxxxx

"Well, you certainly look spiffed up," Kensuke laughed, eying Shinji through his camera as he meandered around the jury-rigged school gym.

Shinji smiled. "Sorry. It was all I could come up with on such short notice. Where's Toji?"

Kensuke leered. "He and Hikari disappeared a while back. Lord knows what they're doing."

Shinji shook his head. "Give them some privacy, Kensuke."

Kensuke frowned, his camera prepped and ready. "Aww…"

Across the room, Asuka entered the gym. She wore the same red dress that she wore to her dinner date with Shinji once upon a time. Throwing a group of eye-wandering boys a killer glare, she made her way across the gym, until she found Shinji.

"Hey, Shinji," she smiled, friendly. "Where's Rei?"

Shinji smiled, shrugging. "She hasn't shown up yet."

Asuka sighed, eying the boy. "Don't let it get you down, Shinji. She'll show up eventually. And even if she doesn't…" she wrapped her arms around him. "…You have _me _to keep you company."

Shinji blushed. "Hey! Cut it out!"

xxxxx

Yui threw what things she still kept at home into a cheap suitcase. She had never been a woman who cared for fancy clothes or jewelry, and never wore much makeup. She was, first and foremost, a woman of science, and never saw the point of doing anything if it served no practical purpose. This trait, it seemed, had been passed on to Rei.

She finished packing and stared at her empty room, sighing. Dark circles lay beneath her eyes; she and Naoko had spent the last forty-eight hours or so coming up with a plan for how to salvage what they could from the Evangel project, before everything went down.

She heard the sound of a phone ringing. She glanced at the phone out in the kitchen. It was silent.

Another ring. It was coming from Shinji's room.

Entering, she saw that her son's room had been likewise emptied and packed up, and ready for Shinji's trip across the world. On his dresser, his cell phone lit up, sounding out a call.

Yui picked it up, looking at the face. All it read was "Rei Ayanami Cell."

Yui frowned, turning the phone off with a click.

"I'm sorry, Shinji…"

Yui imagined elsewhere, a girl bearing her resemblance was voicing a similar cry.

xxxxx

It was dark outside the school, and the stars were clear and bright as gemstones. Atop the roof, a tuxedo clad Toji stared out at the city. Hikari, dressed in a green dress, stood behind him, waiting for him to tell her what had been bothering him for the past few days.

"Hikari," he said, using her first name. "You…you know about my sister, right?"

Hikari nodded, yes.

Toji bit his lip. "I…some people from NERV…came to me the other day. They said they would put Mari in the best hospital they could find. In return…they wanted me to pilot."

Hikari stifled a gasp. She didn't ask _what_ he was asked to pilot; it was too obvious.

"They're…" Toji sighed. "They're sending all the pilots to Germany tomorrow. I'm going to have to go with them." Turning around, he stared into Hikari's purebred Japanese eyes. "What I mean to say is…well…I won't be able to see you for a while."

Hikari nodded, weakly, understanding.

"I'll…" Toji muttered, looking away. "I'll understand if you don't want to go out because of this…I can't expect you to keep this up over such a long distance, but-"

Toji musings were cut short when Hikari suddenly rushed to him, throwing her arms around him, clutching his body as thought it were something previous.

Toji stared hard at the girl before him, slowly putting his arms around her, allowing himself to feel the warm touch he might never feel again.

"Please," Hikari sighed, parting from him, tears in her eyes. "Please stay safe…Toji…"

Toji nodded, smiling. "I will, Hikari…I will…"

xxxxx

Shinji and Kensuke were lounging off to the side of the gym. Everyone else was either on the dance floor, or had already gone.

Asuka showed up, giggling at some forgotten joke. Shinji didn't miss the pale red glow in her cheeks.

"What's the matter, Shinji?" she sighed. "You get stood up?"

Shinji shrugged. "Well…I'm sure Rei has a good reason. I just wish I could get in touch with her, but on one has a cell phone and I don't have money for a pay…"

Shinji was cut short when Asuka grabbed him by the arm and dragged him onto the dance floor. He protested weakly, as Asuka wrapped his arms around her front, positioning her body against his. "Asuka, what are you doing?"

"Come on, Shinji!" she huffed. "You're miserable, and lord knows I need a load off! For God's sake, live it up a little!"

Shinji gulped as Asuka began to grind against him, agitating him severely.

"What are you…?" Shinji gawked, gaping at her. "Asuka, are you _drunk_?"

Asuka winked, hiccupping. "Yeah, I think someone spiked the punch. So what? More fun for us!"

Shinji tried tugging his arms free, as he felt himself heat up, but Asuka refused to let him go. "Asuka, quit that!"

Asuka continued grinding her butt against him. "Why? You're enjoying it – I can tell you are."

Shinji clenched his teeth, unable to convince certain parts of himself not to go along with Asuka's ministrations. Every time he tried wrenching his hands free, it just ground her harder into his swelling heat.

Sweating profusely, Shinji clenched his eyes. "Asuka, cut it _out_!"

Asuka pouted, still moving with the music. "No. I've held back for too long! It's about time I showed you just what you're missing, Second Child!"

Shinji bit his lip. Unbidden, a million images appeared in his mind. Rei was absent for the evening. He and Asuka had the entire night to themselves. As frisky as she was, Asuka would likely do anything with him. Rei wouldn't even have to know. He could satisfy his hunger, and he wouldn't have to hurt the girl he truly cared for…

Shinji finally yanked his hands free, pushing Asuka to the ground. "Get _off_ me!"

The crowd backed away as Asuka stumbled. Clumsy and tipsy from the rum in the punch, she shook weakly on the ground. Turning an icy stare up at Shinji, she began to cry. "You…what right do you have to reject me?"

Shinji looked away, enraged and confused.

"Answer me!" Asuka screamed, stumbling to her feet. "Your little albino nun has left you high and dry! What do you owe _her_, anyway? I'm ready do give you _anything_, Shinji! Why do you keep pushing me away!"

Shinji breathing, wiping a band of sweat from his brow. Shaking his head, clearing his mind, he turned to leave. "Go home, Asuka…"

Asuka gaped. "What…what did you just say?"

"You're drunk, tired and angry," Shinji glared. "This is…this is _beneath_ you! The Asuka I know would _never_ beg for a little action! Now pull yourself together!"

Asuka stared, blankly, a mixture of fury and self doubt plastered to her whirling conscious.

Hikari and Toji had come down from the roof, and were staring at the scene before them.

"Horaki," Shinji asked, gently. "Would you mind taking Asuka home? She's a bit under the whether."

Hikari nodded without hesitating, rushing to her friend's aid. Wrapping her arm around her, they slowly made their way towards the exit.

"Jeez," Toji commented, stepping over the Shinji as the crowds resumed their dancing. "What happened here?"

Shinji shrugged. "Asuka got a little crazy."

Toji rolled his eyes. "I thought she already was."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah…" He paused. "So, you're the Fourth Child, huh?"

Toji eyed him, curious. "Who told you?"

Shinji shrugged. "Captain Katsuragi. I guess you'll meet her tomorrow. Came as quite a shock."

Toji nodded. "Yeah, me too. Man, I'm gonna miss this city."

Shinji shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, it's not the greatest, but at least everyone speaks Japanese. We're gonna have to learn German pretty soon if we want to make it around the First Branch."

Toji placed a hand over his face. "Oh, right. Damn it, I suck at foreign languages!"

Shinji smiled. "Don't worry. It's easier when you're immersed."

Toji shivered. "Yeah… Man, I'm just so nervous about piloting, though!."

Shinji nodded. "Piloting by itself isn't so hard. Fighting the Angels is the real nightmare. And anyway, you're still a rookie, so they won't put you in combat just yet."

Toji nodded. "I hope not."

On the eve of the crossroads of destiny, the two boys shared their last moment as classmates, before they would forever be comrades.

xxxxx

November 13th, 2015

Yui and Naoko surveyed the waters of the Indian Ocean. Aboard the UN battleship "Over The Rainbow," the Commander and Chief Scientist of the Third Branch stood, prepared to face the necessary outcome. They planned it out, timed it perfectly, and worked out every little detail.

Yui and Naoko were stationed on the carrier that was transporting the third, fourth, and fifth angel in cold storage, in case there was a breakout. All three children, Gendo, Ritsuko, and the rest of the Third Branch personnel, as well as the cross bearing Lillith were on a second carrier. And finally, Units 00, 01, and 02 were each on their respective carriers.

"Any minute now," Yui mused, staring off into the afternoon sun. "Lillith is as much of a lure as Adam."

Naoko sighed. "Commander, are you absolutely sure you want to do this? To make this kind of sacrifice…"

Yui smiled. "It's for the best, my friend. After the world has been saved, I will trust it to you, Naoko. Take good care of it for me. And give the children my blessing."

Naoko sighed, ceding the point. "I just hope Gendo will be able to pick up the slack."

Yui smiled. "He's stronger than you know."

Moments later, the attack came.

xxxxx

As they were boarding this morning, Shinji had finally gotten in contact with Rei. Apparently, Professor Akagi had found her out. He should have suspected it wouldn't be so easy to keep a secret like that, not from NERV personnel.

"I really missed you, Rei," he had said, smiling weakly. "The dance just wasn't enjoyable with you gone."

Rei had blushed, lowering her eyes.

Asuka hadn't so much as looked at him since departing. Whether out of shame or embarrassment, Shinji didn't feel like prying. Giving her space was easy enough to do. All the more room for her to vent her frustration on Toji.

"My hat!" he screamed, chasing it down the deck.

The rest was history.

"I've never been to Germany before," Shinji commented, leaning against the railing. "Matter of fact, I've never really been anywhere outside Japan."

Rei nodded. "Neither have I. It will be…interesting…"

They were distracted when a plume of water that destroyed, ironically, one of the destroyers.

"What was that?" Shinji yelped, turning his gaze to the sinking ship.

Five seconds later, another explosion hit, this time, destroying one of the battleships.

"It must be an angel!" Rei nodded, turning to run towards the bridge.

Shinji followed. "All the way out here? This is bad! We've got to get to our Evas!"

Rei nodded. "Our best bet is to await orders from the Captain at the bridge. We will likely be lifted by VTOL."

Another explosion rocked the waters.

"That's assuming we survive to make it!" Shinji yelped.

Asuka and Toji were making similar tracks. Despite the emergency, Shinji couldn't help but notice to red handprints on his face.

They made it to the bridge just in time to hear Misato's voice over the intercom.

"Pilots located!" the captain of the carrier yammered into the console.

Gendo and Ritsuko were there, looks of alarm on their faces.

"Shinji…pilots…" Gendo nodded. "We have to get you to your Evas immediately!"

Shinji nodded, throwing Rei and Asuka a look.

"Sir!" came a shout from one of the deck crew. "We've got a bogey coming in at three o'clock!"

All eyes turned to the sky as a black winged aircraft made itself known. It dipped low, nearly touching the water. A smooth, silver entity slid from the rear of the ship, before releasing, flipping in the air, and dropped into the water.

No one on the carrier dared move, as they scanned the water for any sign of activity. Suddenly, the Angel surfaced, launching straight up, much akin to a humpback whale breaching the surface. Clinging to its back, hanging on a progressive knife lodged in the beast's hide, was the silver figure.

"It's an Eva!" Shinji cried, recognizing the bio-mech for what it was.

Rei nodded. "It would appear the First Branch has anticipated this attack and have sent their Evangelion in response."

Toji looked in awe. "Whoa…that is _so_ cool…"

Somewhat jealous, Asuka gaped as well. "What kind of piloting skills does this kid have?"

The Angel surfaced several times, trying to dislodge the Evangelion from its back. Finally, the silver Eva flew off, arcing in the air, before landing on one of the carriers, knife still in hand. Before long, the Angel practically beached itself on the carrier.

Astonishingly, the Eva held it off. Using its knife, it cut a trail along its mouth, slicing a long streak along its body. The Angel let out a brutish cry as the Eva sliced its way into the Angel's hide. It must have discovered the Angel's core, because seconds later, the Angel exploded.

Along with the carrier.

"YUI!"

"COMMANDER!"

Shinji stared up at Ritsuko and his father. Both had looks of inexplicable horror on their faces. It took a few seconds for it to dawn on Shinji.

"Oh my God…" Shinji rushed down the gangplank, getting as close to the wreckage as the ship would allow. "MOM!"

Ritsuko had collapsed. Gendo had all but done the same. "Yui…no! _This_ was your plan all along? To bury all traces of the Evangel project?"

"Commander…" Ritsuko sobbed.

Rei watched, stricken, as Shinji collapsed in a heap, hands braced against the railing. "Mom…no…please be alright…please be alright…"

Rei wrapped her arms around the boy. She didn't cry, but she felt a distinct urge to comfort him, even when she knew the facts. "She is alive, Shinji…you must believe that she is still alive."

Shinji wasn't really listening. All he wanted to do was cry, clutching the girl he cared for tightly.

He couldn't believe it! All the time he had regarded her in a poor light, all the times she had meddled in his relationship with Rei seemed trivial and nonexistent. His mother was _dead_! Yui Ikari was dead.

"She's…" Shinji sniffed. "She's gone…"

Asuka and Toji stared sadly at the boy as he crippled under the weight of the inevitable truth. Gendo had crumpled to a chair, head hung with grief in his hands. Ritsuko was begging with the crew to know if there were any survivors.

There were none to be found.

Launched by the ensuing explosion, Unit 04 had landed on one of the remaining carriers. The entry plug slid out the back of the silver Eva, and a gray haired pilot emerged.

The captain of the carrier approached him with a salute. "You've saved our fleet, son. I'd like to extend my most sincere gratitude, pilot…"

"Nagisa," the boy said, softly. "Kaworu Nagisa."

xxxxx

Wow, three chapters in as many days. That's a new record! Oh well, I was really looking forward to writing this chapter and the chapters that followed, so...

Yes, it's Kaworu. My favorite character. Adding him to the story should add an interesting twist. One of my reviewers recommended pairing him with Asuka. Though, I'm a fan of this pairing, to this I have to reply: "No, no, no…that's FAR too easy…"

Too tired to write more.


	6. Chapter Six

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

xxxxx

November 13th, 2015

The average aircraft carrier requires a crew of about fifteen hundred. That number had been lessened due to the space required for the Angel cadavers, but still, it was great loss for the United Nation navy fleet. For NERV, the loss of its commander and top two scientists was immeasurable. As soon as the fleet set sail, a full barrage was fired off in salute to the lives lost during that battle.

It was after the twelve-gun salute when a disgruntled Asuka and Toji sat through the introductions of their newest recruit.

"My name is Kaworu Nagisa," the gray-hared boy said, acting as though nothing was amiss. "I look forward to working together in the future."

Asuka and Toji, drained in light of recent events, just grumbled their introductions, silently belligerent of the grinning child.

Shinji was understandably absent, having retired to his quarters for an indefinite period of time. Rei was with him, despite the fact that protocol insisted that she be present for the new recruit's introduction. Meeting the Fifth Child came secondary to comforting the one she loved.

Gendo and Ritsuko had similarly disappeared to grieve.

How does one deal with the sudden, completely unanticipated death of a loved one amidst a military situation? Shinji was supposed to be a soldier, but he couldn't recall in his entire life feeling more completely lost. The loss of that universal truth – that his mother would be there for him should anything go wrong. Now, no such assurance existed. Now, he was on his own.

Rei finally managed to convince the distraught youngster to emerge from his room, if at least, to hear the truth himself. He had not even waited for the search party to turn up anything. Which was nothing, as it were.

Rei guided Shinji out of his room, his face sunken, depleted, and not really paying attention to anything. She shut the door behind them and led the boy across the deck towards the bridge, before running, quite unexpectedly, into the boy they had neglected to meet.

"Oh," the boy intoned. "You must the Shinji Ikari. I'm Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child."

Shinji was struck by a swell of unfamiliar energy, which lifted his head to face the gray-haired boy. The energy caused a seething of emotion that forced his brow to furrow and allowed his voice to return to his throat.

"You…"

Kaworu sighed, bowing his head. "I heard about what happened to the Commander, and would like to extend my most sincere apologies. I was acting under orders, you understand? Destroying the Angels is our first priority. We try to avoid casualties, but you must comprehend that they cannot be evaded entirely. Your friend Suzuhara has confirmed this."

Hearing Kaworu mention Toji's sister, it was all Shinji could do not to punch the guy where he stood. How could what he did be compared to Shinji's past mistake? Shinji hated, even more, the fact that he couldn't deny that whatever actions he had performed that had resulted in Mari's injury were the same as Kaworu's had his mother's death.

"And you," Kaworu smiled, taking Rei's hand and kissing it, "Must be Rei Ayanami. I have been most anxious to meet you. The most graceful and talented of all the Eva pilots. You are legend where I come from, Ayanami – please, may I call you Rei?"

Rei was taken aback, the sudden flood of tempestuous flattery suddenly made her heart flutter. "Why…yes…" She practically swooned. She found herself unable to take his eyes off of him. He was…striking! The way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he acted…he was like a creature born of dreams!

Shinji, for his part, nearly lost it right then and there. This guy actually had the nerve to put the moves on his girlfriend within the same hour that he inadvertently killed his mother.

To his credit, Shinji held back his fist. But not his tongue.

"I haven't forgiven you," Shinji bit, stepping past the Fifth Child. "And that's my girlfriend you're kissing."

Kaworu nodded to him, bowing again. "I envy you, Ikari Shinji. To be so close with such an Angel…"

Shinji nodded, his eyes bitter and cold. "Don't cross me, Fifth Child. I don't quite trust you yet."

Kaworu nodded, apologetically. "I understand. I hope to someday be forgiven for my crimes, Ikari Shinji. Until then, at least know that I shall not fail you in combat."

Shinji turned a cold shoulder. "Yeah…you've proven that much already…"

Kaworu watched as the boy turned to go. Rei hesitated, biting her lip, throwing one last look in Kaworu's direction, before taking off after Shinji.

"Was that truly necessary?" Rei asked, once they were out of earshot.

Shinji didn't respond; he merely plowed forward.

"Shinji," Rei pressed. "There was no need to be so rude to him."

Shinji threw the girl a glance. "Number two on your list, Rei?"

Rei blinked. "Excuse me?"

Shinji looked back ahead. "My father being the first?"

Rei bit her lip, understanding what he was suggesting. Of course, how could she not have realized it? She had been a fool not to see for herself that simply allowing her reactions to the new boy be visible would imply.

"He is…" Rei swallowed, uneasily. "Flirtatious, as you have seen."

"It's not just his behavior that bothers me," Shinji snorted.

Rei frowned. "I…admit, I find him attractive," she said, dignified.

"I'd go as far as to say the feeling was mutual," Shinji shot back.

"So what if it is?" Rei asked. "You can trust me, Shinji. I would never betray you. And I've never mistrusted _your_ actions."

"Haven't you?" Shinji countered. "How many times did you question my loyalty whenever Asuka was around? Even after I was so sure things were settled between us, all she'd have to do was touch me, and you'd get all defensive. You mean to call that trust?"

Rei frowned, wallowing in self-doubt. "I…I cannot help how I feel, Shinji."

Shinji shrugged. "Of course you can't – none of us can. But you can help how you act. And I don't act inappropriately around Asuka."

Rei looked irked. "All I did was allow him to use my first name. Is that so inappropriate?"

Shinji sighed. "I guess not. With all his flirting, I guess I didn't realize that you really didn't _do_ anything. Sorry…"

Rei nodded. "Though, you are correct in that I do feel somewhat touched by his words."

Shinji closed his eyes and stopped walking. "Rei?"

She stopped. "Yes?"

"You know I'd never dream of tying you down with obligations," Shinji sighed. "If ever I needed something from you…more than any sort of consummation…it's for you to be true to me. I need you, Rei, now more than ever." His eyes came up, bloodshot and full of tears. "My mother is _dead_, Rei! She's dead! You're the only one I have, now! I _need_ you, Rei! I _need_ you!"

Rei suppressed a gasp as Shinji clutched her, desperately, as he exploded in a shower of tears, crying into her bosom like the lost child he was. She caressed his hair, feeling her feelings for him well up tears of her own, which dripped down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Shinji," she cried for him. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

The two lonely souls cried for each other as their boat carried them across an ocean of sorrow…

…Towards a land of eternal fire.

xxxxx

"Well…" Kaji sighed, put off by the air of depression about the cabin. "This has certainly been an eventful day."

Misato threw him a tiresome look. "Lay off, Kaji. This whole situation's gotten everybody down. Both Shinji's and Ritsuko's mother…the two of them must be beside themselves! And Sub-Commander Ikari couldn't be any better off. Not to mention every Angel specimen apart from Lilith _and_ the Lance of Longinus is too! The First Branch is not going to be happy with this."

Kaji smiled. "But at least you've got another pilot added to your roster – and a damn good one, too! Did you see the way he fought? Plus, his Eva has an S2 engine."

Misato suppressed a surprise gasp. "They've actually perfected that?"

Kaji nodded, arrogantly. "The First Branch is way ahead of the Third by a significant margin. High Commander Soryu is a decorated General from the Post Impact War. And Professor Soryu, his wife, is almost as acclaimed as Yui."

Misato stared her former lover in the eyes. "Then why have the Angels been attacking the _Third_ Branch in Tokyo-3?"

Kaji smirked. "Ah-ah-ah…that's all the free info I'm giving out today, sweetie. Anything else is gonna cost you."

Misato didn't inquire as to what currency Kaji was accepting, and made haste to get scarce before such knowledge could be divulged.

xxxxx

November 18th, 2015

After passing through the Suez Canal and arriving in Triest-2 in what was left of Italy, the Third Branch personnel were transported straight to NERV Headquarters, just a few miles south of Berlin. Having put unspeakable UN funds into creating an artificial Geo-Front, their headquarters lay stationed at the bottom of a deep cavern a third the size of the original Geo-Front.

Misato frowned as they made their journey downward. "What a strategic nightmare! At least Japan is surrounded by water! Here, an Angel would traipse through miles of populated land before reaching any militarized zones."

Kaji just smirked. "You really haven't been keeping up with the rest of the world, have you Katsuragi? In case you haven't noticed, all of Europe has _become_ a militarized zone. Every major city is equipped with shelters, and all national landmarks, like museums, the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, even the Venice monument are all setup on escape ramps to be locked away into gross safety storage in the event of an attack."

During the Second Impact, Venice had been, of course, one of the first cities to bite the dust in the ensuing flood. A monument had been established to commemorate its existence, as had most of the golden coastal cities, like New York, San Francisco, Hong Kong, and Sydney Australia.

"Now, look at the strategic advantages," Kaji went on. "You've got a thousand squares miles over which to intercept an attack, where as in Japan, you wouldn't know there was an Angel attack until it hit the shores, a stones throw away from Tokyo-3."

Misato huffed, not one to enjoy being wrong. "Do you ever get tired of being right?"

Kaji sighed. "Nope."

xxxxx

Gendo Ikari, crestfallen and stoic, stood before High Commander Soryu in his office, an extravagant display of ornate prestige and power: green carpeting, a golden chandelier, a mahogany desk, and a giant tank swimming with black-tipped reef sharks dominating the left wall. Kaji stood against the window overlooking the artificial Geo-Front behind the Commander, awaiting further instruction.

"Sub-Commander Ikari," Commander Ryota Soryu said. "I must offer you my deepest condolences. Yui Ikari was an outstanding commander and a brilliant scientist. She will be missed by all."

Gendo didn't bother nodding. "There will be a funeral ceremony held in Tokyo-3 this Saturday…"

"Yes, you and your son, as well as anyone from the First Branch with an emotional attachment will be granted leave of course," Commander Soryu nodded.

"Thank you," Ikari voiced. "And thank you also for lending your pilot's aid in our most recent Angel battle. Although I can't say the same for your…taste in liaisons…" Gendo threw Kaji a mistrusting look.

Kaji just laughed and shrugged.

"The liaison is a courtesy, I'm afraid you'll have to make due," Soryu chuckled. "Now, about the lost Lance and the Angel subjects…"

Gendo let his anger show through his mirror spectacles. "Sir, with all due respect, _your_ pilot was partly responsible for their destruction."

Commander Soryu returned the glare. "I'm going to ignore your insubordinate remarks in light of you loss, _Sub-Commander_. However, I will point out that you, yourself, have witnessed firsthand three Angel battles prior to this last one. You should know more than anyone how haphazard they are. The fact that my pilot was forced to sacrifice an entire ship full of good and honest men and women…comes second to destroying the Angel."

Gendo inclined his head.

"I am curious about one point," the Commander added. "Almost immediately after the Angel's destruction, a team of our best researchers arrived in search of any remnants of the Angel specimens at the bottom of the ocean. Remains of the ship were discovered, but neither the Angels themselves nor the Lance of Longinus were found."

Gendo shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't have any useful input on the matter. I would point out that the ocean is a vast expanse, and I would not have expected a successful recovery so soon after the fact."

Commander Soryu nodded, satisfied. "Very well. Mister Kaji, please show Sub Commander Ikari out and ensure that his accommodations are representative of the quality here at the First Branch."

Kaji saluted, stepping out in front of the desk. "Yes sir."

The Commander nodded. "I hope this setback does not hinder our work here, Sub-Commander."

Gendo didn't reply.

xxxxx

"I'm terribly sorry about your loss, Commander," Kaji intoned as he and Gendo perused the hallways.

"Save your sympathy, Mister Kaji," Gendo snorted. "I've heard more sincerity from the committee."

"Ouch," Kaji replied. "You know, all this could have been avoided if your wife simply hadn't tangled with them."

Gendo kept his gaze sternly ahead, his face masking the pain of mentioning her. "Yui…was a woman of her own means. I warned her to tread lightly, but she rarely listened to me."

Kaji sighed. "I guess it's pretty clear who wore the pants in that relationship."

"Do I have to have you killed, Mister Kaji?" Gendo glared.

Kaji held up his hands. "Okay, okay, I'll mind my own business."

"I highly doubt that," Gendo frowned. "Espionage, sabotage, forgery…your reputation precedes you."

"I'm honored," Kaji joked.

Gendo stopped walking. "Kaji…you're on the inside…is there _any_ chance, whatsoever, that Yui might still be alive?"

Kaji frowned. "Ikari…you heard the Commander. They searched every cubic inch of water after the battle. SEELE itself oversaw the recovery. They found nothing, Ikari. Which is exactly what was there. Nothing."

The elder Ikari lowered his eyes. "I see…"

xxxxx

Ritsuko stood, uneasily, in front of the current leading scientist in the entire facility.

"My, how you've grown," Professor Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu commented, removing a pair of goggles as she entered the lab area. She untied her bun and her dark red hair fell loosely down her back. "I remember working together with your mother when you were just a toddler. I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about your mother, dear, I truly am. She and I worked closely together on the MAGI. I was deeply saddened when I heard the news, but just the same, it's good to see you hear, Doctor."

Ritsuko sniffed, still eternally bitter. "Yes. M…Mother…always spoke well of you. It is an honor…to finally meet you, Professor."

Kyoko nodded, sighing. "Intel tells me your mother and the Commander were working on some secret project with the Angel specimens. Could you tell me anything about that?"

Ritsuko shook her head. "I'm sorry. They never included me in that. I know it involved the Lance of Longinus, but that's all I knew."

Kyoko nodded, picking up a clipboard. "I see. In that case, follow me. I'll get you acquainted with the system here. It's very much like the one your familiar with back in Tokyo-3. There are just a few differences to familiarize with."

As Ritsuko stared about her, her mind wandered into a lethargic state of turmoil. She had not only lost her mother, but her most idolized role model. She had been confused enough _before_ Yui had perished, now her feelings were forever unknown, even to her.

And her mother…

Ritsuko suppressed a sniff.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," Kyoko said. "I forgot how much you've been through. Perhaps we should continue this tomorrow?"

Ritsuko wanted desperately to take her up on that offer. But she could imagine Yui and her mother protesting, saying that she shouldn't delay, even for a day.

Steeling herself, she continued with the tour.

xxxxx

All five pilots were waiting in a briefing room. Shinji had receded within the confines of his headphones. Rei didn't want to disturb him, so she bided her time listening to Kaworu, who divided his topic matter between the merits the city and facility had to offer, and his feelings of respect and admiration towards her.

Asuka snorted, with nothing better to do than to stare at the wall while Toji fiddled with a yo-yo he had brought along.

"So…you and Hikari, huh?" Asuka groaned.

Toji, amidst in a baby-in-the-cradle maneuver, glanced up. "Yeah?"

Asuka blew a stray strand of hair. "That's my friend you're dating. You better not hurt her feelings, stooge. That means no ogling the local girls. Got it?"

Toji grunted. "Please. Some of us actually _possess_ a smidgen of class. Besides, if you're any indication, the local girls won't pose much of a threat."

Asuka performed an act that could only be described as seizing the boy's hitherto unfortunate yo-yo and stuffing it into his mouth. "Shove it!"

Rei had thought that Kaworu's advances were hidden from Shinji, when in fact, his SDAT was not even on; he heard every word.

The voyage during the remainder of the trip had been loathsome and discomforting enough. Who this jerk thought he was, Shinji had no idea. Were all pilots raised in Germany such arrogant bastards?

Compliment after compliment, sweet nothing after sweet nothing, Shinji seethed as Kaworu laid on endless amounts of fluff. Finally, he opened his eyes and threw Rei an unmistakable look. Rei blinked, nodding, and turned to Kaworu, asking him to stop.

Kaworu cast a glance in Shinji's direction. "Very well, Rei."

Misato finally arrived. She had been attending an overview of the facilities command stations and combat procedures. It had been agreed that she would take command of operations, since she had more experience, knew most of the pilots personally, and spoke their pilots' native language more fluently than the current German Operations Director.

"Damn it," Misato seethed, going over a mess of paperwork in her hands. "So much stuff to overview and memorize! So many different operational procedures! So much work, just because they felt like moving us! Who the hell makes these decisions?" Clearing her throat, Misato faced the pilots. "Well guys, it's been a rough trip. You've all seen the facilities, you know your way in and out, and you've all seen the spots where you'll all be residing. I've got nothing more to say, and I think we all need a decent night's rest. Get some sleep, rest easy. I'll see you all in the morning."

One by one, the pilots began to file out of the room.

Misato placed a hand on Shinji's shoulder before he left. "You're gonna get through this Shinji," she encouraged. "I promise you."

Shinji stared back, hard at his Operations Director. A look of fierce determination pierced through his once tired, bedraggled personality.

"No, Misato," he said, using her first name for the first time. "I promise _you_…"

xxxxx

Yes! Four chapters in a week! This has gotta be my best time yet! Damn, but am I tired!

This is the chapter I had been hoping to write since beginning this second book. After this, I'm somewhat short on proceedings, though I've got a few scene worked out and a basic idea of the plot insofar.

Look forward for more!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva. Eva, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty solid ownership over me…

A/N: Okay, I figured everyone knew about Kaworu's real name, but I guess I was wrong. "Kaoru" is a real Japanese name used by both men and women to mean "scent." "Kaworu" is a different spelling of this name. For one thing, the "o" is actually replaced by the Japanese "wo," which, incidentally, sounds _exactly_ like "o." But it _is_ different, and it does matter.

And for those of you who don't think it's his real name, watch the show again. The subs might say "Kaoru," the back cover blurb might say "Kaoru," but when he's in his test plug, it says "Kaworu Nagisa" in glowing letters right by his face.

xxxxx

December 2nd, 2015

"Okay, Toji, just like you did in practice," Ritsuko guided the young man through his training. "Target the center and pull the switch."

Toji fumbled with his controls, uneasy at best. The black mech moved unsteadily under his command.

"This stupid system doesn't make sense," Toji complained. "If I'm controlling it with my mind, then what are these handlebars for?"

Ritsuko sighed, unabated. "Although you are synced with the Eva, it's hardly perfect. In many cases, the pilot needs to have something to physically manipulate in order to fully develop a precise action. It serves as a gauge, something to calibrate the exact distance and effort used in an action; this is important when pulling a trigger. In addition, there are many simple movements that you cannot perform while sitting down – movements such as walking, twisting, changing directions, ducking… The forward and back motions of the control yokes are meant to substitute for these motions."

Toji leaned back in his entry plug. "So how am I supposed to know which actions are controlled by thought and which ones aren't?"

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Toji, for being one of the most athletic of the pilots, you're putting an awful lot of thought into this. Just let it come naturally, you're bound to get it."

Ritsuko tuned out Toji's complaining in time to catch Maya Ibuki chuckling.

"And just what is so funny, Maya?" Ritsuko asked.

"Sempai," Maya explained through a grin. "Everyone knows that Toji's a jock. With the amount of teasing he gets from his fellow pilots, it's painfully obvious."

Ritsuko frowned. "Your point?"

Maya giggled. "You basically just called him an idiot."

Ritsuko sighed. "I'm sorry. I've just been stressed out. Ever since my mother left…my workload has been overwhelming. It'd be one thing if Professor Soryu were any help, but as acclaimed as she is, I have to keep explaining things to her that I hardly comprehend myself. At least she understands the MAGI. If I had to explain that to her, we'd be a year behind schedule."

Maya frowned. "I understand that you've been through a lot, Sempai. And…listen, if there's anything I can do…"

Ritsuko turned away, brushing away a tear. "That's sweet of you, Maya, but really…I'll get over it…"

Ritsuko went back to haggling Toji on the nuances of piloting. Maya bit her lip as she belligerently got back to work.

Ever since her mother died, Ritsuko has been faltering – Maya saw it day by day. And to make matters worse, the former Commander, Yui Ikari, Ritsuko's one true inspiration, was now gone.

It was a substantial blow to NERV, losing their two best scientists. But it was also taking its toll on it's third best. And that Professor Soryu…

"I'll help you through this, Sempai," Maya whispered silently. "I'll do whatever it takes."

xxxxx

While Toji remained an amateur when it came to piloting, Kaworu was a veteran by far. He had dominated his fellow pilots in the training simulation, had beaten them each in one on one sparring matches, and could even hold his own when pitched against all three.

The current electronic stage was aptly called "Ice Field," meant to simulate a battle that could take place on an ice cap. Every so often, the ice would break away, opening up crevices into the frigid waters. At those temperatures, the pain would be felt, even by an Eva.

Unit 04 stood tall, still and arrogant, a silver silhouette amid a white plain. In its hand was a simple spear. Surrounding it on three sides were Units 00, 01, and 02. They were each armed with similar spears.

"Come on guys, we can't let him beat us all _again_!" Asuka commanded, clutching her Eva's spear rigidly.

"Calm yourself," Rei spoke softly. "He beats us because we are ill at ease. Only when we have each reached his level will we defeat him."

Shinji sat uneasily. "That's gonna be hard, Rei. You heard Doctor Akagi – his sync rate is over ninety! I mean it's just so much higher than any of us."

"It's just a simulation," Rei reminded. "Now let us begin."

All three Eva's rushed the silver being, which didn't seem to take any particular interest in the figures advancing on him. Inside, Kaworu sat calmly with his eyes closed, silently connected to his Eva.

At the last possible moment, he leapt into the air, clearing away from all three Eva's. The three of them stopped short, staring up at where Unit 04 had gone. They looked up just in time to see it coming down, its spear point down.

All three Eva's dashed away as Kaworu's Eva struck only ice. The impact shattered the ice field, splitting it into three ice sheets that suddenly began to wobble uneasily on the water, each Eva suddenly cut off from the other.

Kaworu wasted no time in leaping over to Shinji's Eva, landing hard on the already unbalanced iceberg, the force of his landing knocking Unit 01 to its knees before its executioner. With a mighty blow, Unit 04 rammed the tip of its spear into Unit 01's neck.

"Shinji!"

Kaworu back-flipped off Shinji's iceberg and landed in front of Unit 02. Asuka, to her credit, did not topple over. She met Kaworu's spear with her own, jousting with him atop the wobbling ice sheet.

Her feet slipped, and Kaworu tripped her with the blunt edge of his spear, knocking her Eva onto its back. With a single motion, Kaworu rammed his spear into her Eva, shutting it off.

"Asuka!"

Kaworu turned to Rei, establishing a contact. Kaworu smiled. "I'm look forward to this, Rei. You're the most agile of all the pilots, so that makes you the best suited for this element."

Rei could only stare on in awe. His moves were so graceful and perfected. How was she supposed to combat someone like this?

Kaworu leapt away from the fallen Unit 02 and landed before her, tipping the icecap. Rei used gravity to her advantage, and slid beneath Unit 04's legs, before pulling a Kilik with her spear, knocking either of Unit 04's legs aside, catching it right in between, and launching it into the air.

Kaworu pirouetted in mid-air, sinking his spear tip into the ice, catching himself before sliding into the water. A look of awe was on Kaworu's face. "You're better than I thought."

Rei blushed at the compliment, and readied for another attack.

Kaworu advanced on her, leaping into the air again. He landed a kick right where Unit 00 had been two seconds prior. Rei however had sunken her spear tip into the ice and spun around it, delivering a spinning kick that hit Unit 04 in the face.

Kaworu reacted too quickly and seized her leg as he flew back. The sudden jerk tore the spear from Unit 00'a grasp, as she tumbling alongside Unit 04. Weaponless, she seized the weapon Unit 04 was holding. Fighting over the remaining spear, the two wrestled atop the shifting icebergs.

"What do you see in that boy, Rei?" Kaworu demanded, landing on top.

Red faced, Rei shoved him over, landing on top of Unit 04.

Kaworu did not struggle. "Has it occurred to you that he can't give you what you want?"

Rei wrestled the spear from Unit 04's grasp and raised it to strike.

"Has it occurred to you that you can't give him what he wants?"

Rei hesitated for just a moment. And that was all it took for Kaworu to draw his knife and stab Unit 00 in the heart.

xxxxx

"_Programm Ende_," came the robotic sounding voice.

"You almost had him, Rei!" Shinji voiced, excitedly. He and Asuka had been waiting outside Rei's entry plug.

Rei stepped over to Shinji, her face downcast. "I was defeated. That is all there is to it. I even had an advantage with the stage. He said so…"

Shinji placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Good thing we're all on the same team then, right?"

Rei sighed. "Must you always look for the good in everything, Shinji?"

Shinji smiled. "Always."

Asuka harrumphed as she watched Kaworu disappear down the hall. As much as the boy enjoyed hitting on Rei, he was certainly anti-social. They hardly ever saw him outside of NERV, and if they did, he would always approach them, before cutting the conversation short and walking off.

It was like he chose when and where he would interact with people.

Shrugging it off, she followed Shinji and Rei down the hall.

xxxxx

"So, how's training coming?" Shinji asked, as the gang went out for a snack in downtown Berlin. They had been hanging out regularly, and Asuka had been showing her fellow pilots all the greatest spots to be, and teaching them all the basics of German vernacular, from how to make an order to how to insinuate that the shopkeeper's mother regularly had sex with pigs in the event that he messed up your order.

"Tough," Toji whined. "I'm just not cut out for piloting, Shinji. I don't get how you guys do it so easily."

Asuka leaned back in her chair. "We do it so easily because we've been training all our lives. You just started, what, a month ago? Give it time, monkey boy, you'll get it."

Shinji cringed. "Besides, the way the Fifth Child fights, he makes the rest of us looks like rookies."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. I swear, one of these days, I'm gonna put that gray haired goon in his place!"

Shinji smiled at Asuka's resilience. Despite repeated failure, she wasn't ready to accept defeat, even over simple rivalry in piloting. He turned to Rei, and frowned. She had been awfully quiet over the past few days. She was always somewhat withdrawn, but she usually added her two cents to conversations.

But now…

"Is something the matter, Rei?" Shinji asked.

Rei shook her head. "Today's battle simulation…"

Shinji shrugged. "He whooped us pretty good. I have to admire his tactic though. He divided us up evenly, and took us each out one at a time."

Rei frowned. "Something the Fifth Child said, though…"

Shinji frowned back. "What did he say?"

Rei looked sadly at the boy. She could see the feeling in his eyes, the unmasked adoration. The kind of look a person gives to someone he treasures beyond words.

Rei managed a smile. "Nothing, forget it."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Probably just as well. I'm not interested in anything that know it all has to say."

Shinji nodded, when a recollection hit him. "Hey Rei…I…kind of forgot about something."

Rei blinked. "What is it?"

"When…when Mom died…" Shinji swallowed. "I mean…she wasn't the only one who died. Professor Akagi died also."

Rei nodded. "Yes, she did."

Shinji frowned. "Aren't you…I mean…she was your mother."

"She was not," Rei shook her head.

"I know she wasn't related to you," Shinji offered. "But still…"

"She and I were not on kind terms," Rei mouthed. "Her death was a setback for NERV and for Doctor Akagi…but not for myself."

Toji shook his head. "Still, though…you lived with her and all, right? Was she that mean to you?"

Rei nodded. "She was the reason I was unable to attend the party the night before we left."

Asuka bit back a pang of guilt.

"Still…you weren't affected by it at all?" Toji asked. "I mean, when my sister almost died, I didn't know what to do with myself."

Rei nodded. "I was…not saddened by her passing. I know her death is a tragedy, but I feel no remorse. Does that…make me a bad person?"

Shinji took her arm. "There's a difference between someone dying, and someone you know dying. Fifteen hundred people died on that ship, Rei. I know it's a tragedy, but I don't feel any remorse because I just didn't know any of them. And I have to admit, Professor Akagi was a scary woman. I can't say it had much of an effect on me either."

Rei sighed. "I suppose you are right. There are those who mean little to us…and those who mean much."

Shinji squeezed her shoulder. "At least both know that much."

Asuka threw up her hand. "Oh, would you cut the mushy talk already? Let's get something to eat!"

xxxxx

Gendo stood diligently at his Commander's side. He'd been sub commander to Yui for the better part of fifteen years. It was very awkward to be under this new leader.

"Well, that about wraps it up for me today," Ryota Soryu filed all his papers into a brief case. He pulled out a box of cigars and opened it. "Cigar?" he offered to Gendo.

He politely declined.

Commander Soryu shrugged and lit his own, inhaling a large mouthful. "You know, I may have been through the Post-Impact war, but this whole thing with the angel's blows everything off the scale."

Gendo nodded. "We are fighting a war of biblical proportions."

Soryu nodded. "I know, I know. I just hope I'm up to it. You've got more experience with these Angel's then I ever had. I'm gonna need all the help you can give me. Can I count on you?"

Gendo nodded, briskly. "Of course sir."

Ryota nodded, getting to his feet. "Good, good. I'm going to turn in for the evening. Be sure to lock the place up, Ikari."

Gendo nodded, as he watched the old man walk out. "Yes sir."

The room was silent for a while, as Gendo hardly moved. Slowly he made his way to the glass window behind the Commander's desk. He peered out across the man-made Geo-Front, a pale copy of the original, just as Eva was a pale copy of Adam.

Everything in his life, it seemed, was false and remade. Nothing of the original beauty and luster of humanity remained. Everything had disappeared…along with the only woman he had ever loved.

He rested his head against the glass. Hidden away from the rest of world, one of the coldest men the world had known let a single tear fall down his cheek.

xxxxx

The pilot dorm rooms were pretty luxurious. All five were in the same apartment suite. Shinji, Toji and Rei, acclimated to the cramped living of Japanese, were all but overwhelmed with the amount of space they had. The suite took the entire east corner of the building, which itself was stationed on a hub that filed into the artificial Geo-Front and just about anywhere in the city. This made it quick and easy for the pilots to get to their Eva's in the event of an attack.

The door opened up to a common room with a kitchenette and a living room with a V-shaped couch and three chairs in front of a TV. Off to the side was a small video library. Behind the living area was a small, wide set of stairs that led up to a pair of large glass windows that provided an airy view of the night sky. Off to the right of the windows were the boy's rooms, and the girls were to the left. The suite was designed so that eight people could sleep separately.

A month living there, and Shinji was still incensed by the size of the place.

Shinji and Rei were sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Toji was busy fixing himself a little pre-bedtime snack. Asuka had locked herself away in her room as usual, chatting on the phone with her German friends. No one knew were Kaworu was.

Rei tried to follow along with the jokes that went with the movie. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Shinji's smile deepen at some of the comments made, but she found herself unaffected by the comedy. Part of the reason may have been that it was in German with Japanese subtitles.

Rather than ask about the humor, she simply delighted in holding onto the boy, not truly caring what passed before her eyes on the large TV screen.

The movie ended and Shinji glanced over at Rei, a tired look in her eyes. Toji had long since gone to bed. Shinji flipped the TV off and set down the remote.

"I think everyone else is asleep," Shinji offered, kissing her.

Rei nodded. She didn't take his invitation, but then she also made no motion to stop him.

Taking the initiative, Shinji wrapped his arms all the way around her waist, gently kissing her over and over again. Seeing her smile, Shinji began kissing her neck.

"Shinji…" Rei purred, tilting her head back. "Remember what I said…about here and now…"

Shinji winked. "Have I gone any farther than I have before?"

Rei shook her head. "…No."

Shinji smiled, coyly. "Then stop complaining and enjoy it for a bit."

Rei was lost for words as Shinji began nibbling on her ear. Electricity shot through her entire body, ever appendage stiffening. Her hands went down to clutch his own, still wrapped around her waist.

It was electrifying. She was actually frozen in place as Shinji devoured her ear, suckling the earlobe, tonguing it, nibbling for all it was worth. She felt another jolt shoot through her as he nibbled again and again.

"Shinji…!" Rei stammered.

She panted, unable to say more. She hadn't even noticed the dull pressure against her waist, or how his hands had not moved. In all fairness, Shinji was demonstrating incredible restraint. But all thoughts were simply blown from Rei's mind by his ministrations.

He just simply wouldn't leave her ear alone! And it was driving her crazy!

"Shinji!" Rei gasped after he pulled away, squeezing his hand. "That…that…wow…"

Shinji smiled, playfully. "You like that?"

Rei caught her breath, swallowing. "I…I did not know you could do that, Shinji…"

Shinji blushed. "All I did was nibble a little."

Rei just sat there gasping. How had such a tiny ministration caused her such excitement?

"What time do you have to get up in the morning?" Shinji smiled.

Rei blinked. "What?"

Shinji blushed. "Well, I'm just wondering how long we can do this before we say goodnight."

Rei sat still, her body still shivering with the aftershock. "Unless there is an attack, not early at all."

Shinji smiled, wolfishly. "Well then, let's just…play it by ear."

Rei shivered all over again. He'd just said the magic words.

xxxxx

A/N: Well, I didn't get much accomplished in this chapter, but the good news, I've got some solid ideas for the next chapter, so expect updates soon. Other than that, keep on reading and reviewing.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

December 4th, 2015

The first campaign against the angels in Germany was underway. The seventh Angel had made landfall somewhere in the south of France, and was making it's way towards Berlin. It was projected to reach the Geo-front in less than five hours. Commander Soryu had mind to destroy much sooner.

With a quick snap, Unit 02 and Unit 04 feel from their carries, plummeting five thousand feet to land squarely in the Angel's path. The nearby residences had all been evacuated, and several weapons stands shot up from the ground, revealing a slew of melee weapons.

"Okay guys," Misato spoke over the intercom. "The Commander wants this thing taken down fast. You two are the best close range fighter's we have. Can I count on you?"

Asuka smiled, widely. "Quit joking, Misato! This is what I was _born_ for!"

Kaworu nodded, smiling at Asuka's enthusiasm. "I'm ready for battle, Captain."

Back at base, Unit 00 and 01 stood on standby. Rei eyed the view screen vividly, until the silhouette of the Angel was visible.

"These Angel's just keep getting uglier and uglier!" Asuka's voice sounded clear as day, even though she was miles away.

Rei looked back at Shinji and was surprised to find him seething.

"Shinji?" she asked. "What is troubling you?"

"Those things…" Shinji breathed. "…I'll make them pay…"

Rei exhaled. "Shinji…calm yourself…we won't be seeing any combat for some time."

"Rei…" Shinji sobbed. "Those things killed me mother. I'm going to get even with them. If not this time, then the next."

Rei sighed. "If that is what motivates you, Shinji. Just remember to keep your focus. You are still a pilot of NERV."

Shinji caught his breath, nodding in agreement.

On the bridge, Shigeru, Makoto and Maya were typing furiously, monitoring every aspect of the Angel they could before it reached the Eva's.

"Sempai, look at this!" Maya called.

Ritsuko peered at the view port and squinted. "Two cores?"

Maya nodded. "What do you think that means?"

Ritsuko threw Misato a glance. "Captain…the Angel has two cores. I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet the battle won't be over until both are destroyed."

Misato nodded. "I got you, Ritsuko. Asuka, Kaworu, I want both those cores destroyed."

"Both?" Asuka's voice came over the speakers. "There's two of them?"

Misato nodded. "Take a good look. Kaworu, hit the thing as hard as you can, and Asuka, if he fails to destroy either core, destroy the remaining one fast."

Both pilots nodded. "Roger!"

Asuka licked her lips. The Angel was just barely visible on the horizon. Time to show the gray haired twit what she could do.

"Miss Soryu?" Kaworu's face appeared on her screen. "I'm using a private line. Not even the people on the bridge can here us."

Asuka face twisted. "What do _you_…hey, wait a minute…how exactly are you managing that?"

Kaworu smiled. "I know a trick or two."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Well, hurry up and talk, cause that Angel's getting closer."

Kaworu nodded. "I was wondering about how you feel about Shinji."

Asuka gawked. "Wha-? You-! How exactly is that any of your business?"

Kaworu smiled. "Very simple. In case you haven't noticed, my eyes are for Rei."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Is a battlefield really the place to be scheming about relationships?"

Kaworu shook his head. "I just wanted to get it out there. This was my first real opportunity, since NERV is monitoring us everywhere else."

Asuka shrugged. "Alright, whatever."

Kaworu nodded. "Think about it."

His face disappeared.

"Weirdo."

"Asuka?" Misato's voice came.

"Yeah, what?"

"Where were you just now?" Misato demanded. "I've been trying to reach you. Are you awake?"

"Just focusing on the battle head of me, Captain," Asuka smiled.

"Alright, well, just don't zone out on me when I'm giving you an order," Misato cautioned, and she disappeared from the screen.

Asuka gripped her controls as the Angel came into focus. "Here we go…"

xxxxx

"Now, tell me again why you ordered us to retreat?" Asuka complained back at the Geo-Front. She and Kaworu had just arrived, and the Angel's ETA was less than four hours. Their campaign against the Angel had gone, in a word, terribly.

While she had waited in transit, Asuka had given some thought to what Kaworu had said. Every time she looked at the boy, he acted as though he hadn't said anything suspicious. Did he really mean what he'd said?

"Because you weren't damaging the Angel, that's why," Misato shot back.

"I would have, except Mister Perfect kept getting in my way!" Asuka huffed, indignantly.

"Asuka…" Misato sighed. "Kaworu was the only one of you who actually managed to scratch it."

"Apparently," Ritsuko piped. "Unless both cores are destroyed simultaneously, the Angel cannot be destroyed."

Asuka crossed her arms. "So, just let me hit it hard enough to destroy both of them at the same time!"

Misato rolled her eyes. "How exactly do you plan on managing that when you couldn't even destroy one of them?"

Asuka fumigated.

"At least Kaworu managed to destroy one of the cores before it regenerated," Ritsuko added.

Asuka fumigated. More.

"Each core takes a certain degree of power to destroy," Ritsuko pointed out. "It's nearly impossible for a single Eva to generate the power needed, but two should be more than adequate for the job."

Misato shook her head. "The problem is, it won't accomplish much even with more than one Eva. It doesn't matter how many Evas are on the battlefield, when in the midst of hand-to-hand combat, you can only fight one at a time. It doesn't matter if he have two or two hundred, we're not going to be able to kill this angel in hand-to-hand combat."

Ritsuko frowned. "Then what do we do?"

Misato looked pensively. Ritsuko only saw her like this when Misato was in deep thought. It was usually in these circumstances that she came up with her best ideas.

"In any case, we can't risk a frontal assault like that. The nearest power station we have set up for Eva's is in Marseille, and that's not on the Angel's projected path. In order to fight it head on, we'd need an adequate power supply for a large scale battle. Our soonest chance for a full on assault would be once it's reached the Geo-Front." Misato rubbed her forehead. "If only there was some way to synchronize our attacks…"

"Captain," Shinji called out. "Let me do it!"

Misato looked up. So did everyone else. Even Toji, who was merely on the bridge to observe, look aghast. Had Shinji just _volunteered_ to fight?

"Shinji?" Misato asked.

"Give me one shot with a positron rifle," Shinji glared. "I'll drop that thing before it reaches the third marker."

Misato smiled. "Shinji…what's gotten into you? Why are you so enthusiastic to pilot all of the sudden?"

Shinji closed his eyes. "Misato…those things killed my mother. I'm not going to stop fighting until every single one of them is dead."

Misato looked at him sadly. Revenge. She understood it well. It was why she was here in the first place.

"Are you sure about this Shinji?" Misato asked him. "If we set you up outside our power grid, you'll get one shot at best."

Shinji clenched a fist. "I can do it!"

Misato smiled. "Alright, Shinji. But you'll need another man. We're going to need two shots fired in perfect succession."

Asuka raised her hand, eager to show off to Shinji. "I'll do it! I'm as good a shot as any!"

Kaworu rolled his eyes. "Actually, I believe my marksmanship scores are higher."

As Asuka glared down the boy, Misato shook her head. "Actually, there's only one pilot here I'd trust to fight in perfect synchrony with Shinji." Misato stood up. "Begin preparations for Units 01 and Unit 00! We launch to intercept the Angel in fifteen minutes!"

xxxxx

"Shinji," came Rei's concerned voice over the intercom. "I am concerned for you. The way you spoke earlier…it sounded…ruthless. It wasn't like you."

She and Shinji were already in their entry plugs, flying over central Germany en route to intercept the Angel, which was already marching through Austria.

"Maybe the fighting's getting to me," Shinji hung his head. It was dark inside the entry plug, since there wasn't much to see outside other than the black walls of the carrier shuttle. "I don't know Rei…if I go over the edge, will you let me know?"

Rei shuddered. "Define 'over the edge.'"

Shinji shrugged. "If I go crazy or something. If I become some berserk soldier and start killing everything in site. I don't want to end up hurting people. Because of me, Toji's sister…"

"Shinji?"

"That can't be allowed to happen again," Shinji forced back tears. "I won't become some mindless killing machine. If I do, Rei…I want you to stop me. By any means necessary."

Rei frowned. "Shinji…"

Shinji shook his head. "Don't worry…maybe I'm just being paranoid. It wouldn't be the first time."

Misato's face appeared on the console before them. "Okay, guys. I've linked up your targeting computers, so you'll also see the other pilot's crosshairs. This is to ensure that you two hit both your targets and that you both know when the exact moment will be. Now listen, you two: if you screw this up, our last resort will be a head on assault at the Geo-Front."

Shinji gripped his fist tightly. "We won't screw up. We're unbeatable as a team."

Misato nodded. "That's why I chose you two. I'm counting on you."

xxxxx

_Focus…_Rei told herself as she peered down the scope of UN positron rifle. _Focus…_

She and Shinji had both been issued identical rifles and were budgeted the same amount of power. It was crucial that their shots be in perfect unison. If one of them was off, even by a fraction…

_Focus…focus…_Rei intoned.

"Angel, coming within range!"

She had never seen Shinji so bloodthirsty before. In the back of her mind, she could here his panting breath. He wanted the Angel to die. She had never seen this side of Shinji before, but she wasn't sure she liked it.

She shrugged it off, aiming her blue crosshairs over the Angel's left hand core. She could see a purple set of cross hairs come to bear on the right core. The two cores encircled each other in a yin yang formation, as two entities existing together in perfect harmony. Just as her and Shinji's bead encircled each other…

"Fire!"

Rei jerked. Had she been zoning out? There should have been a countdown. Had she missed it? Impossible! She had been focusing on the target the entire time. Focusing on the two spinning orbs…

Her fingers twitched automatically with the shouted command and their two shots rang out across the German landscape.

xxxxx

"Well, it looks like Shinji's isn't all that great of a shot after all!" Asuka smirked as she and Kaworu sat in their Eva's on standby, after the news of the sniper attempt came back as failed.

"Tell me, Asuka, do you find delight in the pain of others?" Kaworu asked, sincerely.

"Schadenfreude?" Asuka asked. "Only in those who deserve it."

"Oh. Sorry, I had to be sure," Kaworu nodded. "For the record, both the shots hit their marks perfectly. They were just a second apart from each other, and thus the Angel managed to survive. They might have fired off a second set of shots and finished it off, but sufficient power was not available."

"Do you find delight in being an insufferable know-it-all?" Asuka asked, sardonically.

"More than you can possibly imagine," Kaworu smirked.

"You know, I'm really beginning to hate you," Asuka rolled her eyes.

"Now, that's hardly the way fellow pilots should be," Kaworu bemoaned. "What can I do amend the situation between us, Asuka? It's important that we get along as fellow pilots."

Asuka smirked. "Well, you can start by not being such a show off."

Kaworu nodded. "Very well then. You want me to lower my sync ratio so that yours will be the highest?"

Asuka gawked. "You're…you're serious, aren't you?"

Kaworu shrugged. "If it will amend things between, yes. I want things to be comfortable between us, Asuka."

Asuka shook her head. "Forget it, then. There's no way I'd be comfortable knowing I was better cause you weren't giving your all. If I'm gonna be number one, I want it to be on my own merit."

"I respect that, Asuka," Kaworu smiled. "I truly do."

Asuka smirked. "It's a start. So…it seems the two of us will get another shot at that Angel. Any ideas?"

Kaworu's lips turned upward into a great big smile. "Do you like music Asuka?"

xxxxx

"As you are no doubt aware," the head of SEELE said, "High Commander Soryu is replaceable. And as you witnessed today, he has reached the extent of his usefulness. His first Angel campaign, and already we see two failures. We believe it's time High Command of NERV was given to someone else."

Gendo took all this in the way he did most things these days: with a cold stare on his face.

"You have unrivalled knowledge of Project E and all of its components, in addition to the pilots themselves," the head SEELE went on. "You have also demonstrated loyalty to your commanding officer despite questionable abilities." Keel placed his arm across the tabletop. "While the late Commander Ikari was everything we could have asked for in terms of competence, she was, how shall I put this…disturbingly disloyal. Soryu, on the other hand, was much the opposite. He stayed true to his post, and has for years. But he simply does not bring anything to the table. We are hoping that you, Gendo Ikari, will provide a medium in this case, now that you have witnessed what happens to traitors."

Gendo's eyes dilated. "You planned the attack at sea, didn't you?"

Keel acted as though he had not heard anything. "Beat this Angel. Do not fail us. That is all we will say for now. We will speak again after you have something to show for yourself."

The speakers left Gendo to contemplate in silence.

xxxxx

After Misato had almost literally chewed her nails off, she began to wonder if she'd been too hard on Shinji and Rei in light of their failure. In all fairness, positrons were affected by the slightest miscalculations. Either pilot only need to have mistimed their fire by a fraction of a second, and the distance between the two shots would multiply exponentially by the time it reached their target. The fact that the two shots were within a second of each other was miracle enough. The Angel was something else if even a margin that small had been enough for one core to regenerate the other.

Misato was suddenly reminded of the incoming Angel by yet another alarm going off, and she promptly decided that, no, she hadn't been to hard on the two. They shouldn't have been so out of sync! She'd seen the two in action before, those two were like bread and butter. There was no way they should have been off by that much, not at their level.

Something was up between those two. Something that was pulling them apart.

Tucking that bit away for alter, Misato arrived at the bridge, throwing a glance up at the command deck.

"Where is the Commander?" She hollered, knowing that if anyone had been in earshot, they would answer.

"The is unavailable right now, Captain," Ritsuko piped. Her use of the title told her that she shouldn't worry about it at the moment. "The Angel's ETA is less than five minutes. Do we have a strategy?"

Misato shook her head. "No."

Misato slumped on her desk. Why, oh why, did Shinji and Rei have to misfire?

"Don't worry, Captain," came a jolly sounding voice. Too jolly by Misato's judge. "Asuka and I worked something out. Here, do us a favor and play this mp3 in both our speakers as soon as we launch from the Eva cages. We'll need the Eva's to be on full power. I'd also like to request added mobility."

Misato blinked. "Added mobility?"

Kaworu nodded. "Meaning you disconnect our Eva's umbilical cables."

Misato gawked. "Fifth Child, are you nuts? The entire reason we're intercepting the Angel so close to home is precisely because we have access to external power!"

Kaworu nodded. "I understand that. But Asuka and I have been in the simulator for the past three hours, and we've worked out a strategy that will effectively destroy both cores 99.8 percent of the time, but it requires that we run on internal power for it to work."

Misato blinked. "Are you telling me you've not only managed to synchronize close range attacks within three hours, but you've formulated one that will kill the target within a minute?"

Kaworu nodded. "That is the reason for the music. It keeps us in sync."

"ETA in two minutes!" Ritsuko shouted. "We're running out of time, Captain!"

Misato bit her lip. "Alright, do it you two. Don't make me regret this."

"Don't worry about a thing, Captain!" Asuka piped. "We're not like those two amateurs you sent out earlier!"

Misato frowned. "For all our sakes, I hope you're right."

xxxxx

62 seconds, one catchy song, and a fantastic display of acrobatics later, unit's 02 and 04 were in a pile of heated earth and ruble.

"You blew the landing, didn't you?" a peeved Asuka huffed.

"Actually, I landed perfectly," Kaworu smiled. "I believe it was you who tripped."

"Don't you lie to me!" Asuka growled. "I know you just wanted to land on top of me like this!"

Kaworu glanced over. His Eva was in fact sprawled over hers in a rather compromising position. "Is your opinion of me so low that you think I would stoop to such measures?" Kaworu said, looking hurt. "I thought I had at least proven myself beyond such qualms. Besides, you know I'm interested in someone else."

Asuka blew a stray strand of hair. "Oh, yeah, like I'm falling for that for even a second! That's such a typical excuse, Fifth Child!"

Kaworu sighed. "All joking aside, you did a fantastic job for something concocted off the top of my head with only three hours of practice time."

Asuka smirked. "Just goes to show what you can do when you let professionals do the job!"

Inside the base, Misato had just about passed out. "That was too close…"

Ritsuko smiled at her friend's relief, when she caught a familiar face emerging from the Command deck.

"Sub Commander Ikari," she called out. "What happened to Commander Soryu?"

Gendo merely returned his glasses to their proper position on his face. "As of right now, Commander Ryota Soryu has been relieved of command, and will no longer hold any status here at NERV."

Maya, Makoto and Shigeru all turned their heads up in disbelief. Another change in their command?

Ritsuko gawked. "Commander Soryu's been relieved? Then who will be commanding?"

Gendo Ikari just smiled. "I will."

xxxxx

A/N: Not much Shinji and Rei in this, but what's this synchronization between Asuka and Kaworu? Could it possibly mean anything? Even when Kaworu has expressed his desire for Rei since his arrival? We'll all have to see now, won't we?

And now Gendo Ikari's back in the saddle. Things are turning out much the way they used to be in the original series, now aren't they?


	9. Chapter Nine

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

December 13th, 2015

Liquor bottles and stray articles of clothing littered the dark bedroom floor, where Ryota Soryu sat on an unmade bed, a revolver in his hand placed firmly against his chin.

CLICK

Eighteen years of active duty in the UN Naval fleet.

CLICK

Sixteen Medals of Honor, both on land and on sea.

CLICK

Decorated war hero of the Post-Impact War. And what did he have to show for it?

CLICK

Stripped. Demoted. Reduced to a desk job. By a bunch of decaying old men who he'd never even seen the faces of.

CLICK

The bedroom door creaked open.

"Daddy!"

BLAM!

xxxxx

December 12th, 2015

"Are you sure about this Shinji?"

Shinji hunched over as he prepared himself. "I need to do this, Rei. Otherwise, I'll never be satisfied."

Rei nodded. "Very well. If that is your wish."

Shinji bent his legs, readying himself…

…And he lunged.

CLANG!

Rei sighed. "You have much to learn, Shinji."

Unit 01 and Unit 00 were dueling in the simulator. The map was a flat, gray plane with no walls, the horizon stretching out forever.

Shinji, rather than his usual pallet rifle, had a purple trimmed progressive katana in his hands, which had just been blocked by Rei's own blue katana.

"I need to get better at melee combat, Rei," Shinji bemoaned. "Asuka and Kaworu are so far ahead of me…even you school me in hand-to-hand."

Rei smiled, sweetly. "That's because I know all where all your weak points are."

Shinji pouted. "That's…really not fair."

Rei sighed, as Unit 01 pulled away. "Alright, let us continue. Come at me again, this time faster. It needs to be fluid and relaxed. Don't think about it – let your body move on its own."

Shinji took in a deep breath as Unit 01 drew back its sword behind its back. He stood perfectly still for several moments, before lunging again.

CLANG!

"Better," Rei encouraged. "But you're still too slow. Your Eva is just as fast as mine is, there is no reason you should be slower than me."

Shinji tried again, this time Unit 00 sidestepped, tripping unit 01, causing it to tumble over.

Rei sighed. "You are hopeless, Shinji."

Shinji whined. "Don't say that, Rei!"

"Need some help?" came a sardonic voice.

Both units tuned their heads up to see Unit 04 stepping up to them.

"Kaworu?" Shinji blinked. "How'd you get in here without alerting us?"

Kaworu smiled. "I know a trick or two." Unit 04 reached its arm to help Shinji up. "What do you say to some pointers?"

Shinji blinked. "Really?"

Kaworu smiled. "Of course. As fellow pilots, we are obliged to assist each other. Right now, I'm in a position to help you become a better fighter. It's not only my pleasure, but my duty to lend a hand."

Shinji pushed one of his control yokes forward and Unit 01 reached up to accept Unit 04's hand. "Thanks."

Kaworu smiled. "Don't mention it. Now, Rei is correct that you're moving too slow, but there's an easy way to correct this." Kaworu pressed the voice command switch in his entry plug. "_Programm: Schicken Sie mir ein progressives katana_."

"_Befehl bestätigen_," the computer confirmed, and a silver trimmed progressive katana materialized in Unit 04's hand.

"Firstly," Kaworu said, moving Unit 04 into the correct position, "You need to change your stance. Stance is everything in hand to hand combat."

Shinji nodded, following Kaworu's lead.

"Next, you need to loosen up. You need to be able to use all the Eva's muscles; even the ones that you wouldn't think are involved. When performing a fluid strike, every muscle in your body is doing something."

Shinji tried, but he was having a hard time. He'd never been the athletic type.

"Now, the tricky part," Kaworu said, taking a stance in front of him. "You need to let go."

Shinji stared blankly at Kaworu's face on his monitor for a few seconds. "What?"

Kaworu nodded. "Let go of your physical self. Be one with your Eva. It's not the Eva handling the sword, Shinji, it is yourself. Be the Eva, and attack me. Don't think…let your feelings drive you."

Shinji lunged.

CLANG!

Unit 04 caught Shinji's blade in its hand.

"Not good enough!" Kaworu shouted, using his grip to throw Shinji backwards.

Unit 01 stumbled, looking back up at Kaworu, mystified. "Kaw-"

Shinji quickly dashed away after Kaworu swiped his blade, nearly cleaving off Unit 01's head.

"What are you doing?" Shinji demanded.

"You won't know how to fight until you let yourself go, Shinji!" Kaworu shouted.

Shinji dodged another attack.

"Kaworu!" Rei cried out from the sidelines. "What are you doing? Stop this!"

"Stop running and fight me!" Kaworu yelled. "Be a man, Shinji! Defend yourself!"

Shinji held up his sword. "Stop! Stop it! I've had enough!"

"Don't back out now, Shinji!" Kaworu shouted, knocking Unit 01 back.

"Kaworu, you're hurting him!" Rei cried. "Stop!"

"Treat me as your enemy, Shinji!" Kaworu declared. "Strike me down!"

Unit 01 limbered away, weakened and bashed.

"Do as I say, Shinji!" Kaworu shouted. "I am your enemy! Hate me! Strike me down!"

Shinji cringed. "Kaworu…why are you doing this?"

Kaworu glared at Shinji. "Hate me, Shinji. See me as your worst enemy. Only then can you fight me on equal footing."

Shinji shook his head. "I've had enough, Kaworu! I don't want to fight you!"

"Don't forget, Shinji…" Kaworu glared. "I killed her."

Shinji gasped.

"Kaworu, please!" Rei shouted. "You've done enough!"

"I'm the one who killed your mother, Shinji," Kaworu glared, maliciously. "You should hate me! Doesn't it make your blood boil? Knowing that you have to fight alongside the pilot who took her life away?"

"Shut…up!" Shinji shouted, getting to his feet.

"What are you going to do about it, huh?" Kaworu smiled. "Are you going to go crying to Rei, or are you going to strike me down?"

"Kaworu, what are you doing!" Rei shouted. "Stop that, right now!"

"Hate me, Shinji!" Kaworu prodded. "I killed your mother, Shinji! Now hate me!"

Shinji clenched his fist, "I…said…SHUT UP!"

In the blink of an eye, Unit 01 struck.

CLANG!

And Shinji's katana sailed away into the distance. Unit 01 was left lying face first on the ground. Kaworu's foot was planted firmly on its back.

"Pathetic," he huffed. "You're not man enough for her."

Almost instantly, Kaworu's katana came up automatically to block the oncoming attack. He managed to block the first blow, but the second sliced through his Eva's wrist, weakening his grip. A third blow had struck the sword from his grasp. Two more blows brought him to his knees. And a sharp kick had Unit 04 lying on its back.

In less than two seconds, Rei's sword point was pressed against Kaworu's neck.

"Leave. Now."

Kaworu's Eva shimmered and disappeared, but not without one of his trademark smiles.

Rei turned to Unit 01, and knelt down, taking the lifeless frame in her arms.

"Shinji?" she murmured.

She tapped into his entry plug monitor, and could only see him curled up in a ball, crying his eyes out.

xxxxx

Misato silently fumigated as her hitherto enjoyable lunch break with Ritsuko turned sour with the arrival of another.

"Yo," came a flirtatious smirk.

Misato sighed, deciding that this was a bad day. "Don't you have other places to be? Like the second layer of Hell?"

"Harsh," Kaji whistled.

"Give her a little leeway, Kaji," Ritsuko winked. "After all, she came _this_ close to buying the farm in that last Angel attack."

"Don't remind me…" Misato sighed, knocking back another brewski. One of the undeniable benefits of moving to Germany: They stocked the cafeteria vending machines with beer.

"Cutting it awfully close there, Katsuragi," Kaji smiled, sitting down next to them.

"I don't recall inviting you to sit with us," Misato glared.

"Kaji would you like to sit with us?" Ritsuko offered.

"That's sweet of you, Ritsu," Kaji winked.

"Ritsuko…" Misato fumigated.

The faux blonde couldn't help but smile. "So, Kaji, what can you tell us about this sudden change in our commanding officers? With all this mix and match going on among the higher ups, it's like musical chairs up there."

Kaji held his hands up. "I'm afraid I'm not at the liberty to say much. All I can tell you is that the title may say "Supreme Commander," but the Commander is not the one running the show."

Misato threw Ritsuko a glance, before looking back at Kaji. "Then who is?"

Kaji smiled. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Misato furrowed her brow. "Oh, cut the James Bond crap."

Kaji shrugged. "Honest. If I spurt out too much information, I'm a dead man."

Misato turned her attention the other way. "Why do think I'm prying?"

Kaji cringed. "Ouch."

xxxxx

While Maya was well aware of the fact that Professor Soryu's husband was just recently relieved from his command, a fact that no doubt put untold levels of stress on the poor woman's shoulders, she was beginning to grow weary of the old hag's badgering.

"Where are those reports I asked for?" Kyoko Soryu all but bellowed.

"Right on your desk, where I said they were," Maya answered.

"Do I look like I have the time to be paying attention to little things?" Kyoko gripped, marching over to the glass, behind which lay the test plug for Unit 03 with Toji inside.

"Where the devil is that blasted Akagi woman when I need her?" Kyoko demanded. "I need her to properly assess the Fourth Child's status."

Maya dared speak up. "If I may, Professor, Doctor Akagi mentioned allowing Toji to train in the simulator with his fellow pilots-"

"I'll believe that when I hear it from the horses mouth, if you don't mind," Soryu grouched.

Maya cringed. _Senpai, where are you? I really need a breather!_

Thankfully, Kyoko's attention was taken off the task at hand when her daughter arrived, full of her usual pep.

"_Hallo, Mamma_," Asuka chirped, waltzing into test lab.

"Hi, sweetie," Kyoko said, baffling Maya with a display of mood swinging that, the young tech was sure, was in danger of disturbing the earth's orbit. The red haired scientist gently wrapped her arms around the girl, a smile on her face.

"How's the job been treating you?" Asuka piped.

Kyoko sighed. "It's been really hard, dearest. With the way things are with your father, I've had hell to pay."

Asuka frowned, letting her go. "That's sad to hear. Anything I can do?"

Kyoko placed her hands on her hips. "Well, you might stop by for a visit once in a while."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Mom, we talked about this. I'm a big girl now, there's no reason for me to be living at home."

Soryu frowned. "I know, sweetheart. But your father's really been down after he was laid off. I'm not asking you to move back in with us – hell, I'm not even asking you to come by for dinner, but won't you please just stop by for a chat once in a while? I know it would mean the world to your father."

Asuka took a deep breath. "Well…alright. Why don't I swing by tonight after testing?"

Kyoko smiled. "Oh, that would be wonderful, _schnuckiputzi!_"

Asuka smiled, turning to go. "He'll be happy to hear about how well I performed in the last Angel Attack."

Kyoko waved her off. "That's my little girl."

Maya let go of a breath as she watched the girl leave. As thankful as she was for the reprieve in the Professor's demeanor, all the fluffy talk was getting to be too much, even for her.

"Maya!" the red head suddenly barked. "What are you doing just standing there? Get back to work!"

Maya sighed, and returned to typing. Maybe fluffy talk wasn't that bad after all.

xxxxx

Shinji and Rei lingered inside the simulator for a while, not looking forward to encountering Kaworu outside the machine. Their prayers were answered when, a few minutes later, they emerged, and Kaworu was nowhere to be seen.

Rei walked with Shinji away from the test plugs and down the hall towards the changing rooms, her arm over his shoulders.

"Shinji…" Rei muttered. "Are you alright?"

"No," Shinji spat, quite plainly.

Rei bit her lip. "What Kaworu did was-"

"What he did," Shinji interrupted, "Was open up my eyes."

Rei blinked. "Shinji?"

The boy clenched his fists. "He's right, Rei…I'm no man. I'm pathetic and weak!"

Rei clutched his shoulder. "That is not true, Shinji. How many times have you faced death in battle? How many times have you persevered when Soryu or I have failed?"

Shinji stopped walking as they reached the locker rooms. "Not good enough. I'm just not good enough. I'm not good enough for you, Rei."

Rei frowned. What Kaworu said to him seemed to be having more of an affect on him than she realized.

Seizing his shoulders suddenly, she kissed him deeply. The coppery taste of LCL was all over him, but she didn't care. She needed to remind him just what value he possessed.

"Shinji…" Rei said, breaking the kiss. "You have always been good enough for me. I do not care if you are not the best Eva pilot, what matters to me lies here…" she placed her hand over his heart. "Your value to me lies deeper than what you can or cannot do. And that is something that Kaworu can never take away."

Shinji's eyes widened, as his face became rapt with joy. He threw his arms around her, kissing her again.

"Thank you, Rei," he breathed, holding her tightly. "For…for everything…"

Rei allowed herself to be swept up in him, his strong grip and lithe frame squeezing her whole body. It was somewhat discomforting, but it was also…rather pleasing.

He started kissing her again, and Rei followed right along. It just felt so right to be here with him, dripping with LCL or not. She could feel his hands all over her, making her blush at times.

"Shinji…" she panted. "We are in the middle of the hallway."

Shinji grinned, mischievously. "I know…"

Rei gasped suddenly when his hand fell to take the control band around her wrist, and he pressed the switch, depressurizing her plug suit.

"Shinji!" Rei gasped, a blush forming on her face. "What are you…?"

Rei almost panicked when his hands returned to her back, finding the seam in her plug suit and began to undo it, exposing a portion of her back to the fresh air.

"Shinji," Rei blushed. "I think that is far enough."

Shinji kissed her neck, looking pleadingly at her. "Rei…come on…"

Rei smiled, sadly at him. "It is the wrong time, and the wrong place Shinji…"

Shinji smiled at her. "You aren't ready, huh?"

Rei nodded, blushing. "Yes. I am…sorry…"

Shinji refastened the seal on her plug suit, and cupped her cheek. "Can't blame me for trying. You know how beautiful I think you are."

Rei blushed even more. "I…thank you."

Shinji smiled and disappeared inside the boy's locker room.

Rei took a deep breath, before stepping towards the women's locker room. She already was having enough difficulty restraining him when he got like that. If she started to lose control of herself, there was no telling what they might end up doing.

"Trouble in paradise?" came a taunting voice.

Rei froze, throwing the speaker a look. "It's not polite to eavesdrop, Nagisa."

Kaworu smiled, standing outside the locker room. She hadn't even heard him leave. "Please, call me Kaworu," he admonished.

"I shall call you as I wish," Rei said, poignantly, repressurizing her plug suit, seeing as though she would have to first converse with the Fifth Child. And…well, the plug suit was more flattering when pressurized anyway, so…

Rei blushed, realizing where that line of thought was leading.

Kaworu sighed. "Very well. Oh, don't hate me for what I did with Shinji."

Rei frowned. "Shinji is a very sensitive soul. I understand the need to make him into a better fighter…but to reduce him to such a state…"

Kaworu shrugged. "Change is hard. You've known Shinji all your life. Surely you realize how stagnant he is. He's got to grow up at some point."

Rei shook her head. "And that is _your_ job?"

Kaworu smirked. "Is it yours?"

Rei frowned, but did not reply.

"I have another question," Kaworu said, stepping up to her. "Does Shinji know about your frequent visits underground?"

Rei's eyes widened a tad. She also noticed, with no small amount of discomfort, how agitated her body got around him. "Shinji understands that my involvement with NERV goes beyond that of normal pilots, and he respects my privacy in this matter. On that note, Nagisa, how exactly do you know about it?"

Kaworu smiled, flippantly. "Because I make the same visits."

Rei drew in her breath. "Then…then you are…?"

Kaworu grinned. "That's right. You and I are the same."

Rei nodded, finally understanding. "I see. That explains why you are so drawn to me."

Kaworu took a step closer. Rei could feel his breath now. "As you are to me."

Rei felt her cheeks getting warmer. "Do not be absurd. While I admit you are an attractive member of the male species, I would never betray Shinji."

Kaworu grinned. "Oh, really? Then why do you two not progress any farther than kissing?"

Rei did not like where this conversation was headed. "That is my decision to make. And I fail to see how this contributes to your point, as I would not progress any farther than kissing with anyone else, either."

Kaworu leaned in close to her, locking eyes with her. "Does that mean that you would progress _up until_ kissing with anyone else?"

Rei could hear her own heartbeat. "I believe you have overstepped your boundaries, Nagisa."

Kaworu withdrew to his upright position. "Yes, I believe I have. Do forgive me."

Rei exhaled when he turned to leave. She quickly entered the locker room, and leaned against the door. Her legs suddenly turned to jelly, and she slid to the floor, panting.

She could not recall ever becoming so heated up through simple conversation. It was bad enough that Shinji had been so insistent, but with the addition of Kaworu's advances, she was beginning to lose control of her emotions.

If she was not careful, she just may give into them.

Rei got to her feet, intent on a nice, cold shower.

xxxxx

December 13th, 2015

Asuka was sprawled out on the floor, her father lying face up beneath her. Tears were flowing from her eyes faster than a waterfall.

"What the hell do you think you're _doing_!"

The old man just stared blankly at her, a look of shock on his face.

"What were you trying to do!"

A bullet hole was visible on the ceiling. The offending firearm was strewn across the room.

Asuka seized the old man by the collar of his shirt. "How dare you even think of doing something like that! I'll never forgive you!"

Ryota Soryu just laid there, unable to comprehend the reality of the situation. One minute, he felt like his life was falling apart. His career, his entire life's work, everything he had built himself up to be…gone in the blink of an eye. He had honestly, truly been ready to end it all.

"I'll never…ever…forgive you!"

And now, all of the sudden, he realized that he still had a family. He had a beautiful wife, who worked night and day for them, and loved him dearly. He had a brilliant daughter who saved the world on a regular basis. He had his health. He had the rest of his life. What had he really lost?

"I'll never…"

Slowly, the old man reached up embrace his daughter, his eyes finally giving way to tears of his own.

"I'm a fool, Asuka," he mumbled. "A bitter, old fool."

Asuka continued to cry into her father's chest, unable to shake the haunting fear that had she walked in a moment later, her family would be one member short.

xxxxx

Unbeknownst, outside the window, a lone figure stood afloat on a cushion of air, motionless save for the ruffling of his clothing in the night breeze. His gray hair flapped ethereally in the wind, as his red eyes betrayed the relief at what he saw.

"Well done, Asuka…"

xxxxx

A/N: Well, there's my latest chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

How will Shinji and Rei's relationship progress from here? With Shinji's insistence to consummate, and Rei's inescapable infatuation with Kaworu, it looks like it's gong to be tough on our little youngsters.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

December 23rd, 2015

Asuka exited the simulator with a smug grin on her face.

"Honestly, I've never seen someone perform so poorly," she smirked. "Better luck next time, Monkey Face!"

Rei waited back as Asuka walked down the hallway. Shinji and Toji got out of their test plugs with dejected looks on their faces.

Just recently, Toji had been added to the official roster. He was still a rookie, but he was now training in the simulator with the rest of the pilots. And someone had proposed a battle of the sexes.

That someone had been Asuka.

"Alright, Shin-man, what are our odds?" Toji had asked his compatriot, as he nervously started his Eva.

"Not good," Shinji had frowned. "Asuka's the best pilot here, and Rei can whip me in a fair fight."

"So, basically, we're screwed?"

"Pretty much."

Toji had cringed. "Man…why can't Kaworu be here?"

Shinji had cringed. "He never showed up today. If we had him on our team, the odds would be much more favorable."

Toji had rolled his eyes. "That's probably why Asuka opted for this battle in the first place."

Needless to say, the battle had not gown well for the boys.

Rei stepped over to the two pilots and offered a supportive smile after the battle.

"You performed well today, Suzuhara."

Toji offered a weak smile. "You don't have to sugar coat it, Ayanami. I now how bad I did."

"Untrue," Rei corrected. "For a pilot with only a few months of training, you performed superbly." Rei threw a smile at the other boy. "And Shinji…maybe, when you advance far enough, you'll be able to last more than three minutes against me?"

Shinji leered. "You just be thankful it was a close range match. If we were playing Sniper King, I would have owned you all."

Rei let a flicker of a smile show through. "As you say, Shinji, as you say."

Toji cringed. "Harsh, man…you gonna take, Shinji?"

Shinji shrugged, smiling. "A little friendly competition never hurts. Especially when some of us _can't hit our targets!_"

Rei threw Shinji an annoyed look. "Will you never live that down?"

"Not so long as you keep hoarding over me in hand-to-hand."

"Is it my fault you have no coordination whatsoever?"

"Is it my fault you can't aim?"

"Settle down you two," Toji winced. "You're sounding like married couple."

That shut them up good.

xxxxx

The monoliths of SEELE hovered ominously in the dark room. Their numbers became their only identity, as Kaworu stared up at them, an uncaring look in his eyes.

"As you are aware," a voice sounded. It was not quite clear which of the monoliths had spoken. "Your introduction into the ranks of NERV is far ahead of schedule. But even so, the situation is well under control, now that the Commander is right under our very nose."

"We have not discerned whether or not they have grown suspicious of you as of yet," came the voice of another. "Have any of the pilots expressed any suspicions in you?"

"They have not," Kaworu said, nonchalantly. "Though they have made an issue of the margin in their and my sync ratios."

"Irrelevant," another monolith spoke. "As long as they do not suspect your true purpose."

Kaworu inclined his head. "Is there anything then, sirs?"

There was a pause.

"Your interactions with the other Nephilim," another one of them said. "You have been…unusually drawn to her. Explain this to us."

Kaworu couldn't help but smile. "You should know the answer to that, sirs. You made me, after all."

Thought the faces were invisible, Kaworu could practically seen the frown that spread across the board member's faces.

"This is hardly acceptable behavior," the voice said, sternly.

"How so?" Kaworu asked. "There is nothing wrong with simple conversation between us."

"It is not simple conversation," the voice said, "That worries us."

Kaworu smirked. "Why not just come out and say it, Keel? You're worried we might make first contact."

Another pause.

"Yes, Angel," the voice said. "That is our concern."

Kaworu sighed. "Don't worry, sirs. You have nothing to worry about. I have no such plans."

"See to it that you maintain that conviction," the old man said.

The monoliths winked off.

"You cannot change fate sirs," Kaworu said to the darkness. "You are fools if you try."

xxxxx

Asuka, now more than ever, was seriously minding her single status at that very moment.

"Can't you two do that somewhere else?" she growled as she threw Shinji and Rei a dirty look.

They weren't actually doing anything inappropriate. Rei was sitting on the couch with a look of absolute bliss on her face as Shinji sat behind her, massaging her shoulders.

"I would gladly move, Asuka," Rei spoke out, eyes closed. "But that would involve moving. And that is not something I wish to do at the moment."

Asuka was fuming with envy. Why does _she_ get the nice guy who kisses her and gives her back rubs?

Toji emerged from his room with a jersey. "Hey Red, have you seen my hat?"

Asuka didn't even look at him. "No, Monkey Face, I have not seen your hat."

There was an odd relationship between those two. While they passed insults and names back and forth, there was little to no antagonism with it.

Shinji glanced in Toji's direction and chuckled.

"You want to tell him, or should I?" he whispered to Rei.

She opened her eyes and saw what Shinji saw. "Suzuhara, look in the mirror."

There was a pause as he followed her instructions.

"Oh…I knew it was there all along."

Shinji and Rei just sighed.

Toji gave Shinji and Rei a look and smirked as he walked back into the room. "What? No massage for me?"

Shinji smirked back at the other boy. "You want one, you have to fight Rei for it."

Rei gave Toji an unmistakable look that said that if he were to in any way interrupt her session, his life was forfeit.

"Uh…no, never mind," Toji cringed. "Actually, Kaworu and I are headed down to the soccer field."

"We call it _football_ here, _dumkopf_," Asuka growled.

"Not in Japanese, we don't," Toji shot back.

"America and Japan are the only countries that call it soccer," Asuka argued. "Even in Australia, it's called football."

Toji shrugged. "As long as I'm speaking Japanese, I'm calling it soccer."

Asuka then proceeded to swear at him in German.

She was cut short, however, when Kaworu stepped in through the door.

"Hello everyone," he said, taking off his shoes, as they had all agreed on doing.

He got a mixed bag of return expressions. Asuka regarded him with a huff, her mood already offset by the two lovebirds. Shinji glanced at him, and turned away. They had not really been on speaking terms, and that had been before his "pointers" in the simulator. Toji, who had actually come to look up to him as a pilot and as the only other guy apart from Shinji (who wasn't much of a guy to begin with), gave a friendly wave. Rei, transfixed by Shinji's - she quickly decided - multitalented hands, had failed to even notice his arrival.

"You ready to go?" Toji asked, flexing his legs muscles.

"In a minute," Kaworu stepped through the living area. Glancing at the pair on the couch, he smiled. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, Rei."

Rei's eyes flitted open. "I am."

Despite her confirmation, her enjoyment of the moment had quickly subsided.

Kaworu smiled, before nodding to the boy. "Shinji."

Shinji nodded his head in his direction, but otherwise refused to acknowledge him, keeping his focus on the now unappreciated task at hand.

Kaworu smirked before walking up the short series of steps and disappearing into his room.

Rei turned around in the couch, halting Shinji's work. She was _not_ going to let that boy ruin her enjoyment of her time with Shinji (But wow, that would not be the last time he did _this_ for her if she had any say in it).

"Thank you," she said, sweetly, kissing him on the lips.

"I try," Shinji smiled.

Asuka threw her arms up in aggravation, but decided to hold up in her room rather than rant about it.

She didn't get very far when the alarm by the door sounding, filling the entire suite with a blaring siren.

"An Angel attack?"

xxxxx

"Sonograms just picked it up," Ritsuko said to Misato as they both stepped quickly towards the command center. "It's been tunneling under the south eastern border for some time now. The MAGI predict that it might have even come from the direction of Tokyo-3."

Misato blinked. "The hell? Why did it come from there? Did it think that we were there, and then take a detour?"

Ritsuko shook her head. "We don't know. We can worry about that later, we need to focus on stopping it. We have no ability to intercept it until it breaks the surface."

Misato bit her lip. "Where is it going to breach? Tell me it's not going to emerge down here in the Geo-Front."

Ritsuko frowned. "From our predictions, it's not. But just to be on the safe side, let's keep Toji on standby."

Misato bit her lip. "His first sortie. I don't know about this, Ritsuko. He just hasn't had enough time to prepare for real combat."

Ritsuko shook her head. "With any luck, we won't even have to use him. Besides, he's always been kept on reserve since he got here anyway. It'll be no different from the last time."

Misato rolled her eyes. "Last time we almost had it. I don't want any more mistakes like that."

Ritsuko nodded. "That goes for both of us.

xxxxx

On standby in the Eva cages, possibly minutes before battle, Kaworu's face appeared on Asuka's screen.

Asuka wasn't in the best of moods. "Let me guess. Another private chat?"

"You are as deductive as always, Miss Soryu," Kaworu nodded.

Asuka glared. "I'm not gonna strip for you if that's what you want."

Kaworu shook his head, sighing. "I wish to speak with you about Shinji."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "What's this even about? You've been acting like our last conversation never happened."

Kaworu nodded. "We shouldn't speak of this outside of this medium, because Section Two is constantly watching us. I spoke to you before to let you ponder the idea, and now that a fair amount of time has passed, I think we should speak in more depth on the topic."

Asuka sighed. "Sure, let's talk about it right as we're about to go off into battle, shall we?"

Kaworu shook his head. "After the battle. We'll meet. Rei will be Number One, and Shinji will be Number Two."

Before she could ask what the _hell_ he meant by that, Asuka gawked in surprise as Kaworu's face disappeared. "What is that creep after?"

xxxxx

"Captain!" Ritsuko shouted as she monitored the sonogram. "The Angel's about to breach! I'm transmitting the coordinates now!"

Misato nodded, fiddling with a stray lock of hair. The Commander had given her a stern talk after the last battle. Any more slip-ups and it would be her neck.

"It's emerging into the city!" Maya called from her station. "The MAGI predict that will begin tunneling once it's reach ground zero."

"Pilots!" Misato commanded. "Move to intercept point."

Misato and the rest of the bridge crew watched as the battle unfolded.

The 8th Angel had a stout, oval body, with two large, strong arms and a tail that looked like it was meant for swimming. It dragged its mass out of the hole it had dug and emerged into daylight and the falling snow.

All four Evas were there to meet it. Unit 01 and 00 provided cover fire, while 02 and 04 rushed the thing. Before they could reach it, however, it disappeared back into the hole in the ground.

"Sonogram!" Misato demanded. "Where is that thing?"

Makoto typed furiously. "Projecting the sonogram map to the entry plugs. The pilots will be able to monitor the Angel's movements underground."

Misato flash him a brief smile. "Good."

The tech blushed in response.

"Be careful guys," Misato went on, watching the Angel's movements. "It doesn't look like it's attacking the Geo-Front just yet. I guess for whatever reason, it feels like it has to destroy the Eva's first."

Shinji made a comment as to how comfortable that made him feel.

"Be glad," Misato smiled. "If it was, we'd have you fighting here in the Geo-Front."

The Angel erupted again. Kaworu and Asuka were waiting for it, and they both leapt on top of its body before it could burrow again.

"Ma'am!" Shigeru called. "I'm detecting multiple patterns in the Angel!"

"What?" Misato and Ritsuko yelped at the same time.

No sooner had the exclamation left their lips, when the angel's arms split off from the body.

"What the…?" Ritsuko gaped, as she watched the Angel's two arms literally come to life as though they had minds of their own, and suddenly dig into the ground, just as the Angel had.

_Of course…_ she thought. _The Angel of Birth._

"We've got multiple targets!" Misato hollered. "Shinji, Rei, after them! Kaworu and Asuka, you stay on that big one!"

Misato glared frantically at the sonogram, as she watched the three Angel's movements underground. It was bad enough with just one untouchable target, now they had three.

"Captain," Maya's voice sounded. "I'm getting some unusual patterns from all three targets. It looks like…it looks like they're growing."

Sure enough, as the two secondary angels emerged, they had grown in size, and had even developed nubs at their arms, and the bit of arm they had taken off their spawning point were developing into tails. The original Angel's arms were also slowly growing back.

"Captain," Ritsuko frowned. "I don't hesitate to speculate that those two will become fully formed before long. And when that happens, I'd be sure as hell it's going to multiply again. We need to finish off this Angel fast, before it becomes a plague on its own."

Misato bit her lip. Things were getting worse and worse.

The two angels that had emerged from the ground had attacked Kaworu and Asuka. They had fended them off, but had let go of the main body by doing so. Suddenly, three targets were moving around underground.

"This is bad…" Makoto reported. "The targets are growing at an accelerated rate. At this point, they're going to be full grown in less than two minutes!"

Misato bit her lip, tapping her foot.

The Angel's broke the surface again, and the Eva's scattered, taking them on one at a time. The Angel's shells were easy enough to penetrate with the prog knives it seemed, but every time they did, they just retreated underground until they were healed.

"The Angel's arms have reached their full size!" Shigeru announced. "The same pattern is emerging as before in all three Angels. Ma'am…they're going to multiply again!"

Ritsuko clenched a fist. "That means there'll be nine targets! Captain, the pilots won't be able to handle something like that!"

Misato bit her lip. Her mind worked overtime.

"We need options, Captain!"

Misato punched in a command, before called up Shinji's entry plug. "Shinji, I'm sending you a positron rifle. How many shots do you think you can pull of in five seconds?"

"If my target's are this size…" Shinji thought it out, "…I think I can take out three. The only problem is they won't stay out of the ground long enough."

Misato smirked. "I can fix that for you."

She gave the order to send up a positron rifle, before throwing Ritsuko a look.

"Launch Unit 03!"

The techs looked oddly at her, but knew they were too short on time to be questioning orders. The black mech shot up the catapult like a rocket.

Quite suddenly on screen, all three Angel's shot out of the ground almost as fast.

"Shinji! Fire!"

xxxxx

"You wanna run that one by me again, Misato?"

Ritsuko, the Captain, and all five pilots were walking down the hall after the battle took place. Misato, proud of her pilots, decided to treat them to a snack for their efforts.

"It's simple," Misato smiled. "In biology class, our teacher used electrical pulses to drive worms out of the ground. I basically did the same thing."

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think powers the catapult?" Misato said. "Electricity. And it takes a lot of power to move something the size of an Evangelion that far at that speed. Once it's launched, there's an incredible discharge. Rather than risk a short circuit, the excess power is grounded into the surrounding soil. So, by launching Unit 03, I shot a pulse through the Earth. The Angel's couldn't have enjoyed it too much, so they shot out of the ground as fast as they could."

Ritsuko frowned. "That's risking an awful lot on a hunch Misato."

Misato smiled. "Don't be so mean."

As the pilots conversed among themselves, all Toji could do was sulk.

"You mean to tell me that all they needed me for was for my catapult?"

xxxxx

December 24th, 20015

The day after the last Angel attack, the pilots were celebrating old Chris Cringle's holiday. And once again, Asuka found herself swollen with envy.

"Hey, Rei," Shinji offered. "Want to go somewhere to celebrate the holidays?"

Asuka tuned them out as she seethed. Once again, she confirmed, she hated being single.

"Hey, Red," Toji came in, sipping a drink. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"We call it _St. Niklaus_ day here, you dolt," Asuka growled. "And it's none of your business what I'm doing."

Toji shrugged it off and headed out. Shinji and Rei had already gone.

Asuka huffed, throwing herself on the couch. All her other friends were doing stuff, and her fellow pilots all had things going on. What had happened to make her life so boring?

That's when Kaworu stepped out of his room.

"Care for an outing?"

Asuka hadn't even known he was there. "Jeez! Warn a girl next time you pop out of nowhere!"

Kaworu walked towards the door, slipping on his coat. "The cafés downtown serve wonderful hot drinks this time of year. Care to join me?"

Asuka pondered her situation. If she weren't to go, what would she do otherwise? And Kaworu was a cool guy, and he knew his way around town, so she wouldn't have to worry about losing him.

"Sure, why not?"

xxxxx

When Kozo Fuyutsuki arrived at work that day, he did not except that his life would soon be changing. Possibly for the worse.

"Sir, the Supreme Commander of NERV would like to see you in his office right away," his secretary said.

Fuyutsuki's eyes widened. "What on earth would Commander Soryu want?"

He found his answer shortly there afterwards.

"…Gendo."

The man in question got up from his desk, straightened his glasses. "Surprised, my old friend?"

Fuyutsuki couldn't stop his jaw from lazing just a touch. "When did you become the Commander of the First Branch?"

Gendo smiled. "Some weeks ago. The old men saw fit to replace that old fossil, Soryu."

"Gendo, I…Commander Ikari," Fuyutsuki stammered. HE didn't know where to begin. "Why haven't I heard from you until now?"

Gendo inclined his head. "You'll understand I've been busy. That's part of the reason you're here."

Fuyustuki relaxed a touch. "When I heard about Yui, I-"

"Don't," Gendo said, suddenly. "I have business matters to discuss with you."

Fuyutsuki frowned. "What is it?"

Gendo smiled again. "I'm in need of Sub Commander. Interested?"

xxxxx

Asuka and Kaworu sipped lightly on their steaming mugs as they sat indoors. The winter frost was ever prevalent outside, and the windows were fogging up with the cold.

"So…" Asuka said after a short amount of time. "Why are we here? We both know this wasn't a social call."

Kaworu smiled. "Would you like it to be?"

Asuka's glare gave him all the encouragement he needed.

"Very well then," Kaworu smiled. "Alright, listen: Number One and Number Two are at the museum just across the street from this café."

Kaworu's comment from before suddenly came to Asuka's mind, as she quickly deducted the meaning of the code names. She glanced out the window. She hadn't even noticed the museum there before.

"You sure about that?"

Kaworu nodded. "I was keeping an eye on them as we came here. Didn't you see them?"

Asuka look sourly at him. "How come you can do all these things that don't seem possible? Communicating on a private line, even from the bridge crew? Appearing and disappearing at a moment's notice? And now spying on someone while holding a conversation all the way here? What gives?"

Kaworu smiled. "Call it talent, call it training, call it what you will…I've always been…gifted, let's say."

Asuka snorted, looking away.

"On to business then?" Kaworu said, detecting that the conversation was over. "I have a plan that's almost guaranteed to work."

Asuka's eyes turned to him. "Yeah? Like…what kind of plan?"

Kaworu smiled. "It will involve separating the two of them for a time. With any luck, Number Two will go straight home. If you encounter him there, you'll have your chance."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "_Dumkopf_, I've _tried_ putting the moves on him, the guy's like a brick wall!"

Kaworu leered. "Not after what's about to happen today."

xxxxx

After leaving the museum, Shinji and Rei sat down at the small cafeteria by the entrance.

"That was enjoyable," Rei commented. "I have seen many copies of most of those paintings, but they are a far cry from the real thing."

Shinji nodded, leaning back, glad to be off his legs after nearly an hour of standing and walking. "It's one of the reasons I didn't mind moving to this country. Let's go the symphony later, I know it will be amazing."

Rei smiled. "I believe that is a sound idea."

She shivered as someone came in through the door, sending a chill wind that enveloped them both. "I do wish the seats were a bit farther from the door."

Shinji nodded. "I know. Want me to get some hot chocolate? That'll warm you up."

Rei smiled. "Yes please."

"I'll be right back," Shinji said, getting to his feet and standing in line at the register.

Rei bundled her coat and silently wished for an alternative means of warmth.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself," came a familiar sounding voice.

Rei threw a glance in the direction of the voice, and sure enough, Kaworu Nagisa was standing there, smiling.

"As talented as you are at piloting Eva, Nagisa," Rei replied. "Your pickup lines are somewhat lacking."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, sitting next to her.

Rei glanced at him. While neither Shinji nor herself had expressed it, she was under the impression that she was on a date. It somehow didn't feel appropriate for Kaworu to be there at all.

"So, what did you get him?" Kaworu asked.

"Hmm?" Rei blinked.

"For Christmas," Kaworu clarified. "It's traditional to buy gifts on Christmas."

Rei blinked. She had known about it, and yet…the thought had somehow not crossed her mind. She had never bought gifts for anyone, not even Shinji in the past. Why should she now?

Kaworu shrugged. "Well, I imagine Shinji bought you something. As much as he has to offer elsewhere, he'd have to maximize on what he _can_ do."

Rei frowned. "What are you implying?"

Kaworu smiled. "I think you know. A boy like him has very little to offer. You may think you see something in him. But you don't. You're just fooling yourself."

Rei's piercing glare did not subside. "I do not like where this conversation is going, Nagisa."

"Only because you don't want to admit it to yourself."

Rei shook.

"You look cold," Kaworu said, taking her hand from across the table. He was confident, absolutely confident, that he could win her over.

Rei glared at her own hand, urging it to pull back. She couldn't do it. His touch felt so…warm…

"You can deny me all you want, Rei," Kaworu said. "It won't change the way things are…and it won't change fate."

Rei looked at him. "What do you mean?"

Kaworu smiled, warmly. "We are fated to be together, Rei. Sooner or later, you're going to have to accept it."

Rei denied it. She denied it with every ounce of her soul. But God help it, her body refused to cooperate.

"So ask yourself," Kaworu went on. "Are you going to linger on with this poseur, or are you going to submit to your true feelings."

Rei found that her skin was heating up. Why did he have to be so God damn beautiful!

"Well?" Kaworu said, leaning closer to her.

Rei's breath quickened. What was this heated sensation that was building up inside of her? Why did she suddenly want to close the distance between their bodies?

Why the hell was he so fucking desirable!

She shivered as his hand came up to stroke her face. She became completely oblivious to the rest of the world, and his touch was all that seemed to exist. It dominated every iota of her consciousness. She found herself unable to pull away, as he leaned over across the table and kissed her.

That was it. She couldn't resist it any longer. She had been holding herself back for so long. Her mind had always, always, prevailed over he bodily urges. Every single one of Shinji's advances in the past had been a battle with her feelings. She wanted –desperately wanted – to consummate with him. Yet her mind told her that if they were to do so, it would impair their futures.

Still, he had pursued her. And slowly, the wall had been worn down. It was Kaworu, however, who broke the damn that she had held back for so long.

She kissed him back, fully and completely. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. He was right; she was instinctively drawn to him. He was so passionate, the way he kissed her. He smelled good, tasted good, felt good…

She felt herself become overwhelmed as kissed her, her mind ablaze with fire, her skin tingling, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end.

She was so rapt with passion that she failed to notice the sound of two Styrofoam cups dropping not ten feet away.

xxxxx

_Why the hell are you running?_ He demanded.

He didn't really want to answer that question. He didn't really even want to think about the reason. As far as he knew at that moment in time, there was something he desperately, desperately didn't want to see that he was running from. Maybe if he ran faster, he'd forget it ever happened.

_I mustn't run away…_

Why had he seen what he'd seen? Why had he let himself fall into this trap? Why did he have be in love with someone who clearly desired someone else?

She never kissed _him_ like that. And certainly, she'd never let him put his hands where the other boy had.

_I mustn't run away…_

He was tired. Tired of himself, of Eva, of his life, of the world; he was tired of everything.

And so he ran. He ran from everything he'd ever wanted. The only thing he ever knew. He didn't care about piloting Eva. He didn't care about going to school. He didn't even care for his friends or his family as much as he cared about her.

_I mustn't run away…_

And so he ran. Away from every hope and dream he'd ever had. Away from the life he'd wanted to share with her. Away from love and from happiness, from the one he believed, the one he had known, would be with him forever.

_I mustn't run away…_

And so he ran…

xxxxx

Asuka didn't know whether or not to believe the kid or not. Had it not been for his impeccable display of being able to do the seemingly impossible, she would have blown him off entirely. But there was that lingering hope, the possibility that he was right, and she wanted, desperately wanted to believe it.

So she waited at home, watching TV, enjoying her Christmas Eve in silent solitude.

Moments later, Shinji came barreling through the door.

_The hell?_ Asuka thought as he ran past her, not even taking his shoes off, rushing to h is room and slamming the door.

"What the…what did Kaworu _do_ to him?" Asuka pondered as she stepped over to his room. She held her fist up to knock, hesitating. This was the first she had gone into his room.

She knocked.

"Shinji?" Asuka voiced. "Are you okay?"

No reply.

"Shinji?"

When he didn't reply again, she opened the door.

The lights were off and Shinji was on his bed, his music blasting at full volume in his ears. Asuka knew Shinji well enough to know that he only did that when he was frustrated, angry…or sad.

And judging from his tears, she could guess what he was feeling.

_Kaworu must have done something horrible…_ Asuka thought. _I've never seen Shinji act like this…_

"Hey," she whispered kindly, placing hand on his back.

Shinji flinched but did not respond.

"What happened, Shinji?"

Still no answer.

"Come on, Shinji, tell me," Asuka said. "You can trust-"

She was cut off, however, when Shinji suddenly sat up, grabbed her and kissed her.

xxxxx

A/N: Longest chapter yet. This is a scene that I've wanted to write since beginning the Kaworu story arc. Where it will go and what it will lead to will be a secret for now. Some might see it coming, others might be surprised. Either way, I'm going with it.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

December 24th, 2015

Misato stood at attention, as the Commander introduced his Sub-Commander, Kozo Fuyutsuki as everyone stood at attention at the Command Center. As the bridge crew whispered back and forth with their comments on the changing executives, the Sub-Commander's origins, and, in Ritsuko's case, her views on conversing while the Commanders were talking, Misato was deep in thought.

The Commanders of NERV were not the only things that were changing. Her pilots, whom she had known for the better part of a year, were changing. Shinji and Rei always used to cooperate in their training, and now they resorted to training on more spate terms. They'd grown so out of sync since the misfire in campaign of the 7th Angel, and it was getting worse.

Toji was showing slow growth at best. Misato was starting to lose patience with the boy's learning curve. Kaworu seemed to have peaked much earlier on, and wasn't showing any growth or decrease, which wasn't bad news at least. What confused Misato was the fact that she'd never so much as _seen_ the boy outside his Eva. Where did he _go_ during the day? Even Asuka, who had given heart to the Eva project, was losing her spunk.

She wasn't sure how or why things were turning out the way they were. She had thought she'd known her pilots well enough. Maybe if they were still in Tokyo-3. Maybe if Yui Ikari were still alive…

Misato bit her lip as the Commanders went onto the matters of the day.

"I wonder what the pilots are up to now..."

xxxxx

Asuka's eyes had flown open in an instant. He was kissing her. _He_ was kissing _her_! Here she was, sitting Shinji Ikari's room, and he was _kissing_ her! How often had she dreamed of him doing this to her? She hadn't even dared hope for even a kind smile that evening, and now…

Shinji gradually parted with her, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders. She could see fresh tears in his eyes as he slumped, hanging on her shoulders. He looked broken, she decided. Like something inside of him just stopped working.

Asuka managed to speak. "Shinji…"

She didn't get to say more, as Shinji suddenly crumpled, burying his face in her lap, sobs shaking his whole body.

Asuka stared down at him, stunned. If the situation were different, she would have been pretty turned on by the boy's head in her lap. But a whole other emotion took her as she stroked the boy's hair.

_Kaworu…_ she thought. _What did you _do_ to him?_

xxxxx

"More Evangelion units?" Misato asked out loud.

Gendo Ikari, once known only as Yui's reclusive Sub-Commander husband, sat sternly in the Commander's seat at NERV, an unmistakable air of seriousness enshrouding him. "That's correct," he said. "We have reason to believe that future Angel attacks will be beyond our current ability to repel. The last two campaigns have been too close to failure, thus I feel the added support is essential. I've just spoken with the UN. They've unanimously voted to increase our budget to accommodate the further production of Evangelions."

Misato frowned. That last bit was a load of bullshit. She had dealt with the UN before, and knew as well as anyone that the people in the UN were anything but spendthrift, particularly in matters pertain to NERV. Something else was going on behind the scenes.

Was Kaji right?

"What about pilots?" Misato asked, steering the conversation away from the obvious lie in the Commander's speech.

Ritsuko produced a handful of papers, handing them to Misato. "The Marduk report has already located the Sixth and Seventh Children. We estimate that they will locate two more, making that nine in total. In lieu of this, four additional Evangelion units are slated for production, to be released systematically over the course of the next year. As the Eva's arrive, the next child in line will be sent in to pilot it."

Misato bit her lip. That didn't sit well with her at all. She turned her gaze back to the Commander. "With all due respect, Sir, I fail to see the logic in this. The Fourth Child has been in constant training since his arrival two months ago, and has yet to be of use in combat. What good will more inexperienced recruits such as that do us?"

"Do not underestimate the Evangelions, Captain, or their pilots," Gendo said, tersely. "The Fourth Child's abilities may be insignificant now, but in the time frame that we are looking at, he shall be on par with the rest of the pilots when the Angel attacks grow in severity. The same shall be true for the rest of the pilots."

"In any case," Ritsuko added. "They will not be entirely untrained. Basic training is being held at the Third Branch as we speak."

"Back in Tokyo-3, huh?" Misato mused, glaring at the list candidates, as well as Evangelion units 05 through 08. The Evas were all military colors - dark green, brown, tan, and navy blue. They all had the same snarling production model faces that Unit 03 and 04 had, and they were each equipped with the latest iteration of the S2 engine, which were 18 percent more efficient than the one in Unit 03 and 04.

"When can I expect the first of these to arrive?" Misato asked aloud.

Ritsuko nodded. "The second week of January. The Sixth Child should be in Germany by then." Ritsuko cracked a smile. "So don't worry, Misato, you won't get snowed out of your first New Year's celebration in Germany. I know how much you enjoy the local brews."

Misato tried to smile at the joke. "Yeah, I'll get to celebrate _my_ New Year just in time to ruin it for someone else."

Ritsuko nodded, sighing. "You know, Misato...I really hate it when you're right."

xxxxx

After Shinji got most of his tears out of the way, Asuka fixed Shinji a bowl of soup and they both sat together at the table in the kitchenette.

"Now tell me everything," Asuka said comfortingly.

Shinji took a sip from his soup. It was surprisingly good. "I guess it's fate…"

Asuka gave him an odd look. "What do you mean?"

"She looked so _happy_," Shinji sighed. "They looked…they looked so _perfect_ together. Like it was meant to be or something…"

That told Asuka all she needed. Those were the same words Kaworu had used. _So he's upset about Rei_, Asuka sighed. But at least Kaworu hadn't seriously hurt him.

"Shinji…" Asuka reached across the table, taking his hand. Shinji shuddered but did not resist. "Maybe you're wrong, maybe you're right…but even if it _is_ fate…what does it matter to you? What is it that _you_ want?"

Shinji rested his weight on the table, not bothering to answer.

"Shinji…" Asuka pressed. "Why did you…kiss me…?"

Shinji shook his head. "I don't know…I guess…I just wanted to feel something other than sadness…"

Asuka frowned. "That's not fair, Shinji…I'm not here to be your safety net. If you want my affection, you have to give me something in return."

Shinji just sat there, unable to come up with anything to say to make things better.

Asuka was still holding his hand across the table, and tightened her grip. "I'm willing, Shinji. I'm willing to help you through this. You _know _I've always been willing, I _know _you know."

Asuka leaned over the table and kissed him without hesitation. He did not fight it. He didn't contribute either, but Asuka didn't care. She wanted this. She had wanted this since the day she met him.

"Now, I know you've had a rough day, and that right now, you're not in a position to try to think hard about things," Asuka said, parting with him, an eager smile on her face. "So I'm going to make this _very_ easy on you…"

Asuka got to her feet, and leaned so that her mouth was right up against Shinji's ear.

"…If you follow me to my bedroom," Asuka whispered in a husky voice, "You _will_ get some…"

Asuka let that hang as Shinji's eyes flew open. She smiled, privately - hook, line and sinker.

Shinji hesitated, his breath coming out in large gasping pants. Asuka, for her part, stood up and headed to her room. Shinji, without word, got to his feet and followed.

xxxxx

Maya was secretly thankful that Kyoko had lightened up a bit. Now, instead of being a grouchy bitch, she was back to being a bragging bitch. Not quite as painful to deal with, but still a bitch. Maya's one condolence was the presence of one Ritsuko Akagi in such interactions.

"With these new Evangelion units, we'll have to double the size of the facility!" Professor Soryu exclaimed, excitedly as she strode down the hall, her two subordinate scientists following suit. "I can hardly wait!"

"I need not remind you we are still on a rather tight budget," Ritsuko said.

"Oh, must you always remind me?" Kyoko pouted. "We're scientists! Artificial concepts such as money can't limit us."

Ritsuko sighed. "No, but the law of conservation of energy can."

Kyoko pretended not to hear her. "So, when are the new Eva's coming in? I want to see what they've done with these new S2 engines."

Ritsuko smiled. "The Commander always used to tell me that-"

"The Commander?" Kyoko interrupted. "You mean the current one, or the late one?"

Ritsuko frowned. "The, ah…late Commander…used to-"

"Not that it makes much difference anyway," the red head shrugged. "Though I do wish Gendo had more in mind for the sciences."

Ritsuko furrowed her brow. "I…I beg your pardon Professor, but-"

"What?" Kyoko smirked. "It _does_ make a difference? Don't think I didn't know about your little hero-worship thing going on with Yui. She told me all about how you'd get all flustered when she was around. She couldn't understand it at all. But I knew all too well."

Ritsuko drew in her breath. Where had all _this_ come from?

"Professor, I don't think that's–"

"And then, as soon as she's gone, you start glomming onto her husband for sentimental support?"

"Professor," Ritsuko gaped, blushing. She had not expected her to notice _that_.

Soryu threw Ritsuko a deadly gaze. "Don't think I haven't noticed the looks you've been giving him. Thinking of moving on, are we?"

Ritsuko was glaring now. The redhead's verbal barbs were hitting her all too deep. "Professor, this conversation is entirely inappropriate!"

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu just shrugged. "I'm a scientist, Akagi. The truth is everything. And if you can't accept the truth, then you don't deserve to call yourself a scientist."

Ritsuko stopped walking. Maya had also stopped, mostly out of shock for what she had just seen. Kyoko strode on, the event almost entirely forgotten.

"Senpai…" Maya breathed, looking at Ritsuko's sunken head. "I…she…that woman really scares me, Senpai…"

Ritsuko just took a deep breath. "She's a bitch, Maya. She's cunning, ruthless, and resourceful. But she's also a genius. Everything she said about me, Maya…everything she said was true. She may have said it out of spite, but it doesn't change the fact that it's the truth."

Maya gasped as Ritsuko's suddenly clutched her young shoulders.

"What should I do, Maya?" Ritsuko began to sob. "I've devoted my life to science, and had so little to myself. But then the Commander…Yui…she…"

Maya didn't know what to make of what she was witnessing. Here was her senior, whom she had known and respected since joining NERV, and she was spilling her heart out to her.

Cautiously, Maya stroked the blonde's shoulders. "It's okay, Senpai…there's still a lot more to do in life, right? I mean, you've still got so many years left to live, it's not like you've wasted them all here. I think it's wonderful that you had feelings for Yui. And even if you faun over the Commander, at least you'll know that you haven't lost those emotions, right? So don't feel guilty about how you feel, Senpai…okay?"

Ritsuko sniffed again, her whole body shaking as she clutched one of the few people she could trust. She dried her eyes and gave the short haired girl a warm smile. "Thank you, Maya. I'm sorry to have to dump all this on you…"

"Please, Senpai…" Maya smiled. "We all need some emotional support now and then. If you ever want to talk…I'm always here, okay?"

Ritsuko smiled back at her, this time truly revitalized. "Thank you, Maya. That really means a lot to me."

The young tech just smiled back.

With a new feeling of kinship and understanding, the two ladies resumed their steady march within the artificial Geo-Front.

xxxxx

"_Programme ende_."

Toji shook his head clean of LCL as he exited the test plug.

"You're getting better, Toji," Kaworu smiled, already out of his test plug. "You'll be on par with Shinji in no time."

Toji surprised himself by blushing at the compliment. Kaworu was fun to hang out with, but sometimes he felt that maybe he was getting _too_ relaxed around the guy. With Hikari waiting for him back in Tokyo-3, he was practically celibate as it was. Despite his protests to Asuka's prodding, he was finding it difficult to resist some of the local beauties. He was a growing boy after all. It was confusing enough without spending time with the effeminate boy.

"I'd be satisfied if I could even contribute to a fight," Toji sighed, not letting his embarrassment show. "The way they've been using me, I feel like the runt of the litter."

Kaworu nodded, following Toji as he strode down the hall. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. You must remember to be patient. Your fellow pilots and I have been training for practically all our lives."

Toji shook his head. "That's what I'm saying. You guys have such a lead over me, _and_ you're still advancing. Even _if_ I ever get to your level, you'll all have advanced even further."

Kaworu shrugged. "Well, our sync ratios _do_ peak after a while. We all have our thresholds. Who knows? You may find your best to be even greater than mine."

Toji sighed, opening the door to the locker room, stepping into the eerily sanitary white room. "That'll be the day."

Kaworu smiled as he quickly slid out of his plug suit, not bothering to cover himself as he casually entered the shower.

Toji cringed at Kaworu's lack of modesty. "Damn foreigners…" he muttered under his breath as his eyes caught more then they wanted, a slight twinge of envy in his voice.

"Did you say something?" Kaworu's voice sounded amidst the steam coming from the showers.

"Nothing," Toji grunted.

xxxxx

Rei was pacing the halls of NERV. She could not recall feeling more guilty in her life. She couldn't believe what she'd done. Kaworu had simply approached her, and she'd given into him. She'd reacted _exactly_ the way he wanted her to. She had been completely unable to resist. Every single neuron in her brain had said no, but neither her body nor her voice had been able to protest. She felt so weak…so helpless…so completely out of control…

Yet, something about the whole feeling made feel aroused all over again!

Shinji never made her feel that way to this extent! He made her feel nice to be sure, but Rei had always been able to fend him off when things got too serious. Shinji was a charming, good-looking boy in her mind. But Kaworu…

Rei nearly collapsed as she recalled the way he touched her. Just thinking about the pale boy sent chills up her spine. She couldn't stop picturing his face, his captivating eyes, his effervescent scent, his strong, lithe build and…

This time she really did collapse.

Why in God's name did Kaworu have to be so damn _gorgeous_?

Rei got to her feet and started walking. She wanted to see Shinji, but she was afraid to face him. She couldn't face him, not like this – not while every cell in her body screamed for someone else.

Rei froze realizing her right hand had unconsciously drifted south. She looked down at the offending limb in disbelief. What the hell was _wrong_ with her? Why was she reacting so strongly to this boy? Not only could she not get her mind off of him, but her body as well? How was she supposed to go on like this?

She removed her hand from its lecherous wandering.

It was damp.

She cried.

"Rei?"

The voice had come from down the hall. It was a voice she knew. And there were tragically few people who referred to her by her first name.

Shinji had been scheduled for a test that day, though his mind was on anything but. Wandering towards the locker rooms, he had spied Rei down the hall. A split second later, he saw that she was crying.

He wanted to go to her. He should be going to her. If he had a scrap of decency left him, he would have gone to her.

Rei watched the boy she loved take a step forward, and she was afraid. She watched him lift his foot for another step, before stopping.

She saw the guilt in his eyes. She saw her own tragic self-hatred reflected on his face. What he had to feel guilty for she did not know. But time seemed to disappear, as the two of them stood frozen.

Rei's lips breathed his name on words laid with tears.

Shinji didn't reply. His eyes seemed to wither. Then he took a step backwards, away from her.

Then he took another step back.

And another step.

And another.

And another.

xxxxx

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I left you off on a sad note. Go ahead and hate me. I've planned this out all the way to the end, and I've too far to stop now.

This was done almost entirely on my palm pilot, and I've spent the majority of the day fixing all the apostrophe's and quotation marks and ellipses that didn't quite solidity. So sue me, I'm fastidious.

And yes, Asuka's pickup line was borrowed from "The Wedding Singer." Please don't sue me, Mr. Sandler!

Read and review.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

December 25th, 2015

The snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Alle Jahre wieder… Kommt das Christuskind…_"

Kaworu stood in the frigid morning cold, the lights from the street slowly winking out. Alone among the wicked, and wicked among the alone.

And the snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Auf die Erde nieder… Wo wir Menschen sind…_"

All things were destined according to a plan. These humans were a means to an end, as was he. The choices they made, Kaworu knew, were in vain.

And still the snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Kehrt mit seinem Segen… Ein in jedes Haus…_"

Light began to shine, and the truth of the matter was all the more clear. He was bound to his fate. For now, there was peace.

And yet, the snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Geht auf allen Wegen… Mit uns ein und aus…_"

He never wondered whether or not he did the right thing - being the Angel of Free Will, didn't he have a choice? Did anyone?

And yet the snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Steht auch mir zur Seite… Still und unerkann…_"

What good did all this do, if everything would come to an end? What was the point of hurting those who he resembled and fighting those of his ilk?

Alas, the snow fell.

As did all things.

"_Dass es treu mich leite… An der lieben Hand…_"

As Kaworu finished the carol, he sighed, feeling somewhat more at peace. This time of year always got him thinking of things.

He had to maintain his present course. Even though it would hurt those he knew he should be protecting, fate did not allow for such measures.

For now, he would remain…

…And he returned to his life…

…Leaving behind a world of winter…

xxxxx

It was not a merry Christmas.

Rei sat on the couch, her gift from Ritsuko and Maya discarded beside her. The tiny fake Christmas tree by the TV glittered in tiny reds and greens. Toji's rather pathetic attempt at breakfast lay strewn across the breakfast table. Asuka was spending Christmas at her parents. Kaworu, having received nothing from anyone, munched cheerfully on a slice of toast, as though nothing were amiss.

Toji wore his Christmas gift proudly that morning in the pilot's suite. His parents had sent him some stuff overseas for the holidays, but Hikari had made him a red wool sweater with holly leaves woven right into it. It looked, as Asuka would later put it, "like he was wearing a tree," but Toji was just so thrilled that Hikari had given him something, that he just didn't care.

The phone rang and Kaworu answered it. "Hello?" There was a pause, before he offered it to Toji. "It's for you."

Toji got up and took the phone from the boy. "Hello? Hikari! Merry Christmas to you too! Yeah I got your gift. No, I love it!"

Toji happily took the cordless to his room, conversing all the way, closing the door behind him.

Kaworu took that opportunity to sit next to Rei. "Merry Christmas, Rei. I got something for you as well."

Rei blushed. She wanted to push him away. She wanted so much not to be near him. She knew exactly what would happen should they stay in such close proximity for too long.

But try as she might…

"I…thank you…"

Kaworu produced a small, wrapped package and handed it to her. She unwrapped it with shaking hands. Inside was a small piece of jewelry – a brooch pin. She had about a half a second to identify the brooch as mistletoe before Kaworu kissed her.

Her eyes flew open.

No. Not this again.

They were alone. Toji would be talking for hours in his room. If this kept up, Kaworu would have her completely at his mercy. But as Kaworu deepened the kiss, she couldn't help but kiss him back. Her very blood decreed her movements.

Kaworu just smiled, as his hands began to explore her body. He knew she couldn't resist him. Lilith would forever be drawn to Adam, as he was to her.

It was fate.

And there was no stopping fate.

But Rei tried. And she failed.

All she managed a soft whimper of sorrow, before melting into him. Her body was completely out of her control. She was powerless.

Like a doll.

She tried to stop him.

She tried, desperately, to stop what she knew was coming.

And she failed.

xxxxx

Shinji didn't get out of his bed that morning. He was sleeping in the NERV sleeping quarters within the Geo-Front. He had been wandering its halls for the entire night, before succumbing to sleep, finding the nearest lodge and turning in for as many hours as he could before morning.

He didn't expect to hear a knock on his door.

"Shinji?" came a voice.

The boy was awake. But he didn't feel like getting up. Or answering. The voice sounded familiar, but Shinji was too depressed to put a face to it.

"Shinji, I know you're in there," came the voice again. "Please…open up."

Shinji didn't respond.

The speaker opened the door. "Shinji, I'm coming in."

Shinji just curled up tighter.

The speaker flicked on the lights and walked up to him, touching the bed sheets. "Shinji?"

Shinji uncovered his face and looked up at his operation's director's concerned face. "Captain? What are you doing here?"

Misato shrugged her shoulders. "Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas."

Shinji sat up. He of course knew that there was more to her intrusion than the subject of the holidays.

"So, what's the matter?" Misato asked, sitting next to him. "Women trouble?"

Shinji sat up. "It's not your business, Misato. There's nothing you can do to help anyway."

Misato shrugged. "Try me. I know more than you think."

Shinji raised an eyebrow.

Misato scanned the bare room. "It was troubling me, how little of the Fifth Child I saw outside of NERV, so I tapped into the Section Two files to get a bead on his whereabouts. Among other things, I saw something rather…interesting…"

Shinji buried his face in his knees. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Now, just so you know," Misato assured. "It's within my power, and it's within NERV's power, to have Kaworu restrained from interacting with Rei outside of piloting. With the effect it's having on your sync rates, it'd just be a matter of signing paper. Just say the word, and he's out of her life, and yours."

Had Misato known of the pale boy's origins, she would never had made such a claim. She had neglecting in mentioning her other find in her research: that for roughly twenty percent of every week, not even Section Two had any record of Kaworu's whereabouts. The boy could disappear when he wanted to. So, even as it was, Misato was not a hundred percent sure if what she had just said was correct. But she didn't need it to be.

"But, Shinji, I don't think that will solve this problem you're in," Misato crossed her arms. "You need to confront Kaworu, and you need to confront Rei. Only you can solve this problem, Shinji."

Shinji shook his head. "It's more complicated than that, Misato."

Misato blinked. "What do you mean?"

Shinji began to cry, his face still buried in the starched sheets. "I…Asuka and I…"

Misato frowned, nodding. "You did something you regret with Asuka, and now you feel guilty about it?"

Shinji didn't respond. All he could do was weep.

Misato reached out and touched the boy's shoulders. "I understand the need for affection, Shinji. You might have heard the stories floating around about me and Mister Kaji. They say all's fair in love and war, Shinji. It doesn't matter what you did with Asuka, and it doesn't matter what Rei did with Kaworu either."

Shinji sobbed again. "How can you say that?"

"Do you want her back, Shinji?"

Shinji lifted his head and glared at the Captain. "What did you say?"

Misato returned his fierceness. "Do you want her back?"

Shinji gaped at the simplicity of the Captain's question. How could it be that simple? You couldn't just undo the things they had both done.

Shinji got up and went to the door, his clothes slept in. "Merry Christmas to you too, Captain."

Misato watched, disappointed as Shinji left without another word.

xxxxx

Ryota and Kyoko Soryu tried not to let their daughter's obvious distraction from the holiday cheer worry them. They had each known instantly, looked and each other and each known the other had known. If nothing else could be said for the Soryu's, their synergy was spot on.

After they had gone through the tree and presents, Kyoko demonstrated her skill in the kitchen by fixing up a Christmas feast. By lunchtime, which was actually the time slot in which "dinner" was usually served on such occasions, the two parents decided to the broach the subject of Asuka's distraction.

"Darling, what's the matter?" Kyoko asked, serving herself a piece of roast, before passing the tray on. "You've been silent all day. Is something the troubling you?"

Asuka stared down at her food. "Well…"

Ryota coughed into his napkin. "Be as vague as you want to, dear. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. Just remember, we're hear to help you."

Asuka nodded. She always liked the understanding she and her parents had, particularly when it came to the anonymity of her social life.

"Well, there's this guy," Asuka began. "And I've had a crush on him for a long time – more than a year, as a matter of fact. But he was already dating this other girl. Anyway, yesterday, a friend of mine tells me that he's interested in the girl's the boy's dating, and he tells me that he's going to make a move on her. Then, later, I find the boy I have a crush on, and…well, he kisses me…"

Ryota and Kyoko both nodded. "Go on…"

"And that was it," Asuka lied. "I don't know what to make of it. Obviously, he found out the girl he was going out with was involved with someone else. But, I mean, I _want_ to go out with him…but I keep feelings like it's not really _me_ he's interested in…and I'd just be taking advantage of him…"

There was a pause as Ryota took a long drink from his cider. "Asuka, you know how proud I've been of you. From the moment you were born, you kept surprising us with your amazing ability to learn and understand situations. Now, once again, you've made us proud."

Kyoko nodded in agreement. "Yes indeed. You've already solved your problem, sweetheart. You just told us that you know the right thing to do. What you seem to be stumbling over is whether or not you should."

Asuka nodded, uncomfortably. "Yeah…"

Ryota nodded, spooning some mashed potatoes into his mouth. "We trust you to make the right decision, Asuka. And always remember that we're here for you and that we love you."

Kyoko nodded. "That's right."

Asuka nodded. "Thank you. Both of you."

Asuka smiled and went back to her food.

But none of her problems were solved.

xxxxx

Shinji had left his temporary lodge, but hadn't left the Geo-Front. He didn't dare set foot back at the suite. It was just too likely he'd run into Rei. Or Kaworu.

But then, it was just as likely that he'd run into them here too. Here, at least, he could keep his distance if he saw them.

So he decided to keep a sharp eye out for any unwanted encounters.

Which didn't include the resident faux blonde doctor.

"Merry Christmas, Shinji," Ritsuko said, cheerfully.

Shinji looked up and smiled as convincingly as he could. "Merry Christmas Doctor Akagi."

Needless to say, the good Doctor was far from convinced.

"This is the first time you've spent the night at NERV, Shinji," she said, casually. "Heck of a day to be working overtime. I'd have thought you'd be with your father. Or at least with the other pilots."

Shinji didn't reply.

"I suppose there's no point in asking why, as I'm sure you're aware of how little goes on within the confines of this city that goes unnoticed by the staff of NERV."

Again, Shinji was silent.

"Sometimes, things happen, and there's nothing we can do," Ritsuko said. "Sometimes, people just have to accept that things can't change." Ritsuko sipped her coffee, idly studying the ingrained image of a Santa hat totting teddy bear on the mug, smiling at Maya's taste in Christmas gifts. "But sometimes, Shinji…sometimes, there is something we can do about it. Sometimes, we have to do something in order to change what might otherwise seem inevitable."

Shinji didn't acknowledge that he'd even heard the woman speak. But her words still echoed in his mind.

"Once this is all sorted through, there's something I'd like to speak with you about," Ritsuko said, changing the subject, confident that she had said all she could. "Something…about your mother…"

Shinji glanced up at her. He'd been purposefully refraining from even thinking about his mother. The very mention of her brought her image to his head. The every thought of that image brought him pain.

"I hope you manage to work things out, Shinji," Ritsuko said, nodding. "Maybe if you do, this holiday will be happy after all."

Without waiting for a reply that she knew wouldn't come, she walked on.

xxxxx

Shinji's stomach started growling and he found his way to the vending machines. He searched his pocket for coinage, but couldn't find the right amount.

Letting out a disgruntled sigh, Shinji turned and leave, when a hand clutching a plastic wrapped cinnamon bun presented itself to him.

"Call it a Christmas present," said the voice of the man attached to the aforementioned hand.

Shinji looked up and saw a stubbly, pony-tailed man with a loose tie and an even looser shirt.

"I don't think we've ever been properly introduced," the man said. "I'm Ryoji Kaji."

Shinji stared at the food, not wanting to take something from a total stranger. But his hunger got the best of him, and he accepted it before nodding. "Oh…uh, hi. I'm Shinji Ikari. You…I think Captain Katsuragi mentioned you."

Kaji nodded. "Oh, Misato? Yeah, she and I go way back. But hey, what's one of the top pilots in NERV doing sulking around the Command Center on a holiday?"

Shinji sighed. "Don't act like you don't know."

Kaji sighed. "Touché. You know, I've had my fair share of experiences with the ladies. Maybe it's something I can help you out with?"

Shinji shook his head. "You'd be the third person today who's offered me that. But if I accepted somebody else's help, there'd be no point in it. It wouldn't be 'me' wining her back, right?"

Kaji nodded. "Seems to me you're on the right track. There's something you should keep in mind about Kaworu, though."

Shinji frowned. "I'm sure I want to know."

Kaji shook his head. "I know it's not easy thinking on these terms, Shinji, but you and Kaworu are both pilots. He's one of the good guys, Shinji. He's not doing this to hurt you, he's just jealous of what you have."

Shinji shook his head. "I know _that_ much, Mister Kaji."

Kaji nodded. "Then know this: When someone takes something of yours, take it back. Don't just let things stay the way they are. You have to do something about it."

Shinji shook his head. "I know that! I know what I have to do! I just don't think it'll do any good if I try!"

Kaji shook his head. "I've known the Fifth Child for a long time. Ever since he was a small boy, he's always thought the First Child was meant for him. Kaworu is a strong believer of fate. He's believed that he and Rei are fated to be with one another since he was a small boy. But Shinji…there's no such thing as fate. What Kaworu does or does not believe shouldn't have any affect on you two. Kaworu has only known Rei for, what, two months now? You've known her all your life; she's known you for all of hers. She chose you first. You have more right than he does to be with her. You have to believe that. Have faith in yourself, Shinji. That's what's most important."

Shinji took all that in. It made sense. Maybe he shouldn't have ever doubted himself. He was the one Rei chose first. Why should this newcomer be able to just take her from him? And how was he to know what she was feeling? How was he to assume anything when he hadn't even attempted to understand?

It was time to act.

Kaji glanced at his watch. "On an unrelated note, it looks as if Unit 00's test is scheduled in just half an hour. The First Child will be here for the test."

Kaji looked back at Shinji. But he was already gone.

xxxxx

Rei pressurized her plug suit, content to fall into the rhythmic harmony of familiar tasks. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her senses. This whole ordeal would start affecting her health before long. But she just couldn't keep her mind off the boy. Her shower beforehand had mercifully washed Kaworu's taste from her body.

What she done with him that morning…

Rei forced herself not to cry again. It would not have been the first time that day.

Rei sat still for a while as she tried to rationalize her situation. She knew she could not continue like this forever. She could not continue to let Kaworu have his way. And she could not continue to avoid Shinji. She would have to make things right at some point.

Determined to put an end to this downward spiral, she stepped out the door.

As she did, however, her conviction vanished.

"Rei…"

The blue-haired girl froze. "Shinji…"

They stood face to face in the doorway of the locker room. On Rei's face was a look of surprise. On Shinji's was one of determination.

"We need to talk…"

xxxxx

A/N:

Two chapters in as many days. "Writer's block" my ass.

Oh, and the carol that Kaworu sings at the beginning is called "Alle Jahre wieder kommt das Christuskind" or "Every Year the Christ Child Comes Again."

The carol translates to "Every year again / Comes the Christ Child / Down to earth / Where we humans are / Stops with his blessing / At every house / Walks on all paths / With us in and out / Stands also at my side / Quietly and unrecognized / To guide me loyally / By the dear hand.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

December 25th, 2015

The two souls stared at each other, locked and frozen. Rei didn't reply to Shinji's statement. She simply left the locker room, a look of guilty placid on her face. They walked together until they were just outside the Eva cages, before Rei stopped, indicating she was ready to listen.

"I…I saw you and Kaworu yesterday…" Shinji said, spitting it out all at once.

Rei nodded.

Shinji waited for a reply, but got none. "I…may have run away too quickly, assumed too much…but I'm willing to listen, Rei…if there's an explanation for it then…"

Rei's face fell.

Shinji's heart sank.

"Am I interrupting anything?" came a mocking voice.

Shinji looked up to see his least favorite gray haired boy. "Kaworu…what's going on? What are you doing with Rei?"

Kaworu shrugged, as though he were guilty of nothing. "I am simply following the path of fate, Shinji."

Shinji stomped his foot. "Don't feed me that 'fate' bullshit, Kaworu! That's no excuse for treating Rei like this!"

Kaworu's eyes widened. "Oh? Perhaps you didn't realize that Rei wants this as badly as I do, Shinji."

Shinji glared. "You're really pushing it, Kaworu! Stop making up stuff!"

Kaworu shook his head. "It's the truth, Shinji. Never once did she push me away or even so much as say 'no.' Face it, Shinji…Rei and I are meant for each other."

Shinji clenched his eyes. "That's a lie! Rei, tell me this guy's lying!"

Rei welled up inside. She couldn't say anything, and it was destroying her to see Shinji like this.

Kaworu, for his part, just breezed past the angry boy. "There's no stopping fate, Shinji…"

With that, he planted a kiss on Rei's face.

Shinji seethed, grabbing Kaworu by the collar and slamming him against a nearby wall. "Get your hands _off_ her!"

Kaworu held his head up, his eyes closed. "The truth hurts, doesn't it, Shinji?"

Shinji shook. "Have I…_wronged_ you in a past life or something? Why the hell are you doing this, Kaworu!"

Kaworu smirked. "I beg your pardon, Shinji, but what makes you think this is about you? I'm merely following the path of fate. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Kaworu suddenly seized Shinji's wrists, gripping them so hard, Shinji lost all tension in his hands. "…I have an appointment with the Commander," Kaworu finished.

Shinji lost all conviction as Kaworu calmly released himself and began walking away as if nothing had happened. Shinji found himself seething, but being able to do nothing about it. How that boy possessed that degree of strength with that tiny body was beyond him. But Shinji could tell being physical with Kaworu would get him nowhere.

If the two of them were to get into a fistfight, Shinji would lose.

Leaving Kaworu be for now, Shinji turned to Rei. "Rei…what's going on? Why are you _letting_ him do this?"

Rei nearly collapsed. "I…I can't help it, Shinji…I can't…"

Shinji saw tears flowing from her eyes. He bit his lip; whatever was happening here wasn't Rei's doing.

"Rei…what does he have on you?"

Rei blinked. "Huh?"

"Kaworu," Shinji said, strength returning to his voice. "He's got some kind of leverage on you, doesn't he?"

Rei bit her lip, nodding.

Shinji nodded, a look of determination in his eyes. "Alright…don't worry, Rei, I'm gonna find out what it is. And when I do, I'm gonna set things right."

Rei heaved. "Shinji…"

Shinji nodded. "I won't let this pass by, Rei…I'm gonna fix things. I promise."

Rei watched the boy go, convinced that his quest would end in failure.

xxxxx

"You wanted to see me, Sir?"

Kaworu was standing in Gendo's office, staring back at the Commander, utterly carefree.

"Yes, Fifth Child," The Commander responded. "I've been noticing your recent interactions with the First Child."

Kaworu smiled. "Oh?"

Gendo didn't so much as nod. "I wanted to give you an opportunity to explain yourself."

Kaworu smirked. "There's very little to explain, Sir. I fancy her. I have all my life. And I intend to act on those feelings."

Gendo frowned. "You are not aware that she is and has been in a prolonged relationship with the Third Child?"

Kaworu smiled. "Frankly, Sir, I don't see how this concerns you as the Commander of NERV."

Gendo adjusted his glasses. "It doesn't. It concerns the father of Shinji Ikari."

Kaworu shrugged. "As you say…but as long as you're speaking as Shinji's father, then you should know that he won't achieve anything if he doesn't stand on his own two feet. You, as his father, cannot solve this problem for him…Sir."

Gendo frowned. "Standing up against his own kind is one thing. Standing up against one such as yourself is asking a bit too much."

Kaworu's eyes lit up. "Oh, so you _do_ know what I am. Good, that means you're also aware that if it was my desire, I could tear this place apart in a matter of seconds." Kaworu marched right up to Gendo's desk. "Commander, I want very little out of life. Since I was born, I knew I was destined to be with Rei Ayanami. I will make this destiny become reality, Sir. And I ask only one thing: Don't get in my way."

Gendo did not so much as flinch at the threat. "Your point has been noted. You may leave."

Kaworu smiled, knowing he had won.

Gendo watched him leave, sitting still for several moments.

Soon after, he stood and left the office.

xxxxx

Agent Kaji smiled as a friendly site greeted his eyes. "Ah, my two favorite ladies. Merry Christmas. You two aren't too busy for some coffee, are you? My treat."

Misato snorted. "Actually, we're too busy to be doing-"

"_Actually_," Ritsuko shushed her friend. "I wouldn't mind at all. There was some things I was meaning to speak to you about, Mister Kaji."

Kaji grinned. "Oh, I see. In the market for information? In that case, better make it your treat then."

Ritsuko smiled, sweetly. "Sure thing."

They detoured to the lounge, Misato making sure to keep the blonde scientist between Kaji and herself.

"So, I heard the Third Child spent the night here last night," Kaji mentioned.

Misato frowned. "Yeah. I tried to cheer him up this morning."

Ritsuko lit a cigarette. "And she actually managed it without removing any clothes."

"Oh, shut up you!" Misato spat.

Kaji held up his hand, using his other to deposit some notes into the coffee machine. "Now, now, girls, don't fight. Shinji needs to solve this on his own, you know?"

Ritsuko nodded, stepping over to the vending machine. "Which brings me to my question, Mister Kaji: You've known the Fifth Child for most of his life. What can you tell us about him? His sync rate has been abnormally high since he began piloting."

"Yeah, and Section Two conveniently loses track of him for about a full day every week," Misato added. "What's his deal?"

Kaji smiled, sipping his coffee. "That kid's an enigma, even to me. What I do know is this: Kaworu and Rei have a lot more in common than their eye color."

Misato blinked. "What, they're not related or something, are they? That's actually kind of sick, with him pulling the moves on her."

Kaji chuckled. "No, but I'm sure Ritsu here can shed some light on the issue."

Ritsuko gave Kaji a 'don't put me in this situation' look. "Kaji…"

Misato threw Ritsuko a glance. "Ritsuko? What is he talking about?"

Kaji smiled. "I'll leave you two to debate this. Merry Christmas."

Misato ignored the man as he sped away. Ritsuko just stood there, helpless.

"Well, Misato…" Ritsuko sighed. "There's a lot that I can't say under pain of death, but I will say this: When my mother took Rei in as a child, she wasn't taking in an orphan, she was taking in a test tube baby."

Misato's jaw hung slack. "What?"

Ritsuko nodded. "Rei was born in a laboratory, Misato. Her DNA was specifically molded as an experimental child, specifically for piloting Eva."

"What…what the hell…?" Misato gasped.

As Misato absorbed that bit of information, Ritsuko bit her lip, troubled by what she had neglected to say. Piloting Eva had not been Rei's only purpose.

"Does…does Shinji know?" Misato asked.

Ritsuko shook her head. "No, but I'm almost sure that Kaworu does. Shinji's bound to find out eventually, though. I don't look forward to the day when he learns the truth about Rei."

xxxxx

Shinji stopped in his tracks as he saw his father strafing the halls of NERV.

"Merry Christmas, Shinji," Gendo said. Somehow, the way he said made it sound like an order.

"Uh…Merry Christmas, father…" Shinji stammered. Ever since Yui died, Gendo had grown more and more distant. He hadn't so much as spoken to his son is months.

"Material things would bear no meaning as a father's gift to his son," Gendo said as he approached the Third Child. "Instead, there's something I feel you should know."

Shinji blinked. "What?"

Gendo nodded. "Come with me to my office. What I'm about to tell you is to be kept secret. Do you understand?"

Shinji nodded, followed the man as he suddenly stepped down the hall. "Father, what's this all about?" He asked.

Gendo frowned. He had kept what he was about to say secret for a reason. But the Fifth Child had forced his hand. Once again, SEELE was interfering with Gendo's plans.

"There's something you need to know," Gendo said, "About Rei Ayanami."

xxxxx

Asuka found the pale boy in the cafeteria, casually dining as though nothing were amiss. The redhead hesitated for a moment, before stepping over to him, setting her tray down across from him.

"I heard Shinji's story last night," Asuka muttered.

Kaworu smiled. "And? Did he crumble under your grasp as I predicted?"

Asuka bit her lip. "Yes…and that's precisely what I'm here for…"

Kaworu blinked. "What?"

Asuka frowned. "I don't like this. Whatever you did with Rei, it hurt Shinji. It hurt him badly."

Kaworu shrugged. "So? That's what he has you for."

"I don't want him, Kaworu," Asuka spat. "Not like this. He's lost his spark now. He's lost what it was that attracted me to him in the first place. You've taken my Shinji away from me."

Kaworu set down his fork. "For that, I am sorry, Asuka. But you must sometimes make sacrifices to get what it is you truly desire."

Asuka glared. "I want you to call this whole thing off. All it's doing is making people miserable."

Kaworu blinked. "Why? I'm perfectly fine with it. If you want to give up on Shinji, go ahead. Just because you couldn't make Shinji yours doesn't mean I'm not going to try with Rei."

Asuka glared. "That's not good enough, Nagisa. I want this to stop."

Kaworu sighed, standing up. "It's not your decision to make, Asuka. Now, if you'll excuse me, Rei and I have a concert to go to."

Asuka tried to call out an accusation, but her voice fell short. She watched Kaworu walk away, before cursing herself.

"Damn pretty-boy," she muttered. "Who does he think he is?"

Asuka cursed herself again when she realized she was blushing.

xxxxx

Rei stepped out of her test plug, soaked in LCL. She toweled off and walked off to the locker rooms. Before she could retreat the sanctuary, Kaworu arrived, effectively blocking her path.

"There's a showing of the Nutcracker Ballet tonight, Rei," Kaworu smiled. "Care to join me?"

Rei stiffened. "I…I shouldn't…"

"Oh come on," Kaworu smiled at her feeble attempts to resist his angelic charms. "I'll make it worth your while."

Rei flushed a Kaworu's hand slipped around her waist

"Am I interrupting anything?" came a mocking voice.

Rei turned up in both fright and relief as Shinji casually strode over to them. "Shinji!"

Kaworu smiled, bleakly. "Ah, Shinji…here to make another statement? I thought I'd already made it clear to you that you didn't stand a chance."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah, you did. Now it's my turn." Shinji positioned himself between the pale boy and Rei. "Kaworu…Rei and I have known each other for all our lives. You, on the other hand, have only just met her two months ago."

Kaworu shrugged. "So, what's your point? Are you trying to imply that you have some kind of claim on her? Rei is her own person, Shinji. I think she should be free to choose who she desires most."

Shinji smiled. "Nice cliché. Now here's what I think. I think Rei means more to me than she does to you. I think that the time we've spent together means more than any sort of attraction on your part. And I think that the only reason she hasn't beaten you off with a stick is that you've got leverage on her."

Kaworu smirked. "You think you deserve her more than I do?"

Shinji shook his head. "Neither of us 'deserves' anything from her, Kaworu."

Kaworu shrugged. "Then what are you trying to prove, Shinji? That you know her better than I do? Shinji, let me tell you one thing: you'll never know Rei the way I do."

Shinji planted his foot and spoke.

"I know enough. Rei is a kind, quiet, beautiful girl who likes to sit in the shade and read on philosophy. She dislikes meat. And the color red. She also likes classical music. One time in third grade, I fell and scraped my knee, and almost immediately, Rei was there to take me to the nurse's office. She's helped me deal with my shortcomings, as well as my doubts about the human race. She's smart, she's kind, and more importantly, she's the only person I can possibly say who understands me for who I am. I don't care if this means nothing to you, but this is my life. And it's hers. And you're not about to take that away, Kaworu, not ever."

Rei felt a tear trickle down her cheek as she listened to Shinji's little speech. How had she allowed herself to get into this position? Shinji valued her more than the entire world. She owed him something for that.

Kaworu, for his part broke into a fit of laughter. "…And what was _that_ supposed to mean? What are you trying to prove to me, Shinji? Human experiences count for nothing in the grand scheme of things. And for all your valued time with her, you still fail to comprehend the gravity of Rei's true self."

Shinji glared in Kaworu's direction. "What are you getting at?"

Kaworu smirked. "Do you even know why she was made, Shinji?"

Shinji's eyebrow twitched.

"Do you even know…" Kaworu said, condescendingly, "_What_ she is?"

Two months ago, Shinji had held back his fist from striking Kaworu in the face. Shinji decided, then and there, that it was high time to amend this fact.

CRACK!

Kaworu's head flew back, his lip bleeding.

Shinji, for his part, was seething. "And why the _fuck_ should that matter?"

Kaworu wiped his lip, smiling. "So…you've finally decided to stand on your own?"

"I know _exactly_ 'what' she is, Kaworu!" Shinji shouted, his eyes ablaze with rage. "My father told me everything! And I don't care! I love her, Kaworu! I love her more than anything! And if you ever refer to her like some _thing_ again, I'll kill you!"

Kaworu's eyes widened. _Commander…you're pushing your luck…_ He smiled. "Now that's the kind of attitude you need, Shinji. Unfortunately…"

Faster than Shinji's eyes could detect, Kaworu's struck Shinji with the heel of his hand right in the solar plexus.

Shinji doubled over.

Rei was at his side, instantly. "Shinji!"

Kaworu smiled at them. "This bickering is pointless. Now Rei…" he turned his gaze to the blue haired girl, her attention still on Shinji's fallen form. "I believe I mentioned a concert tonight."

Rei took a step back before Kaworu took her by the shoulders.

"It's pointless to resist fate, Rei," Kaworu smiled. "You might as well accept it."

Rei swallowed hard as Kaworu leaned in to embrace her.

…

…

…

"…Stop it."

Kaworu halted. His eyes came open. He stared at Rei in disbelief. "…What did you just say?"

Rei's brow furrowed. "I said…stop it…"

Kaworu's jaw hung in disbelief. "Now, Rei…don't let what Shinji said fool you…he can't-"

WHUMP!

Rei's knee came up between Kaworu's legs.

Kaworu staggered back quickly, beads of sweat erupting all over his face. "R…Rei…!"

The blue haired girl stepped back, to stand next to Shinji as he slowly got to his feet.

"Never…touch me…again…"

Kaworu stared in disbelief, buckled over. "No…it's impossible! You shouldn't…you shouldn't be able to resist me…it's _fate_!"

Rei's gaze could have melted steel. "I don't care what your fate says, Nagisa. I choose Shinji."

Kaworu stared at the floor, gasping for air. "How…how…?"

Rei helped Shinji to his feet, who in turn gave Kaworu a cold stare. The two of them turned to go.

"You cannot alter fate!" Kaworu gasped at their receding forms. "You're fools if you try!"

Shinji kept walking, but Rei paused to turn back. "Then so be it, we are fools. But least we can finally be honest with ourselves."

"That boy will never…_ever_…make you feel the way I do, Ayanami…" Kaworu grunted.

Rei didn't even stop walking.

"Good."

xxxxx

"Shinji…" Rei said, as the two of them left NERV. "Is that you said true? You truly…love me?"

Shinji nodded without hesitating. "It wouldn't have hurt as much as it did if I didn't."

Rei frowned, looking away. "I'm so sorry, Shinji…I'm so sorry that I was not able to resist."

Shinji shook his head. "My father explained everything. How Kaworu has Adam's blood in his veins, while you have the blood of Lillith. It's only natural that you be drawn to one another. I'm just glad I was able to get through to you."

Rei shivered. "It doesn't…bother you…that I'm not entirely…human?"

Shinji smiled, hugging her. "You're human enough, Rei. Besides, I've felt the same way about you for all these years. If I was able to love a half angel back then, I'm perfectly willing to now."

Rei sighed, wrapping her arms around him, making it difficult for them to walk. "Oh Shinji…"

Shinji tensed. "Wait…there's something you should know…"

Rei looked up. "What is it?"

Shinji looked away, ashamed. "The night I saw you with Kaworu…"

xxxxx

December 24th, 2015

Asuka laid the boy of her dreams flat on her bed. "Just relax, Shinji. You just enjoy this."

Shinji said nothing as he lay flat on his back.

Asuka smiled as she began unbuttoning her shirt. "Don't look so sad, Shinji…I'm here for you. I'll make it all better, I promise." With a single action, her shirt was gone.

Shinji didn't even look.

Asuka pouted as she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. "Won't you say something?"

Shinji looked up at her, the same sad look in his eyes. "Is this what you want, Asuka?"

It was dark, but the forlorn look on Shinji's face was perfectly visible. Asuka tried to hide her frustration. _That damn look is going to be the end of me!_

"Of course it is, baka. Isn't it what you want?"

Shinji didn't answer.

Asuka responded to his silence by rubbing her hands all over Shinji's chest, trying desperately to arouse him. She gently laid her breasts on top of him, kissing him again. Opening her eyes, she stared directly into his.

Tears. She saw tears.

Asuka stopped, her whole body shaking.

"…God damn you, Shinji…" She sobbed, her fists gently pounding him. "God _damn_ you…"

Shinji couldn't reply. He couldn't stop crying. And Asuka couldn't understand.

They stayed that way for a while longer, before Shinji got up and left.

xxxxx

December 25th, 2015

"So Soryu attempted to consummate with you?" Rei asked.

Shinji nodded. "I let her do those things to me…I let her kiss me…"

Rei nodded. "But you didn't give in to her, Shinji, not fully. You seem to have demonstrated more self control than I have."

Shinji shook his head. "I followed her to her room, Rei! At least you have an excuse!"

Rei shook her head. "No. No I do not."

xxxxx

December 25th, 2015 - Earlier that morning

They were alone. Toji would be talking for hours in his room. If this kept up, Kaworu would have her completely at his mercy. But as Kaworu deepened the kiss, she couldn't help but kiss him back. Her very blood decreed her movements.

Kaworu just smiled, as his hands began to explore her body. He knew she couldn't resist him. Lilith would forever be drawn to Adam, as he was to her.

It was fate.

And there was no stopping fate.

But Rei tried. And she failed.

All she managed a soft whimper of sorrow, before melting into him. Her body was completely out of her control. She was powerless.

Like a doll.

She tried to stop him.

She tried, desperately, to stop what she knew was coming.

And she failed.

xxxxx

December 25th, 2015 – Present Time

"If he'd wanted to," Rei said, forebodingly. "He could have taken me. I would not have been able to fight him off."

Shinji frowned. "Why didn't he?"

Rei shook her head. "He said…that I didn't love him yet…that such an act should only be done in love, and he would not commit it unless I loved him. He was determined to make me fall in love with him, Shinji…"

Shinji nodded. "I see…so, the guy has a soul after all…"

Rei sighed. "He may have his desires, but he does not seem to wish ill on others."

Shinji took Rei by the arm. "Let's stop talking about all this right now. I'm just glad to have you back."

Rei smiled, leaning in, and let him kiss her. "That I will agree with."

They had made it outside. The snow was falling and they were kissing.

It was a beautiful white Christmas.

"I…I have something for you…" Rei said, as she parted from him.

"For me?" Shinji asked. "What for?"

Rei smiled. "For Christmas, silly. Here…"

Shinji looked oddly at the small, gift-wrapped box. "Aw, Rei, you didn't have buy something for me."

Rei smiled. "Open it."

Shinji obliged, removing a framed picture.

"I remember this…" Shinji said, happily.

Rei nodded. "It seems appropriate with what you said about our memories."

Shinji smiled; the picture was of the two of them, as well as Toji and Kensuke visiting the zoo back in Tokyo-3. The camera had taken a choice shot of them posing in front of the giraffe pen, while the giraffe leaned in and snatched Toji's hat off his head with its tongue, a look of stupor plastered to the boy's face.

Shinji chuckled as he remembered the event. "By the time the zookeepers got there, the hat had already been eaten."

Rei giggled. "I thought you'd like to display that in the suite. I know Suzuhara would as well."

Shinji smiled. "Oh, Rei…thank you…"

They shared another kiss.

It was, indeed, a beautiful white Christmas.

xxxxx

"Care to explain yourself Commander?"

Gendo didn't move as Kaworu practically interrogated him in his office.

"What is there to explain, pilot?"

"You told Shinji far more than you should have, Commander."

Gendo adjusted his glasses. "It was my prerogative to do so. You said yourself, he would never achieve anything if he didn't stand on his own two feet. I simply gave him the necessary means to stand."

Kaworu seethed, but quickly contained himself. "I see. It would appear you have gotten the better of me Commander."

Gendo permitted himself a quick smile. "I don't take well to threats."

"Touché," Kaworu said, bowing. "In that case, I'll take my leave now."

Gendo nodded. "You are still our top pilot. Keep up the performance, and I'll forget this ever happened."

Kaworu nodded and left.

xxxxx

"Told you so."

Kaworu sighed as Asuka once again sat in front of him in the cafeteria for an early dinner. Why she was eating two meals in a row here on Christmas day was beyond him.

"Word travels fast," Kaworu noted, continuing his dinner.

Asuka began munching on her salad.

"Those two are really something," Kaworu sighed. "Being able to simply resist fate like that…"

Asuka shrugged. "I was never one to believe in fate. People are what they are."

Kaworu nodded. "I know. I just thought…that I could convince her to see things my way."

Asuka nodded. "Yeah, so did I. Looks like we were both wrong."

They both sat in silence for a while longer.

"Well," Kaworu sighed, producing an envelope. "I guess now these tickets are going to go to waste."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Tickets?"

Kaworu nodded. "I was planning on taking Rei to see the Nutcracker Ballet at the Guggenheim this evening."

Asuka swallowed what was in her mouth.

Her cheeks colored faintly.

"I'll go."

Kaworu looked up at her. "Hm?"

Asuka quickly averted her gaze. "I mean…if I'm invited that is…you made it sound like you were looking for someone to go with, and I like a good ballet now and then so…"

Kaworu smiled. "Alright then. I'll pick you up at 8:30."

Asuka's face lit up as Kaworu got to his feet. "Really?"

Kaworu smiled. "Why not?"

Asuka found herself struggling for words once again as Kaworu trailed off. "Um…okay…I'll see you at 8:30 then!"

xxxxx

December 31st, 2015

Shinji and Rei were training in the simulator once more. Shinji, still determined to master the progressive katana, was being defeated time and time again by Rei's quick movements.

Their training halted, however, as a silver Eva stepped into view.

"Shinji…" came a voice.

"Kaworu…" the boy replied.

"I can't expect you to forgive me after what I've done, Shinji," Kaworu began. "And I'll understand if we can never be friends after this. However…I would like the chance to apologize for my actions…"

Right then and there, his Eva got to its knees and bowed its head to the ground.

"I was rude and arrogant and completely out of line," Kaworu continued. "I just wanted to say that."

Shinji considered for a moment. If it was anyone else, he would have seen the bowing Eva as a mockery, but he could tell Kaworu meant it.. "I still don't trust you yet, Kaworu, but I'll accept your apology. However, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Kaworu nodded in his entry plug. "The same goes to you, Rei, however, your forgiveness is something I can never ask for."

Rei just stared at the boy. "We'll see…"

Kaworu got to his feet. "Anyway, Toji's been admitted to the roster, which means you're no longer the rookie anymore, Shinji. And I thought that maybe your skill with a blade should reflect that. No battery this time, I promise."

Shinji let a small smile flicker to his face. "You know…I think I just might take you up on that."

xxxxx

Miles away, across the globe, a black behemoth airship took to the sky. A green humanoid lay strapped to its hull. Inside the passenger bay, a young girl in a green plug suit sat with her fists clenched on her knees.

She bit her lip.

"Wait for me…Toji…"

xxxxx

A/N: Whew…that took a lot out of me. 4000 words…wow. But hey, a lot got done here, and I'm glad this damn story arc is over and done with. Now, Toji and Hikari's story is just around the corner.

More Eva's are on their way, more pilots, and more deception. Our heroes can only take so much. Some people will turn out to be enemies, other will turn out to be friends.

Oh, who am I kidding? Enjoy the fic, read and review.

I'm out.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

Welcome back, folks! It's a new school year, and a new year for the cast of DoaL! I know a lot of you have probably been wondering what happened to this story, so let me just say that I was taking a break from my current longest fic to work on some shorter fics, reading some other fics, and just generally reading.

But now that the school year's back, expect to be seeing more of this. Thank you all for reading, I hope you all enjoy what's to come!

xxxxx

January 1st, 2016

"Happy New Year!" came Kensuke's excited exclamation, a streamer in one hand and a noisemaker in the other.

It was 11:00 o'clock in the morning on New Years Day in Tokyo-3, which, for any ordinary company, meant you got the day off. Much to the 7th Child's dismay, NERV was not a normal company.

Much to the 7th Child's further dismay, his high spirits were met with very little response.

"Uh…guys?" Kensuke groaned, as his fellow pilots continued their activities.

Mana Kirishima, the 8th Child, sporting her usual set of military fatigues, was busy tacking at her laptop, half a toasted bagel hanging lazily in her mouth.

"So what? Just means we have to get used to marking the dates differently."

Mayumi Yamagishi, the 9th Child, was focused on a book. "I don't celebrate New Years' for another three weeks."

Kensuke smacked his head. "Oh, come on! It's bad enough that I have to be here on a holiday, but you guy's aren't even willing to live it up a little!"

Mana sighed, pausing her typing. "Kensuke, three weeks ago, you were practically orgasming at the chance to pilot Eva. Now, all you're doing is complaining?"

Mayumi giggled. "I always wondered why your plug suit was white."

Kensuke blushed, heavily.

Mana blew a strand of her short red hair out of her face. "It's not like there's anything to do here, anyway."

Mayumi winked. "You mean, there's nothing left to do after _Kaji_ left?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Mana…" Mayumi said, giving her long black hair a playful toss.

Kensuke sighed. As nice as it was working with the ladies, they could be real basket cases when it came to a certain pontytailed man.

Grabbing two fistfuls of hair, he quickly resumed his ranting. "But it's not like we're actually full pilots yet! They haven't even let us set foot in our Eva's! Why do we have to be on active duty, if all we're going to be doing is training?"

Mayumi smiled up from her book. "Kensuke…if you're so worked up about it, why not get back in the simulator and train for a few more hours? Gods know you need it."

Mana smiled, winking. "Seriously, Kensuke – what are people going to think when they hear you have your ass handed to you by a couple of girls on a regular basis?"

Mana and Mayumi both suppressed satisfied giggles as Kensuke stormed off, muttering something about women and their stupid logic. He knew he really shouldn't be complaining – after all, he hadn't always been partners with two arguably attractive females.

That number had recently gone down from three, he reminded himself. Kaji hadn't been the _only _one who'd left on that carrier craft. Maybe that's why he was getting so antsy.

"Well, at least Hikari's gonna get to see some action…"

xxxxx

Toji dejectedly got into his entry plug. The process had long since lost its mystery and flare, in favor of being mechanical and repetitive. He wouldn't have minded so much, if his sitting there had actually been serving a purpose.

"Man…" he muttered to himself. "Another battle with me doing nothing. It's not like they even need me. Kaworu's so damn good, and Asuka's almost at his level, and Shinji and Rei are so far beyond me…"

He watched as his fellow pilots fought an angel that looked like a giant spider.

Unit 04 took point, striking the main body in one of its many eyes. With a resounding crack, the eye shattered.

Spewing Unit 04 with acid.

The acid instantly liquefied the Eva's armor, fusing its joints.

"My unit's been disabled!" Kaworu announced. As his silver mech tried to move, its armor fused together in a molten glob of metal that not only limited his movements, but his entire mobility as the metal dribbled to the cement bed beneath his feet, sticking his Eva to the ground.

Asuka picked up the slack. "Way to mess up, _Wunderkind_! Now let's see how a real pilot handles it!"

Asuka thrusted forward on the control yokes and Unit 02 neatly sliced off one of the angel's spidery legs, sending the body crashing to the ground.

"Ha!" she called. "Down in a single hit!"

As Asuka crowed in triumph, she missed seeing the angel's head swivel, pointing one of its eyes at her. The pupil dilated and the eye began to swell and suddenly burst, spewing Unit 02 with the same acid, melting her outer armor in the same fashion.

"What the hell?"

No sooner had it crippled the Eva, when its severed leg shook and regrew in a matter of seconds, forming a perfectly usable leg, and continued its path towards the center of Munich.

Shinji and Rei were watching from the sidelines, each armed with a pallet rifles, waiting for orders.

"Shinji! Rei! Kaworu and Asuka are down!" Misato's frantic voice alerted them. "It's up to you to finish it off!"

Rei and Shinji exchanged a glance that managed to communicate three things: their love, their trust, and their faith in one another.

They charged, sweeping the area with rapid fire.

The angel responded by raising one of its massive arms and bringing it down on Unit 00, crushing it in a single strike.

"Rei!" Shinji screamed, abandoning his post to rush to Unit 00's side.

"Don't!" she cried. "I'm alright!"

Unit 01 stopped in mid stride just in time to feel a titanic weight crush his Eva to the ground, while stars blinked in front of his eyes.

By the time Shinji recovered his wits, the Angel had already passed them, and he had an odd feeling, like both his legs were at an odd angle.

"All four Units have been disabled!" a voice echoed over the intercom.

Shinji shook his head to clear his mind. The voice sounded fuzzy. What had happened?

"Ejecting plugs now!"

His mind suddenly lost all contact with his Eva, as he suddenly felt a thrust of hydraulics, as his entry plug was launched out of his Eva like a cannonball.

xxxxx

Misato paced nervously around Central Command.

"This is bad," Misato growled. "How long until the Eva's are functional again?"

Ritsuko glanced at the escape elevators on screen as they each lowered the Eva's back into the Geo-Front.

"It'll take hours to refit the armor," Ritsuko reported. "But if we simply eject the damaged parts and have them fight without armor, the Evas can be functioning in fifteen minutes."

Misato shook her head. "So the next time that acid hits, it'll melt through the Eva's skin? We need to find some way to protect the Eva's from that acid!"

Ritsuko looked at the specs they could pull up of the Angel. "The acid seems to come from the Angel's eye-shaped marks, so if the pilots can avoid them…"

"You saw it move," Misato barked. "The Eva's are fast, but in close quarters, they can't avoid being hit!"

Ritsuko shrugged. "You're the tactician, I'm just making suggestions."

"Ma'am! Twenty minutes till the Angel reaches ground zero!"

Ritsuko eyed Unit 03 through the screen. "Let's just send Kaworu up in Unit 03, we'll at least be able to put up a fight."

Toji's face popped up on screen. "Um…is there anything _I_ can do, Ma'am?"

Ritsuko frowned. "I'm sorry, Toji, but I just don't think you're field ready yet. It'd be much safer to send an experienced pilot. Remember, this isn't some game -- we _have_ to win. So we _have_ to do whatever it takes to improve our chances. I'm sorry, Toji, but we can't take that kind of chance with you."

Misato spared a moment to sympathize with Toji. She knew that his girlfriend from Tokyo-3 was hovering a few miles away in a carrier craft, and would be watching, hopeful to see her boyfriend in action.

That's when a thought occurred to her.

They didn't have only one Eva left. They had two.

Ritsuko was on the communicator. "Fifth Child, as soon as you are out of your entry plug, I want you inside Unit 03!"

"Belay that order," Misato commanded.

"Misato?"

"Radio the Number Six carrier craft!"

"The carrier for Unit 05?" Ritsuko blinked. "We can't send Hikari into battle!"

"Just do it!"

xxxxx

As glad as she was that she would be seeing Toji soon (she hoped), it was a bit straining on her nerves to be on the same airplane as Kaji.

"This is Ecta-64," Kaji said to the beeping light on his control display.

Hikari had been enrolled into NERV for a little over a week. She had seen Mister Kaji here and there at headquarters, and while the other two girls had been much more…vocal about it, the fact that Kaji was an absolute dream was still a fact that made itself present every time Hiakri so much as glanced at him. He even made that drab flight suit look good.

She absentmindedly shook her head. If she was having _this_ much difficulty staying true to Toji…

"Kaji?" came a voice from the control panel. "_You're_ flying the carrier?"

The man smiled. "Well, if it isn't Katsuragi. Having fun with your Angel problem? The control tower said that we were to stay out of Munich airspace until you'd dealt with it. I take it the battle's over?"

"Not quite…" the voice came. "Is The Sixth Child there?"

Kaji turned around and winked at Hikari. She responded with a blush.

"She's here."

"Tell her to suit up."

xxxxx

Ritsuko fixed Misato with a hard stare. "Captain, you're not seriously thinking of doing what I think you're doing?"

Misato just grinned. "Just trust me, Ritsuko. Now, Hyuga, give me the altitude and the exact coordinates of that carrier. Shigeru, I want you to ready Unit 03 in the number 13 catapult, and set it up on a timer. Maya, what's the ETA on that Angel?"

"Nine minutes and twenty-eight seconds!"

Misato patched in a link to the carrier while the bridge crew got to work. "You hear that, Kaji? I'm gonna need you at these coordinates in less than nine minutes! I want you to drop Unit 05 on my mark."

She practically heard him smirking on the other line. "Aye-aye, captain."

Misato groaned. "Alright. Is the Six Child there?"

There was a pause.

"Y-yes…Captain?"

Misato took a deep breath. "Listen, Hikari…all we need from you is to keep her steady. You've reached AT field manifestation, right?"

"Y-yeah…"

Misato smiled. "Good. Then here's what's going to happen. We're going to deploy your Eva, and it's going to drop down onto the Angel. Before you hit, I'm going to radio you to turn on your AT field. Just bring it out and keep it on, and you'll be safe from the Angel. After that, just wait for us to come get you."

"…Okay, Captain…" Hikari said, hesitantly. "I'll do my best."

Misato smiled, shutting off the communicator.

"Captain!" Ritsuko stepped up to her old friend. "I _must_ protest! Sending not one, but _two_ rookies into a battle that not even our most experienced pilots could win?"

Misato grinned. "They didn't lose, Ritsuko. They were just immobilized. The Angel's not after the Eva's, it's after us."

"That doesn't make it any less-!"

"Listen," Misato interrupted. "Why do you think our four best pilots lost? Because we weren't thinking about this in the right terms. Look at the shape of the Angel – it's designed to combat on a horizontal playing field. That's how it beat our top pilots. But an attack on a vertical axis…"

Ritsuko groaned. "Then at _least_ send Kaworu up in Unit 03!"

Misato grinned. "No, no…I think Toji's been sitting on his butt for long enough."

Toji's head popped up on screen. "Does this mean I'm going to pilot?"

Misato grinned. "You bet. And what's more – you're girlfriend's gonna get to see you kick ass on the battlefield!"

Toji's eyes bugged out. "Wait…_Hikari's_ here!"

Misato gave him a thumbs up. "That's right! So do your best, okay?"

Toji sat up straight. "You can count on me, Captain!"

Misato sighed. "Right! Load Unit 03 into the number 13 catapult! Disengage the locks! Maya, ETA!"

"Three minutes and closing!"

"Kaji? Are you in position?"

"Almost. Give me a minute, Katsuragi, this isn't exactly a fighter jet."

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Kaji!" Misato bellowed. "I will _not_ let this mission be jeopardized because of _you_!"

Ritsuko held her face in her hand. "Especially when she does such a good job jeopardizing it herself!"

"Spare me the sarcasm, Ritsu! ETA!"

"Two minutes!" Maya cried, her fingers mercilessly tapping away at keys.

Misato bit her lip. "Alright, you guys…" she whispered. "Don't let me down…"

xxxxx

Hikari bit her lip. She had just barely started a few weeks ago, and now we she being launched in the midst of battle. She knew she shouldn't be too surprised – this was what they had signed up for, and they _were_ dealing with an emergency.

"You ready, Hikari?" came Kaji's heavenly voice.

She tried to ignore the feelings that arose whenever the man spoke. "Yes!"

Kaji winked at her through the communication panel, causing her to blush.

"Alrighty, then…look out below!"

Hikari held her breath as the locks disengaged from her Eva's shoulders, as her Green Unit 05 slid off its skids and began its journey back to Earth.

"Impact in twenty seconds!" she heard a voice, probably from NERV. "Nineteen! Eighteen!"

"Launch Unit 03!" she heard Misato's voice say.

"Unit 03?" Hikari mouthed. "Isn't that…?"

"Fifteen! Fourteen!"

Unit 05 fell from the sky like a meteor.

"Eleven! Ten!"

Unit 03 shot out of the ground.

"Seven! Six!"

Hikari ground her teeth together. She'd been dropped in the simulator a dozen times! This was hardly the moment to freeze up!

"Three! Two!"

"Deploy AT fields now!"

Twin arrows of light, one from above, and one from below struck the Angel's body. The spidery Angel found itself between a rock and a hard place, and couldn't fend off both sides at once. With resounding crunch, the Eva's pierced the Angel's hide, crushing its body.

Hikari was out of her entry plug before the all clear was even sounded.

"Toji!"

The young man in question was stepping out of his black bio-mech.

"Hikari!"

The two of them ran to each other and embraced, amidst the ruins of the Angel. But neither one cared. It had been two months since they'd last seen each other. That was two months too many for them.

xxxxx

Back at base, Misato just stared contentedly at the aftermath of the wreckage. She couldn't have been happier with the outcome.

Ritsuko, on the other hand…

"Honestly, Misato! Why do you insist on relying on such haphazard tactics? If our calculations had been off by so much as a second…"

Misato just grinned. "Maybe…but the payoff was well worth it."

Ritsuko blinked. "What payoff?"

Nodding at the two lovebirds, Misato smiled. "That."

Asuka, for her part, was sharing Ritsuko's enthusiasm (or lack thereof).

"Um, hello?" She growled, still confined to her pilot's seat, the hatch having been conveniently melded shut from the Angel's acid. "The rest of us are just kind of sitting here! Hello?"

xxxxx

Toji sighed. "Man…two campaigns, and I don't get to so much as unhitch my Eva from the liftoff!"

All the pilots were enjoying some downtime at the local food court area, one of Asuka's favorite places to hang, to commemorate Hikari's addition to the ranks of the Eva pilots.

Said brunette just smiled. "Don't be like that, Toji – It still counts as your victory."

Toji grinned, pulling the girl into a hug. "_Our_ victory, you mean."

Asuka groaned at the open display of affection. "Of, come on guys, can you keep your mitts off each other for just a _few_ minutes?"

Kaworu checked his watch. "I believe it has been five minutes and forty three seconds since the last time they initiated bodily contact, Asuka."

As Asuka growled at the gray haired boy in German (to which he replied fluently), Shinji and Rei remained relatively quiet.

"We couldn't do anything this time." Shinji lamented.

Rei touched his arm. "We couldn't. But we are not the only ones capable of fighting. That is why more pilots and more Eva's are coming – because there is always strength in numbers."

Shinji smiled. "I hope it'll be enough."

xxxxx

A/N: Alright! The next half of the story is off to a great start! I just can't wait to get on with some of the later chapters! It's all these annoying middle chapters that I have to get through first!

Oh well, I'll be making due! Till next time!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

January 12th, 2016

CLANG!

Shinji's eyes remained resolute. His hands remained steady. His mind remained clear.

"Again!"

He swung again, and his sword was once again met with Kaworu's teeming silver blade in a shower of sparks. Recoiling and redrawing, Shinji sliced at the air with his purple progressive katana, only to miss Kaworu by the tiniest fraction.

"Again!"

Shinji stared down his adversary, through the glowing yellow eyes of Unit 01. He only saw Unit 04's silvery glare, its sword held forward and ready.

Another strike yielded only another miss, and the one following left Unit 01 weaponless.

"You're improving," Kaworu admonished. "But you're putting too much thought into your movements. It has to be _instinct_ that guides you, Shinji. In the field of battle, you won't have _time_ to think about your moves. If you don't know what move to perform the very second you see your opponent coming, than you haven't trained enough."

Shinji panted, his lungs sucking the LCL of their oxygen supply.

"But we've…been training for weeks on end…" Shinji reasoned.

Kaworu shook his head. "Weeks are nothing. When I was growing up here, I spent _years_ training to be a master combatant. The only reason I am able to beat you is because of that training. When you have reached my level of discipline, you will defeat me."

"But-"

"That'll be all for now," Kaworu stopped Shinji with a single raised hand. "Now…we kneel…"

Shinji sighed and submitted. Kaworu had made it clear from the start – he had greater experience, so he would be calling the shots. When he outlines a certain move, it was in your best interests to do it. When he said to stop, you stopped. When he said bow, you bowed.

It was an odd sight to see two giant bio mechs kneeling before each other, but somehow, Kaworu made it feel truly genuine.

After placing their weapons on the ground at their sides, Kaworu closed his eyes.

"Now we meditate…"

Shinji followed suit with his Eva's fists planted firmly against the ground. He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing as Kaworu had taught him.

"Good," Kaworu ended the session. "Now we bow…"

The two Eva's touched their foreheads to the ground.

"Good…" Kaworu said at last. "That was a good session today, Shinji. I hope you continue to advance as you have been."

Shinji nodded, uneasily. It had been difficult training under Kaworu's tutelage, having not a month ago fended off his advances towards Rei. The two of them had seemingly agreed not to talk about it, and move on for the sake of their piloting. Shinji clearly had a lot to learn from Kaworu's training. And at this point, it was more important to be able to perform better and to swallow his pride and fight alongside the man he once hated.

Shinji exited the simulator exhausted, feeling worn out and ready for a shower, when a pair of arms clasped around him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Instantly, Shinji was smiling. "Hello, Rei…"

The blue haired girl returned her newfound captive's smile. "Hello, Shinji…how was training today?"

He stared back, helplessly at the First Child. "Tough as usual. Kaworu's a pretty strict sensei, but even after a few weeks, I'm already improving."

Rei hadn't moved nor released the Second Child. "That's good. Though I'm glad that you're pursuing sword training, I may be forced to take issue with the amount of time you take."

Shinji quickly decided that he wasn't going anywhere. "Nothing I can do about that. So, um…any chance you're gonna be letting me go anytime soon?"

Rei shrugged, still holding him. "I don't see a reason to."

Shinji stroked her back. "Well…not that I'm complaining, but…I'm in pretty desperate need of a shower."

Rei locked eyes with the boy, smiling devilishly.

"Shower later…"

xxxxx

Halfway across the world, another unfortunate boy was getting his ass handed to him in the Eva simulator.

"Alright, Ken…" the light brown haired boy muttered to himself, as Mayumi's navy-blue Unit 08 squatted, oblivious to his presence. "You've got her right in your sights. Easy does it now…"

The computer setting was in a wooded jungle, and Units 06, 07 and 08 were faced up in a stakeout free for all. Kensuke, sick of having his poor tan colored Eva's backside kicked on a regular basis (by two girls, no less), was determined to at least get one kill, proving that even if he wasn't the expert in melee combat, he was still a student of military tactics.

Unfortunately, so was Mana.

"It's not nice to peek at a lady, you know?" came a mocking voice over his intercom. The screen was static, but he could tell instantly who it was.

"Shit!" he hissed, suddenly scrambling his Eva to its feet. "Busted!"

"Oh, yes…" Mana's voice chuckled. "_Very_ busted…"

Kensuke had about two seconds to try and figure out where Mana was, before the brown Evangelion Unit 07 dropped from one of the trees, impaling the back of Kensuke's Eva with a progressive knife.

Mana just giggled as Kensuke swore again and again. "Hope you enjoy sitting on the sidelines again, Ken…"

Mana looked up, and saw Mayumi slowly stepping towards her.

"I suppose the time for stakeouts has come to an end," Mayumi offered.

Mana shrugged. "Guess so." Holding up her Eva's knife, Mana gleamed. "What say we settle this the old fashioned way?"

Mayumi brandished her progressive spear. "I wouldn't have it any other way…"

xxxxx

Professor Kyoko Soryu glanced at the operations director. "And? What exactly is your point, Captain?"

Misato stared, flabbergasted. "My point is that with every single Angel we've encountered, we've never managed to retrieve any part of their cores. We've managed to salvage parts of their bodies, no matter how significant the damage, but we've never managed to recover so much as a single particle of core material."

Kyoko just shrugged. "Of course not. They detonate completely. That's the only way to destroy an angel, Captain, you must know that."

Misato held her tongue. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe that a scientist almost as renowned as Naoko had been would think that about the Angels. It was almost as if someone had been feeding her false information…

"Now, are you going to continue wasting my time Captain, or did you have something real to discuss with me?"

Misato hid her frustration. "No, Professor. Sorry to interrupt."

Kyoko turned away, the event already forgotten, as Misato strutted down the halls, determined to figure out a few things from Ritsuko.

When she found the faux blonde, she was in her office, discussing something with Maya.

"Ritsuko," Misato called out. "Can you spare a moment?"

Ritsuko gave Maya a troubled look, before getting up and taking Misato by the arm and practically dragging her by the arm.

"Whoa, Ritsuko, all I wanted was a few-"

"I need a drink," Ritsuko proclaimed. "Now."

Misato blinked. "What the-"

"Misato…" Ritsuko said, through breaths of air. "What would you say to someone developing a crush on their superior officer?"

Misato shrugged. "What you mean like you and the Comman-?"

"This is _not_ the time to be bringing _that_ up," Ritsuko growled.

Misato held up her arms. "Okay, okay…umm, well, I don't think it's _too_ strange. I mean, a lot of times, admiration can lead to something more."

"What if…" Ritsuko breathed, heavily. "They were the same sex?"

Misato was about to launch into some tirade about not being judgmental, when the dots suddenly connected in her head.

"You mean…Maya…?"

Ritsuko didn't answer. She was already jamming euros into the vending machine, reaching down to retrieve the much needed alcoholic reprieve.

Misato exhaled. "Well…that certainly changes a few things…"

Ritsuko sat down in one of the lounge, downing half her beer. "No shit."

Misato tried to laugh. She didn't succeed. "Did she just now tell you?"

Ritsuko nodded. "It's just…too much to deal with right now, you know?"

"Yeah…" Misato said, getting a beer of her own, not to be left out.

They sat together for a few minutes, soaking in the reality of their new situation.

"So…" Ritsuko said, desperate to change the subject. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Misato blinked, before snapping back to reality. "Oh yeah – have you been feeding misinformation to Professor Soryu?"

Ritsuko's eyes went wide. "For the love of God, Misato, keep your voice down! You know every inch of NERV is monitored!"

Misato smiled, triumphantly. "So it's true. You've been telling Professor Soryu that an Angel's core fully detonates, we you and I know for a fact that NERV has recovered fallen cores before."

Ritsuko nodded, whispering. "Of course I have."

Misato pursed her lips. "Why? She's going to find out sooner or later that you've been keeping them to study by yourself."

Ritsuko blinked. "Myself? I haven't been keeping them at all, Misato. They really _do_ disappear."

Misato blinked. "What the…?"

Ritsuko nodded. "I know. I've been trying to figure it out since the seventh angel. None of the bodies we've recovered have cores."

Misato shook her head. "But why keep something like that from the Professor? If anything, she might have some idea of what's going on."

Ritsuko sighed, shaking her head. "Look, Misato…off the record?"

Misato nodded.

Ritsuko downed her beer, crumbling the can in her hand.

"The less that old hag knows…the better…"

xxxxx

"I just don't get it!" Mana exclaimed in the locker room. "How do you keep beating me, Mayumi?"

The bespectacled girl simply continued changing. "Because I fight with and open mind. My parents always taught me how to connect to the world around me be unified with nature."

Mana nodded, shrugging out of her plug suit.. "Oh yeah, your parents were feng shui masters weren't they? But how does that affect your fighting ability?"

Mayumi focused on the task at hand. "By understanding my surroundings. To do that, you have to see through both heart and soul. You fight with your heart Mana, but not with your soul. You have to find your true center if you wish to fight at your maximum capacity."

"What, you mean I don't fight with my soul?" Mana said, depositing her plug suit into the wash. "I'm centralized enough, aren't I?"

"Centralized?" she heard a mocking voice resonate from outside. "Half the day you're bouncing off the walls!"

"What did I say about peeking, Ken?" Mana retorted smartly.

"I'm not peeking!" Kensuke admonished. "You're just so loud, you're voice is echoing down the halls!"

"It is not!" Mana laughed. "You've got your ear pressed up against the door, and you know it!"

"I am not!" Kensuke corrected again. And he wasn't. He was standing right outside the door.

When Mana didn't reply, however, he did press his ear against the door.

"Mana?"

That's when the door suddenly flew open, sending Kensuke tumbling to the ground.

"A-ha!" Mana crowed. "I knew you were listening in on us, you sneak!"

Kensuke glared up at her. "That was a dirty trick, Ma…"

Kensuke died off when he saw Mana hovering over him wearing nothing but a towel

Mana winked. "What's wrong, Ken? You seemed so anxious to get every detail in before. Why stop now?"

Kensuke staggered to his feet, scrambling back into the sanctity of the men's room. "Crazy women! Both of you!"

Mana watched him flee, bursting into a cackling fit of laughter.

"That was really shameless, Mana," Mayumi chided, her own cheeks somewhat flushed. At least she'd have the decency to even _wear_ the towel.

"Aw, he had it coming," Mana sighed, strutting back into the locker room. "Why are you so concerned? Getting feelings for four eyes?"

Mayumi blushed. "That's not what I meant! I meant that you've really been kind of hard of on him ever since he got here."

Mana elbowed the black haired girl. "Don't forget, he lumped you in with me in his 'crazy women' rant."

Mayumi sighed. "Granted. So how about we both try to be a little easier on him from now on?"

Mana shrugged. "You can treat him however you want. Me? I'm having way too much fun tormenting the guy."

Mayumi smiled. "Now who's getting 'feelings for four eyes,' hmm?"

Mana's face lit up. "What the…? What are you talking about? There's no way I'd be interested in a nerd like that!"

Mayumi held up a finger. "I'd keep your voice down, Mana – he's in the next room you know."

Mana's shrill eep only earned her more sly chuckles.

xxxxx

Asuka threw a testing glance at Kaworu, who was sitting across from her enjoying a bread bowl of soup. No matter how many times she hit him with one of her trademark knockout smiles, he would just smile in return, seemingly unaffected. It was almost baffling.

They were seated at one of the cafés down the street from headquarters, a mere stones throw away from their residence hall. Kaworu had offered to buy, so obviously he was enjoying himself, but he was still the first boy Asuka had known whose intentions were a complete mystery.

Most boys she knew usually had one thing on their minds. But Kaworu had passed up numerous chances with her. Did that simply mean he was just being polite? Or was he just scheming to catch her off guard? Asuka had heard in vivid detail what had gone on between him and Rei, so she _knew_ he definitely into women, but…

"Asuka?" his voiced snapped her out of her reverie.

"Hmm?" she hummed, acting like nothing was amiss.

Kaworu shifted in his seat, resting his chin on his knuckles. "You haven't said a word all day. I invited you out this afternoon in hopes that we might have a pleasant chat."

Asuka bit her lip. "I know, I know…look, normally I'd be all for intelligent conversation, but there's been something that's been bothering me."

Kaworu tilted his head to the side. "Oh? Is it something you can discuss?"

Asuka exhaled. "Well…I've just been suspicious of this whole arrangement."

Kaworu blinked. "Arrangement?"

Asuka sat back in her chair. "I mean, two weeks ago, you were head over heels for Wondergirl, and now that she's not available, you've moved onto the next girl in your midst."

Kaworu exhaled. "You're worried that you're just a replacement?"

Asuka chewed on her lip. "You'll understand that the thought has crossed my mind more than once."

Kaworu idly stirred his soup. "I understand perfectly, Asuka…but let me assure you, you have nothing to worry about."

Asuka sighed, returning her attention to her salad, not sounding convinced at all.

"Perhaps I should explain something to you…" Kaworu cleared his throat. "Before Ayanami arrived in Munich, I haven't pursued a single romantic relationship."

Asuka raised an eyebrow.

"You see…" Kaworu laid down his soupspoon. "I've known about Ayanami for about as long as I was capable of conscious thought. I was convinced for years that she and I were destined to be together."

Asuka stared at the boy, her food forgotten. "What? Why?"

Kaworu shrugged. "Call it destiny. Call it a hunch. I grew up believing that if things were meant to happen, that they would happen. For the longest time, I was convinced that she and I were destined for each other."

Asuka pursed her lips. "But now?"

Kaworu sighed. "But now, she's made it clear that it was not to be. The very fact that she chose someone else is solid proof that my entire basis on fate and destiny is flawed. If she and I aren't meant to be together, then where's the sense in holding out for her when there such beauty awaits elsewhere in excess?"

Asuka cleared her throat. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Fifth Child."

Kaworu smiled. "It's not flattery if it's well deserved, Asuka."

Asuka stared hard at the boy. "So just like that, your entire life's meaning just changes? Most people would need more than just a single afternoon to sort through something like _that_."

Kaworu shrugged. "I come to decisions relatively quickly."

Asuka shrugged. "So, now that you're no longer bound to Rei, you're looking to broaden your horizons, is that it?"

Kaworu sighed, staring down at his soup. "Have I in any way dissatisfied you, Asuka? Does my reasoning for _why_ I chose to go out with you weigh so heavily on whether or not you _should_?"

Asuka looked away, her eyes going passive. "I don't trust people that easily, Kaworu. I'm not going to open up to you right away."

Kaworu smiled, picking up his spoon once again. "Then take your time. I'm quite good at waiting."

Asuka stared oddly at him. "It might take me months – years even."

Kaworu winked. "That's fine. I was convinced long ago that you were worth the wait."

Asuka felt her cheeks heat up. "Where would you…get a crazy idea like that?"

Kaworu smiled. "I have a way of reading people."

Asuka turned away. "And what kind of…reading…did I give you?"

Kaworu lifted his soupspoon to his mouth. "One of courage…of strength…and of fire."

Asuka swallowed hard. The sincerity in his voice nearly knocked her out of her chair. She looked back at the boy, but he was focused on his meal. Picking up her fork, Asuka tried desperately to figure out where her appetite had gone.

xxxxx

OMAKE!

Kaworu's Kendo Class, Episode #1

"_Sei Retsu_." Kaworu's voice echoed across the dojo-like simulator room.

Five Evas, Yellow, Purple, Red, Black and Green lined up before Unit 04, as he stood resolute with his katana firmly in hand.

"_Ja seiza_."

All at once, the Eva's dropped to their knees.

"_Mokuso_."

All five pilots in their Evas rested their hands together, eyes closed in meditation, breathing deep.

"_Mokuso yame_."

Everyone opened their eyes.

"Now, before we begin," Kaworu said, calmly. "Does anyone have any questions?"

Shinji's face appeared on Kaworu's screen. "Uh, yeah, um…why exactly do we have to meditate before training?"

Unit 04 calmly got to its feet and drew its sword.

SLICE!

Unit 01'a head fell to the ground.

"Does anyone _else_ have any questions?" Kaworu asked aloud.

Nobody spoke. Unit 01's body promptly fell over on the ground.

"Very well then…" Kaworu smiled. "_Hajime_!"

xxxxx

A/N: Not much to say, expect that the plot is moving right along. I've been searching around for info on Mayumi. I know she's supposedly got an angel core in her body, but I can't seem to find out which Angel it is. Does anyone happen to know?

Oh, about the omake – well, let's just say there have been a couple amusing antics going on in my kendo club. I thought this would be an interesting way to jot them down. Hope you enjoy!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

February 19th, 2016

Every time he so much as looked at them, he wanted to lash out at them and tear them to pieces. It would just be so easy, and they deserved it more than anyone on the planet. But he was effectively powerless to do anything to them at this point. All because of that God damned contract.

"So, we're getting more pilots?" Kaworu asked the nether realm, as giant floating monoliths surrounded him. "Have I proven dissatisfactory?"

The emotions of the board members were unreadable through their ideograms, yet Kaworu could see through each of their masks their condescending mistrust.

"It is not with you whom we are dissatisfied with, Fifth Child," one board member said. "It is with the other pilots."

Kaworu eyed the speaking member smartly. "And sending newer, less experienced pilots will somehow remedy this?"

All at once, Kaworu could feel their confident smirks upon him.

"Indeed it shall, Tabris," Keel spoke through his sleek 01 symbol. "_She_ is among the new pilots."

Kaworu's eyes flew open. "Another…?"

No more was said on the matter, as Kaworu mulled over this new piece of information.

They were sending _her_? He hadn't predicted a move like that – between the two of them, the board had more reason to mistrust her than they did himself. At least _he_ was bound by a contract. They had absolutely _no_ control over…

"She will be arriving within the week," one of the board members said. "You are not to reveal yourself to her, nor give her any hint as to her true purpose."

Kaworu nodded. _Ah…so that was their plan – she was to remain in ignorance._

"Very well, sirs," Kaworu shrugged. "I'll play along."

"Of course you will," Keel said arrogantly. "You have no choice."

Kaworu said nothing.

One by one the board members disappeared from view.

Kaworu smiled. "I am not called the Angel of Free Will for nothing, sirs…"

xxxxx

Aoi Mogami, Kaede Agano, and Satsuki Ohi, the resident bridge bunnies of Tokyo-3, watched the pilots from their vantage point in the old Third Branch Central Dogma. Aoi wore her dark blue hair at about neck length and bore a pair of glasses, Kaede cut her brunette hair even shorter, and Satsuki wore her long sandy colored hair in a loose braid.

Kensuke, Mana and Mayumi were seated in their test plugs, oblivious to the outside.

"Hi, ladies!" came a cheerful voice, as Kaji entered the command center.

Kaede and Aoi tried hiding a blush, while Satsuki nodded at the man. "Are you sill running errands, Mister Kaji?"

The pontytailed man shrugged. "'Fraid so. Looks like you're gonna be one pilot short from now on."

Aoi tried making eye contact. "It won't be a problem…unless the Angel's decide to attack us here in Tokyo-3 for some reason."

Kaji chuckled. "Stranger things have happened at this facility, sweetheart."

Satsuki suppressed a giggle as Aoi beamed at the use of a pet name.

Kaji cleared his throat. "So, who's the lucky winner?"

Kaede nodded at the pilot transcripts. "Take a wild guess."

Looking at the numbers, it didn't take Kaji long. "Mayumi, then?"

Kaede nodded. "Her standing's almost twice that of the other two. Our orders were to train the pilots until they've reached AT field manifestation. Hikari reached it first, since she had more than a week's head start, but Mayumi achieved it almost immediately after she left."

Aoi sighed, resting her elbow on the desk. "It seems it will only be Ken and Mana hanging around. With the skeleton crew the First Branch left us, it gets pretty lonely out here."

Kaji winked. "Well, maybe I could swing by some time to keep you guys company, huh?"

Even Satsuki couldn't stop her face from heating up at that remark. "You…think you'll have enough time, with all these errands you've been running?"

Kaji nodded at her, turning to go. "For you ladies? I'll make time."

All three ladies beamed as Kaji waved goodbye.

xxxxx

Ritsuko looked up from her work. "Shinji?"

The boy nodded, standing in her office doorway. "Dr. Akagi…you said earlier that there was something you wanted to talk to me about?"

Ritsuko blinked, before shaking her head. "Oh, right…yes. Yes, please, sit down."

Shinji stepped in, curious. "Are you alright, Dr. Akagi?"

Ritsuko ran a hand through her hair. "It's nothing – there's just been a lot on my mind lately." She removed the half-burned cigarette from her mouth, eying it quizzically. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

Shinji shrugged, sitting in her seat provided. "It's your office."

Ritsuko nodded, ceding, taking a puff. "Alright, alright…" she gathered her thoughts. "There's been a lot on my mind lately, and no small amount of it concerning you and your family."

Shinji blinked. "My…family?"

Ritsuko nodded. "Yes. The first thing I'd like to get off my chest is that your mother and mine had long ago given me instructions to do whatever could be done to dissuade you and Rei from dating."

Shinji inhaled. "They went that far? I knew neither of them really liked the idea, but…"

"Shinji, listen," Ritsuko sighed. "Your mother loved you. She only wanted what was best for you. And my mother…well, she wanted what was best for Rei. And they knew…they both knew…that it was potentially hazardous for you two to, uh…commingle."

Shinji eyed her oddly. "Hazardous? Is this because of her DNA?"

Ritsuko's eyes widened. "Her…what do you know about that?"

Shinji shrugged. "Just what my father told me: that she was part angel. Lillith, if I remember."

"He told you _that_?" Ritsuko blinked. "That's certainly a big risk for the Commander to be taking. What else has he told you?"

Shinji shook his head. "Nothing more; it was just to explain why she was drawn to Kaworu."

Ritsuko relaxed her shoulders. A little. "But that doesn't bother you? That she's part angel?"

Shinji shook his head. "Not really. She acts human enough. Sure, she's unfamiliar with certain things, but that's what makes her so…" Shinji suddenly blushed. "I mean…she'd hardly be _Rei_ if she didn't act the way she does. I don't think I'd like her if she didn't."

Ritsuko frowned. "And you've never worried about her maybe siding with the rest of the Angels?"

Shinji shook his head. "She hasn't sided with them yet, so that's a good sign, right? Besides, you guys certainly know more about her than I do, and if _you guys_ trust her enough to pilot Eva and fight the angels, then there's no reason that I shouldn't."

Ritsuko sighed. "So naïve, Shinji…"

Shinji frowned. "Um…"

"I find it hard to believe that you could continue to go about this way after what happened on the voyage at sea."

Shinji looked away. So far, he thought been doing a pretty good job of forgetting anything had happened. Why did people insist on bringing it up?

"I don't like to think about it," Shinji grumbled.

Ritsuko nodded. "But that doesn't change the fact that it happened, Shinji."

The boy shook his head. "Of course it happened! But I'm a pilot – I can't let things like that disturb me. Once this whole war is…then maybe, it'll all seem more real, and I'll be able to cry." Shinji bit his lip. "But I can't let it get to me, Dr. Akagi. Rei…lost her mother too…so I have to be strong for her…"

Ritsuko drew in a breath.

"And…" Shinji looked up in realization. "Dr. Akagi…_you_ lost your mother too…"

Ritsuko chewed her lip, smashing her cigarette into an ashtray.

"That's why you called me down here, isn't it?" Shinji asked, softly. "After that whole trip, it's almost like we've forgotten about them already…just wrote them off…didn't we? My father wouldn't have spoken about it…so you thought that I maybe I would?"

Ritsuko looked sadly at him. "I was close to both of them, Shinji…half a year ago, I couldn't have imagined living without either of them…and then all the sudden…"

Ritsuko felt her eyes getting damp. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry that you have to see me like this, Shinji…it's just that-"

Ritsuko didn't get the rest out, because Shinji had already gotten to his feet and was wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"It's okay, Dr. Akagi…" he cooed. "I miss them too…"

Ritsuko knew she should have just pushed him away. She should have been the adult and contained herself, but she'd be doing that ever since it happened. And now, after all this time, it finally felt good to simply let it out.

Shinji's collar was stained wet from her tears as she sobbed into his shirt, and with each heave, Shinji clutched her more tightly. He felt a little silly, comforting an older woman like this. He didn't really know her that well, but they had been working together for years, and he knew what kind of toll revealing something like this took on a person. So, he just held her, hoping nobody would get any suspicious ideas.

Then something happened that he hadn't expected. He felt his own tears. No, not now. They may be having a moment, but he'd promised himself he would be strong until after the war.

"Excuse me, Dr. Akagi," he croaked, gently pushing her away. "But there's someone I have to see…thank you for sharing that with me."

Ritsuko nodded through still fresh tears. "I understand, Shinji…and you're welcome."

With a nod, Shinji rushed out of the office, desperately looking for Rei.

He found her stepping out of the locker room, having just changed into her school clothes, her still damp locks a tangled mess. Without warning, he rushed her, taking her into his arms, burying his face against her shoulder.

"Shinji!?" Rei gasped as he grabbed her. "What's wrong?"

"I…I'm sorry, Rei, it's…it's just mom…" Shinji managed to get out, between sobbing breaths.

Rei's eyes softened, and she released a breath. "Oh…I see…" She cautiously stroked his hair. "I…I don't know what to say, Shinji…except that it will be all right…"

Shinji hugged her desperately, looking up at her with a tearful smile. "That…that's just what I needed to hear, Rei…"

Rei found herself smiling as he buried his eyes within the fold of her collar once more.

Elsewhere, Ritsuko was still facing her grief on her own, when two thin arms found their way around her shoulders.

"Shh…" a soft voice cooed. "It's okay, Senpai…"

As grieved as Ritsuko felt right then, the discomfort that normally arose from touching her subordinate (now that she knew of the young woman's attraction to her) was gone, as Ritsuko just simply clutched the warming arms, taking whatever comfort she could grasp.

Maya knew this could be seen as taking advantage of her at a difficult time, but she didn't care – she didn't expect anything to change with this embrace. She didn't expect for the faux blonde to suddenly accept her feelings simply because of this moment of weakness. She was simply offering comfort to someone she cared for, nothing more nothing less.

Ritsuko couldn't have been more grateful.

xxxxx

"So Kensuke's also been training to be a pilot?" Toji asked Hikari as the two of them sat at one of NERV's cafeterias.

Hikari sipped her drink, casually. "Yep. Though it hasn't been easy for him. His entry plug's visual scope had to be adjusted to accommodate his shortsightedness, and his synch rate's been lagging since day one."

Toji chuckled. "If I know Kensuke, he's not letting that get him down."

Hikari giggled, remembering the first day Kensuke arrived at NERV, drooling like a kid in a candy store, crying that they confiscated his video camera.

"Yeah…"

"Hikari…?" Toji asked, lowering his eyes.

"Hmm…? What is it, Toji?"

Toji looked up, locking eyes with her.

"Why did you do this?"

For a long time, Hikari didn't say anything. She looked at her hands, her eyes unfocused, and Toji couldn't tell if she was nervous or relieved.

"For several reasons…" the young woman said. "Because it was the right thing to do, because it would make a world of difference to everyone, my family, my friends…" Hikari blushed. "And yes, I admit, I didn't know what I was getting myself into, and I knew I didn't…but I think it was worth it."

"Why?"

Hikari sighed. "Well, I got to see you again, didn't I?"

Toji just sighed, shaking his head. "Silly girl…"

Hikari grinned. "Ok, well, why do _you_ pilot Eva?"

Toji bit his lip. "Well…maybe I'm just fooling myself, but lately, we've only been winning by the skin of our teeth. I know I don't contribute to much, but I always seem to be the one to give us that extra little push at the end." Toji laughed. "At first, I piloted for my sister's sake. But lately…lately, I've started thinking…that I pilot Eva because…I _have _to. It can't be any other way."

Hikari sighed. "And you called _my_ reasoning silly."

Toji prodded her calf with his foot. "Who you callin' silly?"

Hikari giggled, kicking him back. "Oh, I'm calling _you_ silly!"

Toji yelped. "Ouch! Hey, watch it!"

The two kept laughing.

xxxxx

February 20th, 2016

"Promoted to Major after just one year of service," Ritsuko commented idly as the two of them stood in front of the sink in the ladies room. "Congratulations. Kaji said he wanted to throw you a surprise party."

Misato groaned, pulling at her cheek, eying her reflection in a small mirror in her hand. "That kinda ruins the whole "surprise" aspect of it. Now I'm gonna have to avoid him all day."

Ritsuko sighed. "Misato, you're just pretending to hate him at this point. It'd be a lot easier on yourself and the rest of us if you just admit you still have feelings for the guy."

Misato smirked back at the doctor. "What was that, Ritsuko? Something about a bridge bunny getting a crush on her superior?"

Ritsuko groaned. "Alright, alright, I'll shut my yap."

Misato snapped her mirror shut. "Changing the subject…how on Earth have they finished production on all nine of the Eva's already? I thought they wouldn't be completed for another year."

Ritsuko smiled. "You can thank the late Commander Ikari and my mother for that. Their innovations really sped things along."

"Still…" Misato frowned. "That doesn't explain how NERV or the UN got that kind of financial backing."

Ritsuko almost laughed. "Oh that's easy. Our good friend Professor Soryu has been ranting and raving about it since she got wind of the Eva's. Apparently, the board felt it was more important to get more Eva's than to wait for the S2 engines to be fitted for the new models."

"So, in other words, they cut corners."

"Exactly. Units 05 through 08 were fitted with the Eva's standard internal battery. The plan, apparently, is to have Shinji, Rei and Asuka pilot these new models while units 00, 01, and 02 are fitted with the latest S2 engines, and then switch them back while 05 through 08 get their S2 engines. The goal is to optimize our maximum fighting capacity, without leaving us shorthanded."

"But won't the pilots be handicapped by piloting unfamiliar machines?"

"Way ahead of you, Misato."

xxxxx

Shinji didn't know what to think as the cool blue Unit 08 wheeled into place in the Eva cages. Off to the side, he could see more Eva units lined up: the tan colored Unit 07, trimmed with different shades so that it had the appearance of desert camouflage; the brown and green Unit 06, this one adhering to shades of jungle camouflage; and the ocean green Unit 05, Hikari's model. All of them had the same faces as Units 03 and 04. Shinji couldn't help but wonder if NERV was preparing the individual units for different terrains. The sync tests scheduled for later that week for different pilots in different units might have something to do with that.

Shinji's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a soft humming coming from down the ramp. A split second later, he recognized the song.

"Who…?" Shinji spoke up, before his voice died off, as he saw the girl humming. She had long black hair, with a pair of glasses resting on her nose. She was carrying a handful of books in her arm, but her attention was focused on the navy blue Eva.

"You're Shinji, right?"

Shinji blinked, before realizing he had been spoken to. "Huh?"

The girl eyed him curiously. "The Second Child, right? Shinji Ikari? Kensuke told me about you."

Shinji caught himself. "Oh, yes, I am…and, uh, who might you be?"

The girl inclined her head. "The Ninth Child, Mayumi Yamagishi. Nice to meet you."

"The Ninth? What happened to seven and eight?"

"Still in training," Mayumi explained. "Though I don't know how good I am compared to the rest of you. I mean, you've seen actual combat. What's it like?"

Shinji shuddered, lowering his eyes. "It's not like the simulator. Everything that can go wrong _does_ go wrong. And that's on a good day. Sometimes, things go wrong in ways that are impossible to predict."

"Gosh…" Mayumi breathed. "How on Earth do you manage?"

Shinji smiled. "You gotta enjoy the little pleasures," he winked.

Mayumi tilted her head "Like what?"

Shinji checked his watch. "Did I get the time wrong?"

Mayumi had about two seconds to blink before she saw a thin pair of arms come around Shinji's shoulders.

"There you are…" Rei scolded. "Didn't I say to meet at the cafe?"

Shinji hugged her back, ignoring the blushing Mayumi. "I thought you said _cages_."

Rei poked his cheek. "How does one mistake _cafe_ for _cage_? The two words sound nothing alike. Besides, why would I want meet here? This place is so cold and lonely, and there's nothing to do here. Besides conversing with young brunettes, apparently."

Shinji blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry. This is Mayumi Yamagishi, the Ninth Child. Mayumi, this is-"

"Rei Ayanami, the First Child?" Mayumi offered. "Of course, I've hear so much about you both!"

"Except our relationship, it seems…" Rei said grudgingly.

Mayumi felt her cheeks redden. "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying anything, I promise! I actually just got here, and I was anxious to see the Eva's and meet my fellow pilots."

Shinji leered. "Oh, don't worry…" He gently poked Rei beneath the ribs and was rewarded with a shrill eep. "Rei didn't mean anything by it."

Rei blinked. "I didn't?"

"So…" Shinji decided the conversation was in need of a change. "Have you met any of the other pilots or any of the staff?"

Mayumi shook her head. "Not yet."

Shinji smiled. "Well, why don't we find the others so we can introduce-"

"Shinji!" Rei groaned, sounding insulted.

The boy flinched. "Oh, right. Sorry, Rei and I have a prior engagement."

Mayumi bowed her head. "Oh, don't worry. I'll meet up with everyone soon enough."

Shinji inclined his in return. "We'll see you later tonight then."

Mayumi blinked. "Tonight?"

"You…are staying in the pilots' dorm, right?"

Mayumi gasped. "A dorm? You mean…boys and girls, sleeping _together_?"

Shinji blinked. "It's no big deal. We each have our own rooms, and there're separate boys' and girls' bathrooms."

Mayumi blushed furiously. "Still…it seems so…_wrong_!"

Rei was growing impatient with the girl. "I'm sure you can apply for separate residence. Now if you don't mind, Shinji, I would like to get going. It's not everyday our schedules allow for mutual free time."

Shinji flinched, turning to follow Rei down the ramp. "Sorry, sorry…see you later, Mayumi."

The black haired girl waved, her face still uncomfortably red. "Bye!"

Rei stepped lightly. "Honestly, the _cages_ of all places? I'm inclined to make you cover our lunch tab just for that!"

"I said I was sorry!" Shinji winced, feeling henpecked. "We made the date while I was in the middle of a training session with Kaworu for crying out loud."

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Rei frowned. "With a new skirt to chase, I'd have thought he wouldn't be far behind."

Shinji sighed. "He's not _that _bad. Besides, he's involved with Asuka last I checked."

"You and I were a solid item, and that did little to dissuade him."

"It's not the same when it's the other way around," Shinji sighed. "I think you're just bitter."

"Let him feel _you_ up and tell me how you feel about him."

Shinji laughed. "Point taken. In that case, you'll be happy to know he's busy training the new recruits in the simulator."

Rei smiled, snaking her arm through his. "Good - that means he won't be needing _you _anytime soon."

Shinji felt chills go up his spine. "Is it a bad thing that I like where this is going?"

"They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Shinji flinched as she clutched him tighter, sniffing back tears.

"Oh, Rei…" he sighed, stopping to wrap his arm around her. "I'm sorry. Even though we work together, it's almost as if we don't have any time for each other."

Rei sniffed again, holding his body close. Lately, she had been called into the basement for more and more tests, and Kaworu was keeping Shinji busy with sword training. Moments like these were too few and far between.

"I promise, Rei…" he cooed into her hair. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

Re couldn't have stopped the tears if she'd tried.

"Thank you…"

xxxxx

Kaworu was smiling. While the two trainees had little to boast in the way of combat experience, he had to admit, they were _really_ cute together.

"Ouch!" Hikari yelped. "Toji!"

The green Eva recoiled as the black one comically shrugged its shoulders.

"Hey, that's what you get for calling me silly."

"Will you never let that go?"

"Not until you take it back!"

"But it _was_ silly! Why would you pilot Eva for something like that!"

"Kaworu," Toji whined. "Could you explain to this girl why piloting Eva because you have to _isn't_ silly?"

Kaworu sighed. "No reason for piloting Eva is silly. If it motivates you, then it's legitimate."

Hikari sighed. "Ok, then why do _you_ pilot?"

Kaworu thought about that. "Hmm…I guess you could say I pilot because I want to."

That earned him some stares.

"You _want_ to?"

Kaworu shrugged. "I've always been good at it. I feel…at home in my Eva. I can't explain it."

That was a lie, of course. He knew exactly why he enjoyed it. Being immersed in such a magnificent being drove the Angel inside of him to near ecstatic joy.

"Well, at least _wanting _to is better than _having _to."

"What's wrong with feeling obligated to do somethin'? It means I'm a responsible human being!"

"Responsible? You?"

Kaworu sighed. Neither of them was concentrating on training, but he supposed it didn't matter. He could stop any invading Angel if he really wanted to. It was more important that they enjoy each other's company.

Besides, the other would be here soon, and he had high hopes for her.

"Um…excuse me, but…" a face appeared on his screen. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

Ah, speak of the devil…

"Certainly, Ninth Child," Kaworu said with a smile. "You're just in time for training."

A digital replica of a dark blue Eva, just a shade or two lighter than Unit 03, materialized in the air above the electronic cityscape, before dropping to her feet. She slipped, however, and Unit 08 fell over on its backside.

Kaworu had to stifle a laugh. _This_ was the other that he had been so fearful of?

"Ow, ow, ow…" Mayumi stammered, getting to her feet. "Our simulator back in Tokyo-3 never did that!"

"It's advisable to keep on your toes, Ninth Child."

The blue Eva bowed its head. "Oh, sorry! My name is Mayumi Yamagishi!"

Unit 04 bowed in return. "Kaworu Nagisa. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, hi Mayumi!" Hikari's shrill voice cried. "So, you got selected for the next pilot?"

Mayumi's face appeared on her screen. "Oh, Hikari! I guess so. Is this Toji?"

Hikari smiled proudly. "Yep. Toji, this is Mayumi. Mayumi, meet the king of all goofs."

Toji waved hi on screen. "Yo."

Kaworu chuckled. "Well, now that the pleasantries are out of the way…Toji, Hikari, you keep running through your drills. I'd like to see what Mayumi is capable of."

The blue Eva inclined her head as the two lovebirds waltzed off, bickering all the way.

"I'm not…that good…"

Kaworu held his spear, unconvinced. "Choose your weapon."

Mayumi hesitated, before an identical spear materialized in her Eva's hands.

"Here I come…" she warned, and she leapt into a charge.

Kaworu deflected her spear, and she immediately followed through, sending the butt of her spear into his Eva's chin. Kaworu's head flew back, and he just barely managed to dodge being stabbed through the chest.

Kaworu regained his footing and lunged back, but she matched him blow for blow, and soon had him on the run.

Kaworu eyed Mayumi's face, which was contorted in concentration. But there was no malice, no hidden agenda. She was deceptively powerful - even she herself didn't know that the moves she was pulling were next to impossible.

"You don't have to hold back, Mister Nagisa."

Kaworu was agape. Even scarier - she was convinced she could do better! Kaworu was giving his all, and she had no idea that she was already a master, on par with he himself.

They kept fighting for an immeasurable amount of time, neither able to get the upper hand. Finally, Kaworu held up his hand, and the two of them stood down, facing off against each other, each of them gasping for breath.

Before either could say anything however, the Angel alarm went off.

xxxxx

"So why do you pilot Eva?"

After a haphazard introduction (which was made moot by the fact that introductions had already been made) and an equally haphazard plan of action ("Catch the Angel in your hands. Your Eva's have hands, right?"), all seven children were riding the lift, the looming bodies of their Eva's, units 00, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, and 08, coming into view.

Mayumi blushed at the question. "What do you mean, Hikari?"

The brunette shrugged. "I pilot because it's the right thing to do. Toji says he pilots because he feels he _has _to. Kaworu says he actually _enjoys _it. How about you?"

Mayumi blushed. "Well…one day, my parents asked me to. And I've been doing it ever since."

Hikari frowned. "So…you pilot because someone told you to?"

Mayumi nodded. "Um…yeah?"

"Oh, come on!" Asuka butted in. "You've got to have a better reason than that!"

Hikari sighed. "Oh…well, how about you, Asuka?"

Asuka smirked. "Well, that should be obvious. It's something I can do better than anyone else. So I pilot to prove myself, to myself, my family, and to the world."

Hikari nodded. "That _should _have been obvious. How about you, Rei?"

Rei was bitter, her date with Shinji interrupted by the Angel alarm. "It's my lot in life. My purpose."

Hikari wasn't sure how she felt about these answers.

"And you, Shinji?"

Shinji, who was just as bitter, looked the other way. "Beats the alternative."

Hikari bit her lip. Toji's palms were sweating. Mayumi was praying that she didn't screw up. Kaworu, on the other hand, remained suspicious.

Just what was Mayumi's deal?

xxxxx

He got his answer soon enough.

"Mayumi, stop!" Misato hollered. "I haven't given the order to run yet! Stop!"

All seven Eva's circled in a heptagon around Munich, waiting for exact coordinates of the Angel's drop zone to be released, when Mayumi had just…taken off.

"Trust me, Major!" Mayumi shouted. "I know what I'm doing!"

Her steel blue Eva darted across the cityscape, while the other Eva's stood in their ready-set positions.

"Everyone…" Kaworu said on a private band. "I'm going to follow her lead. I advise you do the same."

His computer calculated her likely target drop zone and Unit 04 took off.

"Kaworu!" Asuka stammered, her face appearing on his shaking screen. "What are you doing?"

"Just trying to confirm something, Asuka…" Kaworu said, concentrating on following Mayumi's heat trail.

Misato bit her lip. "Pilots! Launch! Follow Unit 08!"

The technicolor Eva's all broke into a run, dashing towards the drop zone.

"What's going on in your head, Mayumi?" Kaworu breathed after switching off his comm link. He could see her now. She was dead on - her path would place her directly beneath the Angel.

Unit 08 screeched to a halt, planting its feet, and drew out its AT field.

That's when stuff started blowing up.

The entire area around her vaporized in an instant, buildings, asphalt, bedrock, and even the top layer of the German geo-front. Everything just started to disintegrate.

"What's going on!?" Misato demanded. "Has the Angel hit?"

"I can't tell!" Ritsuko covered her ears from the sonic booms.

All the pilots were running blind, overcome by the explosion of light in front of them.

But Kaworu could see it clearly.

By the time the Angel hit, it was scarcely a blip on the screen. The Angel didn't even enter into the equation. The destruction that was amounting was caused entirely by the AT field.

"I see…that's why you sent her…" Kaworu grinned, talking to himself. "You forbade me from alerting her, but you forgot to take into account the possibility of _her _alerting all of NERV through her actions… Her AT field…" Kaworu was laughing now. "Her AT field is even more powerful than my own!"

Mayumi had caught the Angel all by herself. She was scarcely trying. She even managed to cut through her own AT field and stab the Angel's core, destroying it moments later.

"Incredible…" Kaworu sighed in awe. "She's amazing! This just got very, very interesting…"

It took NERV hours to even figure what had hit them.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

March 2nd, 2016

Mana paced the streets of Tokyo-3. Life had been boring as all get out after Hikari had left. Now that Mayumi was gone, it was downright unbearable! Mana had never considered herself one of the "popular girls." She had never been particularly fond of shopping and going to movies and all that other crap that most girls her age occupied themselves with. She didn't even have that much interest in boys, though Kaji was a clear exception.

Mana, sick and tired of training in the simulator, had gone off in search of someone to socialize with. Kensuke was nowhere to be found, and the NERV techs, Aoi, Kaede and Satsuki, weren't particularly interesting to talk to, and with nothing else to occupy her during her time off, she meandered here and there, leaving the city and entering the suburbs, determined to vanquish this persistent enemy known as boredom.

When she saw the figure running about through the fields, she almost fell over.

"Is that who I think it is?" she exclaimed, aghast, as she approached the figure, running like a madman.

All of the sudden, he fell over.

"Captain!" she heard him exclaim.

The all too familiar voice confirmed it, though she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"A…Aida! Go on without me!"

"Captain! Not without you!"

Mana giggled. He was actually doing his own dialogue!

"You fool!" she could seem him throwing a punch at an imaginary companion. Then, as quick as he could, he switched places, and fell over as though punched, exclaiming in mock pain.

Was he just playing around, or was he out of his mind?

Mana peeked her head over Kensuke, as he lay on his back, staring at the sky. Kensuke's expression changed visibly.

"M-Mana!" he suddenly sat up, backing away.

Mana looked at him incredulously. "Ken? What on _earth_ were you doing?"

The sandy-haired boy just looked embarrassed. "Nothing! Just…messing around…"

He winced, waiting for her condescending taunt. But when he opened his eyes, her attention wasn't even on him.

It was on his firearm.

"Is this the real thing!?"

Kensuke blinked, hefting the 7.7mm WWII Model 99 rifle in his hand. "What, this thing? Yeah, it's real. It's not an original though, and it doesn't have any live rounds, but-"

"Wow!" Mana exclaimed. "Can I hold it?"

Kensuke blinked, and it didn't occur to him to make any obscene jokes. "S-sure…"

Mana took the weapon in her arms, weighed it, aimed it, and unlocked the firing gauge, double-checking Kensuke's claim for it being unarmed.

"Where'd you get something like this?" Mana demanded, still riveting.

"My dad collects them," Kensuke chuckled. "He ordered this one online, and was kinda pissed when he found out that it was a remake, so he gave it to me."

Mana eyed the chamber, suspiciously. "It's not a 6.5 mm?"

Kensuke shook his head. "Nah, but it's pretty much a re-chambered version of the Meiji 38. After the 1930's, they decided the 6.5 mm wasn't packing enough punch, so they supped it up."

Mana nodded. "I see. What's the range on this thing?"

Kensuke cracked a smile. "I've never actually _fired_ it. The thing's so old, I doubt they make bullets for it anymore."

Mana nodded, and handed the rifle back to him. "Have you ever actually handled a modern firearm before?"

Kensuke tried sounding tough. "Yeah, once or twice…"

Mana smirked. She could tell he was lying.

"Tell you what – why don't you put all this stuff away, and I'll show you what handling a _real_ weapon feels like…"

Kensuke's eyes lit up. Literal or metaphorical, he had a feeling he was gong to like what Mana had in mind.

xxxxx

"WHAT!?!?!!"

Shinji and the rest of the pilots covered their ears as Mayumi practically screeched in discontent.

"You want us to walk in there _naked_!?!?!"

Asuka grimaced. She had been planning on voicing a similar opinion, but the thought had been quite adequately expressed.

"It's a super clean room," came Ritsuko's explanation, that wasn't really an explanation. "Just taking a shower and changing your clothes isn't enough. "

"You can't seriously expect us to _do_ this!" Mayumi gapped.

"Seriously!" Asuka chimed. "All for some autopilot program?"

"We need a steady influx of fresh data," came the voice over the speaker. "Don't worry – the camera's have been turned off. We _do_ respect your privacy."

Seventeen runs of decontamination later, seven stalls opened up to the sterile white hallway leading to their Evas, the seven current Eva pilots standing with a mixture of expressions on their face, none of them too happy.

"You're telling me we have to walk out there in plain site of these _boys_!?" Mayumi shrieked, covering her chest, even though the individual stalls blocked all site of her.

Asuka grimaced. Though she shared Mayumi's opinion, she wasn't sure she liked her reasoning. Asuka's revulsion to this idea was one of personal respect. Mayumi's objection came from chaste abject terror.

Shinji just cringed. "Do we really have to do this?"

Rei didn't react. "I see nothing wrong with it."

Toji grimaced, eyes held snugly shut. "Says you! I'm screwed no matter how you look at this!"

"Why is that?" Kaworu asked, calmly.

"Have you seen Asuka when she's angry?" Toji demanded, eyes still squeezed shut. "And what's almost as bad, have you seen _Hikari_ when she's angry!?"

Hikari pouted, red in the face. "Pipe down, Toji! I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are."

Shinji sighed. "I say the guys should go out first."

Toji flinched. "What!? Why!?"

"So the girls don't have to be so insecure," Shinji shrugged. "It's the chivalrous thing to do. I'm sure the girls are much less likely to check us out as we're walking."

Toji gritted his teeth. "And if they do!?"

Shinji winked at Rei. "Then we can only hope they enjoy the show."

Rei felt her cheek color.

"That's gross!" Asuka yelped. "Who'd wanna see any of your skinny asses, anyway!?"

"Then simply keep your eyes closed," Kaworu interjected, before Shinji could rebut. "I trust you, Asuka."

"Well, _I_ don't!" Toji objected.

"I am _not_ gonna look at you, Toji!" Asuka growled. "I would sooner eat a dead skunk!"

"Fine then," Toji huffed. "Just so long as none of the guys look either."

All eyes fell on Kaworu.

"What?" the boy asked, innocently.

"What have I done to deserve this…?" Mayumi pleaded with a higher power.

"Have you all finished squabbling?" Ritsuko's voice came over the speakers. "We'd like to get on with this."

"Alright guys," Shinji sighed. "Normally, it's ladies first, but in our case…well, here we go…"

Shinji and Kaworu stepped out of the stalls, keeping their faces forward.

"Toji!" Hikari yelped. "Wake up!"

Toji still had his eyes closed. "Ack! We're going out _now_!?"

"No, we decided on some tea first!" Hikari reached over the stalls an pinched his ear. "Of _course_ you're going out now!"

Toji yelped and hurried after the other boys.

There was a pause, before the doors hissed shut, leaving the girls on their own.

"So, did you like what you saw, Rei?"

The blue haired girl flushed. "I don't know what you're implying, Asuka. I had my eyes averted."

"Oh. Too bad. It was cute, by the way."

Rei's cheeks reddened. "I assume you are referring to Shinji?"

Asuka flipped her hair. "Heck no, Shinji's yesterday's news. I was checking out Kaworu."

Morbid curiosity overpowered Rei's teenage mind. "And?"

Asuka grinned. "You shoulda stuck with the Fifth Child, Rei. Kaworu's got quite an ass."

Rei fidgeted, insecurely.

"Shinji's wasn't bad though."

Rei's blush deepened.

"I can hear every word you're saying, you know?" Hikari growled. "And you better not have been checking out Toji while I had my back turned!"

Asuka chuckled. Oh, this was _too_ fun! "Why would I be interested in that pig? Besides, you two are dating – why not take the opportunity to scope out the goods?"

Hikari blushed. "It…shouldn't be done like this…"

"Alright, ladies, the boys are in their entry plugs," Ritsuko groaned through the speaker. "Can we move along?"

With a sigh, Rei, Asuka and Hikari marched through the gates in all their feminine splendor.

"Mayumi?" Ritsuko called over the speaker. "What's the hold up?"

Mayumi was not so much Mayumi as she was a puddle of mush on the floor for as embarrassed as she had been.

"Oh, right! Sorry!"

It had taken several seconds for Asuka to begin to wonder how Ritsuko had known Mayumi had lagged behind with the cameras switched _off_.

xxxxx

POP! POP! POP!

Muffled by the sound blocking earmuffs that were required in the shooting arcade, the echo of gunfire sounded surprisingly faint to Kensuke's ears, but that didn't take away from the feeling that arose every time he squeezed the trigger.

"This is so cool!"

Mana was inclined to agree. And for an amateur, his aim was rather precise. So much so that he outclasses even her!

"Years and years of arcade games," Kensuke said when she'd asked him about it after their practice shooting. "I'm telling you, video games of today are slowly turning our youth into capable soldiers."

Mana playfully tussled his hair. "Then why do I keep beating you in the simulator, huh?"

Kensuke batted her away. "Cause we never play sniper king! All we ever do are those stake-out missions that let you sneak up on me."

Mana raised an eyebrow.

"I may be a god with a scope, but I can't do stealth to save my life!"

The girl sighed. "Honestly, Kensuke, it's a wonder they even chose you as a pilot! I mean, I've trained in the army for years, and Mayumi's just so naturally talented. How did you land a position at NERV?"

"Sync rates, probably," Kensuke shrugged. "Hikari hasn't had any formal training either, and she got chosen too. Her sync rate was also pretty high. Yours isn't much higher than mine, either! Besides, training can be made up for."

The two of them strolled out of the shooting gallery and back into town.

"Here," Mana said, handing him a drink out of a vending machine that they passed. "One drink, as per our bet."

Kensuke grinned, popping the top and guzzling down.

"Ah, the sweet taste of victory!"

Mana rolled her eyes. "Don't get used to it. I intend to school you when we get back to NERV."

Kensuke glanced at his watch. "Aww, can it wait till tomorrow? It's getting late!"

"Delaying the inevitable isn't going to change the fact that it's gonna happen," Mana laughed.

"Fine then," Kensuke said. "But after you beat me into a pulp, I demand a round of sniper king!"

Mana sighed, smiling privately. "Deal…"

xxxxx

Things really couldn't have gone much worse than this as far as Mayumi was concerned. Not only had her superiors insisted on her and her colleagues joint nudity while piloting, but something had gone wrong with the project, and the entry plugs were ejected out of Central Dogma and into the outskirts of the city.

The ending result: Waiting for a recovery team that may or may not be coming in the dead of night _without_ life support.

"God _damnit_, it's cold!" Asuka screeched into the night, her arms clutched around her body.

"Yes, let's keep screaming about it, Asuka," Toji rolled his eyes at the blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Asuka. "That'll make all the difference in the world."

"Oh, give her a break, Toji," a blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Hikari sighed, a note of exasperation in her voice. "None of us are all too happy to be here."

The blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Kaworu, being the gentleman he was, offered his aide to the yowling redhead. "If you're so cold in there, Asuka, I could-"

"No, no, NO!" Asuka growled, in no mood for games. "I would gladly get hypothermia before allowing a single _one_ of you in here with me!"

Hikari blinked. "Even me, Asuka?"

"I'm just not comfortable with it, Hikari!" Asuka grumbled. "No offense, but the thought of spooning another girl isn't all that thrilling, even if it'll preserve body heat or whatever!"

Rei, who had remained decided silent, decided to check on her likewise silent love interest.

"Shinji?" she said to the blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Shinji. "Are you well?"

The "sound only" communicator display just grumbled.

"Define 'well.'"

Rei hesitated before speaking again.

"In a good or satisfactory manner; thoroughly, carefully or soundly; in a moral or proper manner; to a considerable-"

"Rei?"

"Yes Shinji?"

"…I love it when you talk, Rei. Keep talking for me, would you?"

As Rei continued listing off definitions of the word "well," a blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Asuka just laughed.

"I think Shinji's losing it! Quick, Rei! Get into his entry plug and warm him up!"

"Understood," Rei nodded, priming her plug's airlock.

Hikari and Mayumi (Or at least the blank "sound only" communicator displays that may or may not have been Hikari and Mayumi), gasped in outright shock.

"Rei, NO!"

The blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Toji sighed. "You know, we could probably avoid all this confusion is we'd just turn on our visual displays."

This time, Hikari and Asuka (Or at least, the blank "sound only" communicator displays that may or may not have been Hikari and Asuka) blared in his ear.

"If your finger goes anywhere _near_ that "enable visual" switch Monkey Boy, I will personally extricate and feed you your own gallbladder!"

Hikari's dialect didn't allow for anything quite so colorful, so all she could muster after that was a meek, feeble, "Yeah…what she said!"

The blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Kaworu spoke up. "If it's so objectionable for Rei to warm Shinji with her body, then would there be any objections to my doing it instead?"

An awkward silence passed between the entry plugs, all save for the sniveling that came from the blank "sound only" communicator display that may or may not have been Mayumi.

"How did I get mixed up with these _lunatics_!?"

xxxxx

The lookout point was particularly beautiful that night, Kensuke thought with a smile. Or maybe it was the company. Either way, it had been a fun day. As a way of thanking Mana for taking him to the shooting gallery, Kensuke had taken her out to dinner. The time had simply passed, and they'd forgotten all about Eva, at least, for the evening.

Kensuke weighed his options and casually slung his arm around Mana's shoulders as they sat back on the grass.

Mana fixed him with a sly grin. "Getting kinda cozy there, Ken."

Kensuke flinched. "Oh…sorry…"

He began to pull his arm back when Mana's hand clasped over his, effectively holding him in place.

"It's getting kinda cold anyway," Mana shrugged. "I don't mind so much."

Kensuke fought the urge to blush as he settled his arm more comfortably over her shoulder. "Oh…well, ok…"

The two of them stared up at the stars, before Mana shivered, shifting her body closer to his.

"Ken, I…" Mana sighed. "Today, I learned that I'm next in line to be transferred to the first branch. They're sending me out in a week."

Kensuke rested his head against hers. "That's great, Mana! I'm sure you'll make an excellent pilot."

Mana nodded, sadly. "Yeah, well…let's make the most of the time we have left…"

Kensuke almost laughed. "Come on, Mana! It's not like I'm gonna be that far behind. Heck, another few weeks, and I'll be heading over myself. We'll see each other again."

Mana just frowned.

She had been raised around the army. And this was an enemy they knew next to nothing about. The first non-human war ever fought in the history of mankind. Mana knew firsthand the life expectancy of any given solider, no matter how hard they trained. She knew that the other pilots were still alive and well. But she also knew that the Angels had gotten progressively harder. The worst was yet to come.

She stifled sob as she wrapped her arms around Kensuke's shoulders, taking in the moment. Kensuke, in his confusion, just returned the embrace. For all his kindness, his good nature, Mana just knew it wasn't meant to last.

A few weeks was more than enough time for a soldier's life to end.

xxxxx

Ritsuko was gasping for breath. Maya's fingers had nearly become embedded in the back of the chair her senpai was sitting in. Professor Soryu was all but collapsed on the floor. And Misato had just about swallowed her tongue.

Ritsuko had done it. She had saved the MAGI.

"Senpai, you did it!" Maya cried, excitedly. "You beat the virus!"

Ritsuko took a moment to catch her breath before smiling. "We're not out of the woods yet, Maya. Run a full diagnostic. I want to know what that thing was, and how it got into NERV."

Maya snapped a salute. "Yes ma'am!"

"And Maya," Ritsuko leered. "We'll talk about proper behavior in near-death situations later."

Maya suppressed a shrill eep, recalling with some feeling of dread the tearful goodbyes that had passed as a whisper into her Senpai's ears scant moments ago.

Ritsuko sighed as she got back to work, going over the MAGI's data feeds over the past twenty-four hours, checking for any anomalies that might alert her to the Angel's presence. It was not unthinkable that the Angel had just been sitting in the computer, waiting to spring its trap.

"That was tense," a tired looking Misato said, slumping into the seat beside her old room mate.

"Indeed."

"I was talking about Maya's little slip-up," the Major winked. "She really must be smitten."

Ritsuko sighed. "Shouldn't you be worried about recovering your pilots? The plugs were automatically ejected at the first sign of danger."

Misato waved her off. "Section Two will take care of that."

Ritsuko gave her an odd look. "They've only got twelve hours of life support, you know?"

Misato shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. "So, getting back to what I was saying…"

"Misato, I don't want to talk about it!" Ritsuko snapped.

The raven haired woman just sulked. "Aw, come on! We haven't had anything this juicy pop up since that fiasco with Kaworu and Rei."

Ritsuko groaned. "Misato, please…this whole situation has really been ragging on my nerves."

"Well, maybe it wouldn't bother you so much if you'd just _talk_ about it."

Ritsuko pinched the bridge of her nose. "Misato, I don't-"

"Could you just tell me how you _feel_ about her?"

"Misato!" Ritsuko hissed, looking around to catch any eavesdroppers. "I don't want anyone finding out!"

"Oh please," Misato sighed. "It's already common knowledge that she's head over heels for her senpai…just like you were for a certain _someone_ I knew…"

Ritsuko stared aghast. "Major Katsuragi! This conversation is entirely inappropriate!"

Misato didn't look away. She didn't say anything either, but she did lay off enough for Ritsuko to catch her breath.

"Look…" Ritsuko said under her breath. "Maya's a sweet girl…but I'm just not interested in her. Not like that! I'm not interested in _women_, Misato! We were roommates for years, you should know that by now!"

Misato eyed her suspiciously. "Is that really how you feel?"

Ritsuko swallowed a lump that had been accumulating in her throat. "Yes…"

Misato was silent for a while. Ritsuko went back to her work.

"And…what about the late commander?"

Ritsuko halted her typing long enough to squeeze both her hands into tight fists.

"Yui Ikari is dead, Misato," Ritsuko breathed. "It doesn't matter _how_ I felt about her."

Misato nodded, setting her empty mug down.

"There's a fine line between admiration and attraction, Misato," Ritsuko breathed. "That's all it was. I just…admired her work. I've spent my life in this field. Simply being in the presence of such an authority is-"

"I know…" Misato interrupted. "And I'm sure that Maya feels exactly the same way."

"You leave her out of this!" Ritsuko growled, irritated. Sometimes, her old friend could be more of a pain than she was worth!

Misato smiled. Ritsuko suddenly becoming defensive of Maya told her all she needed to know.

But she let it pass.

"Hey, if you're allowed to take jabs at Kaji and I, then I should be entitled to do the same to you and Maya."

Ritsuko pinched her brow. Would she be making _no_ progress in her work today?

"This is a slightly different case, Misato."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure I'm just as uncomfortable with my situation as you are with yours."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Right. And if Kaji was a woman?"

Misato looked thoughtful. "Hmm…could be fun…"

Ritsuko squeezed her eyes shut. "You're impossible, Misato…"

xxxxx

The pilots marched rank and file into the dorm room, Asuka plopping down on the couch.

"Kaworu, could cook up something?" she sighed, exasperated. "I'm starved!"

"I find that unlikely," Kaworu noted. "But I would be happy to make something for you."

Shinji followed him into the kitchenette, eying the fridge hungrily. Although he didn't mention it, his stomach was growling ferociously.

"Toji, you want to get some plates out for everyone? Kaworu and I should have dinner ready soon."

Toji grumbled but obliged, opening the cabinets and searching for flatware.

Hikari and Rei joined their erstwhile companion on the couch and stared at the flashing lights ahead of them, not really making any sense of the static German audio.

"Hey, Asuka…?" Hikari muttered. "This is gonna sound weird coming from your former class rep, but do you think you could help me with some of my school work? There's just too much German I haven't memorized yet."

Asuka sighed. "Sure, sure, I'll help you. You were nice enough to do the same for me when I was struggling with Japanese. But can it wait till after dinner? I might end up eating your homework otherwise."

Hikari snickered. "Sure, thanks."

Rei looked back at the work going on in the kitchen. "What are we having Shinji?"

The Second Child was fixated on a frying pan. "Kaworu's reheating that viener-schnitzel from last night for anyone who wants it. I'm cooking up some fried rice."

Asuka sighed. "What an eclectic feast - German and Japanese cuisine. How appropriate."

Hikari shrugged. "Hey, at least they're feeding us."

"Hikari," Toji groaned. "Where're the glasses?"

"Top right shelf," she said without even thinking.

Mayumi, who had gone strait to her room to change, had emerged dumbfounded when she saw the scene that was folding out before her.

"What are you guys doing?"

Everyone looked up to stare at her, resounding a mutual, "Huh?"

Mayumi held her hands out. "The _guys_ are doing all the kitchen work while _you three_ just sit there and relax?"

Asuka, Rei and Hikari exchanged glances and agreed that, yes, that was exactly what was going on.

"What kind of society did you all grow up in!?"

The boys just groaned.

"Hey, I can't help it if we suck at Rock, Paper, Scissors," Shinji lamented.

"I have no problem helping out where I can," Kaworu added.

"Whatcha talking about?" Toji grinned. "Guys that can cook are in high demand! True fact!"

"What are you talking about, Toji?" Hikari jibbed. "Ever since that 'flaming kielbasa' incident, we've never let you near a heated surface!"

"Hey, the instructions said, heat to exactly 450 degrees!"

"Fahrenheit, you moron!" Asuka yelled.

"I for one think it's nice that Shinji volunteers to cook for us," Rei said, plainly.

"Yeah, if the guy could cook anything besides noodles and rice!"

"And what's wrong with noodle and rice?" Hikari pursed her lips. "I happen to _like_ noodle and rice."

"Well, more power to you," Asuka shrugged. "Me, I like a little variety. Throw some spice in every now and then. And for god's sake, cook some _meat_ every now and then."

Kaworu held up a metal spatula. "That's what _I'm_ currently doing, Asuka."

Shinji nodded. "There, you see? Everyone's happy."

Mayumi just sighed, choosing to reiterate her earlier complaint.

"How did I get mixed up with these _lunatics_!?"


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

March 23rd, 2016

Shinji looked around and saw nothing. No sign of life. No stirring of the world around him. A gray emptiness. An expanse so clean and devoid of anything resembling anything, that it blew his mind away.

He seemed to float, almost lifelessly. His body didn't want to move. He didn't know how he'd gotten here, why he was here, or what had transpired beforehand. He just knew that this emptiness, this white…or was it black? This unreality seemed calming, yet disturbing. Life didn't seem to adhere to any sort of plan or scheme.

Where was everybody? He didn't know. He couldn't even pull names out of his head to remember. He should be missing somebody, but who? Where? When?

Why?

xxxxx

"Maybe you should go talk to her?" Hikari suggested.

The pilots were on standby, some hours after their first failed sortie, their first causality.

"No way am I talking to _her_!" Asuka growled. "I swear she'll just find _some_ way to make me feel like it was _my_ fault! And she'll do it without saying a _word_!"

Mayumi bashfully lifted her head. "It's not your fault, Soryu. It's not anyone's fault."

"Who said it was!?" Asuka piped. "I'm just saying Wondergirl has a way of making you feel like you're responsible for world hunger or something!"

Toji just grumbled. "Projecting much, Asuka?"

The redhead locked her glare on the Osakan. "What?"

Toji shrugged. "I'm just saying, if talking to Rei makes you feel guilty, maybe it's just your conscious deep down inside telling you that maybe you should feel guilty."

Asuka gritted her teeth. "Why…you…"

"Asuka…" Kaworu placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I think it'll make you feel better if you did. It would probably let a lot of stress off your shoulders."

The Third Child seemed to pout for a moment, before turning around with a toss of her hair.

"Fine."

And with that, she practically waltzed over to where Rei was sitting.

Toji, for his part, just blinked in wonder at Kaworu.

"Dude…teach me."

xxxxx

Ritsuko could swear she felt her brain expanding and contracting inside her skull. The Professor was basing her plan off of theories that have not only never been tested or proven, but were all very likely to kill all the remaining pilots in the process.

"Explain this to me again, please?" Ritsuko bellyached. "And this time, include the part where I think this is actually a reasonable plan."

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu just sniffed. "It's all rather simple. According to your mother's and Doctor Ikari's research, the sea of Dirac is basically a shadow plain. That image we sea floating above the sea is actually the Angel's shadow. The Angel itself is the shadow we see, stretching roughly six hundred meters in diameter and three nanometers in depth. The Angel, or rather its AT Field, has essentially sucked Unit 01 into a temporal dimension of almost infinite space."

Misato raised her hand. "I believe we covered that, Professor. What I understand Doctor Akagi's question to be is your reasoning behind using a high powered magnet to force the field to collapse."

Professor Soryu placed her hands on her hips. "It's the closest device we have that can replicate these kinds of effects. We don't need to expand the scale – all we're aiming for is the recovery of Unit 01. The Angel is not currently on the offensive, so I believe-"

"I believe that _I'm_ the field commander of this operation Professor, and that I asked for your assessment of the situation, not your plan of action."

Professor Soryu was not ready to be shot down. "Major Katsuragi-"

"Major Katsuragi," Commander Ikari's voice interrupted the briefing. All heads turned up to see his unhappy face looming over the Command Deck. "What would be your plan of action in this situation?"

Misato snapped her shoulders back. "Sir! Notify the UN and requisition the usage of all ninety-seven remaining S2 mines. Deploy the remaining Evangelion Units to project their AT Fields around the Angel, and detonate all N2 mines, containing them within the combined AT Fields."

Kyoko Soryu practically blew up. "And you don't think _that_ will kill off the remaining pilots!? That's my _daughter_ you're putting out there!"

"The Evangelions can take it!" Misato exclaimed. "They've been tested under the duress of field explosives! What they haven't been tested for is for the effects of magnetics! We have not idea what kind of effect that level of magnetism with have on the Eva's instruments, their life support, or their own biology, and that's not even considering what effect it will have on the pilots directly! The human body was not meant to-"

"That's enough!" The Commander roared. "Professor, how soon can your plan be set into motion?"

Asuka's mother held her shoulders upright. "Within an hour, sir!"

"And yours, Major?"

Misato held back an insubordinate comment. "…Within three."

"Very well then. I want you both to work on your own separate tasks. If Professor Soryu's plan fails, then it'll be up to you Major."

Misato sucked in her breath. "With all due respect Sir, the pilots may not even be alive by the time my plan is set into motion!"

Gendo didn't reprimand her. Instead, he turned a glance at Ritsuko.

"Doctor Akagi, what's your opinion of Professor Soryu's plan?"

Ritsuko's tongue caught in her throat. "I…I believe it's sound as far as destroying the AT Field is concerned…but…"

The Commander cleared his throat, indicating his impatience.

"I'm in agreement with Major Katsuragi, in that we don't know the full extent it will effect the Evas or the pilots."

Gendo nodded. "And the Major's plan?"

Ritsuko nodded. "I know for a fact that the pilots will be in no danger. If I were to set a plan into motion Sir, it would be in the reverse order, applying the least threatening option first, and only differing to the magnetic wave emitter in the event of initial failure."

Commander Ikari nodded. "I understand. It shall be so then."

Kyoko stood up. "Commander, I really must protest! My plan can be instated well within the hour and-"

"I am well aware, Professor Soryu," Gendo looked calmly at her. "But you must understand, an Evangelion is down, and one of my pilots is now in enemy hands. I plan to take every precaution that he be recovered safely."

While Kyoko practically seethed at being turned down, Misato and Ritsuko looked at their commander with something akin to awe. Had he actually demonstrated concern for his son?

"What of the newest pilot, Sir?" Misato spoke up. "She may be inexperienced, but she's capable of AT Field manifestation. I would like to send her back out in Unit 06. I'll need every AT Field we can use."

Gendo nodded. "Very well."

xxxxx

Before Asuka could reach the forlorn First Child, she stopped, realizing that she was already in mid conversation with someone. Sighing, and pretending not to listen, she kept just within earshot.

"Don't worry, Ayanami," the girl said. "We'll get him back."

Rei's expression didn't change. "I find that unlikely. The odds of a successful retrieval of Unit 01 are approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one."

The other girl laughed. "That's rather precise for an approximation, but regardless…you shouldn't give up hope. If you believe we'll get him back, then we will. You've got to believe."

Rei shook her head. "I told him the same thing last year."

"Hmm?"

"I told him that he needed to believe that his mother was still alive. I knew what the realization of that reality would do to his psyche, so I sought to delay the inevitable. But in the end, it didn't change the truth. His mother was still dead. And Shinji is still not coming-"

"You can't give up on him, Ayanami!" the other girl exclaimed. "What do you think he'd do if you were in his position?"

Rei's train of thought came to a screeching halt as she considered that situation. "He would…probably foolishly rush into battle in an attempt to save my life."

The girl grinned. "You see? He'd believe you were alive."

Rei shook her head. "It's foolishness. One cannot change the inevitable."

The girl sighed. "Ayanami, I know firsthand that people die in war. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do, and the people you know and care about just go away. But let me tell you – until I knew for a fact that it's a lost cause, I wouldn't hesitate. And I wouldn't give up."

Rei bit her lip, considering the situation. "You think…there's a chance that Shinji's alive, Pilot Kirishima?"

Mana just smiled. "I'd go so far as to say I _know_ he is."

Asuka walked away.

xxxxx

Shinji wasn't sure what he was looking at, until he felt the hot knife of sorrow in his heart as he watched his father walk away.

"Father!" he screamed. He didn't know why, but he got the feeling that he was never coming back. Not the way he knew him. "Father!"

"Shinji," Gendo said. "Don't follow after me. Don't come looking for me. Stand on your own two feet and walk."

He ran, desperately, trying to catch up to him. "Father! No! Don't leave! Come back! I still need you! You can't leave!"

His father disappeared, and suddenly he was back at the cemetery, seeing what he'd seen that time his mother had died. He'd forever etched the scene into his memory, and then refused to think about it, putting it out of his mind.

No, don't think about it. Wait until after the war – then you can cry.

But it was right there. Screaming at him, scratching at his eyes, and he was in tears. His father was there, Rei was there, and then…nobody.

"Please!" he shouted. "Somebody! Anybody! Don't leave me alone!"

He ran left and right, but all he could see was his mother's tomb, and the inescapable reality it carried with it.

"Things are returning to _That which should be_."

He saw Rei standing over his mother's grave, giving him a foreboding look.

"Rei…?" Shinji breathed. "What's going on?"

"Your mother has died," Rei said, without answering. "Your father is falling into oblivion. Soon, very soon, things will return to _That which should be_."

Shinji shook his head. "I don't understand…"

Suddenly, Rei disappeared, and instead he saw Asuka, wearing her yellow dress, resting her head on a table he didn't recognize.

"Hey, Shinji…do you want to kiss me?"

Shinji blinked. "What?"

"A kiss. You've never kissed a girl before, have you?"

Shinji shook his head. "What are you talking about? I've kissed Rei plenty of times."

Asuka's eyes drew wide. "You…what?"

Shinji stared aghast. "Don't you remember? What's wrong with you, Asuka?"

The redhead just glared. "You…no! That's not the way it's supposed to be!"

Shinji drew back. "What?"

"Baka!" Asuka screamed, slamming her fists against him. "Baka! Baka! You stupid idiot! You were supposed to kiss _me_ first, not that stupid doll!"

Shinji covered his face, taking blow after blow from Asuka's powerful arms. "Asuka! Stop it! What are you doing!? Stop!"

The beatings stopped, and Shinji peaked out from between his arms. Where Asuka had been was Kaworu and Rei, standing side by side, facing him.

"Things are not as they should be," Kaworu said. "In this world where Rei has chosen you instead of me…where Asuka has chosen me instead of you…"

Shinji shook his head. "What are you talking about!? What does it matter who Rei decides to be with!?"

Rei closed her eyes. "Because I am not human. Whomsoever I should be with decides the fate of mankind."

Kaworu's taunting eyes remained on Shinji. "The world has slowly been shifting back towards _That which should be_. Your mother is dead, Shinji."

Shinji hung his head. "Why does everyone keep reminding me!?"

"Things are not as they should be," Rei reiterated. "Let us show you _That which should be_…"

xxxxx

Mayumi wasn't sure why Kaworu had asked her to join him on the external observation deck, but she wasn't inclined to turn down an invitation from such an attractive young man. What surprised her most was when she found him waiting for her with Rei.

"Mayumi," he said. "Glad you could join us."

Mayumi blinked. "Um…what's this all about?"

Rei threw Kaworu a suspicious look. "That's what I'd like to know."

Kaworu held up his hands. "Please, allow me to explain. The three of us have something in common. And while I'm not at the liberty to specify what exactly it is that links us, the fact is I believe there is a way for us to do some good in our current situation."

Rei and Mayumi shared a glance.

"And what does that mean?" Rei demanded.

Kaworu gestured to the steel floor of the deck. "Please, sit."

They watched as he sat cross-legged and slowly lowered themselves to sit in a similar position.

"I'm going to ask you both to concentrate for a moment," Kaworu explained. "I believe that if we combine our strengths, we will be able to see some real results."

Rei eyed Kaworu suspiciously. "What results?"

Kaworu stared hard at Rei. "I believe I know how to reach Shinji."

"What?"

Kaworu nodded. "Like I said, the three of us have something in common."

Rei's eyes darted towards Mayumi. "Then…she's…?"

Mayumi blinked. "What? What am I?"

Kaworu sighed. "I _was_ under strict orders not to tell her, but I suppose there's no helping it now…" Turning to Mayumi, he smiled. "You, like Rei and I, are capable of generating an AT Field independently of an Evangelion."

Mayumi gasped. "I…what?"

Kaworu smiled. "It's true. You reached AT Field manifestation faster than any other pilot. It's not just because you were naturally talented, but because you were used to it. It's your natural gift, Mayumi. Rei and I were the same, but you…you're so much more powerful than either of us."

Mayumi was speechless. "I…I don't understand. How can I create an AT Field by myself?"

Kaworu shook his head. "That's not important right now. Right now, I need your help, Mayumi. We need your help. You're the most powerful of the three of us, and I doubt I'll be able to do much without your assistance."

Mayumi shook, her mouth going dry. She was used to be on unfamiliar territory with regards to Project E, but this…

These people were crazy, as far as she could tell! She was surrounded by lunatics, and nothing short of a messenger from God would convince her otherwise.

She bit her lip.

But then, what were they all fighting, if not messengers of God?

"I'll…" she choked. "Tell me what to do."

xxxxx

Shinji was scared stiff! It was Battleship Ocean all over again, except this time, he wasn't in control. He as in the cockpit with Asuka, and she was in control of the Eva. He was squeezed uncomfortably against her, and for some reason he felt terrified.

He didn't understand. He saw the Angel that had killed his mother. He wanted to seize the controls and tear the Angel apart, but he was terrified. And it didn't make sense! He should be in complete control! He was a better pilot than this! He knew he was! He should be able to take the controls and…

And what? He felt lost. All the knowledge, all the training he had accumulated over the years had left him. He had almost no idea how to pilot anymore. He knew the basics, but all the advanced training techniques, all the tactics, weapons diagnostics, everything was just…gone.

Almost as if he'd only had a few days to learn how to pilot.

"So this is the Third Child?"

It was Asuka's voice, but they weren't in the cockpit anymore. She was staring him down on the Over The Rainbow, her yellow dress billowing in the wind.

"He doesn't look like much."

Even in this reality she was cocky and hardheaded, he almost laughed.

Suddenly, he felt the slap of a palm against his cheek, and he thought that Asuka hit him. But when he opened his eyes, he saw Rei staring angrily at him.

"Rei?"

She turned away and entered her Eva.

"Rei, where are you going?"

The yellow Eva came to life, and suddenly it ripped out of its restraints and started punching the glass in front of his face.

He backed away. "Rei!"

Suddenly, he was in his own cockpit, and Unit 00 stood before his Unit 01, shielding him from the 5th Angel's blast.

"Ayanami!" his voice cracked as he said her name. Why had he used her last name? Weren't they…?

"I have nothing else, Ikari…" she said. Her Unit 00 turned around to face him, and he saw her face him, unsmiling, unemotive, not even saddened by the prospect of her death.

"Goodbye."

"Aya…Aya…" he tried to get her first name out, but for some reason could only use her surname. "Ayanami!"

Suddenly, she disappeared, and a blast sent him sprawling backwards. An explosion of light blinded him and he covered his eyes. When he opened them, he saw Misato, stepping out of the driver's seat of her Renault Alpine, smiling at him through a pair of shades. "Sorry I'm late."

He was just too stunned for words.

"She let's you see a side of her that she doesn't show to anybody else," Toji said, smartly. He didn't even see him, he just heard his voice. "And that makes you her family."

Suddenly, he was back at his mother's grave, and his father was there, shaking his head.

And for some reason, he hated him.

Shinji shook his head and ran, trying to clear his head. His mind was flashing through too many memories, and none of them were his. What was this world that was apparently the way things were supposed to be? Why was this sullen, broken reality so necessary? What was so great about it? Rei hated him, Asuka hated him, his family was a wreck, and for some reason, Major Katsuragi was the only person he could trust.

It didn't make any sense.

Suddenly, he felt his feet stick to the ground. He gasped, looking down at his feet. Beneath him was a black substance, in his hand was the pistol he had just used to fire at the Angel. It had vanished before the shots could reach it, and then the shadow had appeared.

"Shinji!"

He saw Unit 00 tumbling after him, crushing the asphalt beneath its feet. But before it could reach the black shadow that was rushing towards it, Unit 02 grabbed the yellow robot by the shoulders, holding it back before it could be sucked into the blackness.

"Shinji!"

He heard Rei's voice calling desperately for him, and could see the pain in Asuka's face a she held her back, desperate to run out to him herself. But Shinji knew, he could see – Asuka wasn't going to let the girl Shinji loved risk her life for him. She was protecting her.

For his sake.

"Thank you…" Shinji breathed. "Thank you Asuka…"

xxxxx

Asuka's eyes flew open. "Shinji!?"

Hikari glanced over at her. "Asuka? What's wrong?"

The redhead shook her head. "I could have sworn I'd just heard Shinji's voice."

Hikari shook her head. They were all waiting for the higher ups to come to a decision, and killing time on the exterior observation deck.

"I didn't hear anything, Asuka," Hikari said. "Maybe you're just feeling more antsy about it than you thought."

Asuka pursed her lip. "Don't give me that! I really heard something!"

Hikari sighed. "I'm sure, Asuka. Did you talk to Rei, by any chance?"

Asuka sat back down. "No, she's busy talking to that new girl."

"Who? Mayumi?"

"No, the other one. The army brat."

"Mana?" Hikari blinked. "That's not a very nice thing to say."

Asuka shrugged. "It's her words, not mine. I haven't gotten a chance to take her on in the simulator yet, but she looks like she knows how to play the game."

Hikari sulked. "As opposed to little old me, who can hardly hold her own."

Asuka grinned. "Don't be so down on yourself, Hikari. You're a pretty good shot with that positron rifle."

"Yeah, but I don't even hold a torch to Shinji and Rei. Their marksmanship is top notch."

"Well, it's good to have a trio for these things," Asuka shrugged. "You, Rei and Shinji are our long range fighters, and Toji, Kaworu and I are the close range fighters."

"And Mayumi?"

"Don't get me started on her," Asuka fumed. "I swear she hacks the system or something! Everything I try, I just can't beat her!"

Hikari giggled. "She was the best fighter back in Tokyo-3 too. Mana, Kensuke and I could hardly last three minutes around her."

Asuka squeezed her eyes shut. "Please – I don't need any reminders that _that_ dolt is the last pilot. It's bad enough that I had to deal with the idiot trio in Japan, but I can't even escape them in my own hometown?"

Hikari giggled. It was nice to be back around her old school friend again. It was also nice to talk about small stuff like this. It helped take her mind of t he current situation. Even if all Asuka did was complain about her taste in boyfriends…

"That plugsuit you're wearing should be illegal, Hikari," Toji came up from behind the girl, flopping his arms over her shoulders.

Speak of the devil…

"Toji!" Hikari squawked, blushing at the contact. "Would you behave?"

"Sorry," he winced, though Asuka noticed he didn't remove his arms from her friend's shoulders. "I'm just nervous! And I get antsy when I'm nervous!"

Asuka just crossed her arms. "So, Monkey face…did you find out what Lord Twinkle-toes is doing over there with Wondergirl and Bookworm?"

Hikari couldn't help but laugh at Asuka's choice of nicknames. Toji, for his part, just picked his nose.

"They're doing some kind of séance from the looks of it," he shrugged. "Looks pretty harmless. Ayanami must be down in the dumps, and they're trying to cheer her up or something."

"Idiot," Asuka growled. "Didn't Shinji tell you what happened between Kaworu and Rei?"

Toji rolled his eyes. "Kaworu told me everything. Trust me Devil girl, he's not some tail chaser like you make him out to be. He sets his sights on one girl, and one girl only. When Rei shot him down, he moved on. Though I can't say much about his current choice."

Asuka sneered. "Pff…like I care if he wants a relationship or not. I'm just in it for the free meals."

Hikari looked genuinely shocked. "That's…that's really all you want from him?"

The Third Child looked from Hikari to Toji then back to Hikari.

"What's the deal!? Why's everyone so interested in us two!?"

Toji shrugged. "Well, for someone who can't stand tail chasers and flip floppers, you yourself were pretty focused on our currently missing Second Child."

Asuka's ears burned. "So what!? What's that got to do with anything!?"

Hikari bit her lip. "Well Asuka…if he wanted to go out with you right now, would you take him up on his offer?"

Asuka felt her sweat being absorbed into her plugsuit. "Well…sure I would…I mean, that'd be great! Terrific!"

"Asuka," Toji sighed. "If Shinji were to survive this incident, what would you do? What if Unit 01 magically escaped from that Angel and touched down right outside this deck? What would you do?"

Asuka felt as though she were backed into a corner. "I…nothing. Well, I guess I'd see him in his hospital bed. But so what? Good for him!"

Hikari shook her head. "I know what Rei would do. She would be there right when his entry plug opened. She wouldn't leave his side till he opened his eyes. And then she'd make it clear to him how worried she was by-"

"Ok, ok, enough, I get it!" Asuka shouted, waving her arms. "But so what!?"

Toji groaned. "She just doesn't get it…"

Hikari sighed. "Asuka…that's what being in love is all about. It's not about going on dates, watching movies, or even just kissing. It's about that person being worth something to you. It's about being ecstatic whenever they're around. It's about there being a giant hole in your heart when they're in a situation like Shinji is in."

Toji gritted his teeth. "Shin-man might not be coming back. And as much as that fact pisses me off, it doesn't hurt me nearly as much as it hurts Ayanami."

Hikari nodded. "Kaworu understands this. So he's doing what he can for her. That's all."

Asuka groaned. "I don't need to be lectured, guys."

Hikari and Toji looked at each other, as if to say '_well, we tried._

"But you're right, I guess," Asuka shrugged. "Maybe I shouldn't get on Kaworu's case about all this. And maybe I should start taking him more seriously."

Toji and Hikari smiled.

"But just to be clear," Asuka held up a finger. "I'll be damned if he thinks he getting into my pants anytime soon!"

Hikari groaned. "Is it possible for you to be any more vulgar?"

Toji cringed. "Man, can you _not_ talk about that while we're…" he paused and amended his statement. "…Ever?"

xxxxx

"Do you see now?" Rei's voice echoed. "_That which should be_ is slowly coming to being. With the natural progression of fate, things will be as they should be by the final Angel."

Shinji seemed to float in that same blank nothingness as before. He couldn't detect where Rei's voice was coming from, but he still found it comforting.

"Then…there's nothing I can do?"

The voice seemed to pause.

"Why would you wish to? The abnormality of your current world should be cause for alarm. That it should return to _That which should be_ should be considered a good thing."

"It should?" Shinji thought out loud. Somehow, that didn't seem to make sense. Why would a world in which his family was torn apart, and he was shunned by his fellow pilots be considered a good thing?

Come to that, why would Rei promote anything dictated by fate? The last time fate intervened with her life, it was caused by…

"Kaworu…" Shinji said, the dots coming together in his head. "This is what he was trying to bring about!"

"Correct," Rei's voice said. "All who are touched by the Angels would naturally try to return everything to _That which should be_."

Shinji felt something tighten in his throat. "But…but he gave up. He chose a different path. Didn't he? And Rei…you're part Angel, but you'd never want this."

"Untrue," the voice said. "I want nothing more than to bring the world to _That_-"

"Shinji!"

Shinji suddenly felt his mind go foggy, as if whatever perception he had on this plane of existence had somehow distorted. "What's wrong? Rei? Where are you? What's going on?"

"_That which should be_ is inevitable," the voice said. "It will ultimately come to be."

"Shinji!"

Shinji couldn't form a coherent thought. Both voices sounded like Rei. But while one was monotone and unemotional, the second sounded greatly concerned and far more…real, for some reason…

"Rei?"

"Nothing will prevent _That which should_-"

"Shinji!" the real sounding voice cried. "Don't listen!"

"Rei?" Shinji breathed. He reached out into what seemed like nothingness, and he could have sworn he'd seen Rei reaching back for him.

"Rei!"

And suddenly, the world was silent. Empty. But not quite so distorted and confusing. What was once an indiscernible grayscale was now a very definite black.

Oddly, this did little to comfort Shinji.

"Hello?" he pitched, weakly, and his voice seemed to die. Though he noticed with some comfort that he seemed to be standing on…something.

"Hello Shinji," another voice came. This one was clearly not Rei's.

"Kaworu?"

He turned and saw him, standing as he was, in his plug suit Shinji noticed, and not in his school uniform like the previous iteration of Kaworu he had seen had been.

Of course, Shinji thought. The rest of the pilots were still combat ready, so they'd all be in their plug suits.

"I'm sorry I couldn't reach you earlier," Kaworu said, calmly. "I'll explain the circumstance surrounding our presence here once we've gotten you out of here."

"Here?"

"The Angel, Shinji," Kaworu said, gravely. "You're trapped inside the twelfth angel."

Suddenly, it all came rushing back to him. The battle, the Eva, the Angel, Rei reaching out for him, Asuka holding her back, everything! He suddenly knew where he was.

"What…what _were_ those…_things_ I was talking to? They…they looked and sounded like you and Rei!"

"Just connect the dots, Shinji," Kaworu smiled. "If my body contains DNA from Adam, and Rei's body contains DNA from Lillith…"

"Then…" Shinji felt his blood go cold. "I was…talking to Adam and Lillith?"

"Sort of," Kaworu admitted. "More precisely, their _aspects_. But essentially, yes. But Shinji, listen to me – that's not what's important right now. What's important is that you understand what's going to happen in the near future."

Shinji just stared at him. "What?"

"This Angel marks the first of five that will push you and the other pilots to their absolute limits," Kaworu warned, gravely. "As the attacks continue, each consecutive angel will be stronger and stronger than the one that came before it. If you do not rise to meet this challenge, Shinji, I tell you here and now…your fellows pilots _will_ die."

Shinji's heart caught in his throat. "…No…that…I can't let that…how? How do I stop it!?"

Kaworu shook his head. "There's no time now. Rei and I are working to release this Angel's holds on you. When the time is right, you'll know what to do."

"Wait! Kaworu!" Shinji shouted. But the other boy's image was disappearing into the blackness of this endless blackness.

And all at once, Shinji was quite alone.

xxxxx

Misato bit her lip. This strategy was only proven _in theory_. She wasn't actually sure how the Eva's would hold up to nearly a hundred explosions each about twice the power of modern hydrogen bombs. Still, as unsure as she was about this strategy, she was even less sure about Professor Soryu's.

It was the worst kind of competition. Whoever was right, they would both lose in the end. The lives of every pilot they had were assuredly _not_ worth a good laugh in the Professor's face.

"I swear, if my baby girl comes out of that cockpit with _one_ hair out of place…"

Then again…

"Professor, would you please calm down?" Misato groaned. "The Commander has already made his decision. You may be concerned for your daughter, but that is _his_ son trapped inside the Angel."

"Such a result is likely to happen in a combat situation," Soryu reasoned. "The pilots face that risk every time they go into battle. But taking unnecessary risks when such simpler alternatives lay a mere hairs breath away…"

Misato tuned her ranting out and focused on the upcoming barrage of N2 mines. Whoever was right, they would bother be sorry. The long and the short of it broke down to them all being jolly well fucked.

xxxxx

The Angel began spasming a second or two later, as all the white drained from the once zebra-like patterns of the Angel. Suddenly, the spherical body began to expand and contract, warping and convulsing, almost as though something contained inside were attempting to get out.

Needless to say, everyone at NERV was speechless as the black shadow spanning the town suddenly erupted into blood, as a hand burst forth from the now black orb. Blood began spewing as the hand clawed its way out, until a head became visible.

It let out a roar.

"No way…" Misato breathed.

"It's impossible…" Ritsuko agreed.

Two hands clawed the ridges of the orb and pried it open, allowing most of a body through the now dripping red and black hole in the Angel's body.

"Oh my God…" Hikari stuttered.

"Is that…blood?" Mana gaped.

The now freed Eva Unit 01 yanked itself free of the Angel's belly, dropping down to the shattered remains of its shadowy blanket, drenched in the Angel's innards.

"Damn…" Toji commented.

"Shinji…" Asuka stared.

Unit 01 landed on its feet, before rearing its head back and roaring, standing over its fallen adversary.

Still seated at the external observation deck, Rei, Kaworu and Mayumi remained motionless. Kaworu, however, eventually opened his eyes, looking out at the carnage below.

"It is done."

xxxxx

Shinji awoke, staring into Rei's beautiful red eyes. At that moment, he couldn't understand how anyone could call those red orbs creepy or scary, because at that moment, they seemed the most welcoming sight he'd ever seen.

"Shinji…" Rei sobbed, clutching him tightly, still in his entry plug, her head resting on his chest.

"Rei…" he breathed, feeling weak, numb and completely worn. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thought this scene resembled something he'd seen while inside the Angel, although their roles had been reversed…

No, forget that now. His arms wrapped around Rei's body, squeezing as tightly as he could, holding her for dear life. This was all that mattered to him right now. Not the memories he'd seen. Not the foreboding threat of the Angel's to come. Not the how's and why's of their presence within the angel or how they even got him out. Right now, he was holding Rei in his arms. And this time, she was real.

"I'm here…"

Overlooking them both, however, Kaworu found himself unable to smile. This test was just the beginning. After this, things would be getting more and more challenging for his fellow pilots. He was the Angel of Free Will, it was his will to choose whether or not to support _That which should be_, as the Angel's called it. But one thing was for sure: the Angels would continue to do so.

The battle for their lives was just beginning.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

April 13th, 2016

The occupants of the simulator sat in silence, watching the two Eva-clad warriors sparring.

"YAAAAAH!"

Metal met metal.

"HAAAAAH!"

Piloting Unit 01 and 04, Shinji and Kaworu flickered and ricocheted off each other like sparks, flying metal beings, dancing on flat, non-descript gray plain.

"_TSU-TSEI_!"

One katana tensed…

"_TSYAAAA_!"

…And flew at the other, which knocked it away as quick as it came.

"HYAAAH"

The other flinched, and all at once, three attacks echoed instantaneously in the blink of an eye. Warriors of silver and violet, Shinji and Kaworu flared in and out of existence, their minds lost in the fray of combat.

When the beasts were finally still, they had backed off enough to catch their breath, hands still at the ready.

Their swords flew…

And all at once, they had passed each other, swords drawn.

The purple katana broke into pieces and Unit 01 fell to one knee.

"You're not putting enough heart into it, Shinji," Kaworu panted. "You have to _want_ it! Disenable yourself the ability to live without it! It has to _define_ you!"

Shinji brought his Eva to its feet, as he stared ashamed at the audience that had paused its training to simply watch the two of them fight. He could hear murmurs of awe coming from the newer recruits, pride from Rei, and even envy from Asuka.

Shinji just sighed. "How, Kaworu? I'm giving this my all. You just keep beating me."

"Wrong!" Kaworu said, sending Shinji bolting upright. "Our Eva's have _identical_ capabilities! If you fail, the failure is _your_ drive to succeed!"

Shinji hung his head. "I'm sorry…I just can't…"

"But you have improved," Kaworu acknowledged, nodding his head approvingly. "You've greatly improved. Right now, I recon you could take on any one of the pilots, save Mayumi and me. And I have no doubt, Shinji, that when it comes down to it, and the safety of your comrades depends on _your_ abilities, that you will succeed."

Shinji felt himself smiling. "Thank you, Kaworu."

"Remember," Kaworu said, ordering Unit 04 (or more precisely, it's digital representation) to sheath its progressive katana, "The sword is not the weapon – _you_ are. The sword is merely a tool. You are its only limit. The katana is considered by weapon smiths worldwide to be the most perfect cutting instrument known to man. The Samurai believed it to bean extension of their _soul_. If you put enough heart into it…it will cut through _anything_."

Shinji frowned, staring down at the broken hilt in his Eva's hands. "Computer – repair progressive katana."

A digital wire frame extended out from the broken end, and the katana was whole once more. Sheathing the sword, Shinji turned and bowed to Unit 04.

"If we're done with training, Kaworu…there's something I need to ask you."

Kaworu's intelligent smirk displayed on Shinji's communication panel. "Based on the fact that you've enabled a secure connection, I imagine it's important."

Shinji frowned, eying his companions, who had gone back to training.

"How did you do it? How did you get me out of the Angel?"

"I didn't do anything, Shinji," Kaworu shrugged. "You did."

"But you helped."

"I showed you the door. You're the one who walked through it."

"How?"

"I have an understanding of AT fields," Kaworu explained. "With Rei and Mayumi's help, we were able to…communicate with you. We were able to dispel whatever illusion the Angel had chosen to show you."

"And what about the warning of the future Angels?" Shinji frowned. "How did you find out about them?"

"When I was inside the twelfth Angel, I saw what the future angels would look like."

"And you haven't told my father?"

"He couldn't do anything if I did," Kaworu lamented. "It would look too suspicious."

"So he knows? About you, Rei and Mayumi?"

"I doubt he's _fully_ aware of Mayumi's power, but he definitely knows something's up."

Shinji closed his eyes, taking this in.

"Kaworu, you said my friends would be in danger."

"And they will be," Kaworu assured him. "The next four Angels will be more powerful than anything you've seen. They will be swift, they will be deadly, and they will not go down easily. That's all I saw."

Shinji did the math. "That's sixteen Angels. What about the seventeenth?"

Kaworu sighed. "I didn't see anything about the seventeenth. But I can only infer that it will follow along the same pattern."

Shinji stared hard at the progressive katana in his left hand. He had failed before. He could not afford to fail gain.

"I have to get stronger…"

Kaworu watched as Shinji tapped into Maya's latest simulator design – mock-ups of all the previous Angels fought. They didn't move or fight back, but as soon as their cores were struck, they fell down and disappeared. Misato had of course liked it, arguing that it made more sense than training against other Evas.

It wasn't like their opponents would ever be Evangelion units…

xxxxx

When Kensuke showed up for testing that day, he wasn't prepared for a party.

"Surprise!"

Aoi, Kaede and Satsuki all had party hats and balloons. Even Commander Tokita had partaken in the festivities. Commander Shiro Tokita had headed the Third Branch since Commander Ikari had left. Having previously worked in the JSSDF, and long having fancied an idea for an unmanned replacement for the Evangelion units, he was now in charge of supervising the training of its pilots.

He sighed, lamenting.

Kensuke just stared, aghast. "Uh…what's this all about, you guys?"

The bridge bunnies unashamedly abandoned their posts to cue up for some cake. "We're celebrating your last day at the Third Branch! After today, you're moving to the front line!"

Kensuke just scratched his head. "Yeah, so?"

"Hey, you three!" The Commander scowled. "You're not allowed to leave your posts!"

"Oh, don't worry about it," Satsuki sighed. "It's not like any angels are coming anyway."

Commander Tokita pouted. "Yeah, but it's the principle of the matter…"

Aoi and Kaede just pretended to ignore their commander. "So, we're all celebrating your last day here so that once they whisk you off to the First Branch, with all the Evas and fighting, you won't forget us!"

Kensuke felt his cheeks redden. "Oh, come on…it's not like I'm just going to forget you guys…"

Kaede offered him a slice of cake. "Oh, that's so nice of you, Kensuke!"

"Would you at least try not to get icing on the console…?" The Commander mumbled, unable to command the same conviction that his predecessors had.

Aoi smiled. "Aw, Kensuke's just happy to finally get to see Mana again…"

Kensuke's eyes widened. "Huh? Wha…why do you say that?"

She winked at him. "It's not like we've got much else to do, so keeping up with the pilot's lives is pretty much all we do for fun around here. So of course we know about you and Mana."

Kensuke held his hands up. "It…it's not what you think…"

"So, tell me," Satsuki almost seemed to magically appear behind the boy, sending him for a start. "Have you kissed her yet?"

Kensuke blushed, furiously. "Well, uh…no…but…"

"Hey, girls…" a much deeper voice called out from the hallway. "Why not give the kid a break, huh? He's got a long day ahead of him."

All three head perked up at once. "Kaji!"

Commander Tokita just hung his head. "Finally – someone who can keep my workers in line…"

The unshaven NERV gopher sauntered over to a console that would normally be used to display readouts about pilot heart rate and oxygen intake, but for the time being was serving the purpose of holding the chocolate cake Kaede had brought in for Kensuke's farewell party. "Ooh, this looks good. You girls made this yourselves?"

Aoi and Satsuki gave the brunette a gentle nudge, causing her to step forward.

"Not all of us – just Kaede."

The bridge bunny stared up, red faced at the pontytailed man. "Umm…it's not that good…but, feel free to have some…"

Kaji winked at her. "Cake? From you? How could I say no…?" He served himself a piece before giving Kensuke a warm pat on the back. "So, you ready to ditch this place and get to the real action?"

Kensuke shuffled his feet nervously. "Not really…though it would be nice to see all my friends again, I'm just nervous about fighting the Angels…"

Kaji frowned. "You've been keeping in touch with them, haven't you?"

Kensuke nodded. "Mostly. Toji and I chat online all the time."

"Everyone still accounted for?"

"Yeah…"

"So there you have it! They're all just fine! See? Nothing to be worried about."

The three NERV techs clustered around the two boys.

"Oh, our Kensuke's not worried about a few overgrown clowns!" Aoi crowed.

"Yeah," Satsuki smiled. "We've been helping him train around the clock! He'll show those other pilots how to kick it old school."

Kaede just fidgeted. "D-Do your best, Kensuke!"

Kaji patted Kensuke again, causing him to catch his breath. "Hahah! See? All these girls are rooting for you! Nothing to be afraid of now!"

The Commander groaned, helplessly. "I can't control them…"

Kensuke looked up at each of the tech's faces. They had all been nothing but supportive over the half year he'd trained under them. And the whole world was on the line of him and the other pilots. Besides, he'd get to pilot a kick ass Evangelion!

"Hey, Mister Kaji? When we head out, will we get to fly in one of those Eva carrier models? The kind with seventy meter wingspan and stealth capability?"

Kaji grinned. "You better believe it!"

Kensuke's nervous face turned up into a smile. "Alright then! When do we leave?"

xxxxx

Misato and Ritsuko, having finally reached their break time, sat down for cups of coffee after yet another long fruitless attempt to try and decipher exactly what the hell had gone on during the last Angel attack.

"What I don't get is why the Commander hasn't suspended Unit 01 from ready status," Misato groaned, dark circles under her eyes. "I personally wouldn't feel safe putting any child, much less my own, in a bio-mech that could just…come alive at any moment."

Ritsuko shook her head, puffing her cigarette as usual. "_That_ I can understand – notice how Shinji's still alive?"

Misato shook her head. "Ritsuko, you're a scientist! Just because something happens a certain way _once_ should be no indication of how it'll happen again. You should know that!"

Ritsuko just smiled. "I may be a scientist. But I'm also a woman. That Eva was acting in self-preservation, and more importantly, in the best interests of it's pilot. That doesn't take much to see, Misato."

Misato rested her head in her hands. "That's still not explaining _how_ it happened, or _why_ the Commander feels so trusting of that machine."

Ritsuko looked away. "I'd be a bit more appreciative, Misato. That machine is part of the reason we're all still alive."

Misato groaned, looking more tired than ever. "Sometimes I wonder who's serving who, us or the Evas. You think Command would fire me for taking the rest of the day off?"

Ritsuko checked her cell phone. "Consider the 8th Child is supposed to be arriving today, yeah, they probably would."

Misato groaned again. "Oh man…"

xxxxx

"That's it. We're officially doomed."

The pilots were gathered together in the suite, waiting for news of Kensuke's arrival. Mana and Mayumi were busy in the kitchen, fixing some sort of concoction one of them had seen on the cooking channel. Shinji and Rei were on one end of the couch, Toji and Hikari on the other, both very much entangled in each others arms. Asuka was sitting in the middle where the two perpendicular ends met, and Kaworu was sitting on the floor in front of her legs. No one was really paying attention to the TV screen.

"Why is that?" Kaworu said, tilting his head up to look at the redhead curiously.

Asuka had her yellow dress on, and there was very little to see from Kaworu's vantage point, and Asuka had been slowly learning that Kaworu rarely if ever took any of her baited lures, and when he did, it was never in the manner that she expected. In a way, letting him sit in this position was just another test of his resilience, if not his trustworthiness.

"Because we're about to turn the fate of the world over to the three stooges," Asuka chuckled, prodding Kaworu's side with her toe. "That's why!"

Kaworu actually flinched at the contact, probably because it tickled.

"Heh-heh…they're only going to make up a third of our actual fighting force. The rest of us are quite capable, Asuka. Or are you suggesting you can't handle a few male coworkers?"

Asuka pursed her lip, glaring down at him. "I'd be careful what you say, Kaworu…" she mused, reaching down to grab him by the shoulders. "Because you're in a very vulnerable position right now…"

Holding his arms in place, she began to prod his ribs with her feet. Kaworu, for his part, began to squirm.

"A-ha-ha-ha…Asuka…! A-ha-ha…"

"Quiet down, you two," Hikari laughed. "I can't hear the movie."

"You're not paying attention to the movie anyway," Asuka leered, still holding Kaworu's shoulders. "Seriously, get a room, you two."

"You're one to talk, Red," Toji shot back. "You're bein' awfully clingy to 'Lord Twinkle-toes' over there."

Asuka flushed. "D-Don't misunderstand! I'm just establishing my superior-"

"Excuse me," Shinji raised an eyebrow. "Lord Twinkle-toes?"

Hikari began to giggle.

"Did he seriously just call him that?" Shinji laughed.

"I believe he did indeed," Rei nodded, matter-of-factly.

"I don't really mind," Kaworu shrugged.

"Quiet you!" Asuka jabbed him again in the ribs, causing him to flinch again.

"Ah!" he yelped, boyishly.

"You know, I think Asuka's enjoying that a little too much," Mana said, bringing a plate of what looked to be a cake out from the kitchen.

"I think Kaworu is too," Mayumi giggled.

Asuka blushed bright red. "Sh-Shut up!"

"Hmmm…something smells good…" Toji sniffed the air. "Something made with chocolate…and cherries? Could that be what I think it is?"

"You guessed it," Mayumi smiled. "_Schwarzwaelder Kirschtorte_."

There was a pause.

"That…wasn't my first guess." Toji admitted, dryly.

"Baka," Asuka sniffed. "It's Black Forest Cake."

"Aww…" Mayumi whimpered. "I like the other name. It had pizzazz."

"Doesn't make it any less good by my standards," Toji grinned. "Hikari, if you could…disengage yourself for a moment…"

Hikari's arms were still wrapped possessively around Toji's abdomen. "Only if you bring me a piece."

"Rei?" Shinji looked at Rei as she left the (in his mind) rather agreeable position she had been sitting in (mostly for the degree of bodily contact it involved). "You're leaving?"

"There is cake," Rei said as though that explained everything.

"Asuka!" Kaworu struggled to get to his feet, gasping at her prodding. "I simply want to get some cake!"

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Asuka grinned, holding him down, and continuing to tickle him with her toes.

"You're not going to eat your cherry?" Toji eyes Hikari's plate conspicuously.

"All yours," Hikari winked.

Asuka burst into laughter.

Hikari blushed. "What?"

"Nothing, never mind," Asuka waved her off.

"What, I don't get it," Shinji asked, accepting a plate from Rei. "What's so funny?"

Mana just rolled her eyes. "Asuka's just being perverted."

"What, she's the one who said it!" Asuka defended.

"I happen to like cherries!" Toji grunted.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Asuka snickered.

Kaworu, who had eventually procured a piece of cake for himself and Asuka, held his plate up to her. "Asuka, you can have my cherry if you wish."

Asuka blushed heavily. Toji and Hikari started giggling. So did Mana. Mayumi was just ignoring the lot of them, enjoying her cake as peacefully as possible, which wasn't much. Shinji and Rei still just looked confused.

"No, I don't want your cherry!" Asuka shouted, kicking Kaworu between the shoulder blades.

Kaworu winced, dropping the plate, which he had been holding up to her from his seat at the foot of the couch, his cake landing haphazardly on his head, smudging chocolate icing all over his gray hair.

"It was just a question, Asuka," Kaworu ran a hand through his hair, trying to clean it out as best as he could. "No need to lash out."

"I'll lash out whenever I want to, damn it!" Asuka growled.

Kaworu sighed. "I'll be right back, just going to clean this off."

Kaworu wandered off, and Asuka simply sat in her spot on the couch, arms crossed. She glanced back and forth at the concerned glances coming from each of the other pilots.

"What?" Asuka asked out loud.

"That wasn't very nice, Asuka," Hikari frowned at her friend.

"He was openly provoking me!" Asuka defended. "He should have known making a joke like that was going to make me angry!"

"You can't ask him to be a mind reader, Asuka," Hikari shrugged.

"Yeah, Red," Toji added. "You can't expect a guy to-"

"Toji, let me handle this," Hikari said, twisting his ear between her fingers. "What I'm trying to say is, he probably just misinterpreted your signals and came to the conclusion that what he did was the appropriate course of action. Considering how polite he's been since now, I think he deserves a _little_ slack."

Asuka rolled her head back. "_Ach gott, warum mich_?"

Rei offered her plate to Shinji. "Shinji, would you like my cherry?"

"I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!" Asuka yelped, getting to her feet and quickly dashed off to the dorm rooms.

The light was on the boy's bathroom, and Asuka almost turned back. But then the image of Rei hand feeding a cherry to Shinji popped into her head, and she suddenly decided that there were worse things she could be doing than apologizing to probably one of the only decent guys on her team.

"Kaworu…" she knocked on the bathroom door.

"It's open," she heard his voice from inside.

Hesitantly, she opened to the door to find Kaworu topless with his head bent over the sink, hair mostly wet.

Asuka suppressed the urge to gulp. The guy was not out of shape.

"Umm…I'm…sorry I kicked you…" she said, looking away.

"No hard feelings," Kaworu smiled, wetting his hands in the running tap before wiping his hair once again.

"You might want to use shampoo for that," Asuka pointed out. "Water's not going to get it all out."

Kaworu blinked, eying his reflection in the mirror. "You obviously know more about hair care than I do."

Asuka sighed, grabbing a bottle from the counter. "Here, let me do it…"

Kaworu sat still as Asuka squirted a teaspoon of shampoo into her hands and rubbed it into his fine, gray locks. Digging her fingers into his scalp, she sudsed his hair till it was completely white from the thick foam. A long while passed and Kaworu noticed that while his hair was probably well past clean, Asuka didn't appear to be stopping.

He didn't say anything about it.

"So, just so we're clear, you _do_ know why I was upset, right?"

Kaworu opened his eyes. "Because I said something inappropriate?"

"Do you know what, specifically, was inappropriate?"

Kaworu hesitated. "Some sort of sexual innuendo involving cherries?"

Asuka nearly burst out laughing. "You honestly don't know?"

"I can hazard a guess."

Asuka's fingers stopped scrubbing, mostly due to the fact that she was laughing so hard, her weight began to lean against Kaworu's bare back. Kaworu just stood there confused, as Asuka leaned her head against him. She smiled at how nice he smelled. It was probably just the shampoo, but…

"Asuka," Kaworu tested the waters. "You may think that I don't always notice you, but I do. Whenever you smile at me, whenever you speak to me, whenever you touch me…"

"That sounds really perverted, you know…" Asuka said, though she didn't sound angry.

"Not everything is intended to be as perverted as you think it might be," Kaworu sighed. "For instance, earlier, my only intention was to offer you a piece of fruit, because I thought that it was a kind gesture, and that you would enjoy it."

"I figured…" Asuka sighed, still leaning her head against his back, almost like she was hiding behind him. "So…if I offered you _my_ cherry…would you take it?"

Kaworu turned his head to look back at her. "Are we speaking metaphorically here?"

"What do you think?" Asuka said, not looking up. As it was, her hair was obscuring her face, and Kaworu couldn't see her eyes. She was unreadable.

"If the offer were sincere…and I can tell when they're not…" Kaworu said, turning his eyes forward, staring down at the dull white counter. "Then of course I would."

There was a still silence that permeated the bathroom. Somehow, Asuka knew that whatever power she might have thought she had over Kaworu was actually very minimal. He could read her like a book sometimes. He never acted out of line, not with ill intent at any rate. He had gone over at length his thinking during that scandal with Rei. Though his actions had resulted in Rei and Shinji's mutual anguish, none of that had been his desire. He had simply wanted to coexist, for them to be happy with the way things should be. Which is why, after Rei had made her desire clear to him, he had let go entirely, and allowed them to go along with what they wanted, and moved onto to another girl.

Her.

And he could tell that her question had simply been her testing the waters, that she was merely concerned with the direction their relationship (if that's what it could even be called) was going. In truth, she was nowhere near ready to give herself to him yet. And he knew it. And she could tell that he knew it. Nothing had to be said. Not a word.

Kaworu may not have been a mind reader, but he was as close to one as it came. And that suited Asuka just fine.

"Well, good thing I'm not offering then," she smiled, going back to washing his hair, more vigorously this time. "I might have to have been worried."

"So do you still not want my cherry then?" Kaworu asked, smiling at her through the mirror. "The one from the cake, I mean."

"Of course," Asuka smiled, leaning up to whisper in his ear. "I love cherries."

"I might just have to ask Mayumi for the recipe for that cake then," Kaworu smiled, completely unfazed.

Asuka let out an exasperated sigh. "You know, you amaze me sometimes! How does a guy not at least flinch when a girl does that?"

Kaworu smiled, wholeheartedly. "I already told you, I _do_ notice you, Asuka."

"Then how come you never seem to react to me?"

"I most certainly am reacting to you, Asuka," Kaworu smiled. "Just not in a way you can see."

Asuka withdrew, eyes wide. "What the…ew, gross! I did _not_ need to know that, you moron!"

Kaworu blinked, before realization dawned on him. "Umm…I wasn't implying an _anatomical_ reaction, Asuka…"

"Don't want to hear it!" Asuka huffed, turning on her heels and heading towards the door. "You can just wash your own hair from now on."

Kaworu watched, helplessly, as Asuka stormed out of the bathroom, leaving his hair still sudsed with shampoo.

"Sometimes, you just simply confuse me, Asuka," he let out a great sigh. "I suppose that's why you interest me so. You're…different…so different from everybody else. And that's worthy of my empathy…"

Kaworu leaned forward and turned on the tap, rinsing his hair out beneath the metal faucet. Ensuring his hair was completely rinsed, he grabbed a towel from the wall, drying his hair out.

"In other words…"

xxxxx

April 14th, 2016

"FIRE!"

It had been a disaster. It had suppose to just be an activation test. Kensuke had been so excited, getting to sit inside an Eva for the first time in his life. Then the desert camo tinged Unit 08 had ripped it's way out of its restraints. Alarms had gone off all throughout the First Branch of NERV as blue patterns emerged all throughout Unit 08's readings. In an act of desperation, they had sent it into the catapult and lifted it to the surface.

Now, acting of its own will, it was trying to get back in.

"What are you waiting for, Shinji!?" Misato's voice blared over the intercom. "Open fire!"

All Unit's had been launched to intercept the berserker Evangelion. Hikari, Rei and Shinji had been placed at sniper positions all throughout Munich. Asuka, Kaworu, Toji, Mana and Mayumi had all taken the Eva head on.

It had been bloody.

"Shinji! I'm giving you a direct order! FIRE!"

Shinji stared at the result of the battlefield before him. Unit 02 lay headless on the ground. Unit 08 had most of its upper body twisted, it's spine snapped at the waist, lying lifeless on its side. Unit 03 was missing most of its torso. Unit 05 was lying legless on its front. Unit 09 was unaccounted for – probably down. He couldn't tell what had happened to Unit 00 and 06, his sniping partners – he'd lost radio contact with them after Unit 07's first attack.

"Shinji, do you read me!?" Misato screamed. "Shoot it!"

Shinji gulped hard. He couldn't believe what he was looking at. Brother fighting brother, comrade slaying comrade. He knew it wasn't Kensuke's intent, but still…

Asuka…Toji…Hikari…Kaworu…Mana…Mayumi…

xxxxx

April 13th, 2016

Toji and Kensuke clasped hands as they encountered each other on the airstrip. It turned into a manly embrace, the two of them laughing up a storm. Behind them, the Eva was slowly being loaded off the carrier, it's tan and brown hull glimmering in the evening sun.

After Toji let him go, Shinji gave him a similar handshake, but didn't pull in for a hug. After they exchanged a brief few words of pleasantries, they were interrupted by a dark red head leaping into Kensuke's arms, nearly knocking him to the ground. Kensuke just laughed and smiled as Mana wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Once mana released him, Hikari threw her arms around him despite himself, tussling with his hair. Asuka and the others didn't make contact, but were smiling despite themselves. Even Rei, her hand clasped around Shinji's now free one was in good spirits.

Everyone was happy to see the final member of their team.

xxxxx

April 14th, 2016

"It's…" Shinji stammered. "That's…he's one of us, Major Katsuragi! I…you can't ask me to kill him!"

"I'm not asking you, Shinji, I'm ordering you," Misato said coldly. "It's either him or us. Ask yourself what he would want."

Shinji slammed his fist against his control yoke. "Why is this even happening!? What in the world is going on!? Why is Unit 08 acting on it's own!?"

There was a pause, as precious seconds were lost with Unit 08 clawing and tearing at the trapdoor that sealed off NERV and all those lay below from the ravenous beast.

"Shinji," a voice said over the comm link. Not Misato's – it was a man's voice. It had been so long since Shinji could even remember hearing his father's voice before.

"F-father?" he gasped. "What's going on here?"

"I'm sorry, Shinji," Gendo Ikari said over the transmitter. "Unit 08 has been classified as an Angel. You must destroy it, or humanity will die. I understand the circumstances – I don't want to sacrifice another pilot any more than you do. But for the good of mankind, for the sake of our survival, Shinji, you must do it."

Shinji just gaped in disbelief. "No…no way…that can't be! How could one of our own Eva's be an Angel!? There's got to be some mistake! That's Kensuke! That's Unit 08! That's our comrade! It can't be an Angel!"

No one had been terribly willing to fight one of their own. Mana had all but broken down into hysterics. Asuka and Kaworu managed to put up a good fight, but the Eva's arms had somehow gained the ability to stretch and extend, and had taken them both off guard.

He still didn't know what had happened with Rei and Hikari. He could understand Hikari being unable to fire, but Rei…she, of all the pilots, had the ability to put emotion aside and do the task the job required. Shinji missed that – need that – right about now.

"You know what's at stake, Shinji," his father's voice said, irritably calmly. "Either take the shot, or let him kill us all. It's your choice."

Shinji grimaced. His choice. That meant Rei and Hikari must have been neutralized as well. It was up to him. In one hand, he held his friend's life, in the other, he held the fate of the world. Who would it be? Was there no middle ground?

Would he be made into a murderer?

xxxxx

April 13th, 2016

"38 percent," Toji commented as Kensuke suited up in his yellow plug suit. "Not a bad sync rate. Think you can hit that in your Eva?"

Kensuke was practically giddy with excitement. "I just can't wait to sit down in a real Eva after all this time! This is going to be _so_ awesome!"

Major Katsuragi, who had been escorting the "three stooges" to the Eva cages, waved her hand dismissively. "Now remember, Kensuke, we're just going to try to start the Eva up. You're not going to move it. You're just going to get a feel for how it's like on the inside."

Kensuke shook his head. "That doesn't matter! I'll be sitting in a _real_ Eva! I can't wait! How long till the activation test again."

Misato sighed, staring at her watch. "Another 45 minutes, Kensuke."

"Aw man!" Kensuke whined. "Can I just sit in it!?"

Shinji sighed as Toji tried to calm down Kensuke's theatrics, claiming them to be unmanly and the like. Shinji knew that was just Kensuke's way of dealing with the nervousness. Toji's way had been with cold feet, Hikari's way had been to consistently apologize. Despite that, Mana, Mayumi, and especially Asuka had taken their first real piloting experiences in stride, almost like they were born for it. And as for Kaworu and Rei…

"Shinji, what's it like?" Kensuke asked, desperately. "You've been a pilot longer than Toji – no offence," he offered an apologetic look to his fellow stooge. "How's it different from the simulator?"

Shinji shrugged. "The simulator does a good job of mimicking the overall affect, but when you get inside an actual Eva…I don't know, it's like you're not the only one in there. It's like your sharing a mind with something else entirely. But it's not in a bad way – you sort of get a feeling that the Eva wants to protect you. Once you're inside the Eva, you feel safe…"

xxxxx

April 14th, 2016

Shinji dropped his sniper rifle.

No. There had to be another way. There had to be a way to get Kensuke out of the Eva without killing him. They had tried ejecting the entry plug, but a web like growth had seem to trap the rear hatch into place. If he could just force open that latch…

He bolted down the side of the mountain, emerging from his vantage point, making a controlled fall down the hillside towards Unit 08.

The desert camo Eva turned its head up and away from the escape hatch it had been clawing at to meet the oncoming Unit 01 head on. Shinji knew he was outmatched – in close quarters combat, he was outclass by almost all his peers, save maybe for Hikari – and they had all lost in bouts of physical strength. But he tried anyway.

The enemy Eva had him on the ground in no time flat. He felt the Eva's hand enclose around his own, and all of the sudden, his throat began to constrict as if on its own.

Alarms went off throughout the entry plug. He vaguely heard shouts of the intercom, ordering him to eject. But he ignored them. His eyes had fallen on something, one of the weapons that Unit 05 had dropped.

A progressive katana.

xxxxx

"Contact reestablished with Units 00 and 06!" Maya shouted, her voice nearly lost amongst the din of commands being issues inside Central Dogma.

"Finally, something we can use!" Misato growled, slamming down the intercom button. "Unit 00! Unit 06! Come in! Do you read me!?"

Hikari's voice trembled over the intercom. "I'm here…"

"I am here," Rei's voice, while broken by the crackling comm unit, was otherwise unobstructed by fear or any emotion.

"Status report!"

"It seems that both out weapons, our comm systems, and our targeting monitors have temporarily shorted out," Rei reported evenly. "Our intercoms and targeting systems have come back online, but our weapons are still offline. Beyond that, our Eva's appear to be in working condition. Awaiting orders."

"Your orders?" Misato gritted her teeth. "Unit 08 has been reclassified as the 13th Angel, and Shinji has abandoned his post and engaged the enemy head on! Your orders are to destroy the Angel without causing any residual damage to Unit 01!"

"Understood," Rei acknowledged.

Hikari remained silent.

"6th Child, do you copy!?"

Hikari voiced sounded weak. "I…I am unable to comply…Major…"

"And why is that?"

"Because…with all due respect, Major," Hikari said, her voice gaining firmness. "That's my friend in there! I cannot in good conscious fire upon Unit 08."

Misato massaged the bridge of her nose. "Hikari…"

"I shall take the shot, Major," Rei said. "Send me another positron rifle. I will make it a clean shot and avoid Unit 01 altogether. And…" Misato could tell Rei was saying this for Hikari's sake. "I will make it a disabling, non-lethal shot."

Hikari's voice sounded relieved. "Ayanami…"

Misato held her breath. She could tell this was as good as it was going to get. "Do it."

xxxxx

Rei had to wait only another ten seconds before the extra positron rifle emerged from a trapdoor beneath her footing. She fixed a bead on Unit 08, and guided the cross hairs until the bead rested on Unit 08's lower haunch.

Then suddenly, she was staring at a black screen with the words "System Failure" in red font flashing across her targeting reticule.

"Again?" Rei hissed in frustration. She reset the targeting system, and once again fixed a bead on Unit 08, before once again, the system shorted out.

"What is happening?" Rei blurted out, confused.

Then she saw Kaworu's face appear in a communication box across her monitor.

"Rei…let him do it."

Rei nearly gasped. "Kaworu? What are you talking about?"

The boy's face shook. "This is a battle that only Shinji can win. For his sake, for Kensuke's sake, for all our sakes, you must allow him to finish it."

"And how do you know this!?" Rei demanded. "How can you ask me to just sit and watch while the one I love is being throttled before my eyes!?"

Rei's emotions were spilling out, her normally cool battle calm losing its focus. The same thing had happened months ago when she had missed the synchronized shot against the 7th Angel. Her emotions had gotten in her way. And now, she had the site of her boyfriend having the life slowly squeezed out of him to contend with, which meant there was that much more at stake. If she missed her shot now…

She looked up at Kaworu. Last time, he had been the source of her emotionally instability. This time, he was preventing it from getting out of control.

She gritted her teeth, activating her comm link. "Major Katsuragi, my targeting systems are continuing to pose a problem. Permission to engage?"

"Denied," Misato said, as Rei knew she would. "Your new orders are to retrieve Unit 01. You hear me, Hikari? Both of you are to get Unit 01 to an escape elevator, ASAP!"

Rei nodded before Hikari even had a chance to respond. "Understood."

She switched off her comm link.

"Thank you, Rei," Kaworu said from his private transmission. "Trust me, this is the best for us all."

Rei stared scornfully at him. "For your sake, I hope it is."

xxxxx

Unit 00 and 06 got to the scene just in time to watch the tables suddenly turn.

Shinji had gotten a hold of Kaworu's progressive katana, and had lashed out, severing both Unit 08's arms.

Rei and Hikari could only stare in shock as Shinji kicked the armless tan Eva onto its back, quickly getting to his feet, and slashed again, this time removing both its legs, leaving only bloody stumps on what was otherwise a torso with a snarling head.

Unit 01 stood above it, remaining deathly still. Inside, Shinji was oddly calm, even having just rent Unit 08's arms and legs from its body – and thereby traumatizing what he hoped was an unconscious Kensuke inside the entry plug. Oddly, he didn't care. Arms and legs were better than taking the whole thing down. This way at least, Kensuke would survive, if at the cost of being bedridden for a week or more.

His enemy immobile, Unit 01 was unhampered in turning the flailing torso onto its front and ripping the rear hatch from it's back. Despite being armless and legless, the Angel within the Eva's body still thrashed like a fish out of water, and Shinji was forced to straddle the flailing bio mech.

It was with cold surgical precision that Shinji pried the gooey but otherwise unharmed entry plug from the Eva's back. Now free, its emergency booster's activated, and the entry plug flew out of Unit 01's hands, half a kilometer into the air, before releasing a parachute, letting the plug sink safely to the ground, well removed from the battlefield.

With Kensuke out of harms way, Shinji twirled the progressive katana in his Eva's hands, before plunging it to the hilt into the back of Unit 08's neck, pinning it to the ground below.

With a final growl, the beast finally stopped moving.

xxxxx

Kensuke woke up about 6 hours later in a hospital bed. He looked around and saw what he hoped were his glasses laying on the table to his left, and reached out to pluck them from the table and place them around his face.

He relaxed his arm, surprised at the amount of effort it had taken. He'd never been operated on, and had never taken any form of anesthetic aside from a local shot when his dentist had had to fill in a cavity when he was seven. This must be what waking up from chemical induced slumber felt like. He had to say, he didn't much care for it. He felt groggy and just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. But he couldn't, cause his back was so sore, and his neck-

Suddenly, he realized his neck was in a brace. He tried to sit up, but couldn't muster the strength. Panic almost overtook him. What had happened!? The last thing he remembered was getting into his Eva and-

"Kensuke…"

He turned his eyes as best as he could in the direction of the voice – finding Mana standing beside his bed, her eyes red.

"M…" he tried to talk without being able to move his jaw. "Mana?"

Mana closed her eyes tightly before balling her hands into fists and slamming them down hard on the bed.

"You idiot! What'd you go and do that for!? You scared me half to death! When I told you that soldiers die, you weren't supposed to prove me right, you big dummy! What were you thinking!? I completely screwed up on my maiden campaign thanks to you! Don't get comfortable, cause the minute you're well enough to stand up…"

Kensuke tensed up, but couldn't move anywhere, and was forced to take the punishment, thanking whatever gods were listening that she was striking the mattress and not his body.

Mana finally calmed down, and was left panting with her fists firmly planted where they had last struck.

"I'm sorry, Mana," Kensuke sighed. "I don't know what happened. It just…went off the deep end, and then…I just remember blanking out."

Mana stood up and stepped over to where his face was. "They're gonna want to hear that at Command. I was asked to tell you that your neck is fine; they just put you under and put you in a brace to prevent you from snapping it when you finally came to. As it is, you've suffered some major whiplash."

Kensuke blinked. "That's a relief. The part I understood, at least."

Mana shook her head, tears threatening to resurface again. "You big dummy…"

Kensuke looked innocent. "Hey, I tried, didn't I? I gave it my all, and then it blew up in my face. What was I suppose to do?"

Mana sighed, looking down at him. "Nothing. You got lucky this time – you could have been killed. Let's hope it doesn't happen again."

She leaned down and kissed him on the lips before he could so much as blink.

"For both our sakes," Mana winked, dashing out of the room before her senses could catch up to her.

Kensuke, for his part, just gawked at the ceiling for a while.

"Huh-guh-whaa?"

xxxxx

Fury. That was the emotion Kaworu felt emanating from the monoliths of SEELE. Pure and utter fury.

"Explain yourself, Tabris!" SEELE 08 growled to the point where his mike began to crackle. "You sabotaged your own pilots. Why?"

Kaworu shrugged. "We won, didn't we?"

"By the skin of your teeth!" SEELE 05 retorted.

"I simply determined what the best course of action was and I took it," Kaworu said. "Sometimes, an Angel's logic can be more…convoluted than a humans. Surely, you all know this."

"Answer me this," SEELE 01 said, who had been silent for the longest of all of them. "Your growth is far from complete. How did you attain enough power to short circuit two Evangelion's computer systems as well as two of their weapons, in addition to hacking into their communication server? That should be beyond your power."

Kaworu smiled. "Should be. But wasn't. Isn't it fun when things don't go according to plan?"

There was a long silence.

"We'll be watching you," SEELE 02 said. "You no longer have this council's trust."

Kaworu nodded. "I'll try not to cry."

More fury emanated from the council.

"Dismissed!"

The lights shut off, and Kaworu was alone.

Save for one.

"I'm proud of you, Mayumi," he said in a sardonic tone. "The council was effectively fooled. And your actions yesterday-"

"My actions," Mayumi's small voice quipped. "My actions nearly caused the deaths of every single one of my comrades, including yourself."

Kaworu stifled a laugh. "I was in no danger, and the rest of the entry plugs escaped intact. There was no harm done."

Mayumi shook her head. "But there was risk. You take far too many chances Kaworu. Or should I say, Tabris."

Kaworu spread his arms wide. "It doesn't change the facts, Mayumi. You and I are both crucial ingredients in what is about to take place. When the time comes, you will be forced to act, I'm afraid."

Mayumi frowned. But she knew he was right.

"What's your game, Kaworu?" she demanded. "Whose side are you on? What are you trying to get out of all of this?"

Kaworu simply smiled.

"You'll find out soon enough."

xxxxx

That night, a platoon – nay, a flotilla of pilots entered Commander Gendo Ikari's office. As Asuka, Hiakari, Toji and Rei stormed the desk where the two occupants were in alternating states of sitting and standing, Fuyutsuki looked alarmed, while Gendo remained as calm and collected as he ever was.

"Commander," Asuka planted her hand on his desk. "We really must protest!"

"Yeah, what gives!?" Toji added. "Locking Shinji up for saving Kensuke's life! He should be given a medal or something'!"

"Sir," Hikari said, trying to be reasonable. "We've all agreed – Shinji's actions were in the best interests of the pilots, the protection of NERV, and eliminating the Angels. In all accounts, sir, Shinji has gone above and beyond-"

"Pilots," Gendo said, cutting them off. "That's quite enough. Your actions in coming here are useless. My decision is final."

Asuka planted her foot down. "Sir, with all due respect, he's your _son_ for God's sake!"

Gendo nodded. "I am aware of this, Third Child. And as his father, it's my responsibility to discipline him."

All the pilots seemed to inhale as they prepared to launch into yet another tirade.

"One week, grounded to his quarters should do," Gendo said before anyone could say a word.

The pilots were effectively winded.

"That's all?" Toji blinked. "Grounded for a week?"

Gendo nodded. "Should an Angel attack, he is to report to NERV as usual, but for the offense of disobeying a direct order, and in light of his accomplishments in the most recent battle, this seemed to be the most appropriate form of discipline. Is there a problem?"

All the pilots exchanged glances.

"That's…very reasonable of you, sir…" Hikari said, her face flushed.

Toji nodded, hands in his pockets.

Asuka just nodded once in approval before turning to go. "Well in that case, we best be going."

Toji and Hikari quickly stumbled after her.

Only Rei remained.

"Is there something you need, Rei?" Gendo asked, once the other pilots were gone.

Rei was silent for a moment, and then…

"It's nothing, sir…"

She turned to go.

xxxxx

"That was really reckless, Shinji," Rei said condescendingly. It might have sounded more condescending had she not been holding him possessively whilst lying on his bed while she said it.

"Sorry," Shinji winced. His body was still sore from the fight. He had nearly been strangled to death, and now he was in a similar danger from Rei's vice like grip on him. "My friend was in trouble, and I just sort of…snapped, I guess."

Rei pouted. "You certainly put the rest of us through a lot. It was all I could do contain myself, seeing Unit 08 strangling you like that."

Shinji winced again. "I'm…I'm sorry, Rei. I didn't mean to do that. I just…wasn't thinking, I guess."

"Clearly," Rei lightly flicked his forehead. "Baka."

Shinji gave her his best puppy-dog face, and Rei shook her head.

"Such looks cannot faze me Shinji."

Shinji nuzzled her shoulder.

"No," Rei commanded. "Stop it."

Shinji began to lick her face.

"Shinji!" Rei gasped, as he suddenly tackled her, licking her ear. "Shinji, would you…ahhhh! Stop that!"

Shinji relented but did not get off of her, instead resting all his weight on her as they both lay down on the bed.

"Mmmm…" Rei groaned in annoyance. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Have I mentioned I love you?" Shinji said, spirits oddly lifted.

Rei smiled. "Not today you haven't."

Shinji tapped her nose. "Do you only speak in contractions around me? Cause you completely drop them whenever we're in combat."

Rei smiled, matter of factly. "I feel comfortable around you."

Shinji kissed her. "Well, that's good."

Rei shook her head, ironically. "Grounded to your quarters for a week, and all you care about is whether I'm comfortable enough around you to use contractions?"

Shinji laughed, before suddenly grabbing Rei by the arms and pinning them to the bed.

Rei flushed. "Sh-Shinji!"

Shinji licked her ear, whispering. "We could do it right here, you know? I'm not going anywhere for a while. No one would have to know."

Rei's heart pounded in hear chest. "I…I think I'd rather wait."

Shinji kissed her ear again, but let go of her arms. "I can wait."

As soon as Shinji relaxed, Rei seized her opportunity to return the favor and nip Shinji's ear, receiving a surprised yelp for her trouble.

She looked up at him, almost sulking. "This does not mean I have any qualms with making out."

Shinji's look of surprise turned into a smile. Maybe being grounded wasn't going to be so bad after all.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

A/N: I'm back, folks. Keep track of the dates in this chapter, it gets tricky.

April 17th, 2016

Misato blanched. The artificial Geo-Front in Berlin didn't boast the sheer size of the one in Tokyo-3, but it did support a great number of the same functions. Much to Japan's chagrin, Germany was still leading the world industry in terms of engineering feats, particularly as they pertained to warfare. That being said, the Berlin Geo-Front was the first recipient of the top of the line materials, the latest technological advances, and was constantly being upgraded with new features that were hot off the presses. Even Tokyo-3 didn't boast the same level of armaments as a defensive bunker. Tokyo-3 was designed to be a fallout shelter. Berlin was engineered for war. Its Geo-Front was an absolute vault. Nothing manmade had a chance of even denting the surface, much less getting into it.

And the Angel had punched its way into it like it was little more than tinfoil.

"Battle stations! Everyone! Scuttle the pilots! We need you out there, _now!_"

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

Most of the pilots' training consisted of facing down mock replicas of previous angels, ranging from the full inventory of types fought over the past year, depending on terrain. They'd even gone through a session where the 11th angel had "taken over NERV" and the pilots were forced to go through escape procedures. This peeved Asuka to no end, as there was no actual fighting involved. But the exercise did involve navigating through collapsed tunnels around a digital representation of the first branch of NERV headquarters, some areas sealed off with Bakelite, and others infected with a reddish clot.

During their free sparring session, however, Asuka decided that since their entire team had gathered at the First Branch, and garnered some reasonable practice time, they should have one final climactic battle of the sexes.

"Time to show you all who's really in charge!" Asuka crowed, as her teammates selected their weapons of choice. "Losers have to make dinner for a week!"

Toji's face appeared on her console. "That's a lose/lose situation for us, Red. I'd rather get my butt kicked _here and now_ then have to face _your_ cooking for a week."

Asuka glared at him through the screen. "What did you say!?"

Hikari's face appeared on both screens, looking diplomatic. "Hey now, _my_ cooking's not that bad…"

Rei was experimenting with new expressions. "Shinji, I believe you are about to, I think the term is, 'have your butt kicked?'"

Shinji, still grounded but for NERV exercises (not that that affected his schedule much – he basically never went anywhere besides NERV and the pilot's dorm) gave Rei a frustrated look. "Rei, would it kill you to go easy on me, just this once?"

Rei gave him the slightest of smiles. "Do I ever go easy on you?"

"You don't need Rei to go easy on you, Shinji," was Kaworu's polite reassurance. "Have confidence in yourself. You've been training yourself hard, and it's really paid off – we won our last battle because of you."

Shinji hung his head. "Yeah, but only after I disobeyed direct orders and plunged headlong into the fray. I put everything at risk for a last ditch effort. That's not skill – that's stupidity."

"Skill or not," Asuka interjected, before Kaworu could retort – she didn't much care of her boyfriend apparent to be imparting his unexplainable skill onto her arch-nemesis. "It's just gonna wind up with Kaworu fighting Mayumi in the end."

Kaworu smirked at her. "Anything's possible, Asuka…"

Mana was busy making sure Kensuke was up to fighting.

"Are you sure you want to take part?"

Kensuke's dessert camouflage Unit 07 actually stood out amongst the green foliage of the artificial terrain. Conversely, Mana's jungle Eva Unit 06 was so well suited to this map, Kensuke could barely see her Eva even when it was standing in front of his own.

Convenient.

"My neck still hasn't quite healed, but my simulator's hydraulics have been toned down to barely ten percent," Kensuke reassured her, honestly. "Doctor's orders."

"Still…" Mana said, concern evident in her voice. "I still think you should sit this one out."

"What, and give your team _more_ of an advantage than it already has?" Kensuke's mouth curved into a sly smirk. "I can't abandon my team, even to _your_ mercy."

Mana's smiled wryly back at him. "Ok then…I won't be going easy on you."

Kensuke's smile widened. "Likewise…"

xxxxx

April 17th, 2016

Kensuke bit his lip. He hadn't had time to think, to prepare, to even begin to put together a plan. Here he and his comrades were being loaded into their Evas, about to face a single enemy. Just one! But it outclassed each and every one of them a hundred fold! He would rather have faced the same odds they had yesterday, in the simulation room. Even if that had been real, and their lives had been at stake, it would be an easier task than taking on this thing!

He hung his head in his hands, eyes wide, pupils dilated. "How am I going to do this…? How am I going…?"

To his surprise, Rei's face appeared on his screen.

"Calm yourself, Kensuke. Your mind is one of our most valuable tools."

Kensuke looked desperately at her face on the monitor. "What do you want from me? There's nothing on the other side of the equals sign here! We're screwed! We're just simply screwed!"

Rei's voice sounded with more force than he had ever anticipated from her.

"Kensuke Aida, we are not 'screwed.' Now calm down and listen to me. Shinji and I have a method that worked for us in the beginning. I would analyze the Angel's capacity, and point out whatever definite data existed – to use a term you might be familiar with, I 'lay the cards on the table,' That being done, Shinji was always able to arrange them in the correct order to facilitate a path to victory. Shinji is a pragmatic thinker, but he cannot see things as you do. I believe that you, Kensuke Aida, have the capacity to formulate a plan that will allow us to defeat this Angel."

Kensuke took a few deep breaths, his head hung, neck aching. "Well…better than laying down and dying, I guess…" Lifting his head, he pursed his brow in a determined expression. "Alright, Ayanami. Lay the cards on the table for me."

Rei very quickly summarized the Angel's capabilities. "I have reviewed the security footage from aboveground. The target seems to move at a very steady, yet slow pace. It doesn't seem to have a great turning radius, and furthermore, it always stops movement before attacking, which not only provides us with an opportunity to slow it down, but also to predict its attacks. As for its armaments, it seems to have an optical laser similar to the third Angel, whose combat footage you should be familiar with. The scope of this weapon seems to be many times greater, which seems to suggest that our greatest priority, apart from halting its movement, is avoiding this weapon. One hit with this weapon is sure to compromise the Eva's special armor. It make have other weapons too – those paper arms do no look unthreatening. It is also surely well armored."

Kensuke only pursed his lips as he took in all this information. The odds didn't look good. But he saw a shot. It was a slim shot. But he had to take it. Patching in a communication to Major Katsuragi, he outlined his plan. The major looked about as pleased as he did, but she agreed that it was the best course of action, and gave him the go ahead.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

The teams were split. Unit's 00, 02, 05, 06, and 08 were on one side of the map, and Unit's 01, 03, 04 and 07 were on the other end. They were uneven odds in the girls' favor, with most of the experienced pilots on the girl's side to boot. Mana's Eva practically blended into the background, though Asuka's bright red Eva and Rei's yellow one were easy targets. Hikari and Mayumi were going to be problematic for the boys though.

On the boy's side, Toji stood the best chance of not being seen, his black mech doing well to stay within the shadows. Shinji's suit wasn't all too visible, but Kensuke's Eva was blindingly obvious, and Kaworu's iridescent silver Evangelion, which actually gleamed in the light, made him a dead giveaway. Lucky, the unit was piloted by NERV's second best pilot.

Kensuke had mapped the odds in his head. Unit 07 would be best suited to be stationed at long range – it made sense to keep himself and his injured neck out of the action for the most part. It would provide him with the opportunity to direct his own team's traffic as well.

He and Shinji were snipe types, though Shinji could hold his own in melee combat nowadays. Toji was a natural brawler, and Kaworu was all around good at everything. The opposing team had two snipe types – Rei and Hikari – two brawlers – Asuka and Mana, though Mana was no beginner with firearms – and one all around fighter – Mayumi.

The first question in Kensuke's mind was where to put Shinji – in front with Toji, to go toe to toe with Asuka and Mana, or to have him stay behind and try to pin down their opponents.

The second question in Kensuke's mind was what to do with Kaworu. He was a competent sniper, and a proficient brawler. Where would he be best positioned?

While their opponents had them outnumbered, the boy's team had more versatility, and Kensuke could use that to be unpredictable. Also, Toji's suit gave him a slight advantage as far as stealth went. He might be able to evade the snipers…

As he gazed at the map, a strategy began to form in Kensuke's head.

"Gather 'round, guys. I have a plan."

xxxxx

April 17th, 2017

At Misato's command, the Eva's all launched into the internal ramps, sending them into the Geo-Front instead of out onto the surface above. They arrived just as 15th Angel descended the makeshift entrance it had so obligingly made for itself.

"Now, before it can land!" Kensuke shouted. "Neutralize it's AT field! Hit it with everything you've got!"

While the pilots had their own personal weapons of choice, this was not the situation for spears and sniper rifles. Spread out across the field were Shinji and Kaworu both wielded progressive katanas and Asuka and Toji, who both clutched progressive axes. Lined up to open fire was Mana, dual wielding pallet rifles, Mayumi, sporting a NERV issue positron cannon, and Kensuke, who aimed twin rocket launchers at the Angel.

They unloaded everything, pouring ammunition into the Angel as it descended. Despite loud, thundering explosions that shook the very ground beneath their Eva's feat, the Angel did not show any signs of slowing down, nor did it appear to be so much as scratched.

"Ayanami…" Kensuke muttered, though the sound of gunfire made it impossible to communicate over the comm. "I think we might have underestimated its armor…"

As soon as its feet touched the ground, Kensuke shouted. "Cease fire! Scatter!"

No one had heard the order, but Rei, Hikari, Mana and Mayumi had heard his plan beforehand. They knew the plan, and they knew the threat the Angel possessed. They each discarded their firearms and scattered.

Not quickly enough, as it seemed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Kensuke's face blanched as he saw the gray tapered sheets that had been little more than flaps on the Angel's sides had now extended into long, ribbon-like blades. "What the…Mayumi!?"

Unit 08 was down, its legs ending at stumps just below the knees. The Eva writhed on the ground as Mayumi whimpered in shared pain.

"Mayumi!" Kaworu cried over the intercom. "Can you hear me? Can you still project your AT field?"

The girl's voice cracked, but remained audible. "I…I think so…"

That was all Kaworu managed to get out before the Angel took off Unit 04's head.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

The red Unit 02, the nearly invisible jungle camo Unit 06, and the deep blue Unit 08 crept towards the enemy position. On their radar, they could see their allies positioned around them – three in front, two hanging back.

Asuka, who had taken up position of self-proclaimed leader, had decided to take the boys by storm, sending their heaviest fighters up front, and have Rei and Hikari cover their backs.

"See anything yet?" Asuka asked the others impatiently.

"Negative" Mana replied curtly. "No enemy sited."

"Nothing on my end either," Mayumi said calmly, her normal timidness gone. In her Eva, she was as at home as a fish in the water.

Asuka groaned in distrust. "Hikari, Wonder girl, anything?"

"Nothing," was Rei's reply.

"Sorry," Hikari said, solemnly.

Asuka was annoyed. This was supposed to be an easy victory for her team. In a fair battle, the combined might of the girls' team easily trumped the boys'. But now they couldn't even _find_ their opponents! They had been trudging through forests, over hills, through marshes, terrain that wasn't even remotely German, Asuka fumed. How likely were they to actually fight in conditions like these? They had selected this terrain for its distinct advantage of Mana's Eva, and because it was one of the only stages large enough to accommodate all nine children in a full-scale campaign. However, now the terrain was working against them. Snipers would be at a disadvantage over this much distance, and the trees would only make things trickier.

Asuka toyed with the possibility of having one of the forward attackers stay behind to cover with Rei and Hikari. The increased number of pinpoints going downrange improved their odds. While they had the advantage of a larger melee team, they were about matched in terms of snipers. Somewhat disadvantaged, actually, since Hikari had the lowest score out of all of-

BLAM!

Asuka looked to the left.

There was a hole smoldering straight through her shoulder pauldron. The bullet had missed her Eva's head by a matter of _meters_.

"Cover!" she reacted instantly, her Eva dropping on all fours.

Instantly, her two comrades were on the ground, hiding behind trees, trying to stay out of sight.

"Rei, Hikari, where did that shot come from?" Asuka blared into her microphone.

"Southeast," was Rei's curt reply. "I'd estimate a distance of about half a kilometer away."

Before Asuka could even begin to go over her choices, she heard a cry of alarm from Unit 06.

"Mana!?" Asuka commed to her teammate's frequency. "Mana, what's happening?"

Static.

Their stealth advantage was gone.

"Mayumi, stay alert," Asuka's voice lowered. "We're not alone here."

No response.

"Mayumi? Come on, they couldn't have gotten you too!"

No answer.

"Rei, Hikari!" Asuka cried into her mike, suddenly panicked. "Give me _something_!"

Asuka stared all around her, but all she could see were trees.

"Unit 06 dropped off the map," Rei reported. "Unit 08 has ceased movement about ten clicks west of your position."

"Um…Asuka?" Hikari's nervous voice came over the microphone. "I think you should get out of there…"

Asuka smiled.

"Get real, Hikari. If I move, the snipers get a clear shot on me. They want me to panic. But I'm not going to play into their hands. Where was Mana's last position?"

Hikari checked her radar. "Umm…about…a click and a half north of yours."

Asuka nodded and crawled on her Eva's hands and knees towards where her comrade had fallen. A picture was forming in her mind. The boys had thought ahead for once – they had kept three guys back as snipers, sending one melee fighter, most likely Kaworu, ahead to take them out under the cover of the maximal number of supporting fire. But while Shinji may be a crack shot, Kensuke's scores were average at best, and Toji…

Asuka didn't get to finish the thought before she came across Unit 06's lifeless body. Even as it lay on the ground, it blended into the surrounding foliage. It was the most ideal model for this map. How had it been taken down so easily? The only other Evas that even came close were Unit 06 – Hikari's blue green Eva – and Unit 03…

Asuka stared at the peak of the hill she and her team had been on. It came up higher than the artificial sun, the whole hillside blocking out the sun's rays.

The whole hillside where she stood was completely bathed in shadow.

"Toji…"

That was all she got out before her right leg went out from under her.

She acted on instinct, rolling away on her good leg before Unit 03 could bring its progressive knife down into her back.

She was kneeling, her Eva's Achilles tendon severed. She was at a disadvantage. But she could see Unit 03 now. It wasn't completely hidden, but as long as she kept him in her sights…

"You stand out like a sore thumb in that red suit, Soryu," Toji said mockingly. "It was almost too easy."

Asuka grinned. "You're standing about eighty meters in front of me, Monkey Face, crouching, with your head maybe twenty meters off the ground."

Toji smiled. "That's great. So you can see me-"

BLAM!

A sniper round went right through Unit 03's head.

Asuka smiled. Perfect! Since they didn't have radar on their opponents, the only way to alert your comrades about your enemy's position was through the commlink, by word of mouth. She had disguised playful banter as giving Rei the directions she needed to aim her rifle.

"Good work, Rei. Now time to-"

BLAM!

xxxxx

April 17th, 2017

Shinji gaped in horror. Mayumi was out for the count. Doctor Akagi had told him that the higher the sync ratio, the more a pilot shared with their Eva. Mayumi's sync rate was nearly 100%. At that rate…how much damage would she sustain?

And Kaworu…he might be dead. Who could say at this point? But regardless of his friends' condition, the fact remained that NERV's two top pilots were now disabled. The next ranked behind them were Asuka, Rei…and himself.

"Kaworu! Kaworu!"

To his surprise, the shouts were not coming from him, or even Rei…but from Asuka.

"_Sie schweinhund_!" Asuka bellowed, charging the Angel full out, her Axe bared at her side, Unit-02's feet tearing up city-block-sized tufts of earth as it ran full speed ahead.

"Asuka!" Hikari wailed, seeing her friend fling herself at the Angel that had just swatted aside the strongest people she'd ever known with impunity. "Stop! Don't!!! Please, _DON'T_!!!"

The Angel retracted its ribbon blade once again, and let it off in Asuka's direction.

In all her stupor, Asuka still had the wherewithal to see the attack coming. She raised her axe over her Eva's head, and brought it down to connect with the very tip of the ribbon blade.

CRASH!

Asuka's eyes widened. Nobody moved. Nobody blinked.

The axe had shattered.

The 15th Angel's arms was now puncturing Unit 02's chest. Behind her, the ribbon trailed out of her back, dripping with blood.

"Asuka!" Hikari screeched.

The redhead didn't respond. The Angel simply raised its ribbon arm flat upward, flinging the giant mechanoid off itself, Unit-02 sliding off the bloodstained blade with a sickening 'schlick' before tumbling to the ground.

"Asuka!" Hikari cried again, tears streaming down her face. Her fears were coming true. In the back of her mind, ever since joining NERV, some small piece of her knew that this day would come. That she would live to see the day when all her friends would simply die before her eyes.

Something inside her snapped.

"ASUKA!!!"

Without thinking, Hikari gunned her green biomech towards the broken red one. The 15th Angel's unseeing eyes seemed to follow her, and lanced its weapon forward again…

Into Toji's jet black Unit-03, puncturing its stomach.

"Sorry, Class Rep…" he grunted, coughing up blood inside his entry plug. "I didn't make it in time…"

Hikari could barely breathe. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that the Angel's spear-like arm had lanced through Toji's mech and into her own, piercing her Eva's lung. But it did contribute to her suddenly losing vision and collapsing in a messy heap of broken flesh and blood.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

Of course, what Asuka didn't account for was that, since she was standing over Unit 06's mechanical body, she and Toji had been right in range of their enemy's fire as well. The only reason she hadn't been fired on before was the risk of hitting the invisible Unit 03. But once he was gone…

"Alright Shinji, let's go!" Kaworu instructed, as Unit 04 and Unit 01 proceeded to charge through the underbrush. Such reckless abandon might have gotten them killed, but with the enemy numbers dwindled, and the overgrowth of trees once again working in their advantage, not to mention two targets to aim at, they managed to avoid the first several pot shots that Rei and Hikari aimed at them.

"North, northwest!" came Kensuke's immediate estimate. Unencumbered by movement, he was able to pay close attention to the trajectory of incoming fire. "I'd say…600 hundred meters away!"

Without ado, Shinji and Kaworu both drew their pallet rifles and began to shoot downrange in the general direction of Rei and Hikari, laying down suppressive fire.

Hikari lost her nerve and had Unit 05 take cover, but Rei remained resolute. She took careful aim at Unit 04, the easier of the two targets, and certainly the biggest threat coming their way.

She aimed…and pulled the trigger.

Her shot passed through Unit 04's head and shoulder pauldron.

"Nice try, Rei," Kaworu's mocking voice came over the comm link.

Rei scoffed. While technically, they were supposed to remain in radio silence with the opposing team, what bothered her was how clear it was to her that Kaworu had seen the shot coming with whatever unearthly power her possessed, and used that to dodge what should have otherwise been a killing shot.

Rei discarded her sniper rifle and took cover, drawing her progressive spear. Hikari did the same.

Both attacking Eva's drew progressive katanas, but before they reached their opponents, Shinji suddenly noticed that he was alone.

"Kaworu?"

He didn't hesitate and continued to run, ruling that it was only a simulation, and he shouldn't worry about his friend's safety. Had this been a real fight, however…

Unit 01 dove into the valley that had been serving as the girls' team's home base, barely missing the point of Rei's spear. He batted it away with his katana, and ducked Hikari's cleaving swing. He took his Eva into a roll, slicing at a blue pair of legs, which leaped out of the way, but he feinted into another roll, this time towards a green pair of legs.

Hikari was not as quick.

"Whoa!" the brunette yelped as her Eva's legs gave out, tumbling to the ground. She wasn't completely disabled, but she was out of the fight.

Unit 01 backed away as Unit 00 leaned down to procure her comrade's spear, dual wielding two progressive spears.

"Well then…" Rei said, not caring enough about the radio-silence rule, seeing as how two of her fellow pilots had already broken it, and the fact that she simply wanted to poke fun at Shinji. "Let's see if Kaworu's lessons have paid off."

Rei swung the two unwieldy staves effortlessly, crisscrossing the flying steel in a mish-mash of bladed fury, creating a veritably impenetrable defense around her Eva's body.

Unit 01 took a few paces back, putting some distance between the two of them. When Rei did not advance, Shinji dropped his katana and immediately drew his pallet rifle, opening fire on the unsuspecting Unit 00.

Rei managed to dodge before her Eva took any serious damage, but one of her spears shattered from the bullet fire.

Unit 00 managed to situate itself behind a copse of trees, and Rei took cover.

"That was a dirty trick, Shinji."

"One of Kaworu's lessons," Shinji reasoned. "Was to make use of every available advantage."

Rei would have replied, but she had to roll forward in order to avoid the katana slice that removed the tops of the swathe of trees she'd been hiding behind. Rei was on the defensive now, using her spear to block Shinji's forceful strikes, unable to push Unit 01 far back enough to make use of the bladed tip of her spear.

Unit 01 had forced Unit 00 back against a wall, which Shinji used to his advantage, pressing his attacks against his opponent. Rei also used the wall to her advantage, however, and pushed off of it while blocking, forcing Shinji back far enough to get the point of her spear between them.

Shinji held his ground, keeping his blade between them, straight up and down, ready to strike. Unit 00's footing wasn't in the best position, while Unit 01 was perfectly balanced. Her grip on her spear wasn't all that great either. If Rei tried to shift her stance, she would be opening herself up to attack, and she knew it. But she would still be able to do some damage if he tried to attack from this position.

Unit 01 edged closer to her, just enough for the tip of their blades to cross. The two smooth metal surfaces touched each other, grinding softly against one another, the two masses of steel sending spark flying as they touched. Against a spear fighter in the proper stance, a sword had no chance of getting by a spear's defenses. The grip on the spear allowed for much more leverage than the sword, and it had greater length as well. But Rei hadn't had time to adjust her stance and grip properly, which meant that just the right amount of force…

Shinji brought the tip of his sword away from the spear tip, before twisting his grip sideways with all his strength, leaping forward as he did, slamming the edge of his sword against the center of her spear. The force wasn't enough to make her lose her grip. But it was more than enough to push it aside just enough for Unit 01 to make it past the tip, lunging forward to bring the blade of his katana right down between Unit 00's neck and shoulder.

Unit 00 fell back, slowly losing power.

"Wow, Shinji…" Rei said wide-eyed, before her comm channel went silent.

xxxxx

April 17th, 2016

Shinji felt his world constricting around him. He wanted to run away. He wanted to save his friends. He wanted to tear the Angel limb from limb. He wanted to scream and cry and scratch out his eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"Shinji!" Rei's voice had never sounded so pleading. So desperate. "Shinji, please! Wake up. We need you!"

He slowly began to take stock of what was going on. Mana, ever the trained soldier, had kept a cool head, and rallied the remaining Eva pilots behind the shelter of a knoll. All that remained were herself, Kensuke, Rei and Shinji.

"This is bad…" she said coolly, but with a hard edge to her voice. Somehow, she seemed more cut out to be a leader than even Asuka. "Rei, the Angels are supposed to be attracted to NERV headquarters, correct?"

Rei nodded in the affirmative.

"Then what's it doing? Why is just meandering around? It's like its hunting for us! The Evas, I mean. Why is it after us?"

Rei looked honestly troubled. "I cannot be certain."

Kensuke's face appeared on screen. "I just spoke to Major Katsuragi. In light of…" he paused, taking a breath. "In light of recent developments, we've formulated a new plan…"

The desert camo Unit-07 lifted a barrel shaped object with the UN insignia and the symbol N2.

"While the rest of us lay down suppressive fire from three different angles…one of us has to run up to the Angel and throw up an AT field at the exact moment of detonation."

Mana gaped in stupor. "Are you crazy!? That's suicide!"

Kensuke frowned. "Maybe…maybe not. The Evas are theoretically designed to withstand this sort of thing…"

"Then how will it be enough to kill the Angel!?"

"It's the best chance we've got…" Kensuke said, eyes drifting. "If I can hit the core…and maybe weaken it enough for the rest of you to destroy it…then everyone's…fuck, Toji's sacrifice…"

"And just what exactly makes you think that I'm going to let _you_ be the one to do this, huh!?" Mana had lost her cool edge. Unit-06 forcefully grabbed Unit-7 by the shoulders. Shinji and Rei could only watch impassively.

"Mana…please…" Kensuke's face looked resigned, forlorn. "I have the least combat expertise…the least experience…and the rest of you aren't handicapped…you all not only have the best chance of winning this battle, but of continuing on to defeat the rest of the Angels. That's all…"

His voice tapered off as his Eva as well as the rest of their Evas were suddenly flung in every direction by another one of the Angel's optic blasts, the Angel having evidently discovered the knoll behind which they had hid, and gotten rid of it.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

Unit 04 and Unit 08 were about evenly matched, but Mayumi had a much more potent AT field. In a contest of firearms, Mayumi would win. And in a contest of sheer martial strength, they were about even matched.

Kaworu's katana bounced off Mayumi's spear again and again, neither one of them seeming to tire.

"So, any minute now…"

Mayumi concentrated on the fight, uninterrupted.

"What?"

"Any minute now."

Mayumi pulled Unit 08's head back just far enough to dodge Kaworu's progressive katana, before swinging her spear lower towards his legs, forcing him to jump back.

"I won't be losing anytime soon, if that's what you mean," Mayumi said with a pout.

Kaworu just smiled, and lunged forward, starting the cycle all over again.

It was kind of a dance, with each side attacking and parrying, neither of them venturing too far, being as conservative with their blows, neither side allowing themselves to take a hit.

"Shinji should be here any minute now…"

Mayumi's eyes widened as she saw a flash of purple looming behind Unit 04's attacking form and…

She barely managed to parry Kaworu's thrust, pushing his sword far enough to the side only stab her shoulder.

Mayumi looked at him scornfully. "You won't be able to play mind games with Angels."

Kaworu smiled, Unit 04 bringing his sword up in a high stance. "Just wanted you to be aware of your surroundings…and how not being aware of them can take you by surprise."

Mayumi measured the distance between them, and ventured a probing attack that wasn't meant to land, but merely test Kaworu's defenses.

To her surprise, Unit 04 didn't move. He spear sank firmly into his Eva's chest.

Mayumi's eyes widened. "K-Kaworu?"

Kaworu merely stared out his comm channel at her, satisfied. "Give Shinji a good run for me, would you? This is a _training_ mission, after all."

Mayumi blinked, wide-eyed as Unit 04 fell to the ground.

"Kaworu!"

To her surprise, the shout hadn't been hers, but Shinji's. She looked up to see Unit 01 lunging at her.

With her Eva's injured shoulder, she could only deflect his attacks, not seeing any openings to venture her own. Shinji was attacking her furiously, as if Kaworu had really died. The purple and blue Eva's whirled in a flurry of vibrating steel, none of which was real, but was powered by intent and determination that definitely was.

Shinji had forced her back a good deal. But Mayumi had a sixth sense for finding terrain without looking around. She managed to steer the fight away from any dead ends or steep cliffs, keeping Shinji at bay. She was trying to give him a good run as Kaworu requested. She impressed with the boy's skill, and amazed at how good Kaworu had been at imparting his own skill onto others. If she'd had two arms at her disposal, she might have given him a better fight.

Of course, Shinji was also tiring. He was wasting a lot of energy on high powered attacks, and while their Eva's were powered by S2 engines that ran forever, Shinji's mental and physical reserves were going down from all this offensive attacking, while all Mayumi did was block.

She finally saw her chance, and with a quick, powerful twist of her spear, she managed to fling the sword from his grasp, pointing the tip of her blade inches from his Eva's throat.

"Now…what did we learn?" Mayumi said motherly, although she was panting. It had been a good fight, and she didn't sound arrogant or haughty in her victory.

Shinji, much more out of breath than Mayumi, simply double-checked his radar.

"A very…important lesson…" he said between gasps of breath. "Never…let your opponent…drive you…into sniper range…"

Mayumi had about half a second to blink.

BLAM!

xxxxx

April 17th, 2016

Shinji was still in a daze, his Eva on its hands and knees. The first thing he saw when he lifted his head off the ground was Re's yellow Unit-00. It was running. Towards the Angel. It had something in its hands…

Shinji's eyes flew wide.

"_REI_!!! _DON'T_!!!"

The Angel's attention had seemingly been focused on the other two, as Rei's approach went unhindered. As Zeruel sensed the oncoming presence, it turned its massive, bovine girth to face her just in time to see her slam the volatile UN explosive against its AT Field.

Rei focused all her attention on her AT Field. "AT Field, 100%" she mouthed to herself, as if to make the fact any more clear to whatever Gods decided the fate of this battle.

There was an explosion.

And all Shinji could see was the Angel striking Unit-00 at point blank range, rending it prone.

"…Rei…"

Every muscle in his body urged him forward. Every cell in his brain commanded 'GO!' Every fiber of his being willed himself forward. His Eva moved by what felt like inches as he saw the Angel turn its attention on Rei's helpless Eva, retracting its deadly arm to finish her off.

_Make it…_ he pleaded to his uncooperative muscles, to his narrowing vision, his ringing ears, his bleeding lungs. _I have to make it! Please! If I can just push her out of the way…or take the hit for her…anything! Anything to let her survive! Anything! PLEASE!_

He was too slow. His legs weren't moving fast enough. He saw the Eva look up in defeat. He saw the Angel's arm begin to extend.

_Not enough…_Realization hit Shinji's subconscious before it could even register in his mind. Of all the conditions he needed out of life, Rei's survival was at the top. He could weather any hardship, any torment, any condition, so long as she was there.

Something primal inside him made the connection that the current abilities within his capacity were not going to be able to fulfill this requirement. This was simply a contradiction of reality. Rei's existence was a necessity. The very will within his subconscious refused to accept the possibility of her dying. It was out of the question. It was not even an option. It wanted…it needed…it required that Rei be saved. It required that this Angel be stopped. It required that Unit-01 make the distance in time.

No matter what it did to the pilot inside.

SCHINK!

Eva Unit-01 sheathed its katana behind the 15th Angel. On the ground, on either side of the prone, throbbing Unit-00 lay the Angel's ribbon arm, neatly bisected.

A few seconds later, so did the Angel itself.

And inside the Eva…Shinji knew nothing.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

"What the _hell_ was that about!?"

The girls were sitting in the changing room, some with towels wrapped around their bodies, others discreetly (or in Asuka's case, openly) changing clothes.

"What do you mean, Asuka?" Hikari asked, innocently. "We lost fair and square."

"Yeah," Asuka sniffed. "Because miss _perfect_ over there-" she pointed an accusing finger at Mayumi. "-decided to take off and do her own thing!"

Mayumi looked unapologetically at Asuka. "Predictable."

Asuka's nose wrinkled at that. "What was that!?"

Mayumi's gaze turned sour. "You are too predictable, Soryu. You charge into the fray, giving orders like you know what's best. Anyone who'd spent enough time in an Eva could have predicted the outcome of that battle the way you outlined it! Our numbers mean nothing when you're not going to use them effectively."

This only served to rile Asuka even further. "Who do you think you are, 9th Child!? Who's to say my strategy wouldn't have worked if you'd have just stuck with the plan!?"

Hikari, true to her nature, tried futilely to dispel the argument. "Now, now, we're all just cranky at having lost. We'll beat them next time…"

"Yamagishi is correct," Rei said stoically, putting on her school uniform. "Asuka's plan had a 34% chance of success. After reviewing Kensuke's strategy, I determined that his plan had an 82% chance of success. Moreover, this plan was made with the assumption that Asuka would put the bulk of our team on the front line – a tactic that seems to have worked."

Before Asuka to berate the 1st child for her words, Mana suddenly came to Asuka's defense.

"Hold on…I'll admit Asuka doesn't have much variety…but just the same, a soldier is supposed to obey a commanding officer. Just because there's a chance the plan might fail doesn't give a soldier any right to stray from it without a clear sign of failure."

Mayumi frowned. "Soryu is not our commanding officer, Kirishima, much as she'd like to think she is."

"For the sake of these exercises, she effectively is," Mana shot back.

"Why?" Mayumi countered. "Because she's the most experienced? We all know that my marks are the highest out of all of us. Why shouldn't I be allowed to decide my own course of action?"

Mana crossed her arms under her breasts. "The fact of the matter is, Mayumi…you're not a team player. I heard about that stunt you pulled with the 10th Angel. Asuka may be arrogant, but at lease she uses teamwork. You act like you're the only one of us who can fight."

Mayumi withered under the verbal battery. "Do I…do I really?"

Hikari placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, don't let it get to you. We all learn from our mistakes. Just try not to let it happen next time. No one blames you for our loss today."

Asuka grunted. "Says you…"

Rei sighed and opened the door to leave.

xxxxx

April 17th, 2016

Misato stared at the aftermath of the battle.

"Shinji…"

Unit 01 stood still, a statue, a monolith, still clutching its sword, almost daring anyone to approach it. The Angel lay slain at its feet. Unit 00 lay motionless on the ground.

Ritsuko gaped at the Eva, in disbelief.

"Berserker…?"

Mana and Kensuke limped to their feet, their camouflaged Evangelions standing still, not knowing what to do. Around them, Mayumi, Kaworu, Asuka, Hikari, Toji…

Maya, Shigeru and Hyuga could barely stomach the carnage..

"My God…"

The Angel was defeated. The casualties had been steep. Some of it might be repaired. Some of it might not.

Gendo and Fuyutsuki remained cold. Emotionless. This was all part of the plan. They would not bat an eyelash. No matter how much it hurt.

Beneath the desk, the father of Shinji Ikari clenched his fist until his knuckle were white. But even that spectacle was concealed beneath his pristine white gloves.

"Is the Angel's destruction confirmed?" he asked in a low, quiet voice.

Maya shakily looked at her readings.

"Y…yes…" she barely managed, before putting a hand on her mouth.

"Good." Gendo said promptly. "Scuttle the recovery team. Dr. Akagi…I want to know what happened to Unit 01. Ensure the pilot's safety personally."

Ritsuko nodded weakly. "Yes sir…"

Fuyutsuki stared at his old student. He couldn't say he was surprised at his commanding officer's actions. But he also wasn't pleased.

"Why children? Why, oh why, does it have to be children?"

Gendo adjusted his glasses to hide some expression beneath.

"Our children are responsible for our future. Now more than ever. Whether we wish it or not."

Fuyutsuki frowned. He knew the answer of course. But it didn't mean he had to like it.

The two of them watched the recovery teams get to the Evas, and pry the pilots from their twisted remains.

In some capacity or another.

xxxxx

April 16th, 2016

There is a myth some women like to propagate that most men are somehow out of touch with their feelings. This is largely a falsehood as, like women, most men are only comfortable sharing certain feelings with other men.

"That was _amazing_, Ken!" Toji said as the two of them exited their respective showers, towels around their waists. "I thought we were toast! But you practically saw the battle from a whole different angle! The Major is gonna have to start asking _you_ for strategic advice from now on!"

Ken smiled weakly, twisting his neck back and forth. It was still sore from being banged up after Shinji had forcefully removed him from his infected Eva. He only felt gratitude, but pain was still pain, and he wanted some relief.

"Yeah, thanks…hey, do these facilities have baths by any chance? I'd like to go take a soak and take some stress of my neck."

"No baths, unfortunately," Kaworu offered as he walked out of his own stall, wrapping the sterile white NERV towel around his waist. "But they do have a sauna. It might make you feel better."

Kensuke looked skeptical. "I've never been in a sauna before, but…oh well. It never hurts to try…"

Decided, the three boys walked along the slippery tile floor towards a glass door with a wooden handle, opening it and stepping into a hot, dry room lined with wooden benches, a stove with hot coals blistering off to the side.

Everyone was surprised to find Shinji already seated within, listening to his SDAT.

"Hey, Shin-man," Toji remarked, looking surprised. "I thought you'd have cleared out of here by now."

Shinji glanced up, tugging the bugs out of his ears. "Oh…um…hi guys."

Kensuke looked around, speculatively. "This is the first time I've seen a facility like this. Have you always used this?"

Shinji shrugged. "Sometimes. It's nice to come in here and relax. Usually it's kind of peaceful…"

"Would you like us to leave?" Kaworu offered, sensing Shinji's discomfort.

The boy shook his head. "No, it's fine…I'd actually like to talk to you guys about something…"

Concern now evident on everyone's face, they all sat a comfortable distance from each other, allowing the heat to soak in, shedding sweat at an increasing rate.

"What'sa matter?" Toji inquired, getting right to the point.

"Nothing's wrong," Shinji maintained. "I just want to know how everyone feels about fighting beside me…"

Kensuke stared incredulously at him. "Are you kidding? The one of the most experienced Eva pilots at NERV! You even got two kills in our practice drill today!"

Toji crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, I took out Mana. She was the biggest threat."

Kaworu smirked at Kensuke. "And you, Kensuke, took out Mayumi, who is arguably the most skilled pilot at NERV. Not to mention the fact that you choreographed that entire performance."

Shinji tried not to laugh. "Guys, you're missing the point. The point is, even though I have some skill as a pilot, I…I don't do things by the book. I fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. I see a fellow pilot go down, and I…I just flip. And I know I'm doing it out of good intentions…but I'm still putting you guys, not to mention the world, in danger when I do. I'm…I'm not fit to be a pilot. You guys would be better off without me."

Toji was the first to speak. "'Ey man, you listen to me. I would rather have you on my team than anyone else from Tokyo-3. What you're talking about, disobeying orders to protect friends…that takes guts. That takes spirit, dude. Keeping your friends alive ain't weakness. It's somethin' to be proud of."

"Yeah, Shinji," Kensuke added. "The Major doesn't know what it's like to pilot Eva. Your father doesn't know what it's like to pilot Eva. You do. You do better than any of us guys. You know the best decision to make when you're behind the wheel. So if it's your call to save your ally, then I'm behind you, no matter the consequences. Hell, it was that very nature that saved me from that Angel, after all! I wouldn't be alive if not for you!"

Kaworu put a hand on his other shoulder. "Shinji, do not berate yourself for this instinct you speak of. It is a valuable asset. Keep it. Use it. It will save more comrades in the future…I guarantee it."

Shinji had to stop himself from blushing. "Gee…" he smiled, looking back and forth at everyone's faces. "Thanks guys…"

xxxxx

A/N: Sorry about the extended hiatus. I couldn't figure out how to get this chapter to come out right. I'm still not convinced it's how it should be, but I wanted to try something new.

Stay tuned.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference Of A Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

A/N: Just saw 2.0. It got me pumped. Writing will commence now.

April 27th, 2016

Kensuke opened his eyes and found himself wondering if the past week had all been a dream. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him That would certainly account for the fact that he kept waking up in this same damn hospital bed. He blinked, realizing that he still couldn't see clearly and was about to reach for his glasses when…

"Here…" a pair of hands slid the spectacles over the bridge of his nose, and suddenly a face came into view.

He blinked several times to ensure he wasn't still dreaming. "Mana?"

He could tell now that she had been crying. "Doctor's said you wrenched your neck again…only so many G's the LCL can dampen…idiot…"

Kensuke relaxed a little when he realized it was really her, but his brows reknit when he saw her in crutches.

"You're hurt!"

Mana's smile was unconvincing and forced. "Idiot…I'm fine…I'll be out of these in no time…"

He tried to reach his hand out to her, but he couldn't muster the strength. His thoughts turned to his friends and compatriots.

"What about Toji? Hikari? Shinji?" Kensuke gasped, trying to sit up, and getting a face-full of stars for his trouble. "How is everyone!"

"Alive…" Mana breathed, her eyes drained of energy.

Kensuke desperately wanted to get to his feet so he could see for himself, and absently realized that he still couldn't move his neck because of this grudgingly familiar neck brace. His eyes flew open, however, when he realized he also couldn't feel his toes.

"Mana, what happened to me?" Kensuke stammered, adrenaline suddenly filling his system. "Why can't I move my legs!"

Mana shook her head. "Relax. Take a deep breath. We were the lucky ones…"

Kensuke fixed a glare at her. "Mana…don't try to protect me…tell me the truth…"

His heart sank when he saw her begin to cry all over again. He tried once again to reach out and take her hand.

But he wasn't able to.

He would never be able to.

xxxxx

Hikari woke up – or thought she woke up – and instantly regretted the decision. It hurt to breathe, and her vision was a foggy red haze. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to let out a scream, but a silent exhalation was all that came. She felt like there was a wad of steel wool shoved down her throat, clogging her airway and scrapping her throat raw every time she tried to breathe.

In her clouded vision, she thought she made out a familiar shape, and then a warm hand touched her cheeks.

"You gave me a real scare, Hikari…" a warm, coaxing voice sounded in her ear.

All of the sudden, she forgot about her aching lungs, and she blinked, the foggy cloud over her eyes clearing to reveal Toji's smiling face, staring down at her.

She tried to say his name, but her mouth was dry.

"Easy…" Toji said gently, stroking her hair. "The doc's said you're gonna be fine. You just need some rest…"

She suddenly coughed, an act that shot a spike of indescribable pain through her chest and neck, and a wad of blood splatting unceremonious onto the front of her hospital gown. Hikari tasted blood and made a face.

"Yuck…" she moaned, pitifully as she saw the mess she made. "My throat hurts…"

Toji nodded and – Hikari blinked as she noticed what he was sitting in – rolled his wheelchair over to the telephone by the door, speaking into it. Moments later, a nurse came and injected something into the IV bag by the bed, which Hikari now noticed was slowly letting fluids seep into the blood stream of her left arm. The nurse cleaned her gown with a sanitary wipe, and left in a hurry.

The pain in Hikari's chest began to decrease, but her voice began to slur as a result of the anesthetics.

"Is that…?" Hikari glanced at the bed adjacent to hers. In it was a girl on a ventilator, a clear tube running up to a facemask, fogging with the occasional exhalation.

"It's Soryu," Toji confirmed, looking depressed. "They said she'd need to be on that breathing tube for a while. Yours came out yesterday. That's probably why your throat was so sore…"

He felt Hikari's hand slip into his own where it lay on the side of the bed, and he looked down at her, looking worried.

"Glad you're alright…" she mumbled, looking woozily at Toji. She was starting to feel tired.

"You too…"Toji smiled and her and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Get some sleep, Class Rep…I'll be right here…"

Her hand tightened in his as her eyes closed.

xxxxx

Kaworu, having made a "miraculous recovery" stepped into the hospital room where the 3rd and 6th child were kept, both having needed ventilators, and smiled as he saw Toji, his wheelchair next to Hikari's bed, his body resting against her bed, his eyes closed. It made him smile to see the two of them like that, even having just barely survived their last encounter.

The next encounter, he knew, would be far worse.

"Asuka…" he mouthed under his breath, standing next to her. She didn't look half the valiant warrior he knew her to be, but he knew that having the greater sync ratio, she had taken a substantial degree of the damage her Eva had experienced. Thank goodness Zeruel's ribbons had made a clean cut, otherwise this would be even more difficult than it already was.

Slipping his hand into her still one, he closed his eyes and tightened his grip. He knew she wouldn't respond, but he could feel the fire within her soul laying dormant.

But it wasn't gone.

He took a deep breath and expanded his will. Not enough to fully manifest his powers, but enough for his soul to brush against Asuka's. Her blood began to quicken, and suddenly she was coughing, her throat constricting around the breathing tube.

"I'm sorry, Asuka…" he said, letting go of her hand. "You can't rest for much longer. You're needed for the next act."

As he turned to go, several attending physicians rushed in through the door, ignoring Kaworu to check Asuka's vitals, exchanging puzzled looks before one of them nodded and began to remove her breathing tube.

Her breathing and her pulse returned to normal, and she resumed peaceful slumber.

"That was a risky move…" an accusing voice voiced to Kaworu as he exited the room. "If your AT Field had expanded any more, all of NERV would have been alerted to your presence."

Kaworu smiled as Mayumi looked at him, her bespectacled eyes not even trying to hide their disappointment.

"You know how much Asuka loves to fight…" Kaworu smiled as he meandered down the hall, not caring if Mayumi followed him or not. "I was doing her a favor."

"No you weren't…" Mayumi frowned, arms crossed. "You and I both know this next battle might be too much, even for all of us…"

Kaworu said nothing as he left her standing there, staring worriedly at the two girls in the hospital room. One, who had opened herself to the person she cared for, lay still as the boy stayed by her side. And the other, who was too proud to do so, tossed and turned as the one who cared for her most walked away.

xxxxx

"Shinji? Shinji, is that you!"

Shinji mentally groaned. He wished whoever was calling out to him would let him sleep.

"How could you be _here_!" the voice sounded incredulous. "You're supposed be outside with everyone else!"

The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He was just so tired, and he had been having such a pleasant dream. Maybe if he just rolled over…

"No! Don't go to sleep! You'll disappear!"

Shinji suddenly rocked, as though someone had shoved him out of bed.

"Whoah!"

He opened his eyes, seeing only water – or was it LCL – around him. He thought he saw a light shining beneath him. He got the impression that it was the sun shining through the liquid, and suddenly felt disoriented as the inclination that he was upside down overtook him. He quickly righted himself.

"Don't you realize where you are?" the voice sounded, and Shinji twisted around to look at the speaker.

"Mom?"

She shook her head, and he realized that he was wrong. The woman wasn't someone he recognized, at least visibly. But he could have sworn he'd heard that voice before.

"Not quite," she mused. "I don't think either of you are ready to see each other just yet…"

Shinji wasn't sure what she meant by that. It didn't occur to him that they were both nude, though their bodies were somewhat blurry below the neckline. There wasn't much light in this…what was this place, anyway?

"Where am I?" he asked stupidly. Everything about this place, the warmth, the smell, the sound of this woman's voice…it all felt…familiar.

"I'll try to explain…but it's complicated…" the woman looked flustered and uncertain, but not at all shy. "I don't really understand it myself…but from what I can tell, this place exists beyond the world we live in. It…"

The woman suddenly clutched her head and groaned as if in pain.

Shinji reached out his hand. "What – what's wrong?"

The woman's body shook and she curled into a fetal position, her body floating haphazardly amidst the LCL.

"Can't…no…mustn't…" she gasped for breath, eyes clenched shut. "I want to tell you…but it's forbidden…"

Shinji swam closer, hesitating, before reaching out to take her by the shoulders.

"I don't understand!" he cried. "Who are you!"

The woman shook, before going rigid, and lifting her head.

"_ME_…?"

Her voice sounded different, as if another consciousness was in control. It was deeper in pitch, as though it were echoing across the LCL.

Her eyes opened. They were glowing red.

"_I AM EVA_."

xxxxx

"For the last time…" Kaji sighed. "You're not a failure."

The raven-haired woman sitting opposite him hiccupped, several bottles lay strewn across the table between them.

"Oh yeah?" she growled, knocking back another drink. "Then explain to me how else I could have let two thirds of my pilots nearly die?"

"The 'nearly' part, for starters," Kaji shook his head. "No other commander in the world could have taken what we had and launched an effective countermeasure to the attack we received, and certainly not in the amount of time you had. We suffered minor casualties at worst."

Misato slumped over, her cheeks crimson. "I had to rely on the tactical mind of one of my own pilots…and now that pilot's probably never going to walk again…"

Kaji gritted his teeth, staring across at her. He had seen this before, seen Misato launch herself into a self-destructive cycle of self-loathing and blame.

"Stop it…"

"Asuka and Hikari are on ventilators…" Misato's hair covered her eyes. She and Kaji both knew that both those girls had recently been taken off their breathing machines, but she went on. "Toji's in a wheelchair…and Shinji…"

"Stop it, Misato…" Kaji got to his feet, his chair's feet squeaking on the floor as he shoved it back with his legs. "It's a shitty situation, but it could be a lot worse. And each of your pilots knew the dangers of what they were getting into."

Misato sighed, sitting back in her chair. "Why do they all have to be so brave? Why can't one of them – just one of them – ever just say 'I'm afraid, Major…I can't do it?' Nobody would blame them…"

"Nobody except the next pilot on the list to be recruited," Kaji pointed out. "And none of your pilots is unafraid. They're all terrified. But as scared as they are for themselves…I bet you they're even more scared for the lives of their fellow pilots…"

Misato sniffed and looked back at him.

"You've been on the field before, Misato," Kaji smiled sincerely. "You should know that the first thing on any soldier's mind isn't their own survival, or even the greater cause they're fighting for. It's for the safety of the soldier fighting next to them…that's what they're fighting for. That's what these kids are fighting for…"

He looked away as he nursed his own drink.

"…And that's what I'm fighting for…"

Misato was either too drunk to hear him or didn't let herself react to his words. But her cheeks were flushed brighter than ever.

"How about you?" Kaji asked, turning to face her, his features composed once again. "What are you fighting for?"

Misato thought about her days in college with Kaji and Ritsuko, about the good times they'd had, the messes, the awkward bumps, the love, the heartache…

Was that what she fought for? So that these kids could one day grow up and make the same mistakes she could, and make them without the fear of impending apocalypse looming over them.

Or was it for something…more basic?

"Kaji…" she sighed, finally making eye contact with him. He had been like a stranger for so long since he'd arrived. They had exchanged playful banter here and there, he had pretended to flirt with her, and she had acted like she didn't know it wasn't pretend. But she never let him get close, never as close as they had been…

But right now…

She leaned closer.

Her phone vibrated.

_Fuck!_ She almost said aloud, before flipping it open.

"Katsuragi here…" she groaned over the phone, her voice slurred.

Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"What!"

She instantly sobered.

"No…no, no, NO! Not _now_! "

xxxxx

Unit 01's eyes were lit up as though it were active, but there was no active synchronization. But that wasn't the scary part. What had the entire scientific crew of Project E nearly wetting themselves was the fact that the Eva's head was tossing back and forth, its eyes flickering as a hollow roar emanated from what sounded like deep within its throat.

"What's going on!" Professor Kyoko Soryu demanded. Below her, Ritsuko and Maya, on the operations deck scrambled to check readings.

"Uncertain," Maya wracked her brain for answers. "The Eva suddenly began fighting against its restraints."

Soryu glared at the Eva. "Then how is it not tearing itself out of there? We all know those locks aren't enough to hold a berserker Eva."

Ritsuko's brows knit fiercely. "Not the physical restraints, Professor…my mother outfitted the Evangelions with powerful mental barriers as well. If the Eva ever actually became _conscious_ what we were doing to it…"

She let the thought hang. Maya felt a little more than unsafe.

"Then what's it doing!" Kyoko demanded. "Is it trying to get past those restraints?"

"Possibly," Ritsuko mused, lighting a cigarette. "Shinji and the Eva are one mind now. He might have stumbled over some of the psychological safeguards we've put in place…"

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The Eva was in no serious threat at the moment, but they couldn't leave it the way it was much longer. Already it was almost ten days since Shinji had been in there.

She stared at the beast as it stilled, its eyes flickering back off. Everyone calmed down a little – they had all thought they might have accidentally lost their pilot. But Ritsuko knew…

If they didn't get him out of there soon, they probably would.

"This would be so much easier if my mother or Dr. Ikari were here…" she massaged her temples.

Maya looked up at her sympathetically. "Senpai…"

That's when the alarms started going off.

xxxxx

April 28th, 2016

So far, the Angel wasn't posing an immediate threat. It was simply floating off in orbit, far away from the reach of any of NERV's offensive reach, even with the positron rifle. Mayumi, Kaworu and Rei were in three separate positions throughout the city, similar to how they'd been positioned during the 10th Angel in case it should decide to dive bomb the city, each armed with one of the aforementioned rifles, each equally ineffective, and waiting in anticipation for the Angel to make a move.

"She's not interested in us," Kaworu said, as though it were obvious.

Rei, always suspicious of the strange boy, said nothing. This was partly due to her lack of sleep – they had been out here since two in the morning yesterday, and it was nearly midnight.

Mayumi, for her part, inquired further.

"She knows who we are," Kaworu explained. "The three of us, I mean. And she's not interested in us."

Mayumi, who was familiar enough with Kaworu's enigmatic speech, tried to put it together in her head. "So…we need one of the other pilots out here?"

"Precisely," Kaworu admitted coyly.

"But there _are_ no other pilots," Rei argued. "We are all that is left. Every other pilot has been…" she thought of Shinji. "…incapacitated…"

"Not quite," Mayumi sighed, the dots connecting in her head. "There's one other…"

"Who?" Rei demanded. "Surely you do nott mean Pilot Kirishima? She is in crutches. Suzuhara is in a wheelchair, Soryu, Horaki, and Aida are bedridden, and Shinji…"

"Asuka is just fine," Kaworu declared. "She just woke up."

Rei bristled. "Still…having just recovered, there is no way she is in any condition to pilot."

"To the contrary," Kaworu said with that maddening smile of his. "Her sync ratio is still higher than yours. And yours, in case you haven't noticed, is dropping by the second."

Rei didn't want to admit it, but he was right. She was tired. She was pushing twenty-two waking hours, and maintaining synchronization with her Eva was taking its toll. She needed to rest. How Kaworu and Mayumi managed to pull it off…

"Major Katsuragi," Kaworu radioed the bridge, his smile ever present on Rei's screen. "I'm worried that Pilot Ayanami has become incapacitated from lack of sleep. Request replacement pilot so she can get some rest.

Rei's brow knotted tightly at Kaworu. "What are you planning?"

Kaworu looked annoyed. "The next act." Then he shut off her comm. channel.

Misato looked like she was ready to argue, but suddenly looked to the left as though she were hearing someone speaking to her, before returning her attention to the screen.

"Understood, Nagisa," Misato said, sounding surprised. "Asuka just woke up, and she'll head out in Unit 02 to take over for Rei. How are you and Mayumi holding up?"

"Just fine, Major," Kaworu said with a smile. "Maintaining synchronization is not as difficult for those with higher synch ratios."

Rei received orders to retreat, and while she couldn't argue (her synch ratio _was_ in decline), she couldn't help but fear that she was allowing Asuka to be put in harm's way.

xxxxx

Asuka had been verging on depression before the call came to her hospital room telling her that she was their last viable pilot. Her confidence bolstered for the moment, she practically sauntered over to the Eva cages in her plug suit, with only a little stiffness in her arms and legs. So she had a bit of a handicap. Ha! The Angel would need it, now that _she_ was on the battlefield.

Unit 02 had barely even left the catapult when the attack came.

"Photonic wave, incoming!"

Asuka was enveloped in light in moments as her mind began to flashback.

_PRIDE!_

Asuka reeled back like she had been smacked in the face, her Eva stumbling.

"What…?"

_FEAR!_

Unit 02 fell to its knees. Asuka was sweating, but she didn't know why.

_ANGER!_

She was remembering…her father? Her mother? Kaji? Shinji? Her days piloting, those days when she was at the top of the world.

_ENVY!_

She saw Rei and Shinji in her mind, their arms around each other.

"What is…?"

_HATRED!_

It was…someone else. Some_thing_ else! A second will…inside her mind…

Probing her…

"Get…get out!"

_REGRET!_

She stumbled about in her Eva, half falling down as Unit 02 drove through buildings around her.

_LUST!_

She was pinning Shinji to her bed, kissing him hungrily. When she withdrew, his face was that of Kaworu.

_GREED!_

"NO!" she ordered, pounding her fists against every surface she could reach inside her entry plug. "Get out! GET OUT OF MY MIND!"

_WRATH!_

Unit 02 was in a fetal position on the ruined street as Asuka sobbed within her entry plug.

"Please…don't rape my mind…"

xxxxx

He had been a fool. A fool! He had been playing right into their hands, and he hadn't even known it until it was too late! And now, he had put Asuka in danger.

It was too much.

"Kaworu, where are you going!" Mayumi demanded as she saw him moving. If Kaworu meant to interfere, SEELE would not stand for it.

But he was past caring. All they wanted was to bring things to 'That Which Should Be,' an impulse they had instilled in Kaworu since birth. Consciously, he could overcome it. But its effects had been subtle, and he had thought that his plan had been utter genius.

He reached Asuka, and his Eva screeched to a halt over Unit 02, and he stood before the ray of light that struck her. He spread his arms wide and absorbed as much of the blast as he could.

"What are you doing, Arael?" he demanded, making sure his radio was off. "This isn't how it's supposed to go!"

_This…is That Which Should Be…_ the voice of Arael sounded in Kaworu's mind.

"Are you a fool?" Kaworu shouted. "Open your eyes! You're victimizing this poor girl for the sake of your own curiosity!"

_Tabris…you would turn on your own kind?_

"It is _you_ who have turned!" Kaworu accused. "Mother and Father have no such intentions for humanity!"

_This…is That Which Should Be…_ Arael's voice spun like a song in his mind. _You…are a traitor…_

All at once, Kaworu felt his vision going foggy as Arael's mental probes began digging into his mind. He gritted his teeth and glared off at the pristine white Angel in the sky.

"You are an ignorant fool, Arael. You can't do anything to me…" Kaworu grunted, though his vision was narrowing. "Your task is forfeit."

_Then…I shall die…_ Arael's voice did not bear the resignation that Kaworu knew to be there. _But…you cannot save humanity, Tabris…_

The light faded off. Arael's wings curled in on themselves as the Angel fell out of orbit. As it entered the atmosphere, the earth rotated beneath it enough so that it would land somewhere in the north Atlantic. NERV officials would try to figure out what happened, if it had tried for a dive bomb attack that the 10th Angel had tried, then why had it missed by such a margin. Kaworu would be the only one to know that the Angel was already dead. There would be a spectacular tidal wave. And that would be the end for Arael.

"I'm not here to save humanity…" Kaworu muttered in prayer before unconsciousness claimed him. "I'm here to convince humanity…to save itself…"

xxxxx

Once the battle had ended, Rei stared blankly at the discombobulated mess of wires that protruded from the base of Unit 01's skull, the place where Shinji's entry plug was situated. As she stood, hands clasping the safety rails, her mind swam in a state of perpetual unreality. Dr. Soryu and Dr. Akagi had both informed her that Shinji's mind had passed the human ego limit and had somehow melded with that of the Eva, taking his body with it. With her limited grasp of biomechanics (she knew surprisingly little based on her origins, she mused absently), this was all she was able to comprehend.

Though comprehend may have been too generous a term. How could one 'comprehend' the fact that the person they cherished most was in a state of _Schrödingeric_ limbo? She had been told that the Shinji she knew may not even exist anymore. That the boundaries of his soul had come down and allowed the nearest soul – that of Unit 01 – to meld with it.

Rei fought back fear, revulsion, hatred, frustration and despair. A year ago, she would have never been the subject of such emotions, but Shinji had brought out the worst – and the best – in her. It wasn't fair! What right did Unit 01 have to Shinji? It wasn't even _her_ child! Unlike the other pilots, Rei had spent a great deal of time underground, and overheard enough snippets of Dr. Ikari's conversations with Professor Akagi to attain a basic understanding of the situation. Within each Evangelion Unit lay the soul of a human mother, whose primal instinct to protect her young made each Evangelion the most powerful force humanity could physiologically render.

But each of those mothers was being duped – there was no blood relation between the pilot and the soul within the armor. Each pilot was selected, seemingly arbitrarily, to pilot each Evangelion. And if the cross-synchronization tests were any indication, it didn't rightly matter one way or the other which pilot sat in which cockpit. Yui Ikari and Naoko Akagi's research and scientific developments had progressed to such a state that each Evangelion was, effectively, a domesticated pack-mule, who would respond to the kick of any rider.

What right did this beast have to take Shinji from her, and keep him for her own? She was just a ghost – a will that had outlived its lifespan, whose essence fueled humanity's last desperate hurrah. Rei bit down on her lip as she glared at the giant purple demon. Her red eyes beamed increasingly poorly restrained hatred for the behemoth. A trickle of blood ran down her chin as her teeth dug into her lower lip, and she squeezed the hand-railing that stood between the machine and her, the scrambled recovery crews and whirring and humming of repair equipment fading to black around her.

Never before in her life had she ever felt such raw anger. And never before in her life had she ever directed such passion towards Eva. Shinji really did bring out the worst in her. She felt weak. Vulnerable. At the mercy of this all-consuming monster of hatred and rage. She hated the Eva, but more than that, she hated herself for being so useless. For being unable to do anything to help Shinji. For being so inept on the battlefield as to cause Shinji to be put in such danger in the first place. And that hatred led her to despair.

A single tear trickled down her cheek to merge with the blood that was already collecting at the point of her chin, hemoglobin mingling with salt. Red eyes practically bloodshot as she glared accusingly at the Eva, her skull was hammering as her pulse steadily drove her mad with a constant thundering that pounded at her mind, blinding her instant by instant. Her grip tightened on the handrail as her jaw lowered to let out her gasping breath.

"Give…him…_back_…"

xxxxx

Commander Ikari sat before the committee, their large monolithic emblems revealing nothing.

"The 15th Angel was weeks ahead of schedule," Gendo pointed out.

"This was within predictable realms of divergence from the scenario," one of the monoliths uttered.

Ikari had a feeling that Third Impact could have happened tomorrow, and it would have still been 'within predictable realms of divergence from the scenario.'

"Any other changes you plan on hiding from me?" Gendo mused rhetorically. "I am not my wife. The less I am told, the less effective I am."

"What we need is a tool that performs its task regardless of what it is given to work with," said one of the monoliths.

"Then you ask the impossible," Gendo announced. "My staff is at its limits. Most of my pilots are incapacitated. It is nothing short of a miracle that my own son has escaped the confines of his Eva. If not for those three…"

"The Nephilim cannot be relied upon," Keel declared. "They represent time borrowed from the enemy."

"And who is our enemy?" Gendo demanded. "This last Angel didn't seem interested in fighting the Eva's, much less uniting with Adam."

"The 15th Angel is a special case," one of the markers sounded. "Only two remain…"

Gendo nodded. "Which means, after the next battle…"

"There is a reason the Nephilim were put under your protection…" Keel said sternly. "Do no disappoint us Ikari…"

They disappeared.

Gendo squelched his anger as he left the holo-projection room. He had neglected to tell them that the Fifth Child had been unconscious since the last battle. Perhaps he expended too much energy in twisting radio signals to suit his needs, or in speedily regenerating himself, the 3rd and 9th Child. Or maybe his battle with the 15th Angel really _had_ taken its toll on him. It had to explain why the fight had ended so abruptly.

Gendo mused silently. He didn't trust the 5th Child. But he trusted SEELE even less. But he had to make a decision as to which of them to side with, and soon.

xxxxx

"The Doctors gave you a clean bill of health," Misato said as she escorted Shinji through the hospital wing to the other pilot's rooms. "Some muscle atrophy, nothing a bit of exercise won't fix. You might as well have been comatose for a week and a half."

Shinji shook his head in disbelief. "A week and a half…" It was still hard to absorb. And that wasn't even counting the strange dream he had while he was stuck in his Eva.

"Everyone survived the battle, but a lot of the pilots are worse for wear," Misato saluted him somberly. "I take full responsibility for what happened in that battle, and I apologize for letting you and your friends down, Shinji."

Shinji waved an arm uncomfortably. A superior officer shouldn't salute her subordinate! "It's our fault too, Major!"

Misato smiled weakly. It felt good talking to Shinji like this, even if he took her command more seriously than she did.

"By the way…" Misato's smile widened. "How long is she going to do that?"

Shinji's arm was very nearly dead from Rei's uninterrupted grip on it throughout the time of their journey and Shinji's waking.

"Is there a problem, Major?" Rei asked bluntly.

Misato waved her hand. "Not at all. Carry on."

Rei intended to.

Shinji saw each of his fellow pilots in turn. Hikari and Toji were both taking shaky steps, and Mana was already off her crutches. But Kaworu and Asuka were both comatose. And Kensuke…

Shinji nearly broke down into tears when he saw him.

"Hey…" the boy said, trying to sound tough. "Relax, will you? I'm not dead…and I can still technically pilot…even if I can't walk…"

It was a joke of course. Kensuke would be put on absence leave as soon as he was released from the hospital. Of course, releasing him from the hospital would only mean being stationed in another hospital in Tokyo-3.

But Shinji left Kensuke's room feeling defeated. Kensuke was paralyzed. Shinji had failed him. He had failed his friend again.

Rei was still holding onto his arm.

"Shinji…" she sighed, pressing her face against his shoulder. "I'm so sorry…"

The tears ran freely down Shinji's face. He was grateful that Rei was there to catch them. But he still felt like he was partly responsible for ruining Kensuke's life.

Rei stayed with him all the way home. She fixed him some chicken broth as per the doctor's orders. They ate in silence. Shinji got up to go to his room. Rei followed without a word.

They held each other all the way into the night. There was no romance, but there was love just the same, something Shinji valued much deeper than a mere sharing of flesh. He was hurting. Badly. And right then, he needed her.

And she needed to be needed.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**The Difference of a Life**

By Kraven Ergeist

April 30th, 2016

Asuka stared down at Kaworu as he slept in a sterile white bed of the hospital wing of the First Branch of NERV Headquarters. When she had heard about the results of the 15th Angel attack, she wasn't sure whether she should feel betrayed or grateful. When she made her way to his room in a hospital gown of her own, having only been in the medical wing to ensure her mental health after being psychically _raped_ by the enemy, she had toyed with the possibility of either killing him in his sleep or climbing into the bed with him.

She compromised by sitting by his bedside and watching him while he slept.

"Idiot," she mouthed, finding herself unable to draw her gaze away from the angular curve of his jaw line, the graceful fray of his hair, the delicacy of his eyelashes, and the slim curve of his lips. He was so damn attractive, and she couldn't believe the thoughts that went through her mind whenever she saw him. It wasn't just his seductive appearance either – his voice, his scent, the way his eyes saw through her and every word she said, the way his words danced around hers…everything about him was screaming for her to take him.

She hated him for saving her, for taking away her chance to stand up in the face of adversity, for making her take a back seat to his own accomplishments. She understood that even he wasn't the best – that even in his magnificence, Mayumi, the prodigy of feng-shui, was still his better. The reality of that hurt her even more than she realized. She was the third child. And third, it seemed, would always be her rank when it came to piloting.

And even Rei, conservative, efficient, taciturn minimalist that she was, was catching up to her. And Shinji too. Even though her sync ratio still trumped them both by a good ten percent or more, their combat skills exceeded her own in several areas. But she always possessed the bravado, the stubbornness, the hot-blooded urge to plunge headlong into the fray from the get-go that the others lacked. It hadn't always proven to be the best course of action, but she had seen how it was a necessary element in any combat situation, to have one fighter who was willing to stick their neck out long enough to look the enemy dead in the eye.

"Why'd you have to save me?" Asuka asked the silent sleeper.

She understood that despite his superiority, he held no delusions of grandeur, no grand vision of himself as the hero, taking the role of protector and savior, nor was he one who desired praise or notoriety for his actions. With him, she always felt protected, but along with the sickening feeling of being useless and unable to properly defend herself, came a feeling that came from no one but a select few.

That of truly being safe.

The only other people she ever felt this way with were her mother and father. And maybe Kaji. But even he had his dangerous side. And her father's recent emotional problems and her mother's blind dedication to her work had caused her to lose some faith in her parents' ability to truly keep her safe.

But with Kaworu…

She shook her head. She had long since grown past the need for protection from anyone! She was capable of handling herself and her own problems! That was crucial – her independence from others was the single goal she had aspired to as she grew up, and she had reached a point where she had thought she could say that she had reached it.

Except when she cried herself to sleep at night because despite her best efforts, despite her logical mind telling her unreasonable body that everything was okay, that she had things under control, that she didn't need anyone to help her get through things, that she needed something. She needed…what? Protection? Comfort? Love?

Sure, it'd be nice to have a warm body to sleep next to. She had long since justified her pursuit of Shinji as her dealing with her body's urges in the only acceptable method available to her. Of all the easy boys she could have targeted, Shinji was the one she could have been most comfortable with. He was a pilot, and not a bad looking one. And the devotion that he showed to his family, to his friends, and…to Rei…proved to her that he did not leave behind those with whom he had become involved.

As vehemently as she had pursued him, the pursuit had nothing to do with her emotional needs – it had everything to do with convincing her teenage body that it was getting everything it needed, so that it would leave her mind alone and let it concentrate on the task of surpassing Kaworu, of surpassing Mayumi, and of becoming the greatest Eva pilot the world had ever seen.

Except…she couldn't hate Kaworu for keeping this goal from her. She wanted to, in her mind, knew he was an obstacle to that path, and the easier to surpass compared to Mayumi. But she couldn't bring herself to try to bring him down, not truly. She could make the occasional pot shot here and there, but she could never launch herself into an all-out takedown campaign the way she had with Shinji or Rei, short lived though that might have been.

Why? Her mind couldn't muster an answer, so the answer must lie in her body somewhere. It wasn't the urge or copulate – nothing so primal. Or maybe, it was even more primal than that. The urge wasn't to lie with the body she sat besides. It was…simply to be with him.

She had never felt so…pure an emotion before. What was it about Kaworu that seemed to bring out these strange feelings in her? He represented everything standing in her way. And yet, he wasn't. He wasn't _trying_ to stand in her way. He was…like a pacer. Always staying one step ahead so that she always had something to focus on, to keep her on her toes. When she pushed herself too far, he stayed ahead of her, reminding her that she was still human, and that she should go easier on herself. And when she fell behind, he picked her up and carried her on his shoulders. But not to make _himself_ look taller – it was to make _her_ look taller.

He seemed to carry a lot of people on his shoulders. He carried Shinji in his sword training, which bolstered his confidence without him even knowing it. He carried the other pilots by being a reliable if enigmatic friend in this strange and unfriendly world of bloodshed and battle. He carried NERV by being one of its pinnacle pilots…

This time though, he seemed to have tried to carry too much.

"I'm not some feeble little girl," she said, lightly tapping her fist against his cheekbone, "I can carry my own weight…"

But she knew he saw that already. He had seen it since the day he took his eyes off Rei and put them onto her. She wondered…if he had decided from his childhood to cast fate to the wind and not blindly chase after the myth of a girl, if he would have had his eyes on Asuka from the beginning. Or maybe it was simply fate that they come together the way they are now.

No point in wondering about the 'what-ifs' of the past. Some of the lights were starting to go out, as the Hospital wing went into its nighttime shift. She didn't want to leave, so she laid her head on the mattress at his side. If he awoke, she felt that she wouldn't have to explain herself to him.

He already knew her reasons.

He already knew her.

Nobody asked her to leave that night.

xxxxx

The lights came on. Shinji inhaled. He thought he had been prepared for anything. But this…there was no experience in his past that could have ever prepared him for this.

Rei stood silently at his side, schooling her emotions not to give any sign of fear, no hint of worry as she waited for Shinji's reaction.

Earlier that evening, Rei had made a decision. Their last Angel battle had come too close to the mark. She was tired of keeping secrets, at least from him, not when they could both die or disappear so easily. She wanted him to know who…what…she truly was.

So when she took Shinji to see Dr. Akagi, and told her she wished to take Shinji down to the lower levels, she grudgingly agreed.

"You're sure about this, Rei?" Ritsuko had asked, sternly, but respectfully. She put the choice in Rei's hands. It was her life, her friend, her future. And she would decide what to do with it.

Rei had nodded, and Ritsuko had guided them both into the elevator that everything thought only went down eighty-two levels. When it hit level B81, the lowest level on the button pad, Ritsuko swiped her NERV card, and tapped the B81 button twice more. The lights in the elevator went red, and the car kept going down.

Shinji was nervous, but he didn't say anything out of respect – or maybe fear – until he saw whatever it was that Rei wanted to show him. Rei had said all she would say. And Ritsuko, feeling guilty enough by being such an instrument in the children's misery, did not interfere, and only provided access to allow them deeper and deeper into the sub-levels of the artificial Geo-Front.

Dr. Soryu would be furious with her if she found out. But there was too much history between Ritsuko and Rei for her to back down.

Even at this depth, the scale was severely reduced compared to that of Terminal Dogma from Tokyo-3, the Black Moon. This facility was little more than a hidey-hole by comparison. But there was still plenty of room for the experiments needed for Dr. Akagi and Professor Soryu to conduct their research.

And part of that research, Shinji soon learned, involved Rei.

"I…I knew you were part Angel…" Shinji admitted, not taking his eyes of the spectacle before him. "I knew you were a test tube baby…so it's only natural that you would have…twins."

Surrounding him was a fluorescent yellow tube, like a deranged man's aquarium, with numerous copies of Rei Ayanami floating and smiling back at him.

Ritsuko shook her head. "Not twins, Shinji…clones."

Shinji thought back to what he had been learning in his biology classes. "A clone is just a genetically engineered twin, isn't it?"

Rei swallowed. Shinji was taking this rather well.

"This does not…shock you?" she asked.

"It shocks me plenty," Shinji laughed uneasily. "These twins-"

"Clones." Ritsuko corrected.

Shinji shrugged and shook his head. "They look as old as you do, Rei. Why are they fully grown? I mean…doctors usually keep several fertilized embryos on ice when parents have their children in vitro or whatever. I just…"

Shinji put his hand on the glass separating him from the carbon copies. Behind the glass, a clone drifted closer placing their hand to his.

He shuddered.

"I just can't understand why you would allow them to gestate and mature in a tank," Shinji looked questioningly at Ritsuko. "Usually, you keep them frozen and allow them to be born naturally with a surrogate."

Rei bit her lip. "I had no such surrogate, Shinji…I was conceived and grown to infancy in a tube such as this…"

It finally clicked in his mind that they were all naked, and he averted his gaze from the glass. The thought occurred to him that if he saw Rei naked, the sight would bear a close resemblance to that of any one of these clones.

No, they were twins. He was determined to think of them as human beings, just like Rei.

"But Rei…these girls…that means these girls are your sisters, Rei," Shinji turned to the girl at his side, putting his hands on her shoulders. Her arms slid around his waist, her eyes on the verge of tears.

Shinji turned his gaze onto Ritsuko.

"Are you telling me they grew up here? Grew to adolescence without any human contact, stuck in a tube that provided them with their nutrients, and never knowing anything outside of it?"

Ritsuko shook her head. She wanted a cigarette, but this was a hazardous area – no telling what ill-effects cigarette smoke would cause. "You don't understand, Shinji…these are just bodies. They have no mind, no soul of their own."

Shinji turned to face Ritsuko. "Then why are they smiling? Why do their eyes follow us? You can't mean to tell me that these girls have no soul!"

Ritsuko closed her eyes. "If you released even _one_ of these girls from this prison, Shinji, they would try to kill you."

Shinji drew in a breath. "What?"

"These _clones_," Ritsuko put a fine point on the term. "Represent purified human will. They are what the Eva's are, Shinji…refined human drive. Basic instinct, desire, passion, dominance…reptilian complex and limbic system, no higher brain functions than that."

"So why would you keep them here at all?" Shinji demanded. "I mean, usually when a hospital keeps embryos, it's to replace the first one in case there are any complications or miscarriages or…"

Shinji stopped when Rei's arms tightened around his waist. She was shaking. Only then did he realize how close to the mark he came.

"Oh my God…" Shinji's eyes widened. "_This_ is why you think you're replaceable!" he said to Rei. Then he turned his eyes onto Ritsuko. "You _let_ her believe that she could fall in battle, and simply be…swapped out? And we wouldn't _notice_!"

Ritsuko shrugged. "If you must blame someone, Shinji, blame your mother and mine. They were the ones who conceived of this. They were the ones who devised the method of transferring Rei's soul from one body to another."

"But you went along with it…" he spat. "You continued this long after my mother's death…"

Ritsuko's expression was stern. "I don't have to justify my actions with you. This was always part of my job."

Shinji felt ill. "I can't believe this…"

"You should be happy, Shinji…" Ritsuko tried to laugh. "You have a girlfriend who can't die…if she does, she comes back to life in a new body. There might be some memory loss, but-"

"_Shut up_!"

Shinji's fist impacted with the tube masking the yellow fluid and numerous laughing faces. Neither the glass nor the bones in his hand gave way. The twins…clones…all flinched.

How could he have let this pass for so long without realizing it? How many years had all this been going on under his nose? This place his mother and father worked, had raised him in, this place which had become his entire world…

"These _things_…can't replace Rei…" Shinji shook, his eyes hidden behind his hair. In his mind, the clones had made the sudden transformation from poor, mistreated sisters into evil, duplicitous fakes. "They're _nothing_ like her!"

Rei, her arms still around his waist, stared at him dumbfounded. "Shinji…"

Ritsuko shook her head. "They're _everything_ like her, Shinji. She's _one_ of them."

"You said that they would _kill_ me given the chance!" Shinji spat.

"And if Rei didn't have the years of maturity and development that we all do at her age, she would too. It's basic human instinct, Shinji. Kill or be killed. We all have it within us. Without it, we would have died out long ago."

"It wouldn't be Rei…" Shinji was still shaking. "I could _never_ accept one of _them_…"

Rei felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had anticipated that coming down her with Shinji would likely result in her crying…but she had never thought that they would be tears of happiness.

Ritsuko pursed her lips. "Like it or not, Shinji, this has been the reality for Rei's entire life."

Shinji's arms tightened around Rei's shoulders. "How many?" he demanded, raising his eyes and his voice towards Ritsuko. "How many of them are there?"

Ritsuko cleared her throat. "Here, there are thirty-six."

Shinji's face fell. "There are _more _facilities like this?"

Ritsuko really wanted that cigarette. She could be killed for revealing this. "There are NERV facilities all across the globe, Shinji. MAGI computer systems, research and development into Project-E…and dummy pilots."

Shinji blinked in disbelief. Is _that_ what they were calling them? "Dummy…pilots?"

Ritsuko crossed her arms. "Do you understand how precarious our situation is now, Shinji? Every nation on the planet stands poised to leap at our throats at the slightest misstep."

Shinji shook his head. "But…the Evas-"

"They have Eva's too, Shinji," Ritsuko sighed. "We are the testing ground. They are the production line. Their Eva's aren't going to be hindered by pilots' weakness or squeamishness. Each of them will have S2 organs and each of them will be fueled by the single basic human desire to kill."

Shinji couldn't speak. He could hardly breathe. These clones…these tridecasextuplets, or whatever you would call thirty-six identical sisters…they would be used, either for warfare to have their baser instincts used as a weapon, or as a sick effort to try to replace the girl he loved.

He turned to face Rei, a question in his eyes, permission to do what should have always been done in the first place. He had known her for years, and could tell with just a look that she agreed. Rei wanted it. She had wanted it from the start, but never before had the courage to ask for it.

"Dr. Akagi…" Shinji said, flat and deadpan. "We want these clones destroyed."

xxxxx

April 31st, 2016

"Senpai?"

Ritsuko didn't look up as her junior worker glanced into her office. Papers lay strewn everywhere, her ashtray was packed to the brim with mashed up cigarettes and a bottle of Schnapps sat mostly empty on her desktop.

Maya let herself in without an invite. It was late; the night shift was already halfway through. She was used to her senior's staying late, as well as her heavy smoking, but she very rarely drank, at least, not like this.

"Senpai…" Maya's voice was concerned as she stepped closer to the Doctor. Ritsuko still hadn't acknowledged her presence. There was a dead look in her eyes that told her that, while Ritsuko wasn't hurt physically, she was under some serious mental strain.

Maya pulled one of the chairs up next to Ritsuko's, sitting down and facing her with her hands on her knees. She knew Ritsuko wasn't comfortable with Maya's feelings towards her, so she had been keeping her actions as platonic as possible. That being said, the ease with which Maya could take advantage of her Senapi's current state of absent-mindedness stayed her hand from anything beyond a wave in front of her face.

Ritsuko's head turned languidly towards the young bridge bunny, the movement looking like it took a great deal of effort on her part. There were dark circles under Ritsuko's eyes, and she looked like she hadn't eaten in a long time.

"Senpai…" Maya hesitated, wanting to say something, anything, to make her feel better, but lost for the world as to what to do or say.

The decision was taken away from her when Ritsuko's head came forward and landed in Maya's lap.

"S-Senpai!" Maya gasped, both in shock and worry. Had she passed out? Had she lost her mind? What was Ritsuko…?

Her chest tightened as she felt, rather than heard, Ritsuko _sobbing_!

"…_Maya_…" she wept, tears weeping freely and staining Maya's uniform skirt.

Maya's eyed widened as she stood frozen, her arms held poised over Ritsuko's shoulders, part of her wanting to comfort her superior, the other part chiding herself for taking advantage of her in this state.

"_You're a fool, Maya…_" Ritsuko wept, her forehead resting between Maya's knees, her hands on the edge of Maya's seat. "_For admiring someone like me…_"

Maya stared down at her in disbelief. This was the woman she had placed so much faith in, put on such a pedestal…was she dreaming? It didn't seem possible for her to be _reduced_ to this!

"_If you knew…_half _the evil things I've done…_" Ritsuko's voice choked, muffled in the fabric of Maya's skirt. "_I'm such a _horrible_ person, Maya…_"

Maya gritted her teeth. She didn't have time for her own insecurities to get in the way! She needed to do something now! Her Senpai needed her. Maybe not in the way she wanted to be needed…but all the faith she invested into Ritsuko…she deserved to have some faith in Maya as well!

Steeling herself, Maya grabbed Ritsuko's shoulders and hoisted her upright.

"You are _not_ a horrible person, Senpai!" she exclaimed, louder than she meant to.

Ritsuko's eyes were red, her face wet with tears, makeup running down her cheeks. "_Maya…you don't understand…_"

"I know more than you think, Senpai!" Maya shouted, eyes closed. "I know about Rei, about Dr. Ikari and your mother! I know about Kaworu and Mayumi, I know about the clones, and I know about what happened last night! And you know what!"

Ritsuko stared dumbly at her subordinate.

"I couldn't be more proud to call you my Senpai!" Maya shouted, her face flushed. "I know you know how I feel, and I know you can't return those feelings, but I hope you at least understand how much…how much I respect you!"

Ritsuko's eyes were wide. "…Maya…"

Maya was the one crying now. "You've taught me everything worth knowing, Senpai! Every day, I come in, hoping you'll teach me more, and show me what an amazing scientist you are! I work myself raw every day just to keep up with you, and you stride past me like it's easy! So please…"

Maya grabbed the bottle of booze from Ritsuko's desk and held it up to make her point.

"Please understand how much it hurts me to see you beat yourself up like this!"

Maya dropped the bottle into the wastebasket next to the desk.

Ritsuko was still dumbstruck. This was a side to Maya she had never seen before, though the psychologist in her always suspected it might be lurking within her somewhere.

Maya let go of Dr. Akagi's shoulders, her hands returning to her knees, looking down bashfully. She knew she had stepped way out of line, but she hoped her message had reached its intended target, even if she got scolded for her breaking of decorum.

Instead, Ritsuko's arms came up around Maya's shoulders and drew her close. Maya's face rose just in time to catch a glimpse of Ritsuko's face, and the relieved smile she wore, before pulling her into a crushing embrace.

"Thank you…thank you, Maya…"

Maya's hands came up around Ritsuko's back to return the embrace. At first, she wasn't sure how to interpret this gesture, as part of her hoped that this somehow signaled a sudden change of heart towards Maya's feelings of affection, and part of her told her that no, she hadn't, and that responding to or even enjoying the embrace was again taking advantage of a moment of weakness in her senior.

But to ignore such a gesture after such an outbreak would only weaken her meaning. And while Maya's stomach fluttered at the thought of this embrace leading to something more, she needed her friendship, her faith and her trust a lot more than she needed her body.

So she returned the embrace, trying to soak in all of Ritsuko's sadness and feelings of emptiness. She would be her shield against her own doubt. She may pale as a scientist…but this was something she could do for her Senpai.

"I'm always here for you, Senpai…" she sighed.

And that would be enough.

xxxxx

Kaji stared out the window of Gendo's office. Outside, a view of the artificial Geo-Front, spanning dozens of kilometers in every direction, lay before him. Reservoirs recycled water, greenhouses captured the reflected light from the city above to grow food, living quarters lined the fringes of the offices, and military bunkers and weapon caches lay in strategic, yet unmarked locations, known only to NERV personnel. The Geo-Front was designed to hold a population indefinitely in the face of nuclear apocalypse. Unfortunately, the apocalypse that loomed overhead would care little for the preparations of a place like the Geo-Front.

"If you have a reason for being here, Mister Kaji, I suggest you get on with it," Gendo snapped impatiently. Fuyutsuki stood calmly at the Commander's side, his patience a foil to Ikari's irritation.

"I may have to disappear for a while…" Kaji remarked casually, his hands in his pockets. "Though I don't suppose you care."

Gendo sat with his seat turned towards Kaji, his head resting on his fist, his arm propped on an armrest, looking bored.

"You speak as if I didn't already know this…" Gendo huffed, his eyes a mask of indignation. "Must you waste my time wish such prattle?"

Kaji's eyes widened. Just how much did the Commander know?

"I'll be in touch…" he smiled, winking. "Our…mutual friend will know how to reach me."

Gendo's tone could not have been more sardonic had he rolled his eyes. "I'll have to thank him for keeping me in contact with such _valuable_ personnel."

Kaji held his hand over his chest mockingly. "Ouch, Commander…"

Gendo waved his hand in a clear dismissal. "Mister Kaji, everything is well in hand. Nothing further will be gained by discussing it."

Kaji nodded and headed for the door. "I just hope your son is up for it…"

Gendo's eyes never left the duplicitous man. "That is my concern, not yours."

Kaji nodded. "He's a good kid. I wonder how he'll be once all this is over."

"The door is in front of you, Kaji," Gendo all but barked.

"Right, right…" Kaji left, looking no more indignant than when he'd arrived.

Fuyutsuki released a breath of air. "I too wonder how your son will fare in the coming battles."

Gendo allowed himself a smile. "I have confidence that he will handle things much as he has in pervious circumstances."

Fuyutsuki snorted. "That, Sir…is what worries me."

xxxxx

May 5th, 2016

Rei gritted her teeth to prevent herself from biting her tongue as her Eva hit multiple G's as it rose through the shaft of towards the battlefield. She was synched at seventy percent. She had fought in simulation after simulation. She was currently ranked as NERV's 5th best pilot, after Mayumi, Kaworu, Asuka and Shinji. Kaworu was out of commission, but the others were riding up with her.

And this was to be her final battle.

She was confident, but she was no fool. She knew what was to transpire after this battle. She knew the fate that NERV had in store for her. Whether she survived this battle or not, she…

No…

Wait…

She hit the top of her catapult, her yellow Unit 00 released from its locks, and just stood there, stock still, frozen solid.

It had never truly hit her until just this moment.

She could die.

She could die, right here, right now…that would be it. It would be over. There was nothing left to replace her now, no clones to house her memories and let her continue to live on. Never mind that the transition process had never taken place before, never mind that she was sickened by the idea of having her mind and soul harvested and transplanted, it had always been there, in the back of her mind as a failsafe, a fallback, a feeling of security that gave her the edge she always had - it was what had made her _fearless_ in battle.

But now, that safety was gone.

It left her utterly stunned.

"Rei! Look out!"

And suddenly, the Angel struck.

xxxxx

Shinji panted in pain. He had blacked out for a moment – the feeling of an Angel assimilating with his mind and body nearly took him into a state of coma. His Eva was buckling under the strain of battle, though his umbilical cable was still in place.

He remembered hitting the Angel with a pincer attack, using himself as the bait to lure it away from Rei while Asuka and Mayumi hit it at point blank range with progressive katana and positron rifle. He had managed to get Rei free of the Angel, even as the Angel had begun to dig into his Eva's skin. He had held the Angel down long enough to give both Asuka and Mayumi a clear shot at it. How the Angel had gotten by either of them was…

He blinked as he began to register his visual monitors. Unit 02 lay unmoving at his feet, her umbilical cable snapped, leaving Asuka unable to fight. Ahead, Mayumi's deep blue Unit 08 was grabbing hold of the brightly glowing tether-like Angel, yanking it like a tug-of-war rope from…

Shinji paled.

"REI!"

The Angel was embedded within Unit 00's core, it's probing tendrils digging beneath the Eva's skin, infecting it, assimilating it. Rei's communication channel was static. Mayumi's displayed only her panicked expression. Her mouth was moving, but Shinji couldn't hear what she was saying. He idly wondered why, until he suddenly felt his Eva shudder, and he realized he was already lunging at the Angel, in a blind state of fury.

In the blink of an eye, Unit 01 was in the air, knife in hand, prepared to seize the Angel and slice its ribbon-like body in half. In an equal span of time, the Angel had yanked Unit 08 off its feet and flung it at Shinji, knocking his Eva out of the air, sending them both flailing out of control.

Shinji's head bounced against his headrest. Even with the LCL's dampeners, his ears were ringing. He tasted blood, his vision was narrow and hazy, and his heartbeat was like a beating drum in his head. He saw the ground underneath him, a cement road and railing utterly destroyed beneath his Eva's headlong tumble, a street light bent beyond all recognition. He saw his Eva's hands clutching the earth as it crawled on its hands and knees, dizzy and confused.

He seethed in frustration. He didn't have time for this! He didn't have time to be fumbling about! Rei was in danger! This fact was all he knew!

But his Eva was moving through molasses, his mind in a sea of fog. Why couldn't he just focus! Mayumi could have been screaming in worry, Major Katsuargi could have been blaring orders over the comm. link, and he would have been none the wiser. He didn't fully grasp the fact that he had suffered a concussion, which had resulted in a severe drop in his synchronization. Even if he had known, he probably wouldn't have cared at this point. All that mattered was that Rei was in danger, and he needed to get to her, and it took all his effort to lift his head to take in the strewn bodies of Unit 08, Unit 02, and…

His hands clasped around something.

Unit 02's progressive katana.

xxxxx

Armisael, the 16th Angel, had no core. Or rather, there was nothing to distinguish its core from its body. Its core _was _its body. That meant that its entire body represented a weak point. To counterbalance this, its body was almost utterly indestructible. It had taken a numerous hits from a positron rifle at point blank range. It had burrowed its way through the innumerable layers of Unit 00's special armor. In terms of durability, it outshone everything it had come up against without so much as a single scratch.

Because if its body received so much a single chink in its armor, the Angel would be finished.

"_The sword is not the weapon –_you _are..."_

Kaworu's lessons echoed in Shinji's mind as he clasped the blade in his Eva's hands.

"_The sword is merely a tool. You are its only limit..."_

He willed his Eva to stand, despite the blood seeping from between its teeth and eye sockets.

"_The katana is considered by weapon smiths worldwide to be the most perfect cutting instrument known to man..."_

Shinji's eyes deadlocked onto his target; the _thing_ growing out of Unit 00's stomach. It had started to take even her form. A white ghost of a girl, who bore her face. Just like those pale shadows in the basement of NERV tried to imitate the girl he loved.

No matter. His target was his target. Rei was Rei. The girl in the Evangelion was the girl he had to protect.

Nothing. Else. Mattered.

"_The Samurai believed it to bean extension of their __soul__..."_

Unit 01's umbilical cable jettisoned. His clock – which usually went to five minutes of low power, and one minute of optimal power – now only registered at ten seconds. Unit 01 digested power at a supernatural rate, its jaws opened in a low growl, its eyes glowing menacingly. Shinji's synchronization level shot from somewhere in the mid thirties to ninety-nine point nine almost instantly. Everything about Unit 01 gave the impression of it having gone berserk.

Yet within, Shinji remained in control

Utter.

Perfect.

Serene.

"_If you put enough heart into it…it will cut through_ anything_!"_

Shinji struck.

Unit 02's katana bit into flesh.

And there was the sound of a crying angel.

xxxxx

In the medical wing of NERV, a silver haired boy with the soul of an Angel stirred at the sound, his eyes opening slowly, his brow furrowing.

"It's time…"

xxxxx

A/N: To be concluded in: "The Difference Of A Life, Book Three: The Boy Who Shouted "I" at the Heart of the World."


End file.
